


I Found Heaven in You

by yeonlyfe



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, M/M, Unrequited Love, cursing, harsh words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 89,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeonlyfe/pseuds/yeonlyfe
Summary: Niki was alone. His friend wasn’t here to be with him anymore. He was left with stares of people he didn’t know. Shortly, living was hell for Niki these past few weeks. New bruises covered the old ones all over again. Niki just didn’t care anymore about anything, but somehow those foxy eyes leave him questioning.
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki, Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 259
Kudos: 529





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Sunki AU! English isn't my first language, please expect some typos and grammatical error. Please don't put any attention on their age, they are basically high school students haha. And I'm sorry in advance, there will be so much cursing and harsh words, like.. alot. Sunki babies I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoy it despite it all!

Niki felt nauseous. These past weeks his life was nothing but hell. People looked at him as if he was a sinner who didn’t deserve any mercy. He tried to ignore it, but still he was just a teen, there were things that teens could barely manage. 

Winter had come too soon this year for him. Left him with no remaining warmth.

Niki walked toward his desk, he put his bag carelessly. He pulled out his earphone and blasted the loudest music he found. At least it’s better than listening to some bullshits his classmates got on him.

Niki felt a hand on his shoulder, he glanced toward the owner. “Good morning!” It was Jungwon, one of few people who didn’t give him a cold shoulder. Jungwon was his roommate at the dorm. Niki only gave him a simple nod.

Jungwon walked to his own desk. Some of his classmates approached him. One of them asked him a question. “Don’t you fear him Jungwon-ah?”

Jungwon only tilted his head to the side. “This again?” He questioned them back.

“I mean, his victim hasn't recovered yet until now!” The classmate secretly pointed at Niki.

Jungwon just let out a deep breath. Jungwon had tried to clear the misunderstanding about Niki. But the boy just told him to stop already, said it was useless and didn’t have meaning. People just wanted to believe their own perspective. 

Jungwon threw Niki a look from his seat. He felt sorry toward him. They just started their first year of highschool two months ago, and yet it had been the worst year for Niki.

Few weeks ago, there was an incident. One of their classmates fell from the windows, and hadn’t recovered until now, no one could reach him, his family kept things private, and gave no explanation on what truly had happened. Even their teachers just kept it to themselves, they only said it was an unfortunate incident.

The fact that the school didn’t even give Niki any punishment or probation seemed not enough for their classmates to pick up that Niki was innocent. Maybe Niki was right, people only believed what they wanted to.

Some people said that they witnessed Niki pushed the poor boy after having some arguments. The incident happened after school, so there weren’t many people at that time. 

Niki didn’t even try to defend himself. He just kept quiet all of the time.

Being Niki’s roommate gave Jungwon more chances to understand what really happened. Actually he himself didn’t know what really had happened. It was only the fact that Niki was Taki’s best friend.

Taki was the boy who fell from the window.

A tap on his shoulder woke him up from his thoughts. “Don’t stare at him too long, who knows what will happen to you if you aren't being careful with him, I pity you for being his roommate.”

Jungwon gave his classmate a dirty look. “The teacher will be here soon, just go back to your seat.” Jungwon told them off.

Jungwon prayed that Niki was fine. He doubted that.

* * *

Niki spent the rest of the day alone, just like every single day since the incident happened. Sometimes Jungwon sat with him, but not for too long since somehow everyone suddenly had things to do with Jungwon, leaving Niki alone yet again.

Niki could understand, Jungwon was a pure boy. People loved him easily, he was handsome, kind and friendly. Maybe his classmates just didn’t want him to contaminate their pure Jungwonie.

Niki was going home alone to his dorm. The sky was dark already, it seemed that he spent too much time hiding on the rooftop today as well.

Suddenly Niki heard voices. It was like a ruckus happened. He tried not to get involved but then he heard a crying. His legs just moved on its own. It was from the back of the building. He got an unsettling feeling.

Air left Niki’s lung instantly. Suddenly it was too hard to breath.

Niki was shocked at the scene in front of him. Niki could see that there were at least 3 people beating up someone on the ground. They seemed to notice Niki’s presence. They stopped what they were doing before. The boy they had beaten up quivering on the ground.

“Oh? Look who it is!” One of them walked toward Niki. Niki clenched his fists hard on his sides, he recognized this voice. Park Jaeha, one of his seniors. “The star of our school!” Jaeha shouted.

Niki finally could see clearly that there were 5 people in total, excluding the boy who was still whimpered there.

“How does it feel, Niki? Being famous?” Niki only hardened his clenched fists. He could hear Jaeha’s friends laughing, mocking him. 

Jaeha stepped forward, he got closer to Niki, and whispered something. “Don’t get involved this time.”

Niki glanced toward the boy on the corner. He seemed to be in his first year just like him. The boy was trying to fix his broken glasses. 

Park Jaeha was a third year student, he formed a gang in his first year. He loved to pick a fight with everyone and bully whoever he wanted. The teachers barely could do anything about him since Jaeha was a son of some influential family. Niki thought that was too cheesy. Using a family name to justify this kind of behavior.

Jaeha took a step back from Niki. He was about to finish his business with his friend, he thought that Niki had gone, when in fact Niki didn’t even take a step back. 

“What are you doing? Just leave!” Jaeha yelled this time. He had a really bad temper.

“Let him go.” Niki told him in a low voice. What did they expect him to do? Leaving an injured boy alone with a bunch of thugs? 

Jaeha seemed to completely lose his temper, his minions sensed it as well, they walked closer to him.

“Niki-ya I think you haven't learned yet.” Jaeha took a step toward Niki once again. Niki stood still, he didn’t budge at all. “Remember what happened to your friend Niki.” Niki’s jaw hardened at the mention of Taki.

“Hmm what is his name again? Ah yeah, Taki.” That was the last straw for Niki.

Niki held Jaeha’s collar and punched his face hard. Jaeha fell on the ground. Niki took a chance to strangle him on the ground and landed more punches on his face.

Everything was happening too fast. Jaeha’s minions tried to stop him, but Niki took each of them down.

Niki thought, with everything that happened in his life right now, with every rumor that people had about him, why didn’t just bring it into reality? 

Niki was done, he didn’t care anymore.

Maybe the rumor wasn’t a rumor at all, maybe it was true that Niki was a monster who knew nothing but hurting.

He looked at the bodies on the ground, Niki was breathing hard. Some of them were unconscious, and some were trying to run away. Jaeha tried his best to stand up.

“You won’t see the end of it!” And then he walked off with his injured legs, Niki had kicked him hard at one point in their fight.

Niki turned around to see the bullied boy from before. “You okay?” Niki asked him, he reached out his hand to help the boy stand up.

“I-I am fine, yes.” The boy stuttered because of shock.

“Go home now, be careful.” Niki let go of the boy’s hand. Niki moved to pick his abandoned backpack. The boy quickly mimicked that and looked for his own. Niki was about to leave when the boy called him.

“Thank- thank you so much for helping me.” The boy said, he hugged his bag closely. “Um, my name is Daniel.”

“I’m Niki.” 

* * *

Niki felt sore on all of his body. It had been awhile since he used this much energy. He got some bruises on his face, but what hurt the most was his hands. 

He walked to his classroom. His classmates’ stares were still as vicious as ever. 

He quietly sat on his desk as always, he was about to put his earphone in when a hand stopped him. Niki looked up and it was Jungwon, who stared at him intently. Well that was new.

“Daniel told me what happened.”

“Uh who?”

Niki had purposely avoided Jungwon since he got to their dorm, he didn’t want Jungwon to ask him questions about his injuries. He even left early this morning to buy some band aids and avoid Jungwon at the same time.

“Don’t try to play dumb. He’s the boy you helped last night.” Jungwon put Niki’s earphones on his desk. “Thank you so much. Daniel is my best friend, thank you for helping him.” Jungwon said sincerely.

“Sure, is he okay?” Niki asked him. Jungwon smiled and nodded.

“Don’t worry, he already went to the teachers' office to report the yesterday incident. He told the teachers that you helped him, so I think you won’t get any trouble, maybe the teachers will ask you questions.

Jaeha’s victims never reported it to their teacher, as far as Niki knew, it was because Jaeha had threatened them, and the ones that were brave enough to report it didn’t get much, even worse, some of them got bullied more.

Niki was grateful that Daniel had the guts to report it to teachers, knowing that it would only bring more harm than good.

* * *

It was lunch time. Niki sat alone at the cafeteria as always. Sometimes Jungwon was there to accompany him before being dragged by his friend, and some people who didn’t know him or simply didn’t care, sat on the same table as Niki sometimes as well, mostly seniors who prefered to eat alone or didn’t have friends just like him. Well, Niki was already used to it, and he decided not to care anymore after all.

So it was a bit strange when he found two people his age stood beside his table, looking at him with expectant looks. “Can we eat here?” Jungwon asked him.

Niki just nodded.

“Hi Niki!” It was Daniel, he looked better than last night. He had bruises on his face as well.

“Hi.” Well he was awkward, he didn’t use to have proper conversation with anyone beside Jungwon since forever.

Niki spent the rest of lunch with Jungwon and Daniel. They were great, they always tried to include Niki to the conversation.

“Well I’m so sorry Niki, Jungwon told me that you’re nice but I was afraid of you because you’re too quiet.” Daniel said to him when they went to return their plates.

“It’s okay.” Niki answered.

“Um Niki, can we be friends?” Daniel asked him in a low voice.

Niki was stunned, did people ask these kinds of questions these days? “Yeah sure.”

“See! He was nice isn’t he?” Jungwon playfully slapped Daniel’s shoulder. 

Daniel started to return the slaps to Jungwon. Shortly, it was turned into small bickering. To Niki it was funny, he unconsciously smiled at them.

“Oh my God, did you see that?” Jungwon asked Daniel.

“I was just about to ask you.”

Niki just left them, a smile still plastered on his face. Maybe his life was about to get better, or maybe it was too soon to think about that matter.

* * *

Sunoo was laying on the bed in the nurse room. It was his first day officially starting as a second year student. But despite the late start, his body was still acting up.

He got three months school leave to help him recover from his surgery. But it was just too boring being at home. He missed human interactions, that was why he persuaded his parents to let him go to school one week earlier, he was just too excited, he had run around with his friend, and ended up with a bloody nose. Looked like Sunoo’s body was too weak to contain his energy.

Sunoo’s life was all white room and the smell of bitter medicine. He even learned to love the smell of disinfectant that he hated so much. He could see the remains of syringes on his pale hands.

His head was still pounding. Sunoo glanced at the pilled used tissues on the nightstand, did he bleed that much?

Sunoo was busy staring at his mess, he didn’t realize someone entered the room.

“Ew that’s gross.” Jay looked at the pile of bloody tissues.

Sunoo sent Jay a frown. “Why are you here?”

Jay openly looked offended. “You don’t want me here? Fine! Just suffer alone.” Jay was about to leave when he heard Sunoo’s laugh.

“Please come back here, I’m lonely!” Sunoo said after laughing.

“You’re lucky I love you.” Jay sat on the chair next to Sunoo’s bed. “Where’s the nurse?” There was only Sunoo and Jay in the room.

“I don’t know, I fell asleep and when I woke up I was alone.” Sunoo tried to get up and sat. Jay helped him put the pillow to support his back.

Jay reached out to throw the used tissus on the bin. Sunoo murmured thank you to him.

“What time is it?” Sunoo couldn’t find his phone, he must have left it somewhere. Jay glanced at the clock on the wall. Sunoo must be really out of it, he didn’t realize there was a clock.

Suddenly there was a sound of bell ringing, the school just ended.

“Wait, do you just skip class? Again?” Sunoo asked his friend.

“I was on bathroom break, and might as well visit you since the school ends soon anyway.”

Not long after, someone knocked on the room’s door before entering. It was Sunghoon and Jake, their friends.

“Are you okay Sunoo?” Sunghoon handed him his bag. Jake had Jay’s.

“Yeah, let’s go, I'm starving, I don’t have lunch yet!” Sunoo got off the bed, he put on his shoes that neatly placed under the bed.

“Uh I don’t think I can accompany you, I have club activities.” Jay said after Sunoo finished tying his shoes.

“Same here.” Jake said, followed by a series of nods by Sunghoon.

“What the hell? Are you in the same club or something?” 

“Yeah kinda.”

Jay, Sunghoon, and Jake belonged to the same club. The dance club. Sunoo knew that Jay and Sunghoon loved dancing, but now Jake as well?

“I want to learn okay?!” Jake told him when Sunoo gave a doubtful look. 

A single look could tell that it wasn’t really the main reason. Sunghoon and Jake were crushing on each other, but too dumb and stubborn to admit it. “Well if you say so.”

“We can go to a convenience store together, let’s get you a take out.” Jay put his hands around Sunoo’s shoulder.

“Nah, my parents will bring me back home if they know that I eat something unhealthy on my first day.” Sunoo sulked. He loved convenience store’s food as much as people his age.

“That sucks, what are you going to eat then?” Sunghoon opened the door for them. They walked out the nurse room together.

“I don’t know, maybe I can order something at the dorm.”

* * *

Sunoo walked alone on his way to the dorm, he had dismissed his friend, letting them go to their club room, they had forced him to let them walk him to his room at first. But Sunoo just wanted to have some time alone, he needed to clear his hazy mind. 

He didn’t have anything to do yet. Maybe he could join club activities. Something that wouldn't result in a bloody nose and headache. He should ask Heesung Hyung if he could join him in his music club.

It was the rainy season, Sunoo could see the clouds start to darken. At least he didn’t have to experience the heat today.

Sunoo chose to walk on the route he didn’t usually take. He wanted a change of scenery. He just needed to pass more buildings before he reached his dorm. Just as Sunoo’s thought no one was there, who stupid enough to spent more energy just to reach the dorm when they had closer route? Well Sunoo apparently.

And some people that stupidly were fighting on the school grounds in the daylight.

Sunoo was contemplating, should he shout to call the teachers? No, it was too far away from the teacher’s lounges. Should he run to the main building and find someone? Nah, he might as well faint before reaching there.

Sunoo’s eyes were wide open when he saw that it wasn't a fair fight at all. He could see that there were three people attacking the same person, he was alone. Sunoo could see that the boy was almost struggling after one of the attackers hit him on the back with a wooden stick.

That was it. Sunoo couldn’t handle it anymore. He ran into them and shouted. “TEACHERS! SOMEONES ARE FIGHTING HERE!”

The four of them looked at him at the same time. Hell the boy who was fighting alone had bruises all over his face. Sunoo could recognize all of them except him. The attackers were some delinquents from his year.

“Don’t mind him, he couldn’t do anything.” One of the second year students told his friend and started to punch the boy again. But his friend stopped him.

“Shit that’s Jaeha’s bitch, we can get problem if he gets hurt, let’s go.”

Sunoo could hear that very clearly, too clearly. Jaeha’s what? “Who do you call-” Sunoo shouted before he ran forward to them and threw his bag to the second year students who just called him names.

That caught them in surprise. The hell???

“I’m not his- whatever you just said! You stupid jerk!” Sunoo wasn’t done. He picked his bag and hit it repeatedly on him. He even managed to kick his shin. Maybe Sunoo could join the taekwondo club at this point.

“Fuck! What are you doing?!” The boy Sunoo had hit screamed when Sunoo kicked him once again.

“Shit, let’s just go! He is crazy!” One of them dragged his friends and ran away.

“I’m not crazy you jerk!” Sunoo shouted once again. His breath was unsteady, he was sure he could just faint here right now. He could sense a headache was coming.

Sunoo turned his gaze toward the unknown boy he had just ‘saved’. Well, it counted right? The delinquents were gone after all. “Hey, are you- you okay?” Sunoo asked the boy breathlessly. He couldn’t read the boy’s name tag, his view was hazy. 

The last thing Sunoo remembered was blood dripped from his nose and an unfamiliar face fading into darkness.

* * *

Sunoo spent a full week at home after the incident. His parents had picked him up right away after they heard that Sunoo had a bloody nose and fainted on his first day. Maybe it was too much for him to run around the school kicking bad people for his first day agenda.

Sunoo laid on his bed. His parents said he could go to school tomorrow after his doctor gave him an okay. Partly because Sunoo begged on the back.

He missed his friends already and he just couldn’t wait to find the boy who Sunoo guessed helped him after he fainted. It must be traumatic for the nameless boy, Sunoo was screaming and kicking people for one minute and fainted with a bloody nose in another one. Thinking about that just gave Sunoo a great embarrassment to last for a year.

He wasn’t like himself, he didn’t even know he got that much strength! Maybe he really wasn’t, knowing that he left unconscious for hours after that. He had woken up in the hospital room. His parents were on his side with their worried expression along with his friends who lost color on their face. 

Why were they making that face, it’s not like he was dying, is he? Sunoo had thought.

Sunoo turned around on his bed, his own, finally. He couldn’t wait, tomorrow he could meet his friends once again.

* * *

“So you’re going to have a single dorm?” Jake asked Sunoo while munching his lunch.

Sunoo’s ‘first day’ was great so far. His classmates asked him how he was doing, and gave him some encouragement, some people even offered to lend their notes for him. Sunoo was behind for weeks after all, he was so grateful that his classmates were nice and kind enough to help him to adjust.

“Hum, isn’t it great?” Sunoo took a bit of his sandwich. 

“Yeah it’s great, we can hang out there without bothering your roommate.” Jay said this time.

“Who said I’ll let you guys into my room?” Sunoo said to them. They started bickering like always.

“Hey Sunoo, at first I thought that a single room was great for you, but you know? What if, one day you fainted on your own, and no one was there to help you?” Sunghoon asked him suddenly.

“That’s scary! Why did you say that!” Jay instinctively held Sunoo in his arms.

“I said, what if!” Sunghoon defended himself.

“Well he’s right. What do you think, Sunoo?” Jake asked him this time.

Sunoo had thought about that matter before. The reason why he asked his parents to register him in a single dorm was that he didn’t want to be a burden for his room mate. They got their own responsibility as students, why included Sunoo on them?

“I just need to take care of myself well and the case closed.” Sunoo said cheerfully.

“We’re in the same building, we can visit each other anytime.” Sunghoon reassured him.

“I love you guys.” Sunoo said, throwing them with mini hearts he made with his fingers.

They laughed at that. Sunoo’s ‘first day’ was great so far.

“What about me? Don’t you love me too Sunoo?”

And here the trouble came.

Jaeha sat on the table, right in front of Sunoo’s face. God, Sunoo hoped he could at least erase that disgusting smirk out of Jaeha’s face.

Jaeha had been bugging him since Sunoo’s first year. He asked Sunoo to date him multiple times, and Sunoo had rejected each one. 

Sunoo wasn’t blind. He realized that his face was what people loved about him, maybe partly his personality? He didn’t dare to say it out loud, some people prefer rain over sunshine after all.

His friends shared the same experience. Just this morning, Sunghoon got a love letter on his locker, Sunoo could see that the girl who put it was hiding in the corner. Sunoo felt sorry for her, her crush only had eyes for the boy who was playing with his phone all day long. Jake was obsessed with this game lately.

Jake was no different. Sunoo was sure that everyone in his literature club had a crush on him at least. No one could blame him tho, Jake had that ability that drew people in when he was talking.

And for Jay, he was a school playboy. Sunoo’s frown got deeper when he saw Jay give a smile to a first student boy who just passed by. Well that was enough to explain.

Sunoo looked up to Jaeha who was still checking him out from head to toe. Sunoo felt disgusted.

The voice was still ringing on his head. The way that second year jerk had called him. 

“Do you have something to tell me pretty?” Jaeha’s face came closer to Sunoo’s.

Sunoo could see that his friends were visibly tense. It was Jay who decided to step in.

Jay let out a forced laugh, and said “Oh Sunbaenim, Sunoo was sick all week and he got suffocated easily, please don’t come too close haha.” Jay gently tucked Sunoo’s arm and pulled him to his side more.

“Don’t give me that bullshit Jay, I saw you hug him before.” Jaeha forcefully pulled Sunoo back.

“Ah!” Jaeha’s hold was too rough, Sunoo was flincing from the pain.

Suddenly a hand came from behind Sunoo and removed Jaeha’s hand from his arm. Sunoo turned around to find that it was Heesung. “Leave him alone.” Heesung said to Jaeha, he threw Jaeha’s hand harshly.

Heesung was a third year student, just like Jaeha. He was Sunoo’s close friend as well. He always ranked first on everything, he was the student council president. No one dared to mess with Heeseung, not even Jaeha.

If someone asked, who would win between them if they had a fight, Heeseung would win the vote in no time. Luckily Heesung was a pacifist, it was a rare thing to see him lose temper.

Even in this situation, smile still remained on his face, as if he didn’t just ask Jaeha to fuck off.

The air in the cafeteria was suffocating. People stopped eating or doing anything. Jaeha and Heeseung just looked at each other, didn’t say anything. Heesung's hand was placed on Sunoo’s shoulder all the time. Gave him some sense of comfort.

Jaeha glanced at Heeseung’s hand on Sunoo’s shoulder, the way it gave Sunoo some comforting touch. 

tsk

Jaeha finally left them alone, the air in the cafeteria came back to normal once again. People minded their own business again.

“Heeseung Hyung!” Sunoo turned around and pulled Heeseung to sit beside him. “I miss you so much!” He hugged the elder. 

Heesung returned Sunoo’s hug, and gave him a few rubs on the back. “I miss you too, I’m so sorry I couldn’t visit you, I was busy, I’m busy.” They parted.

Sunoo knew that his hyung was busy, he got so much responsibility.”Please take care of yourself, what if you get sick?” Sunoo rested his head on Heeseung's shoulder.

“Say someone who fainted at their first day of school.” The people on that table laughed. Sunoo was embarrassed, he playfully hit Heeseung’s arm. “And I actually visited you when you were in the nurse room, but you passed out, and I couldn’t stay for too long.”

Well that explained the blanket, he remembered that he felt too hot for a blanket, and just decided not to wear one, but he woke up with a blanket and open window.

They had some conversation with Heeseung before the boy needed to leave for some unfinished business in the council room.

“You know, I’ll run for student council president.” Jay had told them suddenly after Heeseung left.

“Leave your competitive ass somewhere else Jay.” Jake said he was done with his game, finally.

“Why?! I bet I could do the job as good as Heeseungie Hyung!” Just another bickering.

Jay was indeed a good leader, he even led his dance team to victory multiple times in competitions. But it was just so fun to tease him sometimes.

Sunoo was grateful that he got these amazing people as his friends. Sunoo was turning his gaze around the cafeteria when he saw a pair of familiar eyes looking at him from afar.

* * *

Niki saw all of that. The way Jaeha harshly held the pale boy’s arm, the way he almost had a fight with the student council president in the cafeteria. The way Sunoo’s eyes landed on him when he was staring.

Niki was stunned, those foxy eyes had something on them. Something that made Niki’s heart skip a beat.

‘Who is he?’

  
  


to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for reading, let me know about your thoughts! You can find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe. Have a nice day!
> 
> ps. Our baby Taki is fine, don't kill me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t expect to find a safe place in the form of someone, and he didn’t know that person would be Sunoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the tags as the story goes.

Jaeha wasn’t kidding when he said Niki wouldn’t see the end of it.

The day after their fight, Niki was pulled by some people on his way back to the dorm. The day was still bright, didn’t these people know that fighting on the school ground was prohibited?

There were three people. Jaeha had sent them to ‘teach’ Niki something. Honestly Niki was still tired from the fight last night. But then again, these people wouldn’t talk without using their fist.

Niki knew how to fight. Hell, he learned martial arts when he was young, he was good at it. Maybe he needed to thank his dad.

Niki avoided the kick one of Jaeha’s minion had sent him, Niki managed to tackled him. Niki could see the other person was about to land a punch on his stomach, Niki tried to avoid that one as well, but he was unlucky, the last person hit him with something hard on the back. Niki stubbled down on the ground, it hurts like hell. He was about to stand up once again when he hear-

“TEACHERS! SOMEONES ARE FIGHTING HERE!”

Everything happened too fast. The boy who just shouted marched up to them and threw his bag toward Jaeha’s minion who just called him something Niki couldn’t really hear, his ears were ringing, did someone hit his head on the fight? 

Niki looked up at the boy, he was kicking Jaeha’s minion while screaming. “I’m not crazy you jerk!” The boy shouted for the last time before turning his head toward Niki. Niki was struggling to stand up.

Niki could clearly see that the boy was struggling as well, his legs were wobbly, he asked Niki something before blood dripped from his nose, and the boy was about to fall unconscious on the ground.

Niki was fast enough, the boy’s head landed on his arm instead of the hard concentrate floor. Niki was panicked, he forgot about his own throbbing shoulder.

He held the boy close. His face was too pale, almost no color left there. “Hey, wake up.” Niki talked to the void, no one answered him.

“H-hey-” Niki tapped the boy’s cheek gently, wishing for him to finally open those eyes. Blood still dripped from his nose. “Please.”

Niki placed his ear on the other’s chest. 

1

2

3

Niki breathed out a sigh of relief, he still could hear the boy’s heartbeat.

‘Shit.’ It started to rain so suddenly, it was pouring. Niki took off his jacket and covered the boy with it, he was super pale, that Niki scared, and his bloody nose, it was too much, could people die because of a bloody nose?

Niki picked up the boy’s body with his arm, his shoulder burned with pain. He tried to walk as fast as he could, he wanted to run, but the risk of tripping on the rain and hurting the boy on his hold terrified him the most.

Niki adjusted the boy’s weight when he reached the main building. It was dark outside because of the rain, light barely made it inside, please let at least one adult be there.

Maybe God finally decided to listen to him once again after a long time. The school nurse was about to lock her room, when he saw two drenched boys on the hallway, and one of them was unconscious.

“Oh my God!” The school nurse ran to them, her face filled with worry. “What happened? Oh my- Sunoo!”

The school nurse opened the nurse room’s door quickly. “Put him there.” She said to Niki, she put on her stethoscope, when she was doing her job, Niki was left standing there. Niki was stunned at the blood on his white shirt, it was a lot.

“Uh, is he going to be okay?” Niki asked her.

“I don’t know, he had a bloody nose and rested here all day, but it looked like he was still sick.” She cleaned the dried blood on the boy- Sunoo’s face.

Niki could see how pale Sunoo was, the nurse took her phone and called an ambulance. She seemed to call other people as well.

Niki took that chance to leave. He threw Sunoo one last gaze before closing the door behind him.

On his way out of the main building, he was bumped by someone who was running, he had a panicked expression. He didn’t even say sorry.

Two boys followed behind him, one of them stopped and said something to Niki, “Please forgive him, we’re in a hurry.” and left as well. “Jay! Careful!” He called the person who bumped into Niki before.

They headed to the nurse room.

Niki left the main building to pick his bag that he left under the rain. He noticed another bag drenched on the ground, it was Sunoo’s. Niki picked it up as well. He walked back to the nurse room, but it was empty and locked. Maybe they left already, Niki left the bag in front of the room.

* * *

Since that day, Niki never saw Sunoo again. 

And Niki didn’t have time to think about that boy with pale face and foxy eyes. He was busy surviving this hell called life.

Jaehaa sent his minions almost everyday to harass Niki, it happened every time, everywhere, he even fighted on the bathroom twice. Niki’s body was like a canvas decorated with black and blue bruises.

He was alone without a boy with a pair of beautiful orbs to scare them away.

Jungwon and Daniel looked like they could die because of worry. Daniel kept saying sorry, he thought all of this happened because Niki had helped him.

Jungwon helped him to put on ointment on his scars. Jungwon even cried once.

Niki didn’t want them to get into trouble, he asked them to keep a distance from him in school. But Jungwon and Daniel were just as stubborn as himself. They refused to leave him alone. 

It took a full week for Jaeha to finally leave him alone. 

Niki was grateful that at least all of that ended. He wished it had ended. Seemed like Jaehaa was busy with something else.

He was busy with someone else.

Finally Niki could see Sunoo again.

Niki could see them clearly from where he sat in the cafeteria. Jaehaa was talking with Sunoo, he sat on the table where Sunoo and his friend ate. 

He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but the atmosphere in the cafeteria wasn’t good. It got worse after the student council president stepped in.

When everything had ended. Sunoo caught him staring. Niki didn’t waver. It was Sunoo who broke the stare.

Somehow, Niki couldn’t stop looking at those foxy eyes.

‘Who is he?’

“Huh? Who?” Niki startled, since when did Jungwon sit on his side? And Daniel? He was eating his food on the other side of their table. “Who?” Jungwon repeated his question.

Niki didn’t know that he voiced it out loud.

Jungwon turned his gaze toward the direction Niki had previously looked at. Suddenly he made an ‘O’ face. “Ohh, he is Kim Sunoo, 2nd year, really popular, he was on three months leave because of his health, just discharged from hospital a week ago only to go back there the day after, and it seemed like he is fine enough to come to school today.”

Niki was amazed, Jungwon was like Kim Sunoo enciclopedia.

“How did you know that?” He asked Jungwon.

Jungwon looked at Daniel who was munching an apple. “Him.”

Daniel looked up at the mention of him. “What?”

“Niki just asked me how I knew a lot about Kim Sunoo.”

“Ahh, I’m part of the dance club, and our president won’t shut up about him.” Daniel finished the last bite of his apple after that.

“We have a dance club?” Niki asked them.

“You don’t know? Wait, do you have a club?” Jungwon asked him.

Niki just shook his head. He was barely surviving for his dear life here, he didn’t have any time for after school activities. Could fighting bullies be called after school activities?

It wasn’t mandatory for students to be in any club, it was kinda just like a hobby, you could choose if you wanted to do it or not.

Niki always loved dancing. He loved the way his body followed every beat. He loved performing. But these past few months’ events had nothing but destroying his self esteem. Could he stand in front of people once again?

Niki wasn’t sure. But something bugged him. Something that got to do with what Daniel just told him. “Are they together?”

“What?” Daniel couldn’t really catch that, Niki’s voice was only above whisper.

“Are they together? Kim Sunoo and your dance club president.”

Jungwon and Daniel looked at him with such confused faces. “Why do you ask?”

Honestly? Niki didn’t know as well, he didn’t know anything about Kim Sunoo, he wasn’t sure what made Niki keep questioning. “I don’t know, so?”

They were still visibly bewildered. But Daniel answered him, “As far as I know, no, they aren’t together. They are just really close friends.”

“And Jay Sunbae loves playing. You guys need to make sure not to get too close to him, especially you Daniel!” Jungwon added. He was afraid that his best friends would get their heart broken by some play boys.

“Why? Why me?” Daniel threw him a question to Jungwon.

“You guys are in the same club and the chances that something may happen are high!” Jungwon pointed at Daniel. “Oh my God, I really hate someone like him.”

“Don’t hate him too much, who knows you may fall for him one day.” Daniel jokingly said. But Jungwon’s face seemed displeased.

“Please don’t.” Jungwon made a gesture of praying. Daniel laughed at him.

Niki just quietly listened to them, he somehow felt grateful for Daniel’s answer. But why? Why did he need to be relieved like this?

Niki looked up once again, his gaze following every move of that boy. Sunoo was listening attentively to whatever his friends were telling. It looked interesting, Niki could see Sunoo made a lot of expressions to show the reaction to his friend’s story.

Niki could stay here and look at him all day.

But it was kinda creepy.

* * *

Sunoo was walking with his friends, they just finished their music class. They were on their way to the classroom. Something was on Sunoo’s mind since lunch.

It was nothing special. Just someone stared at him from afar. Someone he didn’t know that somehow felt familiar. He never met a stranger that looked so familiar before. Or maybe he wasn’t a stranger at all.

Something flashed on his mind. “Wait.” 

His friends stopped and looked at him. “What is it Sunoo?” Sunghoon asked.

They are right in front of their class.

“You guys know the boy’s name who helped me that day?” Sunoo opened the door and walked toward his desk. His friend followed after.

“Who?” Jay asked him.

“You didn’t see him?” Sunoo looked at his friend with confusion. “I think we have the same high or something, he wears a black jacket.” Sunoo tried to describe the boy as best as his foggy mind could remember.

“We saw no one like him. There were only you and the school nurse.” Sunghoon told him.

What? How?! Did he magically crawl to the main building on his own or something?

“Ah but the nurse said someone left your bag outside the room and told me to take it.” Jay sat in the seat next to Sunoo. “It’s still in my room, I’ll bring it to your’s later.”

Sunoo thanked him. “She didn’t tell you who left it there?” Jay shook his head.

“But Sunoo, you never tell us about what happened that day.” Jake, who had been quiet, finally opened his mouth.

“Yeah, we just left you and suddenly the school nurse called asking for your parents number, and when we arrived, you were lying unconscious with blood all over your clothes. Don’t you know how terrified we were?”

They were still gathered around Sunoo’s desk. The teachers seemed to be late today. Their faces filled with concern this time.

“I fighted a bunch of thugs.” Okay, maybe Sunoo made it sound too dramatic.

His friends were quiet. It was like a calm before the storm came. 

“Excuse me?” Jake was the first one to respon, “Did you just say that you fight some thugs?” Jake pointed at Sunoo. Sunoo just nodded.

“What the hell Sunoo???” This time Jay looked like he lost his mind. “Are you losing your mind??” No Jay, it’s you.

“Sunoo, are you sure, you're not hallucinating? Maybe it’s the new medicines?” Sunghoon looked at him with disbelief.

Sunoo rolled his eyes at them. These guys were something. Sunoo told them the full story.

“He called you what?!” Jay stood up, his face full of rage.

“Jay calm down. Look! You’re this mad just by listening to the story, how do you think I felt that time?” 

“Okay, what happens after that?” Jake was too curious about it.

“I was mad, and I’m not thinking straight-”

“Nothing about you is straight Sunoo.” Jay suddenly said.

“Well that’s right but still, screw you Jay, anyway I threw my bag to him-” Sunoo was about to continue when Jay cut him once again.

“Wait, your bag? That bag is so fucking heavy!” Jay wondered what Sunoo put on his bag to be that heavy when he got it from the school nurse. “What's inside it anyway?”

“English dictionary Jake bought me.”

“You’re kidding right? That shit is almost 10cm thick.” Jake couldn’t imagine the pain that the monstrous dictionary brought to Sunoo’s victim.

“Guys I think we’re distracted here.” Sunghoon interrupted them. “How did you end up fainting Sunoo?”

Sunoo looked up at Sunghoon. “I was hitting and kicking them while screaming, guess that took too much energy, suddenly I got this massive headache, and boom the rest is history.” 

“What about the boy that they were attacking?” Jay asked.

“I don’t know? That’s why I asked you about him.”

Jay tried hard to remember, but he got nothing. When suddenly-

“Wait, I saw someone that day.” Jake said to them. “Jay! You bumped into him, and you didn’t even say sorry, Sunghoon did that for you.”

“But that boy didn’t wear a jacket. But yeah, he looked messed up.” Sunghoon was sure.

“Did you see his nametag?” Sunoo wanted to know his name. But Sunghoon shook his head.

“But he is unfamiliar, maybe a first year or something.”

“What should I do to find him?” Sunoo muttered to himself.

“Why would you want to find him?” Jake sat on Sunoo’s desk. 

“I want to thank him of course, that’s a stupid question Jake.”

“Is he handsome?” Jay asked him.

“I think he is- wait, why do you ask me this?”

Jay laughed at him, Sunoo could see Sunghoon and Jake giggled as well.

“Well at least we know the real reason you want to find him.” Sunghoon said between giggles.

“Excuse you, I’m not him.” He pointed at Jay who looked offended.

“Why-”

“The teacher is here!” Their classmate shouted. Jay, Sunghoon and Jake quickly sat on their own desk. Leaving Sunoo with his overthinking head.

Why did he feel this desperate to find that boy? Sunoo wasn’t sure that the boy who stared at him in the cafeteria was the same person who helped him.

But part of him wanted to believe that they are the same.

Sunoo wanted to see him again, he wanted to ask if his injury was healed, and why the hell those delinquents attacked him like that.

Is he a bad person as well?

No, Sunoo didn’t think he was. Even if he ended up being one, at least he was human enough not to leave Sunoo dying alone bleeding on the ground.

* * *

Few days later.

Sunoo’s parents just sent him the rest of his things. Sunoo’s dorm felt more like home now at least. 

He was getting his clothes from the suitcase when he noticed something that he didn’t own. “What the-”

Sunoo unfolded the cloth, and held it in front of his face. It was a jacket, a really basic black jacket. It wasn’t his style. He loved bright pastel color, and this piece of cloth looked too gloomy for his aesthetic. 

But strangely this jacket reminded him of a particular boy with bruised lips. It’s his.

The boy must have lent it to him when he was unconscious.

Sunoo held the jacket close, he basically buried his nose into it, he inhaled deeply, trying to find any smell of unfamiliarity. The remaining of the boy’s odor wasn’t there anymore. He could only smell the fabric softener his house maid always used for his clothes.

‘Wait-’

Sunoo quickly held the jacket far from him. What was he doing?!

His face was really hot, and it’s not feverish. He quickly folded the jacket again and just shoved it back into the suitcase.

Kim Sunoo just acted like a boy in love. And he was so damn embarrassed about that.

* * *

He must have really lost his mind. Sunoo stood in front of the mirror in his room. It was near 8 AM and his class would start in 15 minutes. But here he was, stood still looking at his reflection on the mirror.

This morning he got a crazy idea. What if he wear the black jacket to the school, maybe the owner would notice it and asked Sunoo for a date-

Sunoo quickly dispersed that crazy thought. Kim Sunoo had finally gone mad.

But honestly? He looked pretty good on it. The jacket was slightly bigger than him, and the sleeves long enough too covered his hands.

He felt like he was wearing his boyfriend-

“Argh!” Sunoo screamed. 

He didn’t even remember the boy’s face properly! He didn’t know his name! He didn’t know anything about him.

Sunoo’s heart just loved playing with him.

Sunoo said screw it and took his bag and walked out of his room. He would prove to himself that wearing this jacket wouldn’t give him so much impact and he wouldn’t feel anything. It was only some guys’ clothes for God’s sake!

He wore his friends clothes all the time. Why would he need to feel different this time?

It was nothing, it had no meaning.

* * *

“Aren’t you tired?” Sunoo said to his annoying friends. He could see Jay and Sunghoon visibly trying to suppress their smiles.

“We are not doing anything!” Jake this time.

“Arghhh” Sunoo hid his face with his hands, his jacket’s sleeves covered hands. His friend did nothing but teased him all day. They somehow recognized that the jacket Sunoo was wearing wasn’t his, and they had forced him to tell them whose jacket it was.

They actually did that all day, since the first time Sunoo stepped into their classroom today, until now, on their way home. Not really, they would be going to their dance practice, and Sunoo would be going home alone, again.

“Just leave already!” Sunoo told them off.

They just laughed and stepped away, but-

“Shit.” Sunghoon cursed under his breath. “I think I left my tab on the desk.” Seunghoon turned back, he was about to sprint into his class. “Let me just get it real quick-”

But Jay was faster. “No, take it after practice, we’re running late.”

Jay was in strict leader mode. He barely gave mercy to his teammates when the competition was near like this. He grabbed Sunghoon’s collar from behind and dragged him away. “What if someone steals it!”

It was Sunoo’s turn to laugh, his friend’s hopeless look was funny. Jay had make Jake helped him dragged Sunghoon’s struggling limps.

“Sunoo! I trust you! Save my tablet for me!” Sunoo stopped laughing.

“Get it yourself!” Sunoo shouted back. He could see his friends anymore, but he could hear Sunghoon’s crying from the club building.

Sunoo laughed once again and murmured, ‘You’re lucky I love you.’

Sunoo walked back into his class building. There was barely anyone. Only a few people who got their own business done.

Sunoo found Sunghoon’s tab on his desk, his class was empty already. Sunoo put the device on his bag, he walked into the hallway, he caught someone’s shadow when he turned around.

The shadow was familiar to him.

‘huh?’

* * *

  
  


Niki tried his best not to fall on the floor. His legs h were shaking, and suddenly his back lost its strength. Niki pressed his back hard on the wall, trying to gain some support.

It had been days since the last time Jaehaa messed with him, Niki thought that his wounds would slowly heal. But no, it was only getting worse. 

His shoulder was throbbing with pain, and his eyes could only see vague images. His body was covered with sweat.

He had decided to stay longer in class today. He has been feeling unwell since yesterday. He thought a little nap on his desk could do him some good before he had to walk back to the dorm. But he woke up with a headache instead.

Niki’s legs gave up already, he fell on the floor with a heavy thud.

“Hey are you okay?” Niki swore that felt familiar. Like someone had asked him the same question.

Niki tried his hardest to open his eyes, he met with a familiar looking face. “Heeseung Sunbae?”

Heeseung put his hand on Niki’s head “Wow buddy, you’re burning!” Heeseung put his arm around Niki’s middle, he helped Niki to stand. “What’s your name? Year?” Heeseung was asking him while helping him to walk.

“Niki, first year.” Niki said in a low voice. His head was hurt alot.

Heeseung walked them into the nurse room, but it was locked, and it seemed no one was inside. “I’m sorry Niki, please wait for a bit.”

Niki didn’t have any strength to answer. Heeseung sat him on the floor, it was cold. Heeseung looked for something in his bag, “Thank God.”

It was a set of keys.

Heeseung was on his way back from the student council room. He was surprised to find someone sitting in the hallway. He looked sick and hurt.

He was about to lose hope when the nurse room was empty and locked, but luckily he remembered the spare keys he had borrowed from the teacher the day before.

Heeseung quickly unlocked the door. And helped Niki to stand up once again. He helped Niki to get on the bed. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy.” Niki glanced at Heeseung from the corner of his eyes. They never talked before, Niki only saw him on a few occasions, standing as school president, or in the hallways passing by.

And among those times, the time Heeseung helped Sunoo escape from Jaehaa was the most memorable one. He didn’t know that Heeseung could be that intimidating while throwing a smile.

“What to do- what to do.” Heeseung walked around the room. He didn’t know anything about medicines and the only time he visited the nurse room was to see his sick friend.

Heeseung walked out the room to find someone, he was about to call the school nurse on his phone when he heard someone called his name.

“Heeseungie Hyung?”

Heeseung felt so relieved to see Sunoo on the end of the hallway. “What are you doing here Hyung?” Sunoo asked him.

“Oh Sunoo, thank God. You’re good with meds aren’t you?” Heeseung walked to Sunoo and dragged him.

“Uh? Kinda? I mean I live on meds everyday.” Well that sounded kinda sad.

“Are you familiar with nurse room’s medicine?”

“I think I know that place by heart already.” Sunoo was confused, his Hyung look belwireded as well, what the hell was happening? “Hyung what’s wrong?”

Heeseung opened the nurse room’s door and let Sunoo and himself in. “Him.”

Sunoo’s eyes opened wide. Someone was lying on the bed, drenched in sweat. “Oh my God.”

He came close to the boy, he seemed to be fighting his own consciousness. Sunoo touched his forehead. He had fevers.

The boy said something. But it was too low for Sunoo to hear him “What?”

Sunoo moved his head closer. 

“Plea- please” The boy said.

The voice in the back of Sunoo’s head was screaming at him. It was like a broken record of a movie scene. Sunoo didn’t get it.

_‘Hey, wake up.’ ‘Please.’_

“What did he say?” Heeseung tapped his shoulder, bringing him back to reality.

“Huh? Uh, water, he wants water.” Sunoo said.

“Okay, you wait here, I’ll get water.” Heeseung sprint outside in a flash.

People thought Heeseung was an ace, he could do anything and be good at it. He was a prodigy, a genius or something. 

But for Sunoo, he was dumb. His Hyung lost the ability to think straight when he faced something he didn’t usually face. Just like this.

Sunoo walked to the water dispenser and brought a glass back to the boy. He then took painkillers the school nurse used to give him when he had fevers. Sunoo put the glass and the medicine on the table and helped him to sit.

“Have you had lunch yet?” Sunoo asked him. The boy could only nod.

Sunoo helped the boy to drink, he held the glass for him and placed it on the boy’s mouth. “Slowly, slowly.” He then handed the painkillers. The boy popped it into his mouth and drank some more.

At least the boy looked a bit better after drinking some liquid. Sunoo helped him to lay in bed again. He could see how wet the boy’s shirt was. Sunoo read the nametag on it. ‘Niki’

“Hey Niki, I’ll get you something to change.” Sunoo told him. Sunoo didn’t get any answer. It seemed that Niki had already passed out.

Sunoo opened the closet on the side. He pulled out a clean white shirt. He brought it to Niki.

He was fast asleep. Sunoo could see his chest up and down slowly. Nothing better than a good rest.

Sunoo hesitated at first, but he thought what he was about to do was for Niki’s sake anyway. “Niki, excuse me.”

Sunoo slowly undid Niki’s button. There was no reaction, good, Sunoo continued until the last button on Niki’s shirt. When he was done, Sunoo was frightened with the view in front of him.

“Sunoo! Here’s water!” Heeseung stood on the door breathlessly, he had bottled waters on his arms. “Sunoo? What’s-” He put the waters on the table and walked to the younger. “…” Heeseung swallowed back his word.

“Hyung…” Sunoo turned to him, he had tears in his eyes. His friend looked terrified. Heeseung pulled Sunoo into a hug. Sunoo buried himself on his shoulders. Heeseung gave Sunoo some comforted rub on his back.

In front of them, Niki was lying unconscious. His bare chest was going up and down in a steady rhythm.

Everything looked fine at first, until you noticed the scratch and wound on them. There were no untouched places on Niki’s body. All decorated with cuts and bruises.

It looked so painful. 

Heeseung took a deep breath, he needed to stay sane in this situation. He could feel Sunoo had stopped crying and lifted his head. 

“Hyung, should we call someone?”

“Let’s wait for him to wake up, we can ask him what happened first.” Heeseung gave Sunoo one last rub before letting him go.

Heeseung’s gaze fell on the shirt on the table. “Let’s change his shirt first.”

Heeseung was about to take the shirt, “No.” Heeseung was confused with Sunoo.

“Let me clean his wounds first.”

* * *

Heeseung had helped Sunoo to completely take off Niki’s shirt. They discovered more bruises on Niki’s back and arms. Sunoo tried to hold his tears while wiping Niki’s body with wet washcloth, trying to remove any dirts before applying the ointment.

Sunoo could see Niki flinching in his sleep. “I’m sorry, please bear with it.” Sunoo continued to put on the ointment on Niki’s bruises. He treated Niki’s other injuries as well.

“Good job Sunoo.” Heesung squeezed his shoulder.

Sunoo looked at his work. He had bandaged some of Niki’s wounds on his arms, it wasn’t perfect, at least it was decent enough.

They had changed Niki into a clean shirt. Sunoo buttoned the shirt one by one. 

“Heeseung Hyung.”

“Hm?” Heeseung looked up from his phone. “What is it Sunoo?” His phone had been ringing nonstop. Sunoo knew his Hyung was a busy person. But not this busy.

“You can go.”

Heeseung simply shook his head. “It’s okay, I can work from here, look!” He showed his phone’s screen, Sunoo could see a series of angry emojis Heeseung’s friend had sent him. “Beside, I can’t just leave you alone here. It’s getting dark.”

Heeseung was right, it was 5 PM already, the sun nearly set, and the light had started to replace the sun.

“It’s okay Hyung, I can call my friend to come here.” Sunoo turned his head to Niki who was still sleeping. “And I’m not alone at all.” He smiled at Heeseung, persuading him.

Heeseung seemed contemplating. His phone rang once again. Heeseung let out a sigh. 

“Make sure to tell me if anything happens okay? Call me when he wakes up.” Heeseung took his bag and ruffled Sunoo’s hair before he left.

Sunoo got up after Heeseung left, he took a washcloth to wipe Niki’s forehead. He was sweating so much.

He then grabbed another one and ran it under water in the wastafel. Sunoo squeezed the washcloth before bringing it to Niki and placed it on his forehead.

Sunoo was relieved to see some colors were slowly coming back to Niki.

‘Hey, wake up.’ ‘Please.’

* * *

Niki woke up from his nap. His head was still slightly pounding but it was bearable. Niki opened his eyes. The room was dark, he needed minutes to adjust with it.

Niki almost jumped out of the bed when he noticed a pair of foxy eyes stared at him. He tried to swallow his saliva but his throat was too dry, he ended up coughing.

Sunoo helped him to sit and gave him a glass of water. “Thank-” Niki noticed brand new bandages on his arms. How long did he pass out?

Niki looked up at the clock, 7 PM. He looked at the glass window, it was dark outside.

Niki felt a hand on his, guiding the glass to his mouth. Sunoo was silent when helping him to drink. Sunoo even took the glass and refilled it with water.

“Drink.” Sunoo told him shortly. Niki took the glass and drank it by himself this time. 

He saw Sunoo smiling. It got him choked on water.

The water spilled everywhere.

“What the-” Sunoo patted Niki’s back slowly. Niki felt tensed all over his body. Sunoo pulled his hand from Niki’s back and Niki missed it already.

Niki, what the hell.

Sunoo walked off to get another cup of water for him. “Drink it slowly, okay?” Niki just nodded and brought the glass to his mouth.

Sunoo turned around to grab some towel to dry Niki’s mess. It was when Niki recognized the jacket Sunoo was wearing as his, he started to choke again.

“Why are you like this Niki???” Sunoo took the glass from him and patted his back again. Sunoo didn’t get him new glass again. Instead, he wiped Niki’s shirt with a clean towel.

Niki was sure he was dreaming at this point. 

“Uh, how did you know my name?” Niki asked Sunoo.

Out of hundreds of questions on his mind, Niki chose the dumbest one, judging from Sunoo’s expression.

Sunoo sat on the bed Niki was on. “It’s yours isn’t it?” Instead of answering Niki’s question, Suno threw him another one.

Niki nodded.

“Thank you for helping me that day.” Niki swore, Sunoo’s smile was the most beautiful smile he ever saw. It shined so bright in this dim room.

“You saved me as well.” Niki had meant to tell Sunoo this, he dreamed of meeting the elder at least once again, to thank him. “Thanks.”

If Niki thought that Sunoo’s smile couldn’t get any brighter, well he was so damn wrong.

“Both of us knew that I didn’t really do that.” Sunoo was playing with his jacket, Niki’s. “Hey Niki.”

Never once Niki’s gaze left him. “Does it hurt?”

Sunoo must be talking about his bruises. “Not really.” It hurted as hell.

“You need to go to see a doctor, at least let the school nurse look at your wounds. She may not be here all the time, but she’s really good at her job! Well at least way better than me.” Sunoo looked at the bandages on Niki’s arm sheepishly. It looked kinda shabby now.

“Okay.” Niki thought that no one would be able to say no to that face. He fell too deep in such a short time.

They were an opposite of each other. When Niki was barely noticeable, Sunoo was the center of attention wherever he went. People hardly paid attention to Niki, and when they did, it was a nightmare. Those stares, whisperings, and scared faces.

Sunoo’s hands were delicate, he could feel the softness when Sunoo touched him before. Niki looked at his own hands, rough and scraped.

These past few days suddenly Sunoo was everywhere. Niki saw him on the hallway laughing with his friends, in a packed cafeteria or under the sky looking ethereal.

Niki’s focus distorted every time the elder present.

Sunoo seemed to have something on his mind. 

‘Just say it.’

Niki was ready to answer it all. But Sunoo remained silent. He was unsure.

After minutes, finally Niki heard a word from him. “Why?”

Niki didn’t know, he wanted to answer Sunoo’s question, but he just didn’t know. Why? Maybe because he deserved it? Niki even had no idea what Sunoo actually meant to ask.

* * *

Sunoo looked at the boy in front of him, Niki. He didn’t know him. It was easy for others to think that Niki wasn’t a good man. With that much wounds and the fact that Sunoo saw it himself how Niki fought on the school ground.

He was no amateur.

But Sunoo wasn’t other people.

The moment Sunoo heard Niki mumbling the word of plea in his sleep, he knew he was right.

Niki was him, the boy who he didn’t know how but managed to bring Sunoo savely to the main building. Sunoo had asked the school nurse the day before. She said a boy brought him here by hand, the boy looked messed up just like Sunghoon had said.

Sunoo was sure, he saw he got hit on his back and shoulder, it must have hurt as hell to carry him and not to mention it was raining.

After Sunoo asked him, Niki just sat silent. The boy looked lost. Sunoo almost felt bad. Was it something so hard to answer?

Sunoo reached out to hold Niki’s hand. Niki looked at him stunned. “It’s okay if you can’t answer it. Let me ask you something else.”

Sunoo looked at him with a soft gaze.

“Niki, are you okay?” He sounded really genuine that it scared Niki. What if Sunoo really was care? What if those aren’t some polite exchanges?

Niki wanted to say that he was okay, his usual answer to that question. But somehow his voice refused to come out.

Before Niki realised it, tears streamed down his eyes. He cried.

Niki knew it had been a while since the last time he really was okay.

That startled Sunoo who immediately stood up and embraced him. Sunoo put his head on top of Niki’s, holding him close. 

Sunoo just didn’t walk around cuddling with some stranger. But something about this boy just appeared so broken to him.

Sunoo ran his hand through Niki’s hair, telling him everything would be okay without voicing it.

Niki didn’t cry easily, he couldn’t even remember the last time he cried. He didn’t even shed a tear for Taki.

Taki had told him once, Niki needed to be strong to survive this place. Niki wanted to be strong for Taki, for himself.

He didn’t realize he had only played an act all this time. The wall he built to hide himself crumbled all at once just by a simple ‘are you okay?’ by the boy who was holding him.

Niki teared quietly, he closed his eyes. He could hear the steady heartbeat of Sunoo. Niki decided that it was the most calming sound his ear could ever hear. He didn’t expect to find a safe place in the form of someone, and he didn’t know that person would be Sunoo.

That day, after so many sleepless nights. Niki finally had a good rest.

He dreamed of a boy with a pale hand and a pair of foxy eyes smiling under the sunlight.

  
to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful that you reading it. I hope you like the update! Please let me know about your thought. You can find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe! Have a nice day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t like someone drowned him into a water out of sudden, it was as if he already had his feet under water for awhile, and just decided to step forward, into the deeper part of the lake, slowly, toward him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the tags as the story goes.

The school was on fire. Figuratively, not literally

The reason was.

“Niki!!”

Kim Sunoo, the school’s sunshine, year 2 class 5 Handsome Oppa, everyone’s sweetheart, lately had shown some interest in this particular junior whose name he had just called.

“Niki!!” Sunoo called the younger one more times, he stood far outside the field where Niki was stretching with his friend, it was PE class for Niki. Sunoo could see that finally Niki heard him, he waved back to Sunoo before jogging back to his classmates and teacher.

“Are you done?” Jake asked him. Sunoo wasn’t alone, all of his friends were there. The three of them were asked by their teacher to bring some textbooks back to the library and Sunoo just decided to tag along.

They had to stop their journey to the library because Sunoo thought that it was a must to say ‘hi’ to his new favorite junior.

Sunghoon adjusted the weight on his arms. “Can we go now? If you don’t want to help, at least don’t make us stop every time!” Sunghoon scolded him.

They had made several stops already due to Sunoo. The first one was when Sunoo told them to take his picture with some flowers in the school’s park, and the second one was when a student suddenly called his name and gave him some snacks before she ran away with her friends. 

This was the third time.

“Fine!” Sunoo took a book from Sunghoon’s pile. “Happy?” He pouted.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, Sunoo’s ‘help’ barely made a difference. “Jay!” He called Jay who currently flirted with some girls from 1st year on the side of the field. “Let’s go!”

Jay turned his head to Sunghoon for a second and said goodbye to the girls. He walked toward them. “He’s done?”

“Why do you always talk to random people so much?” Jake asked him when Jay came closer. They started to walk again.

“Because it’s fun of course.” Jay answered, like it was something obvious.

Jay had always been like that. He wanted to make his life as simple as possible. Being tied to someone would only make everything too complicated to his liking. He loved and didn’t at the same time.

He always said yes to anyone, but quickly retreated if he sensed the other wanted something more. More texts, more dates, more feeling Jay knew he could never share.

His friends called him a player, but he said it was what called being free.

“You know, there’s something called karma Jay.” Sunoo suddenly said to him. “What if one day you get hurt because of someone?” Jay never saw Sunoo being this serious before. “Or worse, you hurt someone you really care for once.”

It shouldn’t mean too much for Jay, but the fact that the thought flashed on his mind for a mere second told something.

“You talk nonsense Sunoo, looks like you read too many romance novels lately haha. But I appreciate it tho.” Jay walked closer to Sunoo, he moved the books on one hand and swung the other one around Sunoo’s neck. “You really care about me huh?” He ruffled Sunoo’s hair.

“Well it’s up to you to listen to me or not. And let me go! You messed up my hair.” Sunoo pushed him, and walked faster, catching up with Sunghoon who already opened the library’s door.

“I think he’s right. You need to listen to us sometimes.” Jay was surprised when Jake suddenly appeared on his side. “It’s a bad habit.” Jake said before leaving him alone outside the building.

Calling it a bad habit was too much for Jay. Jay just stood there and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Hey! Don’t leave me alone!” He ran up the stairs and went inside

‘It’s nothing.’ Jay didn’t need to care about such a thing, for now.

* * *

Jungwon pulled Niki to his side. He saw everything. “Niki come here.”

Niki gave him a look, as if asking ‘what?’

“How did you get close to Kim Sunoo Sunbae?” Last time Jungwon remembered, Niki asked him and Daniel about Kim Sunoo, and now out of sudden the said person just magically became friendly with his friend. It’s ridiculous.

It was so unexpected. One night Jungwon opened his door only to find Heeseung Sunbae outside with his roommate, who had mild fever and had trouble opening the door on his own. Heeseung had helped walk Niki back to his room. Jungwoon was so surprised how the school council president ended up with Niki that he forgot to ask about what happened and just thanked him.

Jungwon swore it wasn’t only him who was curious, the looks his classmates threw at Niki were explanatory.

The teacher told them to gather around him.

“You need to tell me about everything later Niki.” Jungwon told his friend, he got no answer.

* * *

The teacher told them to play dodgeball today. He had separated the class into two groups.

Niki avoided the ball every time. He felt that his classmates somehow targeted him all the time. ‘Shit’ Niki cursed under his breath, he almost got hit.

“Hey Niki.” One of his opponents called his name. “How did you get close to Kim Sunoo?” See? Jungwon was right.

Every ear focused on their exchange. “Not your business.” Niki paid him no attention.

Niki had given up looking for friends, it didn’t matter anymore to Niki how his classmates saw him. It’s been awhile since he saw them no more than a stranger.

“You cheeky fucker.” The person had the ball this time. Niki said nothing. 

He suddenly smirked and said. “Does he know about what you did Niki?” Niki could see that some of his classmates sneered at that.

The old ugly feelings Niki had long forgotten creeped into his heart once again. The fears of abandonment lingered on his mind all at once. He could care less if someone chose to believe things people said, but when it came to Kim Sunoo, he was genuinely terrified.

“What do you think will happen if he knows about the ‘real’ you Niki?” he continued.

_‘Maybe the rumor wasn’t a rumor at all, maybe it was true that Niki was a monster who knew nothing but hurting.’_

The sentence rang on his head too loud. Everything was too much. His heart beat too fast.

“Niki out!”

Niki was scared for once.

* * *

“Kim Sunoo, answer the question.” Jay told him.

Jay, Sunghoon and Jake cornered him in front of the science building. They were on their way back from the library when out of sudden the question flew out of Sunghoon. “What question?” He chose to play dumb.

“You don’t think that you can avoid it forever, do you?” Jake was quite intimidating if he wanted to be.

“Let me repeat then, why do you get friendly with that junior? Who is he actually?” Sunghoon took a step closer.

“You guys are scaring me!” Sunoo cried out. His friends immediately took a step backward.

“Just answer it then, it’s not a really hard thing to do!” Jay said.

Sunoo hadn’t told them about Niki yet. Everytime they asked, Sunoo just avoided the question. He thought he was being slick. But in reality, his friends just gave him some space, they waited for him to tell them himself. But looking at Sunoo, it seemed like he could use some forcing.

Sunoo wanted to tell them, but the fear of being teased stopped him every time. 

It was time for him to give up.

“It’s him. The one that helped me when I fainted was Niki.” He finally said. “I didn’t tell you because you guys can be such a pain. Don’t tease me!”

Sunoo expected his friends to laugh and tease him already, but nothing.

“I win.” Jake suddenly said, he opened his palm and thrust it to Jay and Sunghoon in turns. 

Sunghoon and Jay sighed and opened their own wallets, and took some cash and handed them to Jake. Sunoo was dumbfounded.

“The fuck-” Sunoo pointed at them. Jay shushed him. “Sunoo baby, no cursing.”

“You guys made a bet on me?!” He was bewildered. They didn’t even try to hide it from him! “You must be kidding me.”

His friends just laughed. “Forgive us, it’s because you took so long to tell us!” Sunghoon tried to calm him down.

“It’s because you always tease me!” Sunoo hit them lightly. “How did you know anyway? Is it that obvious?”

Jake laughed again, “It is! How did you meet him again?”

Sunoo let out a breath, today he learned that it was better to tell his friends about things than postponed it only for them to do something more annoying.

So, he told them about everything. All of it. About his unforeseen encounter with Heeseung outside the nurse room, Niki’s fever, to his wounded body.

“You need to see it yourself, I was so terrified that I cried!” Sunoo felt he could get a nightmare if he thought about Niki’s wounds for too long.

“What do you want us to do Sunoo? Walk to him and say ‘Hey Niki! Can you take off your shirt for a min, we want to see your wound!’? ” Said Sunghoon to tease him. He was rewarded with a kick from Sunoo.

“If you found him already, why are you still keeping this?” Jake touched the jacket Sunoo was wearing, Niki’s. 

Shit.

Sunoo had meant to give it back to Niki that night. But the younger mindlessly said, ‘No need, it looks better on you anyway.’ before realizing it and turned away from Sunoo immediately, leaving Sunoo with a bright red face.

No way he would tell his friends about it.

Sunoo saw an opening between Jay and the wall behind him. He quickly ran away from them laughing.

“Ya! Sunoo! Don’t run!” Jay ran after him quickly. “Jake! Catch him!” The said boy just nodded and started to sprint.

Sunghoon just laughed at them. His friends looked so silly running around in front of the building.

Suddenly he felt someone was staring. He looked up to see it was Heeseung, standing on the science building's second floor window. He waved at him.

Sunghoon threw him a smile and waved back.

“Sunghoon-ah!” Sunghoon could hear Jake called him from afar. He mouthed goodbye to Heeseung before rushing to Jake.

* * *

Heeseung was closing the laboratory’s door when he heard some familiar voices outside. He was just done helping the teacher with something. Heeseung looked out the window.

“Jake! Catch him!” Heeseung found it funny how the fourth of them was always together, and only to bicker all the time.

He could see Jake and Jay were running around trying to catch Sunoo. He was about to shout to tell Sunoo to slow down or he might feel sick afterward, when he saw it.

Sunghoon was looking at them fondly.

Heeseung held his breath seconds longer than usual.

Heeseung could remember very clearly, the very day he had fallen for him. 

Lee Heeseung’s deepest secret was probably the fact that he shamelessly loved Park Sunghoon, his friend, a close one at that, since the first day they met.

It was around spring a year ago. Sunoo had forced him to meet his close friends from his class. Heeseung and Sunoo lived in the same neighbourhood, they were childhood bestfriends. They got close after their parents arranged a playdate for them. Sunoo was weak since he was born, he couldn’t go out that often to make friends on his own. 

Heeseung always wanted a younger brother, that was the reason why Heeseung got so happy when being introduced to Sunoo. He grew up pampering Sunoo with love and care. 

And that ended up with Sunoo being too dependent on him.

Heeseung didn’t mind it at all, he was okay. He loved the younger ones anyway. But sometimes he wished that Sunoo could make more friends. He didn’t want Sunoo to be lonely.

That was why he was so fast to agree with Sunoo when he asked Heeseung to meet his new friends from school.

They had decided to meet in this new ice rink. He came together with Sunoo. It was then, when he saw him.

Among the people there, he stood out the most. In the sea of people, Heeseung’s focus chose to follow him around.

The way the boy danced on the ice was mesmerizing. He gracefully spinned around, he made it look so easy. Heeseung was astounded. 

Heeseung was surprised when the boy came near them. He was more surprised when Sunoo greeted the boy with compliments. Turned out, he was one of the friends Sunoo wanted Heeseung to meet today.

_“You look so great! How was it? Skating after so long?”_

_“It was like meeting an old friend again.”_

_“Oh right, this is Heeseung Hyung. The one I talked about.”_

_“Hello, I’m Park Sunghoon.”_

And before Heeseung knew it, he had fallen too deep.

Sunghoon turned to him, he caught Heeseung staring, too late for him hiding. Sunghoon waved at him. Heeseung returned it with a smile as well.

“Sunghoon-ah!” He saw Jake calling for Sunghoon.

Sunghoon said goodbye to Heeseung and ran to Jake. The smile on his face got brighter with every step he took to his friend.

Heeseung clenched his hand hard. It was still hurt so bad.

“Heeseungie Hyung!” Someone called him, it was Jake, it seemed he noticed Heeseung as well. He waved to the younger.

Jake took Sunghoon’s hand and pulled him to their friends. Heeseung saw all that. He turned his back to the window and leaned to it.

Maybe if someone asked Heeseung what was the most regretted decision he had ever made? It would be falling for someone he knew could never love him back.

* * *

Niki sat on his bed alone. Jungwon had gone to pick something up outside.

The event that happened this morning played vividly on his mind. Niki had never cared about someone’s opinion this much before. But something about Sunoo was just different. It had always been different.

Niki wasn’t used to the foreign feeling, it almost made him feel sick.

Since the day in the nurse room, Sunoo had been so friendly to him, he always called Niki’s name with such excitement, everytime, everywhere. Sunoo started to stop by his table at lunch only to say ‘eat a lot Niki.’ before joining his other friends.

And those simple acts gave so much impact to Niki’s little heart.

Sunoo’s attention to him brought others’ as well. People he didn’t know before started to stare at him, it was the different kind of stare Niki had been receiving since months. It was the curious, wondering, kind of stares. 

Niki had mastered the art of ignoring people. Those gazes didn’t matter so much.

Sunoo had been nothing but kind towards him, his gaze always too soft, and Niki was too used to them that it made him afraid one day that stare turned into something else. Something darker and not as soft anymore.

For the first time, Niki was afraid of Kim Sunoo.

* * *

The sound of the door opening dismissed Niki’s thought all at once. It was Jungwon.

And he wasn’t alone.

“Hi Niki!” Daniel flopped down on Niki’s bed.

It was his habit, ever since Daniel started to visit them, he always chose to sit on either Niki’s or Jungwon’s bed. He always made himself at home.

“Hi.”

Ever since he decided to live so far away from home, he had accepted the fact that his personality wouldn’t make it easy for him to gain a lot of friends. The day he met Taki at the entrance ceremony was pure luck. He was so grateful to meet someone from the same land as him, Taki gave him the sense of home he had long missed.

But Taki wasn’t here anymore. Niki had failed him.

Niki looked at his hands, those hands that failed to reach Taki’s.

“Something on your mind Niki?” Daniel grabbed his hand, the look of concern was present on both his and Jungwon’s face.

Niki’s gaze fell on his friends. Friends, yeah, he dared to call them his friends. He still couldn’t believe that he managed to find friendship among side eyes and groundless hate.

Niki prayed for them to stay, for a little more seconds, minutes, and days.

He wanted to trust them, and he wanted to trust himself not to fail once again. Niki looked at Daniel and said “Yeah, I have something on my mind.” then he turned to Jungwon this time. “Will you listen to me?”

* * *

The night was long, but strangely it wasn’t that cold.

“I didn’t know.” Jungwon said between tears.

“Now you do.” Niki simply told him.

The three of them sat on top of Niki’s bed. He had told them what happened to him, what took place that day to Taki.

“Ughh I hate them so much!” Daniel punched his pillow, Niki’s pillow. “I mean they basically make you take the blame for something you didn’t do!”

“They could easily say it wasn’t your fault, but-” Jungwon couldn’t finish his sentence, choked on tears again.

“And Jaeha! Ugh! He’s an asshole.”

Niki stared at both of them quietly. Was it something worth for Jungwon’s tear and Daniel’s rage? He didn’t know. But Niki’s life was hell for it, and maybe it was just worth telling them about it. “Do you believe it?”

‘Do you believe in me?’ Niki wanted to say instead.

Both of them turned their head fast to Niki in disbelief. 

“Of course!” Daniel said. 

“I trust you from the start.” Niki knew Jungwon wasn’t lying when he said that, Jungwon truly was the only person in his class that didn’t look at him in a negative light. “And I hope you will learn to trust us as well Niki.”

“I want to, but sometimes I feel like- “

‘-you will one day leave as well’

“Is it really that hard to trust us Niki? Do you have a trust issue or something?” Jungwon actually was a bit offended.

Niki shrugged his shoulder, “Kinda?”

“Sorry” Jungwon quickly said it.

“You can trust us Niki, we won’t leave you. You aren’t alone anymore.” Daniel spoke to him.

As if he could read Niki’s cloudy mind.

“Thank you, I really mean it.”

Jungwon and Daniel’s smiles bloomed on their face.

“We can learn to depend on each other's Niki, just as friends do.” Jungwon hugged his own legs close. “Just as you depend on Taki, and he depends on you.”

“I’m still curious, why don’t Taki give you a call?” Daniel asked.

Niki was wondering as well, he didn’t know why. Taki’s number had been unavailable since that day, and Niki didn’t have his parents’ and he didn’t know how to find him. Taki completely disappeared from Niki.

“I hope he comes back soon, and tell your classmates what happened, so they don’t have any reason to hate you anymore.”

“I just hope that he’s doing okay.” Niki said quietly.

Jungwon clasped his palms together in a praying gesture. “Taki please get well soon and come back quickly to Niki, don’t worry he isn’t alone anymore. He has me, Daniel, and Sunoo Sunbae-” Niki’s eyebrows knitted together at the mention of Sunoo. “Just focus on recovery and be healthy. God please pass this on Taki and let him be well and happy.”

“Sunoo Sunbae?” Daniel suddenly asked.

Niki smelt trouble.

“Ah right! Niki!” Jungwon turned to Niki. “Tell us how you ended up getting close with him?”

“We’re not close.”

“He greets you everyday Niki.”

“Doesn’t mean we’re close.”

“Niki, it’s Kim Sunoo we’re talking about.” Jungwon was about to snap at Niki’s stubbornness.

“What about him?” Niki genuinely didn’t know. He was aware that the elder was really popular in their school, but he wasn’t the only one.

“He’s friendly and all, but it’s not everyday to see him greeting someone he barely knows.” Jungwon was stating a fact. “And it wasn’t even a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hello’, it’s ‘Niki!!’ and-” he lifted both his arms and waved excitedly, mimicking Sunoo.

“Wow, that’s something.” Daniel chirped.

“I helped him once, he helped me twice.” Niki finally said.

“Tell us the details!”

“Not telling you.”

Jungwon took a pillow and threw it to Niki. Niki tried to suppress his laugh.

“But Niki.” Daniel called him. “You must be aware already, that-”

Daniel paused.

“-Jaeha is interested in Sunoo Sunbae. Like- a lot.”

Niki fell silent. Daniel was right, Niki was already aware of that fact.

“What I’m trying to say is, I think you need to be really careful Niki. Jaeha may hurt you again.” Daniel continued. “Who knows what kind of evil thing he would do, he even beat me up for nothing.”

Jungwon hugged his best friend. He still couldn’t believe that Jaehaa had kicked Daniel multiple times without reason. Daniel was passing by them when they were smoking, and suddenly he got pulled and beaten.

Something flashed on Niki’s mind.

Niki still remembered it very clearly, the way Jaehaa gripped Sunoo’s arm, the way he flinched from the pain in the cafeteria.

“It’s okay, I can protect myself.” The thing was, Niki wasn’t worried about himself at all. He was afraid of what Jaehaa could do, not to him, but Sunoo.

‘I will protect him too.’

* * *

They were in Sunoo’s room. Jay had suggested for them to watch some movies together, tomorrow was weekend anyway.

The movie’s credit was playing.

“I can’t believe they didn’t end up together.” Sunoo said, wiping his tears with some tissue Sunghoon had given him. “I feel sorry for them.”

“What a crybaby.” Jay insulted him.

“I saw you cried when the museum scene was playing.” Jay snapped his neck to Sunghoon. “Don’t lie to yourself Jay, half of these are yours.” He pointed at the pile of tissues on the floor.

“Damn.”

Sunoo laughed at them. 

“Ssst, Jake is sleeping.” Jay told him to tune down his laugh. He was right, Jake was sleeping soundly on Sunoo’s bed.

“Sorry.” Sunoo said in a really small voice.

DING

That surprised them. It was from Sunoo’s phone. Sunghoon and Jake looked at him, Sunoo just smiling sheepishly.

It was a text from Heeseung. “Huh? Heeseung Hyung wants to borrow a charger.”

“Heeseungie Hyung? He is coming here?” Jay asked him. Sunoo just nodded.

“Tell him not to come, I’ll take it to him.” Sunghoon said out of sudden. “We live on the same floor anyway.”

“Okay.” Sunoo typed something on his phone. “Bring that leftover cake as well, I’m sure he skipped dinner again.”

“Come to think of it, Heeseung Hyung is so damn busy lately isn’t he?” Jay spoke to them.

Sunoo let out a breath. “Yeah, the school festival is still months away, but I can barely get a glimpse of his nose these days.”

“I saw him the other day, on our way back from the library. Remember when you chased Sunoo around?” He asked Jay. “Yeah it was when.”

“He looked really tired.” Sunghoon add.

“Heeseungie Hyung, please just retire already, you need to rest. He rarely hangs out with us anymore.” Sunoo was worried about him. Heeseung was a bit workaholic.

“Yeah Hyung, just step down already. So I can finally replace you.” Jay said jokingly.

“If Jake is awake, he will tell you to take your competitive ass elsewhere.” Sunghoon got up on his feet.

“Oh ho, did you hear him Jay? Someone just declared that they’re an expert in Shim Jake.” Sunoo loved to tease his friends, Jay was laughing with him.

“Screw you.” Sunghoon walked toward the bed, picked up the blanket and put it on Jake.

Sunoo and Jay just squealed on the side. “He never put the blanket on me that gently. He basically threw it at me!” They whispered to each other. Sunghoon kicked them both.

Lately the two loved to tease him and Jake about their feelings for each other. Maybe they got sick of them dancing around each other.

Just dance together already damn it!

It’s not like Sunghoon wasn’t aware of his own feelings, he was just a bit unsure and it wasn’t like Jake had a crush on him as well, was he?

“Let him sleep here tonight.” Sunghoon grabbed the charger that Sunoo brought to him, he took the leftover cake as well. 

“Yeah yeah, now off you go Mr. Boyfie.” Sunoo pushed Sunghoon to the door, Jay was already waiting. “People in love stink.”

“Yeah no wonder you stink so much these days.” It was Sunghoon’s turn to tease Sunoo.

Sunoo was bright red. “I’m not in love!”

“Sure, tell Niki about that.” Sunghoon could see his friend get redder before the door being slammed in front of them. Jay had his laugh tonight, he was panting.

They said goodnight to each other and parted ways.

* * *

It hadn’t been long since Sunghoon discovered the newfound feeling he had for Jake. It wasn’t unexpected.

It wasn’t like someone drowned him into a water out of sudden, it was as if he already had his feet under water for awhile, and just decided to step forward, into the deeper part of the lake, slowly, toward Jake.

Sunghoon knew nothing about falling in love. It was new to him, and the fact that it wasn’t just anyone, but someone he was close with, had him panicked.

He needed help.

Sunghoon knocked on the door.

He needed help from someone who he knew could give him an answer. Someone who somehow knew about everything, someone who was always there to answer him.

The door opened.

“You are here.”

“Hey Heeseung Hyung.”

  
to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry Heeseung, pls don't kill me. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks alot for the kudos and comments, I love reading it so much, it gives me more motivation to write! Thank you for reading this chapter as well! Please let me know about your thoughts, you can find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe. Have a nice day!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He brought new lights to his dim life. Or maybe it wasn’t a light at all. It was just him, being there, being the ray of sunshine who showed him ways even at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the tags as the story goes.

Heeseung heard someone knocked on his door. Sunoo had told him that someone would bring the charger to him instead.

He opened the door. 

‘Oh’

He just didn’t expect it to be Sunghoon.

“You are here.” Heeseung held the door handle a little too hard.

“Hey Heeseung Hyung.” Sunghoon gave him the charger, and a bag of something. “It’s a cake, Sunoo thinks you must have skipped dinner again.”

Heeseung took that all. “Thanks.” He was about to say good night to the younger, but Sunghoon just stood there, scratching the back of his head, his habit that Heeseung had noticed since long.

“Do you want to come inside?” Sunghooon’s eyes lit up at that. “I don’t think I can finish this alone.” Heeseung lifted the bag in his hand.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Heeseung opened the door completely, letting Sunghoon to step inside.

* * *

Heeseung didn’t have a roommate just like Sunoo. He had a single dorm by himself. Heeseung’s room was clean and tidy, he had some paper works on his desk. “You seem to have a lot of work, Hyung, should I just go back? I don’t want to bother you”

“It’s okay, I was taking a break when you knocked.” Heeseung took out the cake and placed it on the plates, he brought it to Sunghoon who sat on the floor beside his bed. “Here.” He gave the younger a fork as well.

Sunghoon thanked him.

They ate in silence for some minutes. Heeseung could tell that Sunghoon had something on his mind.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Have you-” Sunghoon paused for a second. “Have you ever fallen in love with someone before Hyung?”

Ahh it was about time,wasn’t it?

Heeseung put down his plate on the floor. He turned to face Sunghoon.

He had expected this kind of conversation with the other. Knowing Sunghoon who always came to him every time something was bothering him. Heeseung was happy that the younger trusted him.

But this time, he didn’t feel as happy.

Sunghoon was waiting for his answer, he seemed nervous.

“I have.” Sunghoon’s eyes got wider, as if he didn’t expect that as Heeseung’s answer.

“Wha- what? Who is it? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Heeseung just laughed at that. It’s you, dummy.

“Just someone.”

“I know them?”

“Kinda?”

“Who?”

“Someone.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah.” Heeseung wasn’t sure at first, he hesitated. “Just a friend.”

They fell silent after that. Sunghoon tried to process the information on his head.

Heeseung had accepted the fact that he wouldn’t be able to cross the boundaries between him and Sunghoon. In the younger’s eyes, he was just a brother, a friend who was there all the time.

That was why Heeseung buried his nose deep in work. He thought if he didn’t see Sunghoon, his feelings toward him would soon disappear. 

But joke on him. He missed the younger even more by days. Maybe Sunoo was right when he called him dumb sometimes.

Heeseung felt like a fool right now, having whatever called this conversation with his own crush.

Sunghoon slowly raised his head, looking at Heeseung, his voice seemed unsure. “How does it feel, Hyung?”

Heeseung could hear his own heart breaking, turned into shambles at the way Sunghoon looked at him. “How does it feel to fall in love with your friend?”

‘How does it feel to fall in love with you?’

Heeseung looked down. He stared at the cakes which flavour he suddenly forgot. Was it strawberry? He swore he tasted cream cheese, but somehow it was also bitter, maybe it’s the chocolate.

Falling in love with Sunghoon was warm, like a sunrise seeping through the curtain in the morning. The younger always wrapped him in comfort, he gave the best smile which made Heeseung’s day somewhat way better than before, Sunghoon made Heeseung happy just being there with him.

Falling in love with Sunghoon was cold, like walking on a frozen lake, barefoot, without something to hold onto. Heeseung always felt empty when he saw the way Sunghoon’s smile brightened up because of this person, the way they held each other's hands, how they fit just right. Heeseung felt chill every time he saw Sunghoon with Jake.

Heeseung turned to Sunghoon for a second, before looking back at his half eaten cake. “It doesn’t feel like falling at all.” He started. “At first I felt blessed, I could see them everyday, having fun with them all the time.”

He still remembered it very clearly, how happy he was back then. Everything seemed perfect. He didn’t care about Sunghoon’s feelings towards him, as long as he got to be with the younger, Heeseung thought it was enough. 

But he got greedy. 

“But when I realized I got no chance, those blessings turned into something else. Something cursed, a cursed blessing.” He continued.

“It didn’t workout Hyung?” Heeseung shook his head. If it worked, you wouldn’t be here asking for some love advice from me Sunghoon.

“They liked someone else, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship, so I step back.” Heeseung saw Sunghoon from the corner of his eyes. “Beside, they look perfect together.” He tried to give Sunghoon the most sincere smile someone could ever manage with a broken heart.

“What about you Sunghoon?” Sunghoon turned at the mention of his name. “How does it feel to fall in love with your friend?”

Sunghoon looked at the elder. Heeseung knew.

Suddenly his face felt hot, it was strange, the AC was on.

“Is it that obvious?” He asked Heeseung.

Heeseung wanted to smack his own head. He couldn’t believe that he fell for someone this dumb.

“I think the last people to realize it are you and Jake.” Heeseung laughed softly. “Both of you are too oblivious of your own feelings. It’s a good thing finally you realize it.”

Heeseung continued, “How did you realize it?”

He knew any answer from Sunghoon would hurt so bad. But Sunghoon was here, asking for help from his friend, and that was the side of Heeseung that the younger needed the most right now, the side that he could depend on, the older brother. 

Not the side who had feelings toward him, the side who was currently bleeding.

“I don’t know, it's just that I realize how happy I’m when he’s around.”

Sunghoon learned that happiness could come in so many forms through Jake. He didn’t know at first, just like what he told Heeseung, he was just really happy when he was with Jake. When slowly he realized that some smiles stayed seconds too long, touches lingered a bit longer than usual, and he found Jake to be the reason to all.

“That’s good enough.” It was the reason I fell for you as well. “Are you-” Heeseung forced his voice to come out. “Are you planning to tell him?”

It was hard, acting as an older brother in this situation was hard.

“Maybe one day, but I’m afraid.” Sunghoon was playing with his fork. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

Heeseung put his arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder and gave him a few pats there. “Just trust your heart Sunghoon-ah.”

“Heeseung Hyung, you know, you’re the only person I can talk about this kind of thing.”

“I know, Jay and Sunoo will probably teased you non stop, bet they already do that.” Sunghoon laughed at that.

“Thank you so much Hyung, I feel a bit better after talking to you. It was good to finally let it out loud.” Sunghoon’s smile was still as blinding as ever to Heeseung.

“It’s nothing, you are always welcome to come to me.” Heeseung didn’t want to say that he would be waiting for him. He didn’t plan to wait for a ship in an airport, it was stupid and just wasn’t worth it. 

But he would be there for Sunghoon, just standing still on the side, having no idea what to do with his feelings.

“Now tell me what do you like from him? I mean Jake?? He only cares for his dog!” Heeseung let out a laugh, he just loved to tease the younger as much as their other friends.

“Not you too Hyung!” Sunghoon pushed him and laughed.

It was moments like this that Heeseung loved the most, just having fun with Sunghoon, it was enough.

He learned to be content with these kinds of moments once again.

* * *

Sunghoon had left a few minutes ago, they had more talks, about anything, about their day, their friends, and more about Jake.

Heeseung sat on the floor, the same place he sat with Sunghoon before. It was dark, he just turned off the light.

With Sunghoon’s gone, the brother Lee Heeseung was replaced with Lee Heeseung who loved him.

He saw the leftover cake on his plates, he didn’t get to finish it. Heeseung picked up his fork and took a bite.

He didn’t realize before that the cake was this salty, maybe it was just his tears. Heeseung cried as quietly as he could be.

The cake turned tasteless with a hint of something bitter.

That night Heeseung learned that no matter how many times his heart got broken, it would always hurt as if it was his first.

* * *

Jungwon was quite uncomfortable. They were in the school cafeteria, it was lunch time. He could see couples of eyes looking their way.

“Can you pinch me?” Daniel whispered to him. It was the third time Daniel had asked the same thing from him. So instead of pinching him like he asked, Jungwon just slapped him on his arm, hard.

Daniel made a pained face, he rubbed his arm on the place Jungwon just hit. It was burning.

“Are you okay Daniel?”

The reason for this mess was just sitting there, asking Daniel if he’s okay.

“Yes-” Daniel choked. “I’m fine Sunoo Sunba-” Sunoo looked at him with a threatening look.”Hyung, I’m okay Sunoo Hyung.”

Sunoo had told them to call him Hyung a few minutes ago, after he thought it would be such a great idea to suddenly sit beside Niki on their table at lunch.

The said boy just sat quietly there, trying to look as indifferent as ever.

Key word : trying.

Sunoo wasn’t a hard to approach person, it was just his presence alone could intimidate people. He just got everything, looks, money, and brain. It was hard to be friends with him without feeling somewhat inferior.

At least it was what Jungwon heard about Kim Sunoo.

But the person in front of him just seemed so normal. He had introduced himself and asked if he could eat there with them.

It was fun to talk to him as well.

After some more minutes of getting comfortable with each other, suddenly they were all over the place.

“He did that?” Sunoo looked at Daniel unbelievably. 

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Look!” Daniel showed him the muscle patch on his arm. “Jay Hyung told us to do push up hundreds of times already, he said we need to get stronger for dancing!” Daniel kept complaining.

“Oh my God, I’m going to smack his head for you.” Sunoo said.

Jungwon laughed at that. Sunoo was so friendly, Jungwon didn’t know that it would only take minutes for them to get comfortable around each other that he already forgot the uneasy feeling he got from people’s stare.

Jungwon liked him already.

“Jungwon-ah you said you are in the music club didn’t you?” Sunoo suddenly asked him.

Jungwon just nodded, he took a bit of his lunch.

“Did Heeseungie Hyung come there often?”

Jungwon swallowed his food before answering. “Not really, I want to get close to him, but he was barely there.”

“You want to get close to Heeseung Sunbae?” Daniel turned his head to Jungwon.

Shit, did Jungwon say it out loud?

Jungwon's ears turned red, which made Daniel and Sunoo laugh out loud.

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell Heeseungie Hyung once I get to meet him haha.” Sunoo’s laugh died down slowly. “It was really hard to find him these days.”

Sunoo felt Heeseung suddenly disappear from the world. He still replied to Sunoo’s text but it was just not enough, sometimes he didn’t even reply at all. What in hell made Heeseung this busy.

Sunoo turned his head to the boy who just kept quiet the whole time. “What about you Niki? What club are you in?”

“Nothing.” Niki answered shortly. “I don’t have a club.”

Sunoo raised his eyebrows.

“What do you like then?” He asked instead.

“You.” Daniel murmuring under his breath, Jungwon immediately stepped on his feet. Luckily Sunoo didn’t hear that.

Daniel just laughed softly and said sorry.

Niki looked like he was thinking of something, after a while he finally said something. “Dancing.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell us before?” Daniel pointed at him. 

“You didn’t ask.”

“Well he’s right.” Jungwon’s turn. “Why don’t you just join him in dance club Niki?”

“He’s right!” Sunoo chirped.

“I’m not really confident with my dance.” Niki looked down at his meal.

Daniel grabbed Niki’s hand. “It’s okay! We can learn together. Sunoo Hyung can you ask Jay Hyung about it?” Daniel’s eyes were full of hope.

“Well I’m not sure, he may be my friend, but you know how he’s about dancing, he’s really strict.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Daniel’s eyes dropped. Sunoo hated it.

“Don’t worry Daniel! I’ll find a way!” Sunoo burned with determination.

Suddenly Niki said, “You don’t have to do anything.”

“No Niki, finally you show some interest in something, I can’t just let it go like this.” Sunoo was happy that Niki had something he wanted to do. The younger boy seemed disinterested in anything that made Sunoo somehow sad. “You guys agree with me right?” He turned his gaze toward Daniel and Jungwon who immediately said yes.

It brought a smile to his face. Niki’s friends were great, he loved them already.

* * *

  
  


“I can’t believe I just got dumped.” Jay said while munching on his baby carrots. Where did he get those? “Me, Jay Park, got dumped for the first time. Someone needs to write it on history.”

“Stop being so dramatic Jay.” Jake said to him.

“He’s not sitting with us for once, and you act like he cheats on you or something.” Sunghoon added. He just got back after buying some drinks. He put a box of juice in front of Jake. 

“Thanks.” Jake accepted it happily.

“What? Where’s mine?” Jay looked up at Sunghoon.

“Did you ask me to buy you something?”

“No?”

“Then?”

“Fair enough.” Jay went back to stare at Sunoo again. The thing was, Jake didn’t ask Sunghoon to buy him a drink as well, but Jay was too busy being petty that he didn’t realize.

“Oh my God, look at him.” Jay suddenly said.

Jake and Sunghoon turned their back to see what Jay was pointing at. “Look how happy he is without us.”

Sunoo was talking excitedly with Niki and his friends. Well Jay was right, Sunoo looked happy.

Sunghoon let out a breath, “Jay stop it, let him be, at least he looks happy.”

“I want to be happy too! He can’t just leave me with you two, I don’t want to be a third wheel.” Jay complained. He couldn’t even see Sunoo’s face very clearly, he sat too far away from them.

“Just shut up and eat your carrots.” Jake shoved the baby carrots to Jay’s mouth. He looked flustered.

Jay was about to complain once again, when he saw something. He pulled out the baby carrots and said . “Quick act mad, he’s coming.”

Sunghoon and Jay were confused. What’s with him.

“Guys!” Sunoo walked to them and sat on Jay’s side.

Jay moved away from him. “Leave us alone.”

“What’s with him?” Sunoo asked Jake.

Jake just shook his head and said “Don’t mind him, he’s being petty again.”

“He’s sad that you were not eating your lunch with us.” Sunghoon suddenly added. Jay perked up at that.

“What the hell- why do you tell him that!” Sunghoon just laughed at him, Jake as well.

Sunoo put his arms around Jay’s shoulders, hugging him. “Aw, are you lonely? I’m so sorry for leaving you behind.”

Jay fought hard to keep his poker face. He wasn’t actually upset. Jake was right, he was only being dramatic.

“You look really happy with them, and here I am being a third wheel. What were you talking about anyway?” Jay asked Sunoo.

“A lot of things! And Jay, what do you think about accepting a new member on your dance club?”

“New member? Who? No, I won’t let you join us.” Jay thought Sunoo was talking about himself.

Sunoo was visibly offended but he let it pass, for now. “No! It’s not me, it’s Niki.” 

“Niki? Your new friend can dance?” Jake was curious.

“He said he likes dancing, but I don’t know why he doesn’t join any club yet.” Sunoo turned to the dance club president. “What do you think Jay?”

Jay looked like he was thinking. “Well if he passed the test, I’ll consider it.”

“What test?” Jake suddenly asked. “You didn’t give me any test.”

“That’s because I saw you dance enough everyday. I know talent when I see one.” Jay gave his friend a wink.

Jake threw him a thumbs up. “You’re the best.”

This time it was Sunoo’s turn to think. Niki said he wasn’t confident enough with his dancing. It would be bad if he messed up on Jay’s test.

“Hey Jay, can you let Niki practice in the club room?” Well that was so sudden. Sunoo looked at him with his sparkling eyes. “Please?”

Jay scoffed at him. “Do you think I’ll do anything for you if you look at me like that?”

“Please?”

“Fine, he can practice on his own after we’re done.” Sunoo immediately hugged Jay at that.

“I love you so much.” Sunoo said to Jay.

Sunghoon just looked at them with a confused look, Jay gave up too fast if it came to Sunoo. 

“I’ll give you the spare key, we finish at 8 sometimes 9. He can use it after that.” Jay told Sunoo, he was nodding the whole time. “I’ll give him a week to practice.”

“A week? Isn’t it too soon?” Jake thought it was too short for Niki to practice on his own.

Sunghoon agreed with Jake, “Yeah, that’s too much.”

“No no no it’s final.” Jay closed his ears using his hands. 

“It’s okay guys, I believe Niki can do it.” Sunoo told them.

He didn’t even know how well Niki danced, but strangely he always wanted to trust the younger.

He didn’t know anything about Niki. He was waiting for the younger to tell him by himself, Sunoo was sure, the day that Niki would finally open to him would come. He wanted to believe that day would come.

* * *

“I don’t think I can do that Hyung.”

Sunoo was dumbfounded.

He found Niki after school and asked him about Jay’s condition. They were on their way to the dorm together.

“Why?? You said you like dancing!” Sunoo stopped to look at Niki properly. The younger followed suit.

“I just didn’t have the confidence anymore.” Sunoo supposed he couldn’t force Niki to do something he wasn’t comfortable with.

Sunoo had realized that there was something wrong with the way Niki’s classmates looked at him, the fact that Sunoo had only seen the younger one hanging out with Jungwon and Daniel alone added to his suspicion.

Did Niki get bullied in his class? The memories of Niki got beaten up and his bruised body flashed on his mind.

“Well, if you say so.” Sunoo tried to sound as cheerful as possible. “You know that you can always talk to me if you have a problem right?”

Niki’s gaze fell on the other. Sunoo had gone his way to help him into the dance club, and to turn off the offer blindly was kinda rude.

Besides, Niki found himself hated more to see the elder looking so down than anything else. “But I think I’m still going to try, for you.”

Sunoo bewildered. “For me?”

Niki nodded. “You went far to help me, the least I can do is try my best, for you.”

Sunoo could feel his cheeks warmed. “You don’t have to do it, really.”

“It’s okay. I have nothing to do anyway.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t feel forced or anything?”

“Huum”

Niki could see the elder’s face lighted up. “Thank you!” Suddenly Sunoo threw his body to him, and hugged Niki in the middle of the streetwalk.

“Um? Sunoo Hyung- people are watching.” Niki said that but he made no move to push the other.

Sunoo stepped back immediately, and took Niki’s hand instead. “I’m so happy! Thank you Niki.”

“I should be the one thanking you Hyung.”

“I'm just really grateful that you want to try to do it Niki.” Sunoo smiled at him. “You know, losing something you used to love just the worst.” The sudden change in Sunoo's expression caught Niki by surprise. He was about to ask the elder if something was wrong, when-

“Getting too close aren’t we?”

Sunoo turned around from facing Niki. It was the voice he hated the most. If he set his alarm using Jaeha’s voice, he was sure he would wake up immediately and threw his phone out of the window in seconds.

Niki instinctively pulled Sunoo’s wrist and stepped before him. Sunoo was stunned by that.

Jaeha raised his eyebrows. His eyes lingered on Niki’s hand who wrapped around Sunoo’s wrist.

Park Jaehaa always got what he wanted. And he had laid his eyes on Sunoo since the younger stepped on the school’s ground a year ago. Kim Sunoo was the perfect match for him, he came from a wealthy family, just like him, he got the brain, that’s perfect, and his pretty face? Just his type. Shortly, Kim Sunoo was made for Park Jaehaa only. His wild imagination thought.

Kim Sunoo was just so different from other people. Sunoo didn’t quiver in fear before him, saying ‘no’ to his every demand, and always did everything he wanted.

And that made Jaehaa desire him even more.

And the fact that someone had gotten this close to what his made him burning. More so, that someone was Niki. The boy who had the audacity to talk back to him, even punched him and his lackeys that he had sent him everyday for a whole week.

Niki sure was someone who couldn’t keep his hand away from Jaehaa’s property.

Jaehaa took a step forward, his gaze met Niki’s, never once leaving. The younger didn’t even flinch, Niki just stood still, his expression stayed indifferent.

Park Jaehaa was too cocky for someone who just got punched by Niki on the face and ran away a few weeks ago. Jaehaa was a cocky coward.

Honestly Niki was dumbfounded by that.

“We meet again eh Niki?”

Sunoo’s ears perked up. Did they meet before? He peeked from behind Niki. 

Wow, if look could kill, he was sure Jaeha would be a dead body already. Sunoo never saw the younger looked at someone like he wanted to murder them before. 

Well he supposed everyone in this school wanted Jaeha to be gone already.

He was about to step up and told Jaeha to fuck off, but Niki’s hold kept him in place. Silently telling Sunoo to stay behind him, remaining on Niki’s reach.

“This time you dare to touch what’s mine.” Jaeha continued.

Niki looked at his eyes. “He’s not yours, he’s not anyone’s.”

Sunoo’s heart skipped a beat. He glanced up at Niki, he could only see the back of his head this time.

Jaehaa spat on the ground. What a nasty person. 

Jaehaa started to lose his mind. “Listen here you little shit, you better fuck off, before-”

“Before what.”

“Before I tell him who you really are.” Jaeha smirked.

Niki’s mind ran wild. The thought that he had been forcibly pushed behind, emerged once again.

The image of Sunoo letting go of his hand, leaving him behind with a cold gaze terrified him. The light flickered, his life would be dark once again in a short time.

Jaeha noticed the slight change on Niki’s face. It seemed to work huh?

“Hey Sunoo.” Jaeha called the boy behind Niki.

Sunoo could feel the tense on Niki’s body. His grip tightened around Sunoo’s wrist. Something was wrong.

Why did Niki suddenly feel afraid? What kind of history did he have with Jaeha?

Thousands of questions lingered on Sunoo’s mind.

Jaehaa began “Hey Sunoo, do you know-”

“Wait a minute.” Sunoo stepped from Niki’s behind once again, this time Niki let him, he didn’t hold him back.

Niki was about to let go Sunoo’s hand as well, but this time, Sunoo held it by himself. He wrapped his hand around Niki’s.

Niki was surprised, and Jaeha was no different.

“Sunbae, if you think I’ll believe anything that comes from your mouth, you are dead wrong.” Sunoo looked at Jaehaa with cold eyes. “Just leave us alone.”

Niki was stunned when Sunoo pulled his hand, and dragged him away.

Jaeha was furious. “Kim Sunoo listen-” He forcefully grabbed Sunoo’s shoulder. “-this piece of-” Jaeha didn’t get to finish his words, Niki jerked Jaeha’s hand away from Sunoo and threw him a punch right on his face. “Don’t touch him.” Niki said short.

Jaehaa stumbled on the ground, it felt like a deja vu. He was on the floor with Niki looking down at him. What a sight.

Niki turned to Sunoo, he held the elder’s hand that he just left seconds ago. Niki walked away with him.

Sunoo was startled when Niki had suddenly let go of his hand and landed a punch on Jaeha. Sunoo turned his head to see Jaehaa. Wow, it must be hurt. He could see blood on the corner of Jaeha’s mouth.

Sunoo looked back forward, to Niki, who said nothing and kept walking. Sunoo glanced at Niki’s hand on his. It was a red.

“Niki.” Sunoo called the boy in front of him. He kept walking.

“Niki!” The younger one didn't budge.

What’s with him?? Sunoo walked faster and tried to block Niki’s way. That wasn’t a really good idea, they bumped each other.

“!!!”

“Shit- are you okay Hyung?” Niki immediately checked Sunoo’s forehead that he just bumped into. “I’m sorry.”

Sunoo pouted, “What’s with you? You didn’t hear me calling you twice.”

Niki didn’t know what happened to him as well. He was just so mad when Jaeha touched the elder roughly. He was just so furious that he punched him without much thought.

“Sorry, are you okay?” Niki asked Sunoo once again.

“Forget my forehead! Your hand! Look at it!” Sunoo showed Niki his hand. “Why did you punch him so hard? Look, you got hurt.”

Niki saw his own hand, it wasn’t hurt at all, it was just a bit red and scraped. Did he hit Jaeha’s teeth? Disgusting.

“I’m okay Hyung.” Niki said to Sunoo.

“No you’re not, follow me.” Sunoo pulled him this time.

* * *

They were in Sunoo’s room. It was the first time Niki saw a single dorm. He heard it was hard to apply for it, and quite expensive. 

Sunoo sat him on the elder’s bed. It was soft.

Niki didn’t know what to do with himself when Sunoo left to take something for seconds.

Being surrounded by the air full of Sunoo was kinda overwhelming. Everything about this room was screaming Kim Sunoo. Niki had imagined Sunoo’s place to be like this, something warm, and homey. Just like the owner.

Sunoo came back after taking something from the bathroom, it was a first aid kit.

The elder quietly took Niki’s hand and cleaned it. Niki silently watched him working. The way Sunoo tended his wound was nothing but gentle. Niki was too mesmerized that he didn’t realize Sunoo was done wrapping his hand with band aids.

“Niki.” Sunoo called him. “Listen to me.”

Niki was already listening.

“You can’t just punch him like that again.” Niki gave Sunoo a questioning look. “You could’ve gotten injured! We’re lucky he was alone.”

Sunoo continued, “What if his friends were with him? You know I can’t fight for shit-”

“I can protect you.” Niki simply interrupted. ‘Beside, I fought with them already, and I won.’ Niki added on his mind.

Sunoo’s heart skipped a beat once again. Stupid heart this wasn’t the time to get flustered.

He fought hard to keep his expression neutral. “That’s not the point, I don’t want you to get hurt, Niki.”

It wouldn't be easy for Niki to get used to those sincere eyes.

Sunoo still continued talking. “You have to promise me, don’t pick a fight with him again, or with anyone at all.” Sunoo showed him his pinky finger.

Niki only stared at him first. “But what if-”

“Niki.” Sunoo said firmly. “I will be really mad at you if you get hurt again. Promise me not to get hurt again.”

Niki focused on the other, Sunoo looked so cute when he tried to be serious. “Okay.” He linked his own pinky finger with Sunoo’s. “I won’t start a fight with him.”

Sunoo’s face brightened up. “Good boy.” He patted Niki’s head a few times. That surprised the younger. He wouldn’t get used to this as well.

They fell silent after that.

There was something bugging Niki. “Sunoo Hyung.”

Sunoo was packing up the first aid kit when Niki mentioned him. “Hm?” His gaze still remained on the box in his lap.

“Why didn’t you ask me anything?” Niki finally asked after contemplating alone.

Sunoo glanced up from the box to look at him. “About?”

“Anything.”

Suno gave him a soft smile. “You’ll tell me if you want to.”

Niki was astounded, Sunoo’s answer was so simple yet meaningful at the same time. The elder never forced him to tell his story, never once. He always gave Niki some time, some space, until he was ready to spill everything on his mind.

“Thank you Sunoo Hyung.”

“For?”

“Everything.”

Sunoo looked at the younger who was playing with the band aids on his hand. “Sure.” He said cheerfully.

Niki was grateful for him. Sunoo brought new lights to his dim life. Or maybe it wasn’t a light at all. It was just him, being there, being the ray of sunshine who showed him ways even at night.

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm trying to update it regulary, but yeah school sucks. Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, I love reading them! It gives me more motivations to write.  
> This story will be long, I hope it doesn't bore you yet.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! Please tell me about your thoughts, you can find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe. Have a nice day!!
> 
> ps. Heeseung baby ily


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things better be left where they originally belong. So they don’t wither and lose its beauty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll updates the tags as the story goes.

Jake was exhausted already. He needed to finish his homework already but the person in front of him didn’t know how to shut up.

“Oh my God Jake, you need to see that yourself, Niki was like-” Sunoo had been talking about Niki for 30 minutes already, but he didn’t seem to be tired yet. “ ‘Don’t touch him’ and I was like what the fuck that’s so cool. And then-” Sunoo continued.

Jake had come over to Sunoo’s room to ask the other to tutor him. Jake was a bit struggling with the math homework their teacher gave them. But Sunoo had dragged him from the door and sat him on his bed, telling him about his encounter with Jaeha today.

“Sunoo.” The said person paused his storytelling. “I know you’re excited. But please help me with my homework first, it’s due tomorrow and I haven't even started anything yet.” Jake cried out. “Please, I’ll listen to you until morning, if you help me with it first.” 

Sunoo rolled his eyes. “Just copy mine, I’m done with it.” Sunoo took a book from his desk and thrusted it toward him.

Jake’s eyes widened. “What? I come here because you said you’d tutor me!”

“You don’t want it?” Sunoo was about to pull back his book.

“No no, please, it’s better than you tutoring me, let’s save your energy.” Jake quickly snatched the book from Sunoo. “Now tell me about your lover boy.” Jake plopped down into Sunoo’s bed comfortably. Sunoo rolled his eyes to him once again.

* * *

“The fuck? I’m glad Niki punched him.” Jake sat up on the bed, he punched Sunoo’s pillow, imagining it as Jaeha’s face. “He's always so rough!”

“I know right, but Jake, I feel something happened between them.”

“Hmm you know that Jaehaa loves to pick a fight with anyone right?”

Sunoo nodded. “Why do I feel that the wounds on Niki’s body were Jaehaa’s doing…”

“Why don’t you ask Niki yourself? I know he will tell you right away.”

“I don’t want to force him to be open to me, I want him to tell me at his own pace.” Sunoo took his pillow from Jake and hugged it. He rested his back on the bed, looking at the ceiling “He seems to have a lot on his plate.” 

Jake laid down beside his friend. “You really like him huh?”

Sunoo laughed softly. “Maybe I have a crush on Niki, but you know it hasn’t been long since we know each other.” Sunoo raised his hands, looking at how pale it was. “It’s just too soon, I’m not sure.”

Sunoo liked Niki, as friends. The younger had his ways of making Sunoo feel at ease and peaceful. Niki’s presence alone made Sunoo feel protected and content. 

Sunoo prefered loud people over the quiet one. He didn’t know how comfortable silence could be before he met the younger. He used to think that it was too suffocating, he needed to hear something before his mind went insane already. But with the younger, the quiet became bearable, he learned to appreciate more things that couldn’t be seen in a noisy place.

Sunoo still stared at his hand, at his wrist that Niki had touched before. He was amazed at the way how easily Niki kept him in place. Even his friends found it hard sometimes to stop whatever Sunoo had in his mind.

Maybe Sunoo trusted him too much already, he started to believe that whatever Niki had in his mind was for Sunoo’s only sake. It was dangerous. Everything was too fast for his own good, Sunoo was terrified. 

Sunoo turned his head to the side, looking at Jake. He needed to distract himself from his thoughts, from Niki.

“Hey Jake.”

“Hm?”

“What’s with you and Sunghoon?”

“I thought we were talking about you, not me.”

Sunoo sat up, he crossed his legs. “He starts to openly flirt with you doesn’t he?” Sunoo saw how awkward their friends were these days. 

“It’s only on your mind. There’s nothing between us.” Jake still found the ceiling so damn interesting.

“Yet, nothing yet.” Sunoo said. “How do you truly feel about him?”

Jake was bewildered, he wasn’t ready for this kind of conversation with Sunoo. But at the same time he wanted it. 

“I don’t know.”

Sunghoon to Jake was unexplainable. The boy was so strange yet so familiar at the same time. He was so distant, yet Jake could still grasp. Sunghoon to him was…

He had learned since a young age, that some things better be left where they originally belong. His father had told the seven year old Jake that time.

He still could remember his seven year old self crying, throwing a tantrum to his parents, asking them to let him take the beautiful flower on the park to home with them.

It was beautiful, the colour was bright and enchanting.

Jake wanted it for himself.

 _‘Some things better be left where they originally belong Jake. So they don’t wither and lose its beauty, just like your flower.’_ His father had told him when he cried because he woke up to his flower lose its color and dropped dead on its makeshift vase he made from a water bottle.

Sunghoon to him was like a flower. He knew deep down that he, himself, wanted Sunghoon. But at the same time, he was afraid. What if one day those feelings withered, and he would be left with nothing but regret and tears.

“I’m afraid, say I tell Sunghoon I like him as well, and we get together. What if one day, he wakes up and realizes that our relationship just doesn’t work out anymore. What will be left of us, Sunoo? Friendship? I doubt that.” Jake got emotional out of sudden. The thought frighted him so much.

Jake closed his eyes, he didn’t realize he shed a tear at the thought of Sunghoon leaving him.

Sunoo was surprised by that. He took Jake’s hand on his. “There are always two kind of endings, Jake.” Jake opened his eyes. “What if it just works out fine? What if one day you wake up and see Sunghoon by your side with the same loving eyes?”

Maybe Jay was right, Sunoo read too many romance novels lately.

Jake was stunned. That- he never thought of that.

But the fear had lingered for a long time on his mind. Every ‘what if’ only ended up with something negative that he couldn’t really fathom the thought of a happy ending.

“You know Jake, I think sometimes you really need to live in the moment. Sunghoon isn’t just anyone, he’s your best friend, our best friend. I bet hurting you wasn’t even on his list of things he wants to do.” Sunoo continued.

Sunoo laid down beside him again. “At the end, the choice is yours Jake. I’ll support you no matter what.” Sunoo circled his arms around Jake, cuddling him. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”

Jake laughed softly at that. “It’s okay, I’m really grateful for you Sunoo. You clear my mind. I’ve been struggling these days. But it looks like I can finally make a choice.” He hugged him back.

“Really? That’s a good thing.” Sunoo snuggled closer to him. “Now, enough crying let’s sleep.

Jake wanted to believe that Sunoo was right, that Sunghoon wasn’t just anyone, he was their bestfriend. That he wasn’t the flower at the park that was picked by seven years old Jake.

* * *

Few days later.

Sunoo was freezing in front of the club building. It was almost 8.30 PM and he was alone waiting for someone.

Jay had given him the spare key to the dance club room this morning. The dance club just finished their activities at 8 just like Jay had said. The club activities were allowed up until 11 PM on weekdays.

Where the hell was Niki? They didn’t have that much time!

Suddenly Sunoo felt something being put on his shoulders. He was about to kick whatever behind him-

“What-” Sunoo was about to curse when he saw who it was. “Niki?” 

Niki put both his arms over his head, surrendering. “Hi.”

Sunoo could feel his heart beated so fast. “Don’t ‘hi’ me! I was so scared!” He cried out.

He thought he was about to get kidnaped or something. Worse, Jay had told him how haunted this place was.

Niki quickly tried to calm him down. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I saw you shivering in cold, so-”

Sunoo realized that there was a jacket on his own shoulders, Niki’s. Finally he calmed down.

“Where were you anyway? You’re late!”

Niki said sorry again. “Something came up. I’m sorry.”

Truth was, Jaehaa had once again sent his minion to attack him. He was on his way here when two people suddenly pulled him on the sidewalk and began to ruthlessly hit him. Niki was lucky those people weren’t as good as him at fighting, they were too clumsy. Maybe Jaehaa had run out of good fighters already.

He wanted to praise Jaeha on his consistency. How he was so consistent being a jerk.

Niki had promised the elder that he wouldn’t pick a fight with Jaeha anymore. But to his defence, he was attacked. But still, Sunoo didn’t need to know. He didn’t want the other to get worried.

Niki tried to change the topic. “You don’t have to come here with me Hyung. You can give me the key.” Niki thrusted his hand to him.

Sunoo shook his head. “No, I can’t just leave you alone here!” Sunoo came closer and whispered to him “This place is haunted.”

That was cute. Niki laughed softly. “You don’t have to worry Hyung, I don't believe those kinds of things.”

“Well I believe in them!” Sunoo seemed to love holding Niki’s hand. “Let’s go, we don’t have much time.”

Niki prayed that Sunoo didn’t realize new bruises on his knuckles. 

* * *

It had been a while since Niki was in a room with a wall mounted mirror. He missed this atmosphere.

He started to do some stretching to warm up.

Niki glanched at Sunoo from the mirror. He was sitting comfortably in the corner. Niki’s jacket neatly placed on his lap. “Go for it Niki!” He cheered for him. That brought a smile to Niki’s face.

Niki walked to the bluetooth speaker on the other side of the room, he connected his phone with it. Music was starting to fill the room.

He was nervous, it had been a while since the last time he danced and Sunoo was there watching him on top of that.

The boy slowly started to move, following the rhythm of the music, hitting every beat. Soon he was drowning. Niki could see himself in the mirror. Memories of him from years ago filled his vision. Niki realized that his body was never really forgotten.

* * *

To say Sunoo was shocked was understatement.

His mouth hung low. He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy who easily moved. It was- mesmerizing.

Sunoo knew nothing about dancing despite his best friends being in the dance club, even one of them was the president of said club. But he could see that Niki’s move was really something. His moves were really sharp. Sunoo could see that he wasn’t an amateur in dancing.

He was so immersed in Niki that he didn’t realize the music started to come to an end. Niki stood there panthing.

Sunoo immediately stood up as well and clapped at him. “Niki! That was-”

BRAK

The door opened abruptly followed by a loud thud. Three people were stumbling on each other on the floor.

“Ah fuck you Jay-” Jake hissed at his friend. Sunghoon helped him to stand up.

Niki instinctively rushed toward Sunoo before he realized that the intruders were the elder’s friends.

“What the fuck guys?!” Sunoo was dumbfounded.

It was the first time Niki heard Sunoo cursing this loudly.

Jay dusted his pants. “Sunoo baby, no cursing.” He walked toward him and Niki who was just as confused as Sunoo himself. “Sunghoon, take the form.” Sunghoon obediently took the said form that Jay had asked and gave it to Niki.

“Just fill it with your information, you can use this pen.” Sunghoon quietly gave Niki some instructions.

Well that didn’t explain everything.

“What the hell is happening?!” Sunoo cried out.

Jake walked to him, trying to calm him down. “Easy there.” He felt Jake treated him like how he calmed down Layla, his dog.

Niki was confused, but he still filled the form Sunghoon gave him. 

“Niki isn’t it?” Jay tried to act as cool as possible. Like he wasn’t just falling down on the floor with his face landed first.

Niki just nodded.

“You’re so amazing, I can see the talent in you.” Jay stepped forward to him, and shook Niki’s hand. “Welcome to our dance club, my name is Jay and I’m the leader here.”

Sunoo tried to process all the things that were happening right now. He was still confused actually, but hearing what Jay just said to Niki, he couldn’t be more happier than this.

“Oh my God Niki! Did you hear him?” Sunoo pulled the younger into a hug. “Congratulations!” Sunoo circled his arms around Niki’s shoulders

Niki was overwhelmed with everything that just happened. His adrenaline was still high from all the dance he just did minutes ago. He found courage to hug Sunoo back this time, he wrapped his hands around him. He breathed in Sunoo’s scent, he always loved the way it calmed him.

They stayed like that for a while before realizing that in fact they weren’t alone.

Jay faked a cough to gain their attention. The two immediately separated themselves from each other. 

Sunoo tried to calm himself, he walked to Jay and pointed at him. “Tell me what are you guys doing here?” He turned to his other friends who were avoiding his gaze.

Jay just laughed at him. Nothing was funny Jay. “Calm down, don’t be mad at us!”

“Yeah, you can’t be mad at us, it was Jay’s idea. Go be mad at him.” Jake said. Jay looked at him with a face full of betrayal.

“Jay.” Sunoo called his name. “Explain.”

Shit, he forgot that Sunoo was quite scary when he was mad. “I couldn’t wait to see him dancing, and he will end up performing in front of us anyway, might as well watch him sooner.” Jay tried to explain. “And it’s better for me to see his talent when he’s unprepared!”

What kind of logic was that Jay?

That sounded so ridiculous to Sunoo, but he just let it slide, at least Niki was accepted. That was more important than any excuse Jay had.

“Do you mean it when you say Niki is accepted?”

“Of course, what are you taking me for?”

“Well, that’s great!” Sunoo finally smiled, Jay quietly let out a breath. “Thank you so much Jay!” Sunoo hugged him this time.

He straight away pulled back and walked to Niki again. Sunoo asked the younger. “Niki, are you happy that you got accepted?”

Niki noticed that the elder always asked how he felt about something. That was an endearing habit Sunoo had. Niki gave the other a smile, he nodded. “Yeah.” He then took Sunoo’s hand, “Thank you Hyung.”

* * *

Jake and Sunghoon just stood on the side. The scene in front of them was just like a movie. Niki and Sunoo just stared at each other with smiles on their faces, saying nothing, just staring.

“Wow I want what they have.” Jake unconsciously said out loud.

“Yeah same.” Sunghoon answered in second. 

They immediately looked at each other, and laughed softly. 

Jake looked at Sunghoon, ever since the conversation he had with Sunoo, he had been paying more attention to the other. After all this time he just realized that Sunghoon always looked at him first every time something made the other laugh. It wasn’t something special but strangely butterfly in his stomatch wouldn’t calm the fuck down.

“Stop it.” Sunghoon suddenly said.

“What? I’m doing nothing.”

“You’re staring at me.”

“You talk like you aren’t looking at me as well.”

“That’s because-”

“STOP IT ALREADY!” Jay suddenly shouted. “You know, someone is single here! If you aren’t aware already, that someone is me! Me!” He pointed at them, and turned to point at another pair, Sunoo and Niki who somehow still had their moment as well.

Sunoo just chuckled softly at his friend. 

On the other hand, Jay’s words lingered on Niki’s mind. Did Jay just implied that he, and Sunoo were a couple? He glanced down at the hand he still held, was it so wrong to feel that Sunoo’s hand just fit really well on his?

He tightened his hold slightly, gaining Sunoo’s attention. The other looked at him with a questioning look. Niki just shook his head and smiled weakly at him. 

Fate sure was something. Niki didn’t realize that the long winter in his life was slowly being replaced by the spring he had yearned for.

* * *

Jungwon was happy. Few days ago Niki had come to their room and told him that somehow he got accepted to the dance club. Jungwon couldn’t be happier.

He knew that the dance club’s members were good people, Daniel had told him multiple times already about them. And Jungwon had seen it by himself. He always found time to peek at the dance club practice room everytime he passed by it to reach his own music club. He saw how happy Niki looked, learning from his senior there. Jungwon could see how kind people in the dance club were toward his friend. 

Daniel kept complaining how Niki was better than him already. He said Niki had memorized one of their hardest routines in twenty minutes. But Jungwon could see how happy Daniel was with Niki in the dance club. He wasn’t alone there, but it was way better to have more close friends around wasn’t it? Jungwon found it cute.

Well, Jungwon was happy for his friends, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but felt lonely as well. The music club wasn’t as busy as the dance club. He used to spend his free time bothering Niki when Daniel was busy practicing. But now, both of them were busy with dancing. 

That was why Jungwon found himself peeking from the dance club practice room’s door again today. Huh? It was strange, the room was dark and empty, no one seemed to be there. They should be practicing by now.

Jungwon tiptoed to see more clearly inside. But suddenly-

“!!!” The door opened from the inside, Jungwon almost lost his balance when out of sudden a hand reached out and held his arm, preventing him from falling.

“Thank you-” Jungwon was about to thank the person who just helped him when- “Jay Sunbae.” It was Jay. Apparently it was Jay who just opened the door, causing him to lose balance.

Jungwon instantly stepped back and pulled his arm from Jay’s hold. Jungwon bowed to the other, politely greeting the older. “Hello Sunbae.”

Jay was confused, he had noticed that this boy had been peeking at the practice room from time to times. Jay wanted to ask the boy if he got something to do with the club when he saw the boy once again peeking at the door today. “What-”

“Goodbye Sunbae.” The boy suddenly said to him, and bowed once again, before walking off and disappearing on the corner of the hallways.

Jay was dumbfounded.

“The fuck???”

* * *

“Heeseungie Hyung, that boy is so weird!” Jay said to Heeseung. It had been 15 minutes since Jay started complaining to him about his encounter with this strange boy in the dance club practice room. “I always see him peeking at the door, but when I want to ask him what he wants, he just walks away???”

“Oh?” Heeseung tried to give a response to the younger.

Jay wasn’t done yet. “He said ‘hello’ and then suddenly a ‘goodbye’ after! He didn’t even give me a chance to talk!”

“Uh Jay?”

“Who the hell he is anyway? I never saw him before.”

“Jay?”

“I swear if I see him again-”

“Jay!”

Jay turned his head to Heeseung, finally. “What is it Hyung?”

“What-” Heeseung let out a breath. “I know you’re upset with that boy, but seriously? This is a student council room for God’s sake.”

Jay looked around him, well Heeseung was right. It was in fact the student council room, and they weren’t alone. Some people were present as well, looking at him with a funny look.

He had barged to the room suddenly, and immediately sat on Heeseung’s chair, the student council president’s chair, when the rightful owner left dumbfounded standing on the side holding a document.

Heeseung pinched the bridge of his own nose. 

“Why? Is there any problem Hyung?” Jay had the audacity to ask Heeseung if there was a problem. You were the problem Jay!

“Jay.” Heeseung said softly. “This is not my room, you can’t just come in and out as you like.”

“Huh? That’s not really a problem isn’t it Hyung? I’ll be working here soon.” Jay looked around the room. “Might as well getting used to it soon.” He threw a charming smile towards the people there. Some of them left flustered at that.

“You know that I still have a few months left, right?” Heeseung asked the younger.

“Yeah!” Jay turned to him. “And when we’re on the topic, Sunoo has been fussing over you for days, he is worried about you, we’re worried!”

This conversation wouldn’t end soon. Heeseung picked up Jay from his chair, and pushed him towards the door. “Yeah yeah, I’m okay, tell him I say hi. I’ll call you guys later.” Heeseung opened the door. “Bye!”

“But Hyung-” Jay couldn’t finish his sentence. The door was already closed by Heeseung. The fuck? He locked it as well!

Jay was bewildered. He was still upset about that strange boy from before, and now even his Heeseungie Hyung was too busy to listen to his problem.

He still remembered him very clearly. The boy looked a few centimeters shorter than him, he had a set of dimples on his cheeks. He had a cute face.

And that fact upset him even more. Such a cute guy just left him alone in the hallways? Jay swore if he saw the boy again, he wouldn’t let him go easily.

Boy, better watch out.

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I don't think I'll be able to update this AU soon, I'm so sorry, my assignments had been glaring at me T_T  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! I love them so much, it gives me a lot of motivation to write this story!  
> I hope you enjoyed it! Please tell me about your thoughts, you can find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe! Have a nice day!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t know.” He laid down and stared at his ceiling. “Just someday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the tags as the story goes.

Jake was stressed and anxious. This morning his family just called him, their dog wasn’t feeling well and needed to be treated by their veterinarian. His mother said that Jake didn’t have to worry, it wasn’t something serious, and Layla would be home soon, healthy and happy as before.

But Jake just couldn't be at ease at that. He wanted to go home right away, but his parents probably would kick his ass back to his dorm even before Jake got to step into their lawn.

Jake slumped on his bed. He was laying there, doing nothing, but busy with his thoughts alone, when he heard his door opened, maybe it was Jay. They were roommates.

“What are you doing?” But that didn’t sound like Jay at all.

Jake didn’t even pay the other any glance. “Nothing. What do you want Sunghoon-ah?”

Sunghoon walked to his friend, and sat beside him on Jake’s bed. “You’re still sad?”

“I want to go home.” Jake turned to his side.

“Your parents said that Layla is fine. You don’t have to worry this much.”

“But, still-” Jake sighted “I’m so worried.”

Sunghoon laid close beside his best friend, he bumped the side of his head to the other’s lightly. “She’s gonna be fine.”

Jake closed his eyes. Despite his anxiousness towards his dog’s condition, his heart chose to beat faster for the person beside him.

“I hope.”

“She will.” Sunghoon said before getting up, pulling Jake’s hand as well. “Let’s go.”

Jake was confused. He didn’t want to go anywhere, he simply didn’t have the energy for that. “Where?”

“Anywhere.” Sunghoon ignored Jake’s complaint along the way, kept dragging him around with himself. “Somewhere as long as it can distract you from your worry ass.”

* * *

That ‘anywhere’ turned out to be an arcade.

The place was filled with neon lights and it got rows and rows of machines. Jake was mesmerized, it had been awhile since the last time he went to an arcade.

He was busy being amazed that he didn’t realize Sunghoon had left him to get some coins.

“Let’s go.” Sunghoon appeared suddenly by Jake.

“Huh?”

“Let’s go!” He dragged Jake once again with him. “I’ve got us enough coins to play all day.” He turned his head to Jake, he smiled at him.

They stopped in front of a basketball game. Sunghoon let go of Jake’s hand and insert some coins into the machine. He took a ball and gave it to Jake.

“Here.” Jake was still slightly confused, but the sound of the game starting shocked him.

Sunghoon laughed at the other, Jake looked so funny trying to throw the ball as fast as he could. His laughter erupted more when he saw the score. “You’re so bad at it!”

Jake laughed at himself. Sunghoon could see that finally some of Jake’s worry disappeared from his face, replaced by excitement and joy.

* * *

The both of them played for hours. They tried to beat each other in every game they played. 

“Shit!” Sunghoon cursed when Jake beat him in racing, again.

“Yeah!!” Jake exclaimed in happiness. He teased Sunghoon. “You sucks!” 

Sunghoon only laughed softly. The truth was he lost to him purposely. The pleasure of watching Jake’s shouting in happiness was way better than winning any games there.

Sunghoon looked at his phone to check the time. It’s past 8 PM already. They missed dinner. No wonder his stomach had been grumbling since before.

Sunghoon’s gaze fell on a machine on the corner, a claw machine filled with dolls and toys. He turned to his side, Jake was still busy celebrating his victory. “Hey.” he called him.

Jake cocked his head to the side, silently asked him ‘What?’

“One last game before we go home?” Sunghoon stood up and stretched out his hand to Jake. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“Seriously Sunghoon?” Jake asked him dumbfounded. “Why would we play it? This game was so tricky!”

Sunghoon laughed softly. “It’s okay, the dolls are cute.” He pointed at the machine. “Look! It’s Sunoo!” 

Jake looked at the doll that Sunghoon’s pointed. He laughed at the sight, it was a fennec fox plushies, oddly Sunghoon was right, that doll reminded him of their best friends, maybe it was the foxy eyes.

Jake’s eyes roamed around the machine. “That’s Heeseungie Hyung!” He pointed at a deer plushie. He got interested suddenly. “Let’s get those and give them to Sunoo and Heeseungie Hyung!”

* * *

Jake was right. The machine was so tricky. 

“Argh!” It was Sunghoon’s third attempt to get the fennec fox plushie. “Sunoo-ya I’m so sorry.”

Jake patted him on the back. “There there. How many coins are left?” He asked Sunghoon.

Sunghoon opened his palm to show him one last coin on his hand. 

“Okay! Let me use the last chance.” Jake took the coin and inserted it into the machine. 

Jake settled for the deer plushie, it looked so much easier than the others. Jake directed the control slowly aiming the doll. When he thought the aim was good enough, he turned to Sunghoon. “Pray for me.”

He pushed the button.

Sunghoon and Jake looked nervously at the claw machine. It was too slow! They didn’t realize they had held their breath.

_Congratulations~_

The sound of music was coming from the machine when the claw grabbed the doll successfully. 

“Yeah!!” Both of them exclaimed at the same time and Jake jumped around in happiness.

Sunghoon took the doll from the machine and gave it to Jake. 

Jake took it happily. “Heeseungie Hyung will love it.”

“Bet he will smack us first for comparing him with a deer.” Sunghoon laughed. “But then he will happily accept the gift.”

“Yeah, Heeseungie Hyung sure will do that haha.”

Suddenly Jake felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. Jake took out his phone, he got a text.

Sunghoon was nervous when Jake said nothing but staring intently at his phone. But then Jake looked at him with a really bright smile on his face.

“Look!” He shoved his phone to Sunghoon. “Layla is home!” It was a picture of his dog, laying on the carpet with Jake’s mom, both of them smiling at the camera.

Layla looked happy and pretty healthy in the picture.

“See? She’s fine!” Sunghoon said to Jake. 

Jake looked at his phone fondly. “Yeah, thank God.” He then glanced at Sunghoon once again. “And thank you Sunghoon-ah.”

“For what?”

“For today.” Jake put his phone back to his pocket. “If it’s not for you, I would probably be laying in the bed worrying all day alone.” He threw the other a smile. “Thank you.”

Sunghoon returned the smile.

His intention bringing Jake here was to distract him at first, but through half an hour being here with the other, he realized that they were in fact alone here, without their other friends. It was basically an unintentional date wasn’t it?

Well, at least for Sunghoon.

“Sure.” Sunghoon took Jake’s hand. “Let’s go home.”

“Yeah!”

* * *

  
  


The loud music filled the practise room. The dance club members were repeating the same routine for hours, practicing on it, making it perfect.

Jay was leading his friends when suddenly the music stopped. “Huh?”

“What happened?” Jay asked Daniel, who stood close to the loudspeaker.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s broken?”

“Huh?” Jay walked to him and looked at the speaker. He’s right, it looked broken.

“Maybe you use it too much!” Sunoo chirped from the door. When did he arrive? And why was he here anyway?

One of the club members called him. “Jay Hyung, Sunoo Sunbae is right.”

Jay looked around the room. His club members were all sprawled on the ground, panting.

“I don’t know what upset you today Hyung, but you can’t just take it on us!” Daniel cried out. He was lying on the ground, sweat on his shirt was visible. Niki, who was standing beside him, looked no better. He was the last person who was still able to remain standing beside Jay.

Jay looked at the digital clock on the wall. It was 9 PM already.

Well, Daniel was right. Jay was upset today. Both of his best friends left him alone, ditching the practice. He was okay with Jake’s absent today, his dear dog was sick and he was a worrywart, but Sunghoon? That asshole left him alone without any notice. Bet they were somewhere together.

But Jake and Sunghoon ditching practise wasn’t really something new. He barely got mad at them when they did that anymore. Maybe it was something else that annoyed him more.

Something that got to do with this particular boy he saw outside the practice room a few days ago.

Ever since Jay caught him that day, the boy seemed to disappear out of this world. Jay just couldn’t find him anywhere. And he felt like he was about to forget that face anytime soon if he didn’t get to see him in a minute.

Jay clapped his hands, gaining attention from his clubmates, who eagerly stood up.

“That’s all for today, you can go home or whatever.” He said shortly. His friends cheered before they quickly collected their belongings and went home, to their dorms.

“Goodbye Hyung!” Daniel patted him on the back before leaving as well with Niki.

“Good night Jay Hyung.” Niki told him.

Niki walked toward the door where Sunoo was standing. A tired smile on his face. “Hi Hyung.”

Sunoo tried to wipe Niki’s sweat using his cardigan’s sleeve. “You’re drenched in sweat.” Niki stopped his hand.

“You will get your sleeve dirty Hyung.”

Sunoo didn’t listen to him and continued to wipe his sweat. “I can wash it later.”

Jay looked at them. That’s kinda cute. But he was too tired to tease them.

Jay turned his back and began to clean the room himself, trying to clear his mind at the same time.

He never once had this kind of experience with anyone. People naturally drew to him every time, he didn’t even have to look for them. 

But strangely this boy decided to simply disappear. That gave Jay a whiplash.

“You’re thinking too hard.”

“FUCK” Jay turned around to see Sunoo standing behind him. “You scared me!”

Jay was sure that Sunoo would leave him alone to go home with Niki, what was he doing here?

“Why are you still here?” Jay looked around, no one beside them was there.

Sunoo leaned to the wall. “Why do my friends think that being sad at the same time is a good idea?” He let out a breath. “I can’t comfort you one by one at the same time!”

Jay was confused. “I’m not sad???”

Sunoo walked to him. “Yes, you are.” He began to help the other to clean the room. “You’re upset for some reason these past few days.” Sunoo threw the empty bottles to the bin. “And you tell us nothing.”

Jay didn’t tell them because they would only call him dramatic all over again. Well maybe they were right? Maybe Jay was being dramatic again this time.

“It’s nothing.” Jay began. “It’s just that there is a boy who suddenly appeared in front of me and disappeared in the next minute.”

Sunoo stopped whatever he was doing. “Shit.” He walked to Jay, clinging to him. “You said this place is haunted!”

Jay felt shiver all of a sudden. “What- no! Don’t scare me!”

Both of them were basically clinging to each other right now. 

“You scared me first! What the hell with that boy who suddenly disappeared?!”

“What do you mean?!” They were yelling at each other.

“Aren’t you talking about a ghost??”

Jay broke away from Sunoo. “The fuck? I’m talking about a real boy! Human!”

“You didn’t tell me!”

“I did-”

“What are you guys doing?”

“AAAAH” Jay and Sunoo hugged each other while screaming their lungs out. Sunoo started to pray under his breath, while Jay was busy cursing. Both of them had their eyes closed shut.

Heeseung was dumbfounded by both of them.

He was on his way back after picking up something at the music club when he heard both of them shouted at each other inside the dance club practice room.

“What the hell guys?” He finally asked.

Jay opened his eyes first. “Hyung- Heeseungie Hyung?” Jay looked at the elder from head to toe, checking if he was standing on the ground and if he had a shadow.

Jay was relieved when the person in front of them was really their friend.

Sunoo slowly opened his eyes as well. “Hyung!” He ran to Heeseung and hugged him, leaving Jay. “I was so scared!”

Heeseung laughed at the younger. “Wow I should have recorded you guys.”

“That’s not funny Hyung, we were scared for real!” Jay took his bag from the ground and brought his legs to them.

* * *

“What are you doing here Hyung?” Sunoo asked Heeseung as Jay locked the door.

Heeseung showed the book in his hand to Sunoo. “I accidentally left it in the music room.”

“What were you doing? I heard you screaming at each other, that's why I came to the dance room.”

“He was telling me about a boy.” Sunoo pointed at Jay. The three of them were walking home together, both Jay and Sunoo sticking close to either side of Heeseung.

Heeseung was sandwiched between them. He swung both of his arms around Sunoo and Jay’s shoulders. Finally they could walk a bit more properly.

“What boy?” He turned to Jay.

“The one I told you before you kicked me from the room.” Jay was still bitter about that.

Heeseung laughed softly. “You’re still not over him?”

“Huh? You knew already, Hyung?” Sunoo asked the elder.

Heeseung nodded. “I was reading some documents in the student council room, and suddenly he came and babbled about it.”

“Who is he?” Sunoo asked Jay.

“If I know him, I wouldn’t be this curious.”

A gear worked on Sunoo’s brain. “Ah, so the reason you have been cranky these days is a boy?”

Jay wanted to disagree at the cranky part. But he only nodded.

“Does our Jay start to have a real crush on someone?” Heeseung teased the younger.

Jay stopped his track to look at Heeseung. “What- no!”

Heeseung pulled Jay to walk with them again. “Then why do you get so curious about him?”

Sunoo quickly agreed.

“I don’t know, maybe because no one did that to me before.”

“Did what?” Sunoo asked.

“Leaving him hanging in the hallways.” Heeseung answered for him instead. Jay was a bit touched at that, he thought his Hyung didn’t listen to his story that day. Jay snuggled closer to the elder.

Sunoo was dumbfounded. “You’re being dramatic again.”

See? Jay was right, his friends would call him dramatic if he told them about this matter.

Jay rolled his eyes. “I thought I’m, but you know that I only got dramatic for no more than an hour. It’s been days!”

“Well, that’s strange.” Sunoo said.

“I know right???” Jay exclaimed. “Who is he anyway! I can’t find him anywhere!”

“Maybe he is purposely avoiding you?” Heeseung said out of sudden.

That’s- That’s something Jay had never thought before. But why? Why did the boy need to hide from him? He didn’t bite or something.

The questions lingered on Jay’s mind all night. That got him curious about the boy even more. Damn it.

* * *

BRAKK

Jaeha had thrown a chair to the wall. He was in an abandoned store room with his lackey. His minion just stared at him, a lil bit quivering in fear.

Jaeha was mad, and when he was mad, it wasn't really good news.

“Fuck!” Jaeha cursed.

Jaeha was furious. All of his minions who he had sent to teach Niki a lesson had come back with bruises. They said Niki was too good, that somehow he was fighting way better than a thug.

He just saw Niki walking together with Sunoo this morning. They even dared to get so close to each other despite Jaeha constantly warning Niki with his lackeys.

Jaeha couldn't really do anything to Sunoo, it was too risky for him. He knew that the younger was too precious to his family. And The Kims wouldn’t take it easy if Sunoo got hurt even a little bit.

That was why he settled to harass Niki instead. That fucker didn’t even report Jaeha to their teacher. Maybe he was smart enough to notice that it would be no use to tell them about Jaeha messing with a student. Those kinds of things his family could manage for him.

Jaeha was done with Niki.

“I want to kill him.” He said under his breath.

Jaeha turned to his lackeys. “Let’s just get over with him already.”

His lackeys didn’t dare to look at him, but they were sure that anything Jaeha had planned wouldn’t bring good news to the first year named Niki.

* * *

Heeseung opened his door widely. Sunoo walked past him. The younger had insisted on sleeping in his room tonight. He said he just missed Heeseung too much.

Heeseung was a bit sorry about that. He was purposely avoiding the other since the day he had that particular conversation with Sunghoon. He just couldn’t bear to see the other yet. And avoiding Sunghoon ended up in avoiding Sunoo as well, since they practically joined at the hips all the time.

Sunoo sat on the older’s bed. Looking at him intently.

Heeseung knew that there was another reason behind Sunoo’s request to sleep with him tonight.

“Something happened.” Sunoo began their conversation. Heeseung leaned to his desk, facing the younger.

“To you?” Heeseung joked.

Sunoo gave him a look. “No, you.”

“Nothing happened to me tho.” Heeseung simply said.

“Then why are you avoiding us?”

Heeseung raised his eyebrows. How did Sunoo notice that? “I’m not avoiding you, we just went home together.” Heeseung knew that was a dumb answer.

“Did something happen between you and Seunghoon?” Heeseung’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of the other.

He smiled at the younger. 

Sunoo had been aware of his silly crush towards Sunghoon from the start. It was impressive how the younger seemed to easily notice everything that happened around him, but sometimes being too oblivious at his own thing.

One day Sunoo had barged into his room and pointed at him, yelling about how he knew Heeseung had something with Sunghoon. The elder had refuted at first, saying what kind of nonsense the younger just said.

But Heeseung knew in the end he could never fool the other. Sunoo’s eyes were just too sharp.

He told the younger about it, about everything. Sunoo had insisted on helping him at that time, but Heeseung simply refused.

That made Heeseung wondering. What if that day he had accepted Sunoo’s offer? Would things be different between him and Sunghoon? Heeseung quickly dismissed his thoughts.

That was useless after all.

Heeseung had told the younger that he planned to get over Sunghoon soon anyway. Saying it was only a mere crush to a friend. But soon became weeks, and weeks turned into months, and endep up being a whole year weeks ago. 

Heeseung said to Sunoo at one point, that he wished for the younger to act like Heeseung didn’t just tell him about his stupid feelings. Knowing that something was starting to happen between Sunghoon and Jake.

Sunoo had cried at that time, saying how selfless and dumb Heeseung was. But Sunoo respected any decision Heeseung had in his mind, and no longer pressured the other to confess. If Heeseung wanted to move on, might as well make it as soon as possible right? The sooner the better, it would hurt much less.

If Sunoo was told to choose between Heeseung and Jake to be Sunghoon’s partner, honestly he couldn’t. He loved both of them, and they were just equally perfect to be Sunghoon’s partner. Fuck Sunghoon and his ability to make good mans fell for him

But Heeseung had chosen to step back. And Sunoo wanted to help him with that.

“What happened?” Sunoo asked.

“He came to bring your charger that day.” Heeseung answered.

“That one time I sent some cakes to you as well?”

Heeseung nodded. “Yeah, and somehow we had a talk.”

Sunoo cocked his head in a curious manner. 

“We talk- we talk about his feelings towards Jake.” Heeseung didn’t know that voicing this sentence was such a hard thing to do.

“He finally admitted his feelings for Jake?”

Heeseung laughed softly. “About time.”

“Well he’s dumb.” Sunoo told him. “And you’re dumber for falling in love with him.”

“I know right.” Heeseung stared at him, started to laugh again.

Sunoo tried to laugh as well.

Minutes passed. The silence was bearable, but Sunoo still had something on his mind. “Will you tell him Hyung?”

“Who?” Heeseung knew that was such a rhetorical question.

“Sunghoon.”

“About?”

“Your feeling, about how you truly feel towards him.” Sunoo stared at the other. “About how you ended up loving him.”

That’s a question.

Heeseung never thought about telling Sunghoon about his feelings. It was scary, and he didn’t want to risk it. Admitting that he fell for the younger was the same as confessing his love towards him.

And he didn’t want that.

He didn’t want Sunghoon to question their bonds once again. What would they become then? Friends? Boyfriends? Lovers? That was scary, knowing that the younger wouldn’t want him to be more than a brother.

But somehow, the thought ended up staying on his mind longer.

Maybe Heeseung would tell the younger, after years -after his feelings had withered completely and left nothing but memories- over a coffee. Maybe he could simply say ‘Hey Sunghoon-ah did you know that I had a crush on you in high school? I know right, I was crazy to fall for you.’

Heeseung walked to Sunoo and sat beside him on his bed. “Maybe someday.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.” Heeseung laid down and stared at his ceiling. “Just someday.”

* * *

Heeseung and Sunoo stared at each other. They didn’t realize that another pair of ears listened to their conversation behind the slightly opened door. That someone just stood there, holding a small deer plushie on their hand.

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm ditching my assignments once again for writing. I just can't bear to leave this story for too long. Maybe I'll update irregularly due to school, but I'll find time to update as soon as possible! Please bear with me!
> 
> I'm so grateful for the kudos and comments, I can't believe someone really read this story. The comments gave me a lot more motivation to quickly continue this story!
> 
> Well I hope you enjoyed the chapter! You can find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe! Have a nice day!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It was funny, how I found you in the middle of my hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update the tags as the story goes!!

_“Niki!” The said boy turned his head around. He smiled when he saw his best friend pacing toward him._

_“Taki.” Niki greeted the boy when the other sat beside him._

_They were alone on the rooftop of their school. Taki had accidentally found this place a week into the school year. He then brought Niki there as well, introducing him to this peaceful place._

_The sky was clear, Niki couldn’t even see any clouds near. It was beautiful yet lonely, but the boy beside him made sure Niki wouldn’t feel any._

_“Hei Niki.” Taki called him. “Do you ever miss your home?”_

_Niki looked at the other with amusement. “That’s so random.”_

_Taki laughed softly. “Why- I’m just curious!”_

_Niki stared at the sky above them. Home, a place you could entirely belong to, a place you could feel safe and be at ease._

_He loved his home, his family. But sometimes the place was just too suffocating. Same people, the same place that used to comfort him slowly became cold. Niki desired something new, something that his young self had dreamt of since long, freedom._

_At first his parents said he was too young to go alone, too fragile and simply too soon. But Niki was tired of his parents treating him like he was only 7._

_Niki tries his best to convince them to let him go, saying he wanted to achieve his dream here, a place known for its performers, he said he wanted to be a dancer._

_Amongst things his parents had told him to do, kendo, martial arts, swimming, playing music, he loved dancing the most. Being able to move around following the music was exciting for him. Made him forget any nagging his mom had for him that day._

_“My mom told me how beautiful her hometown is, how pretty the Sakura trees in spring.” Taki said suddenly. “You know that my family left our homeland when I was six.” Taki laid down on the ground, looking at the sky, just like Niki. “I barely have any memories about our home.”_

_Taki continued. “How is it Niki? Your home.”_

_“It was warm.”_

_“Was?”_

_Niki nodded. “That’s why I left. I choose to be here, so it doesn’t matter anymore.”_

_Taki grabbed Niki’s arm, pulling him to lay down beside him. “Niki-kun, home isn’t always about your family you know.” He talked in their mother language. “Maybe you will find a home here, one day.”_

_Niki stared at the boy beside him, who was still looking at the sky. Taki suddenly stood up. “Niki, look what I learned yesterday.”_

_Taki started to dance in front of Niki, performing some dance moves Niki never saw before. Niki laughed when Taki suddenly tripped. “What was that?”_

_“Locking!” Taki smiled widely at him, explaining the dance he just did._

_Maybe Niki’s home wasn’t really a home anymore, but still he felt himself missing its familiarity sometimes._

_Homesick._

_That was why, Niki was grateful that somehow, he found those familiarities in the form of his best friend, Taki._

* * *

_Niki opened the door to his classroom. He locked his eyes to a scene before him. Taki was inside, with three other people that Niki never met before._

_He had noticed how dim the smile on his best friend these days, how weak he looked. Niki was worried that something happened to the other, that’s the reason he was here, looking for Taki who Niki couldn’t find in their usual spot on the rooftop._

_But even in his wild imagination, Niki never thought that the problem his best friend was facing these times was this. He never expected his best friend to be bullied like this._

_Niki rushed to them, trying to stop them from hitting his best friend’s head again. Taki was surprised to see him, Niki grabbed one of the bullies hand who had hit Taki repeatedly before._

_“Ni- Niki?” Taki looked like he had cried, tears dried on his cheeks._

_“Who the fuck are you?” The person whose hand Niki grabbed said. He snached his arm from Niki._

_“Stop it.” Niki hissed to him._

_The person looked like he wasn’t happy with Niki’s tone. Even his friends looked like they were ready to jump into Niki._

_Taki panicked, Niki couldn’t be here, this place filled with dangerous people. “Jae- Jaeha Sunbaenim, please let him go.” Taki carefully said to the person._

_Jaeha turned to Taki, “You dare to tell me what to do?” He stepped closer to him. Taki cowered in fear._

_Niki saw how scared Taki was to Jaehaa. Niki grabbed Jaeha’s shoulder and pulled him forcefully._

_Jaeha wasn’t amused, he gave his lackeys a look. Immediately they grabbed Niki’s arms, holding him in place._

_Niki was quiet, his gaze remained on Jaeha who walked closer to him._

_“You’re messing with the wrong person.” Jaeha read his name tag. “Niki? Oh he’s your friend!” He said to Taki. Jaeha started to punch Niki on the stomach._

_Are these guys crazy?_

_Niki was struggling to break away from them. When he finally did, they started to attack him together, Niki easily avoided their punches and kicks._

_Niki even landed some hits on them, Jaeha’s lackey fell on the ground when Niki kicked him high on the face._

_“FUCK” Jaeha cursed loudly when he failed to hit Niki but instead being thrown on the ground by the other._

_Taki was terrified when he saw the scene unfolded before him._

_Jaeha grabbed a chair, he was about to hit Niki who was busy fighting his other friends._

_“NO” Taki rushed to Jaehaa and grabbed his arms. “STOP”_

_Jaeha was furious, he pushed Taki to the side. Taki fell on the ground with a loud thud. Niki turned his head to that._

_Taki stood up once again, trying to stop Jaeha from hurting Niki._

_Jaeha pushed him again._

_Niki’s eyes opened widely._

_No-_

_Taki grabbed Jaeha’s arm, pulled it forcefully._

_No, they were too close with the window. It’s too low._

_Jaeha lost the last bit of patience he had never had. He shrugged Taki off from his arm harshly, pushing the boy too hard._

_Niki escaped his own fight, running to his best friend. “TAKI”_

_Taki lost his balance. He couldn't feel the wall behind him, he saw himself slipping from the window. He couldn’t reach Niki’s hand._

_Niki was horrified. He saw red, he saw the color slowly escape from Taki’s body who laid on the ground, lifeless._

_“Shit.” Jaeha cursed. “Let’s go.” He told his lackeys._

_Niki stunned in his place, he saw some people start gathering around his best friend, some of them looked like they were calling someone._

_Niki stared at his own hands, those hands that failed to reach for his best friend’s._

* * *

“Niki?” That snapped Niki from his thoughts.

Sunoo looked at the other with a worried expression. They were eating lunch in the cafeteria as always. 

Niki’s head had been pounding for hours. He had woken up drenched in sweat this morning, lately he had this strange nightmare, he dreamed about his best friend, Taki. The scene from before playing over and over in his head, the way his hand reached to nothingness. 

“Are you okay?” Sunoo asked the younger.

Jungwon and Daniel perked their ear, they looked up from their food. “Niki? Are you sick?” Daniel asked him.

Niki shook his head. “I’m okay.”

He finally started to eat his food, it was already cold.

Sunoo placed his palm on Niki’s forehead, checking the temperature. “It’s a bit warm.”

“Maybe you caught a cold again Niki.” Sunoo continued.

Niki wasn’t surprised at that. The way his body endured all the fights he had gone through these days was quite impressive enough, so a mere cold wasn’t really that surprising for him.

“You woke up drenched in sweat this morning didn’t you?” Jungwon said. “I saw it.”

Sunoo turned his focus to Jungwon. “He did?” Sunoo placed his hand on Niki’s forehead once again. “Yep, it’s definitely a cold.”

Niki grabbed Sunoo’s hand on his forehead, gently removing it. “I’m okay Hyung.”

Actually the elder didn’t want to buy any excuse from him, but Sunoo supposed that he could bring Niki some medicine later, after school ended.

* * *

Jay munched his sugar cubes angrily. Why did he have to munch on something??

He looked at the pair who sat before him. Sunghoon was busy staring at Jake who was quietly eating his lunch. He then turned his gaze to another direction. He saw his other best friend sitting with some other people, he could recognize Niki amongst them.

“Fuck it.” Jay suddenly stood up from his chair.

“What?” Jake looked up from his meal and asked him.

Sunghoon turned to him as well. Jay sighed. “I’m done with you two.” He started to pick up his lunch. “I’m going to sit with Sunoo.”

Jay left both of them alone.

“Should we follow him?” Jake asked Sunghoon. The other shook his head before saying. “There won’t be enough space for us.”

Jake started to eat his lunch again, he said nothing.

Sunghoon felt something had happened. Jake was happy yesterday when he left him after their little unintentional date in the arcade. But strangely this morning, Jake had been really quiet. He looked like he got something on his mind all day.

“Did something happen Jake?”

Jake quickly snapped his neck toward Sunghoon. “Um, no. Nothing happened. Why?”

“It’s just that you’re so quiet today.” Sunghoon had an anxious face. 

The thing was, something had happened.

Last night, after Sunghoon went to his own room, Jake couldn’t sleep. He was too excited about yesterday's event. He was so happy that Layla was fine, and the fact that he got to spend some time alone with Sunghoon.

He thought about how to get himself tired already, he had school the next day. Then he saw the deer plushie on his desk. So, he decided to go to Heeseung’s room that night, Jake knew that the other couldn’t fall asleep before 2 AM, his sleep schedule was pretty messed up.

That was when he saw the door of Heeseung’s room slightly opened. He could hear noises from inside, like people conversing. He noticed the voices belonged to Heeseung and Sunoo. 

He thought it would be funny to surprise his friends, so he tiptoed to the door, he was about to open it when he heard something.

His hand on the door's handle fell to his side, the sentence was loud and clear.

_“Will you tell him Hyung?”_

_“Who?”_

_“Sunghoon.”_

_“About?”_

_“Your feeling, about how you truly feel towards him-” A pause._

_“-about how you ended up loving him.”_

Jake went back to his room with a heavy heart that night.

His friend, his reliable brother, person he respected the most, had fallen in love with the same person Jake had feelings for.

He felt conflicted. He knew that Heeseung had given up on a lot of things for others sake. Heeseung was always like that, he gave the last piece of his favorite cake for Sunoo when he saw the younger loved it as well. Heeseung gave up the dance club for Jay. He was offered to be the next leader of the dance club last year, but one day Heeseung just changed to music club out of sudden.

The reason was, he noticed that Jay wanted to be the leader of the dance club one day. And he couldn’t do that because of Heeseung. Their previous leader wouldn’t allow a first year to replace her if Heeseung was there, saying Jay was less experienced, saying he was simply too young.

Jay cried all night when he learned the real reason behind Heeseung leaving. They knew how much Heeseung loved dancing as much as he loved singing and making music. 

Heeseung was just that selfless. From simply sharing a cake, into giving up something as big as his passion. He was just like that.

And no doubt that the elder had given up his feelings as well, for their sake.

For Sunghoon and Jake.

And Jake didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Hey guys!” Jake looked up immediately when he recognized the voice.

Sunghoon turned his head to the side. “Heeseungie Hyung!”

Heeseung walked to their table, and sat in front of them. “Where are Sunoo and Jay?”

“They sat at that table.” Sunghoon pointed to a table far behind him.

Heeseung raised his eyebrows. “Then-” He had a playful gaze. “Did I disturb something here?” Heeseung acted like he was about to leave.

“What the hell Hyung.” Sunghoon laughed softly. Heeseung giggled as well.

‘Genuinely?’

‘Fake?’

Jake couldn’t imagine being Heeseung in this situation. Seeing the one he loved sitting alone having lunch with someone else. His heart would have broken a million times.

Even Heeseung could tease them about that all the time. 

He knew that his Hyung was always sincere with everything to them. And that broke Jake the most. How could a person be this genuinely kind?

Heeseung deserved everything in the world.

Jake looked at Sunghoon who talked animatedly to Heeseung. “Oh! and we got you a present!” Sunghoon turned to him. “Jake?”

Jake was bewildered. “Oh? Yea- yeah we got you a deer plushie yesterday.”

“A deer plushie? Why?” Heeseung looked at them amused.

“It looked just like you Hyung!” Sunghoon laughed. 

Heeseung smacked him with a file he had been holding the whole time. “You said I looked like a deer huh??”

Sunghoon still laughed. “See Jake? He smacked us for it.”

Jake tried to fake a laugh. It was hard, he had no idea how Heeseung could do that all the time.

Sunghoon turned to Heeseung again. “Well deer is cute! You should be grateful that we compared you to such a cute animal.”

“Well you’re right I’m cute.” Heeseung laughed at that. Jake couldn’t miss how the elder’s ears turned slightly a bit redder.

Heeseung faced him this time. “Where is the plushie then?”

“Ugh- in my room.” Jake said. “I’ll bring it to you later.”

Heeseung smiled at him. “Great!” He stood up. “Then I’ll get going, enjoy your date!” He wiggled his eyebrows to them before leaving.

Sunghoon laughed softly. “He’s so silly.” He turned to Jake.

Jake stared at the person sitting beside him. “Yeah.” Jake turned his gaze towards Heeseung’s figure that slowly disappeared between people in the cafeteria. “He is.”

He’s so silly to think that he didn’t deserve to feel.

* * *

Jay stomped his feets to the ground, he walked away from Sunghoon and Jake. He was so done with his friends!

Sunghoon had told them about their little ‘date’ yesterday. Jay thought that finally there would be some improvement to their relationship. But instead, Jake had acted so strange since morning, and Sunghoon couldn’t bring himself to ask what happened, he kept staring at the other. Even Jay could feel how uncomfortable the air was!

And Sunoo had left him to have lunch with Niki on top of that. He let Jay suffer alone yet again. It was always him all the time.

Maybe Jay could give Sunghoon and Jake some space, maybe they weren't able to talk because other ears were present. They should thank him for it. Sunghoon and Jake needed to treat him something good if they got together in the end one day.

Jay’s steps brought him near to Sunoo’s table.

“Yah Kim Sunoo!” Jay put his food tray on the table. “How dare you-” He was pointing at Sunoo when he noticed something.

“YOU!” Jungwon choked on his food when Jay turned to point at him.

“Oh my God Jungwon-ah!” Sunoo stood from his seat and gave Jungwon some water. “Drink slowly.” He told the younger.

Sunoo turned to his best friend after making sure Jungwon was okay. “What’s wrong with you?!”

Jay ignored Sunoo and went to sit on the vacant space beside Jungwon. He looked at him from head to toe. ‘Jungwon’ Jay read the name tag the other’s had.

Finally I found you.

Jungwon was visibly uncomfortable under Jay’s gaze. I mean- who wouldn’t be uncomfortable if Jay Park, one of the known school’s players staring at them this intently???

Sunoo was dumbfounded by his friend’s behavior. “Jay what the hell?”

“Ssst Sunoo, I finally found that boy I told you the other day.” Jay turned to Sunoo. “And did I just hear you cursing?”

“What do you mean- wait. Jungwon is the one you had been looking for?” Sunoo was bewildered.

“What? Why would Jay Hyung look for Jungwonie?” Daniel said, peeking out from Jungwon’s side to look at Jay.

“What? Why are you here?!” Jay was so confused.

The gear on his head worked so hard to make everything sense. But nothing came to his mind.

Jungwon was like a sheep caught in the daylight. He had been avoiding Jay these past few days after their encounter in front of the elder’s club room. He was so embarrassed that someone had captured him peeking that day, and it was Jay out of other people. And the fact that the person he didn’t want to see the most was looking for him surprised Jungwon the most.

“Hello Jay Sunbae, I’m Jungwon, Daniel and Niki’s friend.” He finally managed to say.

Ah- now everything made sense for Jay. Jungwon was looking for his friends, that was the reason why he peeked at the room. But why???

Jay was happy that he finally met Jungwon again. But why did he need to feel this happy?

Jay's head was full of ‘why’s. He looked at the other again. Trying to find any answer on those beautiful pairs of eyes.

He wasn’t blind, he could see that Jungwon was pretty, and those dimples, Jay wanted to poke them. Wait- what?

Jay turned to bang his head on the table.

“Jay!” Sunoo tried to stop Jay’s madness. “What’s wrong with you???” He cried out.

Jay felt his head landed on a soft surface instead of the table. He looked up, it was Jungwon’s hand, it supported Jay’s forehead, preventing it from hitting the hard surface.

“Sunbae are you okay?” Jungwon said softly.

“Oh-” Jay sat straight again. 

Sunoo let out a deep breath when he saw his friend finally gained some senses. He sat beside Niki again. The younger ran his hand up and down on Sunoo’s back, trying to calm him down.

“Hyung you’re scaring us!” Daniel yelled at Jay.

“Sorry, something is wrong with me today. Anyway-” He said. “Why did you leave that day?” 

Jungwon was flustered. “Ugh- I was in a hurry.” He lied.

Jay made a face that said ‘Ah that’s why’

“Why are you here Jay?” Any of Sunoo’s questions to Jay today was left unanswered. 

Jay turned to him. “Oh- right. You!” He pointed at Sunoo again. “You left me to be a third wheel again today.”

Sunoo rolled his eyes. “That’s not something new.”

“But they have been so awkward since morning!”

“Uhm- that’s right.” Sunoo had caught Jake staring at him secretly a couple of times since morning.

“Well it’s a good thing that you left them alone Jay. Maybe they had something to talk about alone.” Sunoo continued.

“I know right, I’m a genius.”

“Uh.” Niki finally said something for the first time. “Why did you look for Jungwon Hyung?” He asked Jay.

“Yeah! I’m curious too.” Daniel chirped.

Jungwon stayed silent. He sensed trouble.

“He had been peeking at our practice room for a while, when I wanted to ask what he wanted, he just left me!” Jay explained.

“Why did you do that Jungwon?” Niki asked his friend in turn.

Jungwon hesitated. “Umm It’s because both of you are leaving me alone.” He looked down at his plate. “It’s lonely you know.”

Fuck! Not only pretty, this boy was so cute as well. Jay swore he was about to lose his mind.

Daniel hugged Jungwon from the side. “Aw, we’re so sorry that you felt being left out.”

Niki laughed softly at them. “Yeah, we’re sorry Jungwon.”

Jungwon was sulking.

“You can come inside the practice room if you want.” Jungwon turned his head toward Jay. “You don’t have to peek from outside anymore.”

“Really Hyung?” Daniel asked excitedly. “Thanks Jay Hyung!”

Niki thanked the elder as well.

“Is that really okay Sunbae?” Jungwon asked softly.

Jay nodded. “He does that all the time.” He pointed at Sunoo. “You can watch us practicing.”

Smile florised on Jungwon’s face. “Thank you Sunbae.” His dimples grew deeper as his smile bloomed.

That was-

Jay turned his body and began to slam his head on the table again.

“Jay! / Hyung! / Sunbae!”

What a day.

* * *

  
  


The sky was dark. It seemed it would be raining soon. Niki looked at his phone, it was already 5 PM.

He was busy doing some work in his class alone. He didn’t realize it was already this late. Niki began to take the regular route to reach his dorm, Sunoo had warned him not to pass the other’s way. It was too dangerous for Niki, the elder had said. Bad people loved hanging out there.

The road was empty, Niki walked alone by himself. Maybe because it was cloudy and dark already, most people probably were in their room, hiding from the cold.

Niki’s head got no better since lunch, maybe Sunoo was right when he said Niki caught a cold again.

Niki remembered how worried the elder was. The face he made was kinda cute. Niki found himself smiling at the thought.

Something stopped his step.

Someone.

Some ones.

“Hi Niki.” Jaeha greeted the younger.

Niki counted the people’s heads fast. 

6

7

8

9

Did Jaeha plan to end him or what?

Jaeha usually considered enough not to send more than three people a day to Niki. But he thought maybe Jaeha had enough already.

Niki always sent his lackeys back with interest in the form of bruises.

Niki put his bag on the ground when he saw Jaeha started to come to him. He ducked Jaeha’s kick and tried to land a punch on him.

One of Jaeha’s minions ran toward him, Niki saw a wooden stick on his hand. He grabbed the wood when it was being swung at him, he didn’t realize that a small piece of wood pierced his hand. Niki took the wooden stick and used it to stop another one of Jaeha’s friends from hitting him with a bat.

His hand started to bleed. These guys really planned to harm him for real. Niki felt his headache coming again. It wasn’t a good time, the rain started to pour as well.

Niki was about to avoid another kick when he saw a flash.

Click

He turned his head toward sound. Someone was standing there, holding a phone, taking a picture of them.

Niki’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that person’s face. “Sunoo Hyung-”

All of them stopped fighting Niki and looked at Sunoo.

Sunoo adjusted his umbrella, he typed something on his phone. He put the phone on his ear. “Hello, Heeseungie Hyung, you saw the picture I just sent? Yeah, people are fighting on the school ground right now.”

“Shit!” One on Jaeha’s minion cursed loudly when he heard the student council president’s name being mentioned.

“Jaeha! We will get into trouble if Heeseung caught us!” They started to run away from the scene. They weren't immune to school law like Jaeha.

Jaeha spat on the ground. “Fuck.” He threw away his own bat and started to go away, following his friends.

* * *

Niki stood there, under the rain. He looked at the other expression as Sunoo lowered his phone. He could see the bitterness on Sunoo’s face.

The elder must be really mad at him right now. He had promised to him that he wouldn’t fight with Jaeha anymore, but yet, here he was being caught by Sunoo himself.

Sunoo walked toward the younger. He placed the umbrella above both of them.

Niki saw a bag of medicine on the other’s hold. He must be on his way back from the pharmacy near the school.

“Hyung.” Niki began. “I’m-” He couldn’t finish his sentence, Sunoo dragged him away.

Sunoo grabbed the fabric of Niki’s uniform, he pulled Niki, silently telling him to follow the elder. Niki was confused, wasn’t Sunoo mad at him? Why did he say nothing?

He grabbed his bag on the ground before following him. “Ugh let me-” Niki took the umbrella from Sunoo, holding it for them. Sunoo stared at him at first, he then let go of the umbrella’s handle, and instead placed his hand on top of Niki’s, holding it together.

They walked in silence.

* * *

Niki washed his hand under running water on Sunoo’s bathroom. They were in Sunoo’s room yet again, Niki felt deja vu. The other had told him to clean his hand first, while Sunoo was preparing something to dress his wound.

His hand stung a bit, he tried to remove the piece of wood that pierced there. Niki turned off the water, he walked into Sunoo’s bedroom, the other was sitting on his bed.

Sunoo looked at the younger who stood awkwardly on his bathroom door. “Come here.”

Niki obliged immediately, but, instead of sitting on Sunoo’s bed like last time, he chose the floor in front of the elder instead.

“Why are you sitting there?” Sunoo patted the space beside him, he had a bandage on his pale hand. “Sat here.”

Niki shook his head. “My clothes are wet, I don’t want to dirty your sheet.”

Sunoo stared at the other, well Niki was right, he was drenched. Sunoo silently stood and opened his wardrobe. He took out one of his shirts and a pair of sweats and gave it to Niki. “Change into it, you have a cold already.”

Niki did everything Sunoo told him. He took the clothes and changed right away in the bathroom.

Sunoo handed him a paper bag to put his wet clothes away.

After that, Niki sat on the floor again. “Ugh, the floor is comfortable.” He said when Sunoo threw him a look.

Sunoo rolled his eyes at Niki’s answer. “If you say so.” He started to open a bottle of disinfectant. “Hand.”

Niki gave Sunoo his wounded hand, he shifted closer to Sunoo, the elder began to clean his wound.

The younger realized how close he was with Sunoo, he practically faced Sunoo’s lap. He looked up at the elder who was focusing on cleaning his wound.

Sunoo put something on Niki’s hand, it stung a bit. “Hold for a bit Niki.” He said softly.

He then began to put the bandage on Niki’s hand. 

Maybe it was the cold, but Niki felt extremely drowsy right now. His head was heavy. Niki put his head on Sunoo’s lap, laid it there.

Sunoo said nothing at that. He silently continued dressing his wound.

When Sunoo was done, he put down Niki’s hand. The younger retracted his hand. Sunoo caressed Niki’s hair. The other started to sink deeper on his touch. He could tell that the younger already closed his eyes. Sunoo smiled at that.

Sunoo watched the way the younger’s hand started to come closer around him hesitantly. The elder continued to stroke Niki’s hair, Sunoo’s touch was comforting. Niki settled on playing with Sunoo’s hem.

They stayed like that without saying anything for some time. It was Niki who broke the silence. “Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Are you mad at me?”

Sunoo cackled softly. “No, why?”

Niki raised his head from Sunoo’s lap. Looking at the elder. “Why aren't you mad at me?”

“Do you have any reason for me to be mad at you Niki?”

“I promised you not to fight with Jaeha again, yet I-” Niki couldn't continue it.

Sunoo smiled at him “It’s okay, it’s a good thing that you remember the promise tho.” He brought his hand to stroke Niki’s hair again, he loved playing with it. “And I know Jaeha must have started it first.”

Niki felt a burden had been lifted instantly from his shoulder. “Thanks Hyung.” He slumped down again on Sunoo’s lap. He didn’t know where he got the courage to do so, he blamed it on the cold.

Sunoo laughed softly at the younger. Niki became so clingy out of sudden. He felt the younger shifted even closer than before, Sunoo’s heart skipped a beat at that.

“Hyung.” Niki called the other.

Niki had been thinking of telling Sunoo about everything, about him. But he kept hesitating over and over again. But being like this, under the other’s reassuring touch, he couldn’t help but feel at ease. As if all of his worries just disappear with each of Sunoo’s stroke on his hair.

Niki took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I- I want to tell you something.”

* * *

The clock tickling, Sunoo didn’t know how long they had been staying like this. With Niki’s head on his lap, and the younger basically telling him the story of his life, the one that apparently looked like hell.

He gave the younger some comforting touch there and then, everytime he felt Niki tense. Sunoo listened quietly. 

“-then suddenly he just disappeared, I can’t reach him at all.” Niki told him about how his life after Taki disappeared, how his classmates accused him of something the younger didn’t even do.

Niki told him about his encounter with Daniel, about how he finally gave up on looking for people’s acceptance. 

The day they met for the first time, turned out to be the beginning of Jaeha’s ruthless attack on him.

“It was funny, how I found you in the middle of my hell.” Sunoo didn’t quite understand what the younger had meant with that.

Niki continued the story until the end, until today, the day Sunoo saved him once again. “Thank you for saving me once again Sunoo Hyung.” Niki looked up at him.

They stared at each other.

“Thank you for telling me all of this Niki.” Sunoo smiled sincerely. “I’m so grateful that you finally told me this.”

“You know, I’m so mad at your classmates right now!” Niki was amused at Sunoo’s reaction. “And don’t worry, I’ll kick Jaeha’s ass for you one day.” The younger laughed softly. He had imagined the elder’s reaction for his story, and it had gone exactly like this. Sunoo got worked up and threatened to hit someone.

“You don’t have to feel alone anymore Niki. You got me.” Sunoo’s smile bloomed. “And Jungwon, Daniel, even Jay, Sunghoon, and Jake!” The elder said excitedly. “Oh- I’ll introduce you properly to Heeseung Hyung later.”

Niki hadn’t met the eldest since the day Heeseung had taken him to his room that night. He didn’t get to properly thank him yet. Yeah, he wanted to meet Heeseung again.

Niki felt his phone buzzing in his pocket out of sudden. Sunoo stopped his chattering when he noticed the expression on the younger’s face when he saw something on his phone.

Niki looked up at Sunoo. “Its-” He glanced at the younger’s phone. Sunoo’s eyes opened widely.

They stared at each other. Niki’s expression was unreadable.

The caller’s name was written on his phone, it was bright and loud. Niki read the name again.

_Taki is calling..._

to be continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! Finally I manage to update this AU again. I was so happy that a lot of people find this story interesting!  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, I always read each of them repeatedly haha, I just love it so much!  
> Please let me know if you like the chapter!!  
> I hope you like the update today!! You can find me on twitter @yeonlyfe! Have a nice day!!
> 
> ps. say hello to our baby Taki!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night was cold, but being together with each other like this, he felt even winter could turn into summer as long as he had the other, here, with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This will be the last update before my midterms start, I'll be gone for a while. Please wait for the next update patiently!! Thanks!!
> 
> Ps. You can read my other Sunki AU while waiting for the next updates hehe (some shameless promo wouldn't hurt, would it)

The night was chilly, Sunoo could feel the cold in his bones. The rain had stopped, but the air was still too much for his weak lungs. 

His legs almost gave up on him when he reached the first floor of the dorm building. He was out of breath. But the person who ran before him seemed didn’t feel any of Sunoo’s pain.

“Niki!” Sunoo called the other. “Wait- ah.” Sunoo tripped on his own. Niki didn’t hear him and kept running into the parking lot.

“What-.” Sunoo reluctantly stood up on his own. He started walking, following Niki’s shadow who swallowed by the night slowly.

A few minutes ago, after the heartfelt moment between them, a phone call suddenly interrupted them. 

Sunoo was so eager for Niki to accept the call already. He was so excited that, the very night Niki told him about his past, the most important person in the story had suddenly called. It was like fate.

Sunoo was happy when finally the younger finally picked it up. Sunoo still remembered the face Niki made when he heard the voice on the other side of the call. He couldn’t even name all of the expressions on the younger.

Worried.

Fear.

Anticipation.

Excitement.

 _Yearning_.

The last one strangely gave Sunoo a pained pang on his chest. He couldn't feel like this, Sunoo wasn’t an egoist. And what the hell he even meant by that? He wasn’t someone that important. He was just apparently there, intruding Niki’s life with his noisy self.

Sunoo stopped his track. He stared into the distance.

Sunoo was happy that finally Niki got to meet his best friend he had been yearning to meet since forever.

He should be happy for him. He shouldn’t feel like this.

The ugly feeling in his chest started to suffocate him slowly. For the first time in his life, Sunoo felt disgusted at himself.

* * *

Niki ran and ran, he didn’t even care to wear his shoes before leaving Sunoo’s room. 

“Shit-” He stepped on something sharp. 

He didn’t even stop to check if he hurt his feet yet again. His mind was filled with something else.

_“Hello?”_

_“...”_

_“Hello-”_

_“Niki?”_

Niki finally reached the parking lot. His eyes searched around for something. For someone.

He didn’t realize that he had been holding his breath, Niki let out the air when he saw him.

Niki took a deep breath before walking toward the person. That person was busy unloading his suitcase from the car, his parents helped him as well.

That person sensed Niki’s arrival and turned to him. A smile blooming beautifully on his face.

“Niki.” Taki called his best friend.

The said person immediately ran toward the other and hugged him close. Niki murmured ‘Thanks God,’ over and over again.

Taki hugged him back, smiling at the warmth of Niki.

Taki’s parents looked at them fondly. They knew how much the boys must miss each other.

The night was cold, but being together with each other like this, Niki felt even winter could turn into summer as long as he had Taki, here, with him.

* * *

Niki helped Taki to move the other’s suitcase to his dorm room. Taki’s parents just left a few minutes ago, saying they were sorry that they couldn’t stay for longer because of work.

Niki stared at his best friend who was busy arranging his belongings. Taki’s room mate wasn’t there, he had excused himself saying that he got something to do outside for a bit. Leaving the two best friends alone by themselves.

Taki looked fine, except the leg crutches he had to use to help him walk. Niki was grateful that Taki was alive and well, but he still felt bitter that his dream wasn’t just a nightmare.

Taki had fallen, Niki failed to reach him, and that was the fact that he could never change.

“Taki.” Niki called the other.

Taki turned to Niki, he had a smile on his face. “Yes Niki?”

Niki didn’t know how to start. He had a hard time arranging his own words. Taki sensed the confusion on his best friend's face, almost like he could hear Niki thinking too hard by himself.

Taki stood up, he used his crutches to support his body. This past few weeks he had mastered the tools. He was kinda proud of himself.

Taki sat beside his best friend who was sitting on his bed. “Niki?”

“How are you? Is it hurt so much?”

Taki smiled. “Not anymore.”

“Why did you never call me once?”

He was startled by Niki’s direct question. Taki swallowed his saliva, suddenly his throat was too dry.

“Niki-” Taki began. “I’m so sorry for not calling you all this time.” He stared at the other. “You must be worried.”

“My phone was broken, and I just managed to fix it a few days ago.” Taki continued. “And my parents told me to focus on recovering, they were busy with work already, and I don’t want to burden them with myself for any longer, that’s why I did just what they told me, getting better quickly.”

Niki stared at Taki. Sometimes his best friend just didn’t make any sense at all. But he chose not to comment on that, for now.

“How was your parents’ reaction to this incident?”

“Of course they were shocked and terrified.” Taki seemed to have something on his mind. “Um Niki.” He called the other.

“What is it?”

“I may be, or may not be-” Taki paused for a bit. “-not telling them about what happened actually.”

Niki was bewildered. What the hell does his best friend mean by that???

“What-” Niki pulled his own hair. “Why???”

Taki sighed. “The thing is…” He hesitated. “My parents work for Jaeha’s family.”

“What-” That left Niki speechless. How did that even get something to do with Taki not telling his parents about his near death experience?

“I just told them that I was playing too close to the window and accidentally fell, and that’s all.” Taki looked at Niki. “And I hope you won’t tell them the real reason Niki.”

“Why did you do that Taki?” Taki must have his own reason. Niki knew the other wouldn’t do something without thinking about it thoroughly.

Taki looked at his own lap, too shameful to see Niki. “You know that my family had financial problems, that was the main reason we left our home and came here.”

“My parents wished for a better life, and luckily my dad got accepted to work in Park Corporation as an assistance. He had worked there for almost a decade already! Even my mom started to work there a few years ago.”

Taki couldn’t thank Park Family more, his life slowly got better after his family became part of Park Corporation. They were good people. They even gave Taki scholarships to enroll in this school through their foundation. It was a shame that they loved their maknae too much, and ended up spoiling Jaeha. Taki witnessed in his own how much efforts Jaeha’s parents put on cleaning their son messes. 

The day Taki woke up from his coma, the first thing he realized was his parents crying, bowing in gratitude when they heard that Jaeha’s parents had paid all of Taki’s medical bills. They thought that it was simply the Park couple being generous to their loyal employees. 

But a few days after, Jaeha’s mom had come to his hospital room alone. Saying how sorry she was about what happened to him, Jaeha had told his mom about everything. She wished that Taki could forgive his son, and in turn Taki didn’t have to worry about medical bills and his parents being jobless.

It was cruel.

But Taki had no choice, he was only a child after all. The thought of his parents struggling with money terrified him. 

“I just can’t let my parents lose their jobs because of me.”

Niki was mad, but the look on his best friend made him realize that Taki really had no choice. Niki swung his arm around Taki’s shoulder. Taki rested his head on Niki’s shoulder.

Come to think of it. Niki realized something.

Few days after Taki’s incident. Their school accepted new sets of computers, enough to replace every single device in their labs. The name stamped on the boxes made Niki feel disgusted, Park Foundation, Jaeha’s parent’s. 

The way money could solve anything.

Niki wasn’t sure anymore when Taki told him how kind Jaeha’s parents were. Their blood was just as dark as their son’s.

“I’m grateful that you’re here with me Niki.”

“Me too, I’m so happy that you’re okay Taki.”

They smiled at each other. 

Suddenly the soft smile on Taki’s face was replaced with something amusing.

“What happened to you when I was gone, Niki?” Taki asked the other with a funny expression.

Niki looked at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“This.” Taki touched the fabric of Niki’s shirt. “Seriously Niki? I didn’t know you like pink!” Taki laughed at that, his best friend in his memory always wears something dark.

Niki flustered at that. “It’s not mine! It’s-” The realization finally came to him. “Shit.”

Taki was surprised when his best friend suddenly stood up, looking panicked. “Niki? Is there something-” 

“Taki, I’m so sorry, I need to leave now! I’ll talk to you later, or tomorrow!” Niki rushed to the door. “Good night!”

To say Taki was shocked was understatement.

What happened to his best friend when he was gone?

* * *

  
  


Sunoo was upset.

He sat on the bench near the parking lot, alone. He hurted his legs when he tripped before. It wasn’t hurt that much actually. But he couldn’t really bring himself to his room.

He didn’t even bring his phone, damn it!

Sunoo was just sitting there, doing nothing. He was upset with himself. How could he get jealous easily? That was just plainly stupid! It was towards Taki on top of that, Niki’s best friend for God’s sake!

Sunoo wasn’t even sure about his feelings toward the younger, yet he was this sad when he saw how Niki had ran toward Taki, completely forgetting about him. 

He didn’t get why he got this kind of ugly emotion, Sunoo hugged his best friends all the time, and he never saw the younger one make any sour expression.

Wait.

Does it mean that the feeling isn’t mutual?

“Shit.” Sunoo pulled his own hair in frustration. He really was Heeseung’s best friend, even their fates were similar, how lovely.

Sunoo was busy with his own thoughts, he didn’t realize that someone was coming closer to him.

“Hyung?” He was surprised when someone called him.

Sunoo turned around to see who just called him. Relief came to his face when he realized that he wouldn’t get kidnaped or murdered. 

“Daniel!” He chirped cheerfully. Trying not to show the heartbreak he just experienced. “What are you doing here?”

“Ugh, I was buying these. “ Daniel showed him the bag in his hands, it was filled with ice creams and snacks. “Do you want some Hyung?” He even held a half eaten ice stick.

Sunoo stared at the other dumbfounded, it was so cold, but Daniel had chosen to eat ice cream instead of something warm. This child was something.

He shook his head.

Daniel looked at Sunoo, he looked like he was thinking of something. He put the bag he was holding into the bench. Daniel took off his jacket.

“You look cold Sunoo Hyung.” He put the jacket on Sunoo. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Sunoo thanked the younger. “What about you?” He motioned the jacket on his shoulder.

“I’m fine.” Daniel sat beside him. “What are you doing here Hyung?” He repeated his question.

That reminded Sunoo of his heartbreak again. It was shitty.

Sunoo didn’t really want to talk about it. “I just want to get some air.”

“Barefoot?”

Sunoo looked at his feets. Well, Daniel was right, he forgot to wear a shoe.

He felt pathetic. He wanted to cry.

“Eh? Hyung?” Daniel panicked when Sunoo didn’t answer him, but instead the elder teared up.

Sunoo didn’t care anymore, he cried his heart out.

Daniel was bewildered, people passing stared at them. What if they thought that Daniel made Kim Sunoo cry?! 

He didn’t know what to do, Daniel was freaked out, his last working brain cell told him to hide Sunoo’s face. So, that was what he was doing.

Daniel pulled Sunoo to him, he hugged the older, hiding Sunoo’s face on his chest. Silently praying that people stop staring.

Sunoo was too upset, he couldn’t stop the tears. 

His mom would disown him if she found out that her son was this stupid.

* * *

Niki ran as fast as he could. He swore he hadn’t run this much before. He reached Sunoo’s floor breathless, how many stairs had he taken? He was just too impatient to wait for the lift.

Niki could see the door slightly ajar, he opened it immediately and disappointed when he saw no one was there. He was about to turn around and left when he stumbled upon something, shoes.

Apparently Sunoo didn’t wear one as well, his shoes neatly placed near Niki’s. He took Sunoo’s shoes with him, Niki noticed another thing placed on Sunoo’s chair, a jacket, his jacket that Niki had given to the other long time ago, he took it with him as well.

Niki turned his heels and rushed outside. He almost tripped a few times. 

He didn’t know what to expect. Maybe Sunoo was in his best friends’ room, maybe Sunoo went back to his room by now. But the feelings that Sunoo was waiting outside for him scared him the most.

Niki knew that Sunoo wasn’t a fool, he wouldn’t stay outside in this cold weather.

That was why Niki left stunned when he saw him.

Outside, but not alone.

He didn’t know what went though in his mind, Niki just paced toward them. He stared at Sunoo’s feet, Niki was right, he didn’t wear a shoe. 

Niki noticed that the one Sunoo hugging was Daniel. There was something on Niki’s chest. Something burning.

“Sunoo Hyung.” He called the other gently. Daniel looked up at his friend.

“Niki?” The mention of Niki’s name got Sunoo’s attention, he pulled back from Daniel, he turned around to see Niki standing before him.

“Why are you here?” He said, genuinely asking. He should be with Taki, not here, looking like he just ran a marathon with jacket and shoes on both hands.

Niki was surprised when he saw tears on Sunoo’s face. “Hyung- What happened?” He reached out to touch the elder’s cheeks. 

Sunoo almost melted into Niki’s touch.

Niki pulled Sunoo’s arm, asking him to stand up. The younger noticed a jacket on Sunoo’s shoulder, he threw a look at Daniel, who immediately raised his hands in surrender.

Niki took Daniel’s jacket off Sunoo and semi threw it to his friend.

“What the-” Daniel was surprised by it.

Niki quietly put on the jacket he brought on Sunoo, he then crouched down to put the shoes this time. He noticed the swelling on Sunoo’s ankle.

“Did you hurt yourself Hyung?” Niki touched the swelling, Sunoo flinched. “Sorry.”

Niki stood up and asked the elder. “What happened?”

“I tripped.” Sunoo said short.

He was stunned when Niki turned around and crouched down once again. “Get on, Hyung.”

“No- no, I’m heavy.” Sunoo refused. 

“You can choose to get on my back, or be picked up with my arms.”

The thought of being picked up on arms by Niki brought color to his face. Stupid heart!

Sunoo reluctantly got on Niki’s back. He turned to Daniel to say goodbye.

Daniel was about to answer it when he saw Niki once again threw him a look. Daniel settled to waving instead.

Niki left with Sunoo on his back.

When Daniel saw them enter the building, he yelled. “Jealousy is a disease just you know!”

He laughed by himself. When he realized-

“Wait- my ice cream!” 

Daniel sadly picked up the remaining of his ice creams, it melted already. Now it was his turn to cry.

* * *

Niki waited for the lift to bring them into Sunoo’s floor. They were silent, no one dared to break it. Sunoo hugged Niki’s neck tightly, he was still sobbing.

“You- you can put me down.”

“It’s okay, you hurt because of me.”

“I’m not!”

“Yeah you are, you followed me and ended up tripped.” Niki adjusted Sunoo on his back. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

Sunoo's heart broke a little. “It’s okay.” He didn’t dare to ask about Taki.

The lift opened. Niki walked toward Sunoo’s room. When he reached the door, he finally put down the elder.

“Thank-” Sunoo’s tears flowed again when he saw Niki’s feets. 

Niki panicked, why did Sunoo cry again?? “What’s wrong Hyung?”

“You’re stupid!” Sunoo hit Niki’s chest with all of his might. “You brought mine but look at your feets!” Niki stared at his own feets, oh shit, is that dried blood?

“It’s okay Hyung, I can treat it later.” Niki used his thumb to wipe Sunoo’s tears. “Now go inside, it’s cold.”

Sunoo just stared at him before opening his door and went inside.

Niki sighed, he was about to turn around and went to his room when he heard Sunoo’s door opened again. “Niki!”

Sunoo walked to him, a lil bit limping. “You need to get a treatment tomorrow Hyung.” Niki said to him.

The other handed him his bag, and some more things. “Use this to clean the wound, and this-”

Niki was stunned at that, Sunoo was hurting himself, and yet he still thought about Niki. 

“Hyung.” Sunoo was still explaining things to him. “Sunoo Hyung.”

Sunoo looked up at him finally. He didn’t get to ask what’s wrong because the younger had pulled him close. Wrapping him with his arms. 

“Thank you, and I’m so sorry for before.” Niki said softly, he breathed into Sunoo’s neck. It was always calming to smell the elder.

“It’s okay.” Sunoo tried to calm down. “You need to go back already.”

Niki reluctantly pulled back from Sunoo. He took the things from Sunoo and left after saying good night.

Sunoo was left outside of his room, watching Niki disappear on the corner of the hallways. 

* * *

He went back to his own room, and locked it. 

Sunoo stared at the shoes he was wearing. He felt stupid.

He sat on the floor and hugged his own legs close.

Being in love was hard, Sunoo wouldn’t get used to it soon, he was sure.

* * *

Heeseung was reading his textbook when he heard a knock.

He put down his book and took the door.

It was familiar somehow. Sunghoon being in front of him around midnight, with something on his hand.

“Hey Hyung.” Heeseung stared at the plushie on his hand.

Sunghoon handed it to him. “Look, it’s cute isn’t it?”

“Why are you here? Jake said he will bring it himself.” Heeseung stepped away from the door when he sensed the younger wanted to stay for more.

“Tell me about it.” Sunghoon sat on Heeseung's bed. “I was bringing Jay’s homework when suddenly he threw the doll to me and told me to give it to you.”

“He seemed moody.”

“He is! His mood is so unexpected these days! He was happy yesterday on our date-”

Heeseung didn’t really pay attention to the remaining words Sunghoon said. He focused on the word ‘date’.

Ah, they had a date.

Heeseung stared at the plushie in his hand. He smiled, the gift from Jake and Sunghoon’s date.

Heeseung walked to his desk and brought out a paper bag to Sunghoon. “It’s a shame, I even bought his favorite sandwich.”

Sunghoon took the bag. “Wow Hyung, Jake will be disappointed if he knows what you’re preparing haha.” He brought out his phone and took some pictures to send to Jake.

“Huh?” Sunghoon dug the bag. “It’s my favorite!”

Heeseung smiled at the younger. He had initially bought some of Jake’s favorite sandwiches. But he saw another pastry, and couldn’t help but buy it when he noticed Sunghoon’s favorite.

“And Jay’s! Oh Sunoo’s as well!” Yeah, Heeseung just couldn’t help. “Hyung, are you planning on feeding an entire family?”

The elder just laughed.

“Ah, this one is yours.” Sunghoon took out a pastry from the bag, it was a lemon cake, Heeseung’s favorite. He handed the cake to Heeseung.

Heeseung took it. He was a bit flustered. It was funny that he bought it by himself, but the way Sunghoon gave it to him, just made this cake more precious than anything. It was funny, he felt funny.

Sunghoon started to tell him about his day, about how strange Jake had behaved since morning, about Jay being dramatic over Sunoo eating lunch with underclassmen. And suddenly Jay was so giggly after lunch.

“You need to see it, Hyung. He was smiling on his own, it creeped me out!” The elder just giggled. He could imagine Jay being like that, things about him were always unexpected after all.

Being with Sunghoon like this, made Heeseung forget any burden on his shoulders. He didn’t even care anymore about the textbook he left opened on his desk.

He tried to be content.

* * *

Few days later.

Jay was furious. It had been days for fuck’s sake! It had been days since he gave Jungwon access to his practice room. He had expected the younger to be in his club the day after, but no, Jungwon wasn’t there that day, or the day after, or days after.

Was disappearing Jungwon's hobby or something???

Jay had been waiting for days, he learned to be patient, but he just couldn’t hold it anymore. He missed the younger already. And the fact that Sunoo didn’t have lunch with Niki these days gave him no reason to meet the younger. The timeline was too messed up!

That was why he was here. Sitting on the same table as the other first years. Huh, a new face?

“Hello I’m Taki.” Jay gave him a smile, well Taki was cute as well, but not as cute as the person in front of him, who tried so hard to focus on his apple pie, ignoring Jay’s existence.

“Why didn’t you come?” Jungwon looked up at that. He pointed at himself.

“I gave you permission to watch me practicing.”

“Um Hyung.” Daniel interrupted. “He wants to watch us-” He pointed at himself and Niki.”-practicing, not you.”

“Shut up Daniel.” He dismissed the younger. He looked at Jungwon again.

Jungwon didn’t know what to say. He intentionally did not come to the practice room despite the permission Jay had given to him the other day, simply because he was embarrassed.

And beside, being in Jay’s presence for too long wasn’t good for himself. Jay’s player nature gave Jungwon a bad impression on the other.

Jungwon always hated a player, he couldn’t fathom why people like Jay existed, couldn't they just be loyal to one person?

He had bad memories with a player when he was younger. 

Jungwon was only being cautious.

“I was busy, Sunbae.” He simply lied.

Being with Jay for too long was dangerous, he knew that already. Jungwon needed to keep their distance.

“When are you planning on watching them?” Jay emphasized the word ‘them’.

“I’m not that lonely anymore.” He reached Taki’s hand. “I have him.”

Jungwon was so grateful when Taki came back to school. His classmates had asked him about what truly happened that day, and Taki’s explanation gave a new air in their class.

Some of them walked toward Niki and apologized for being rude these past few weeks. And Jungwon could even see that some of the girls in his class started to openly show their interest toward Niki. Hell they were too late, Niki’s eyes already settled on someone else.

And talking about that.

“Sunbae, can I ask you a question?”

“You just rejected me and now you want me to answer you?” Jungwon was dumbfounded at that. When did he rejected-

It wasn’t important.

“Sunbae.” He said short. Jay just perked his ears. 

“What is it?”

“Why didn’t Sunoo Hyung come these days?”

Niki turned his head. Sunoo had been vanishing since the last time he left the other on his door. It was almost a week, and the elder was just simply disappearing. 

He still answered Niki’s texts and calls, but it wasn’t the same. Something was wrong.

“Oh, he is sick these days, his parents take him home to see his doctor.” Jay said. “He said he’s coming today or tomorrow.”

Taki turned to them, interested. “Who?”

“Ah yeah, you haven’t met him. He’s a kind senior who takes care of Niki when you’re gone.” Jungwon explained. Niki threw him a napkin.

Daniel laughed. “You know Jungwon-” He turned to his best friend. “You have to see Niki when he is jealous-” Niki threw another napkin at Daniel.

Niki tried to stop him from saying nonsense. except it wasn't bullshit.

“Tell me!”

Jay was fussing asking what happened. Chaos erupted afterward.

* * *

Jake was browsing into books in the library. He wanted to read this novel Sunoo had told him a few days ago. He said it was something about a soulmate.

Jake said to Sunoo that the concept of soulmate was too cheesy. But he just got smacked on the head instead by the other. Sunoo said it wasn’t cheesy or cliche, it was classic.

The story Sunoo had told him was about someone who had two soulmates. It was pretty interesting, usually people only ended up with a soulmate, or none at all, but two? That made Jake curious.

He felt that his situation was pretty similar to that. Two people crushing on one same person. Jake wanted to laugh at himself.

These days, he had been trying to give Sunghoon and Heeseung space.

He always left them together when he could. Maybe it was obvious, but Jake was trying okay? Acting wasn’t his expertise!

Jake saw the book he was looking for on the top of the shelf. Damn it, it was too high for him to reach.

Suddenly a hand came from behind him, taking the book Jake had been aiming to reach. That person gave the book to Jake.

“Here.” Heeseung handed the book.

Jake was a bit stunned, he didn’t take the book from him. “Oh- hi Hyung.”

“What book is this Jake?” The elder asked him. “I don’t know that you like romance.” Heeseung read the summary.

“Ugh, Sunoo told me this is good.”

“Really?” Heeseung smiled. “Give it to me if you’re done with that, I’d like to read it as well.”

“Okay Hyung-”

“Jake I found it!” Jake was surprised when someone called his name.

Sunghoon walked toward them. “Hi Heeseungie Hyung! Huh?” Sunghoon saw the book on Heeseung’s hand.

He looked at the book on his own hand. It was the same. “Ah you found it already.” Sunghoon turned to Jake. “You know, I was waiting for someone to finish it there!” Sunghoon pointed behind him. “She noticed me and gave the book out of pity!”

Heeseung laughed softly. They were in the library after all. “You must looked so stupid that she gave it to you!”

Jake stared at both of them, who were holding the same book.

_“You know, the most favorite part of the story for me is, when the main character met in the book store, they were holding the same book! It was like fate you know? They ended up having a discussion about the book together.” Sunoo said to him. “That’s the beginning of their relationship, how romantic is that? Being together because of a book!”_

Jake shook his head, trying to dismiss the crazy thought. Screw Sunoo and his spoiling hobby.

“This book is about soulmates.” Sunghoon said. “Do you believe in soulmate Hyung?” 

“I don’t know, maybe you’ll believe in soulmates if this particular person being yours.” 

“That-” Sunghoon was speechless. His Hyung always loved teasing him. 

Heeseung turned to Jake. “What about you Jake?” He eyed Sunghoon. “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Did Jake believe in soulmate? He didn’t know. 

He looked at Sunghoon who had an anticipating look on his face. Waiting for Jake’s answer.

Jake wanted to believe in soulmates. He wanted to believe that there was someone out there being made specially for him, and him only that he didn’t have to worry about being tangled in such a love triangle he experienced right now.

He wanted his soulmate to go by the name Park Sunghoon, if that wasn’t too much. God did you hear him?

Jake took a step backward. “No, I don’t believe in soulmates.” He turned his heels after saying. “You can have the book first, Hyung! I need to go.” Sunghoon was about to follow him. “No- I can go alone.” And left.

Heeseung was confused by the younger behaviors lately.

It was as if.

Jake knew something.

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so grateful that you're reading this AU! I was so happy when reading the lengthy comments on this work. I read them over and over, they give me motivation to finish my assignments quickly haha.  
> But well, midterms are coming soon, and my assignments keep coming, so I'm thinking to take a break for a while to focus on them.  
> I'm not that confident with this chapter because I was in a hurry :(  
> I really want to reply to the comments properly, but yeah I'm not that good with words actually. Just you know that I'm so grateful for each of them!! They are so precious to me! Thank you a lot. Love you so much as well!!!
> 
> Please let me know if you like it or not!  
> Thank you so much for reading it! I hope you have a nice day!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He read that jealousy wasn’t something that bad if you know how to manage it well before the feeling turned into a chunk of toxin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably edit the tags as the story goes!

“Be careful.” Niki held Taki’s arm, helping him to climb up the stairs.

“The last one!” Taki exclaimed when he stepped onto the last stair that led them to the rooftop of their school building, their hideout.

Taki was slightly panting, it was hard to climb up the stairs while using crutches. But the view was worth it.

Niki and Taki walked toward their usual spot, just beside the storage room, it was perfect for them to hide there for hours. No one really came here anyway.

“Can you sit?” Niki asked his best friend. He thought it wouldn't be easy for Taki to sit with his leg.

“Just help me a bit.” Taki put down his crutches and held onto Niki once again.

Niki helped Taki to slowly sit down on the floor. He then placed Taki’s crutches on his side before joining Taki.

“Why would you insist on coming here anyway.” Niki turned to his best friend. “Look, you’re sweating.”

Taki chuckled at that. “You don’t have to be so serious! I’m okay.”

“That doesn’t answer my question Taki.”

Taki’s laugh died down little by little. He then smiled at Niki. “I just really miss this place.”

Taki looked around him. There was barely nothing, but strangely, he just missed this place so much.

The sky was pretty clear today, he was grateful, he didn’t really want to be drenched with the rain, he hated it.

It had been only a few days, almost a week, since he came back.

His classmates looked surprised when he walked into the classroom with Niki that day. Taki thought their stares were strange, the fact that their classmates immediately crowded his desk after Niki left to sit on his own desk didn’t help at all.

His classmates bombarded him with questions, from ‘Are you okay?’ to “Why did you come with him?’

That left Taki with more questions about what happened when he was away.

“Niki?” He called the other.

Niki looked at him “Hm?”

“I heard it from Jungwon.”

“About?”

Taki couldn't bring himself to ask Niki about everything, knowing that his best friend would simply shrug it off and saying it wasn’t important or so. It was just a part of Niki’s personality.

He hated making people worry about him.

That was why he asked other people, Jungwon.

To say Taki was shocked was understatement. He didn’t know that his classmates blamed his accident on Niki, he was shocked when he learned that his best friend was literally being an outcast because of something he didn’t do, and mostly he didn’t expect that Jaeha would mess with Niki after the accident.

“You’re being an outcast because of me.”

“I’m not.” Niki told him with a funny look. “You can’t be an outcast if you don’t care about people in the first place.”

“I’m not joking Niki.” Taki knew that deep down Niki must have felt worse than he liked to believe. Niki could be affected by other people so badly sometimes. He just didn’t want to admit it.

“Me too Taki.” Niki looked up at the sky above them. “It’s not important, and I don’t really care about making friends anyway.”

See? Taki was right. Niki just made everything so trivial, even something as major as this.

“Jungwon told me about Jaeha as well.” Niki turned his head to Taki at that.

Taki looked at his best friend. “I didn’t know that Jaeha would bully you because of me.”

Niki stunned. “It’s not because of you!” He tried to convince his best friend. “It’s just because I’m so nosy and he hated me.”

“But you crossed a path with him because of me.”

“Well, that’s true, but it was my fault to get on his nerves.” 

“Fuck Jaeha”

“Yeah, fuck him.” 

They laughed together. It was the only thing they could do about this reality, this tragedy that happened to them. Jaeha was the embroidery of catastrophe. And it was so frustrating that they weren't able to do anything to stop him.

Taki laid on his back. He was so tired, he had been avoiding crowded places from the first day, he didn’t want to accidentally bump into Jaeha and attracted his attention to him ever again. Jaeha found it interesting that a mere son from his parent’s employee could afford to be here. And he used all his spare time to harass Taki for it.

Saying he didn’t deserve it.

That Taki needed to serve him for his parents’ kindness.

Taki didn’t want to think about him right now, he finally got to talk to his best friend, and he wouldn’t want to spend the rest of it thinking about this particular jerk that had Park as their last name.

Taki found something interesting in the back of his mind.

Niki decided to lay beside Taki. “Lift your head a bit.” He let Taki use his arm as a pillow.”

“Hey Niki.” 

“What is it this time?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Sunoo Sunbae?”

“I’ll ask him if he wants to meet you someday.”

“Tell me about him.”

Niki’s gaze fell on him. “Why are you so curious about him?”

“Well, he made my best friend leave me alone when we finally meet after so long.” Taki figured the reason Niki left him that day after hearing Daniel’s story about Niki’s jealousy. “I’m mad that you don’t tell me that you have a boyfriend already.”

Niki looked flustered. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Taki laughed at Niki’s red face. “Okay if you say so.” Taki gave him a smile. “He seems to be so important for you.”

He noticed how anxious Niki was these days, he always checked on his phone, he looked like he was waiting for someone to call, to text or anything. His best friend always looked at the crowd, hoping to see a familiar sight of someone.

Taki noticed as well how reluctant Niki was to change the bandage on his hand for days, as if it was something so precious, and he refused to let it go. But Taki had to force Niki to throw it away at one point, he didn’t want his best friend to have an infection on his wound. He was sure that it was also Jaeha’s doing. It was always him. Taki was sick of it already.

“He is.” Niki lifted his other arm, he stared at his hand, his bandaging skill was far from Sunoo’s. It was too shabby. Sunoo had learned how to tend a wound better after constantly taking care of Niki. He even asked the school nurse to teach him.

Niki adored Sunoo for it. He couldn’t believe that someone cared this much for him.

“I met him by accident.” Niki couldn’t tell Taki that he was fighting with Jaeha’s minion when he met Sunoo. “There’s some incident, and he helped me, but Sunoo Hyung suddenly fainted.”

“You helped each other then?”

“Yeah, he helped me quite a lot of times after that.”

Taki smiled at that. He was glad to know that Niki wasn’t completely alone all these times.

“Sometimes I’m afraid that he stays around me just because he feels pity toward me.” Niki’s voice dropped low. “Not everyone has the kind of life I’m living right?” He laughed mockingly at himself.

“It may sound cheesy, but Sunoo Hyung is the one holding my life together right now.” Niki wasn’t kidding when he said that. For him, it was nothing but a fact that without Sunoo, his life would be a complete hell.

If Sunoo didn’t run to them that day, maybe Niki would end up being Jaeha’s punching bag today. Everyone had limits on holding pain, and Niki was close to giving up.

But this person just gave him something that Niki though wouldn’t be available for him anymore.

Sunoo just came to his life, showering him with love and care, if he dared to name the feeling he had toward the other.

What Sunoo did wasn’t simply tending his wounds, taking care of his cold, or helping him to pursue his hobby as a dancer.

Kim Sunoo gave him salvation.

“You sound so whipped already.” Taki commented. He elbowed Niki’s side. “I think you already found it.”

“What do you mean?”

“A home, here.”

Niki blinked his eyes. He recalled the conversation he had with Taki, here, months ago.

Taki continued. “How is it Niki? Your new home.”

Niki was only a teen, he didn’t really know how to use words to describe him, but maybe Taki was right, home was the closest word he could call him. “He is beautiful-” Niki held his breath when he pictured Sunoo’s smile on his mind. “-and warm.” He always felt so sheltered in Sunoo’s hold. 

“You don’t have to worry Niki.” Taki’s smile bloomed on his face.”From what I heard today, it seems that Sunoo Sunbae feels the same way with you.”

“Well I don’t exactly know about his feelings, but I’m sure he didn’t do all that out of pity.” Taki continued.

Niki seemed a bit unsure about something. “I’m not sure Taki, Sunoo Hyung was so kind to everyone, and he gets a lot of love letters in a day.”

“I don’t dare to think that someone as perfect as him, would feel something special towards me.” Niki continued.

“You can’t be serious right Niki? So what if he’s popular? Jungwon said he ate his lunch with you almost everyday!” Taki was bewildered. “If that doesn’t ring a bell in your head, you’re dumb Niki.”

“You don’t understand Taki, everyone falls for him, he could choose someone better to be with.” Niki turned his head to the side. “Even Jaeha has been attracted to him for months, almost years already.”

Taki immediately got up and sat. “What?!” He couldn’t believe what he just heard. “Is that another reason why does Jaeha mess with you?” That was the first thing that crossed his mind. It seemed like Jaeha always had his ways of creeping into their life.

“Probably?” Niki sat and shrugged his shoulder.

Taki was terrified. Jaehaa was cruel enough without reason, and he knew that the elder was quite possessive of something he labeled as his. He remembered that one day, Jaeha caught one of his maids playing with his dog, and the next day, Taki heard that the poor maid was already being fired.

Taki didn’t know what Jaeha would do to someone that was being close with the person he was interested in.

“Niki.” He called his best friend in a serious tone. “Jaeha hates it when someone ‘touches’ what ‘his’.”

“I know.”

Taki was astounded by Niki’s answer, before he could say anything, Niki continued. “But Sunoo isn’t his, Taki. He isn’t something Jaeha could put his label on.” Niki never looked at him with such a serious look. “He’s his own person.”

“That’s not what I mean, you know that Niki.” Taki said. “I’m just really worried. What did he do to you for it?”

“Beating me up? Something like that.” Taki couldn’t believe that Niki just said that as if he just named an activity he used to do on the weekend.

“I know what you’re thinking right now Taki.” Niki continued. “But if it takes me getting away from Sunoo Hyung to stop Jaeha from beating me up-” A look of determination on Niki’s face. “-then let him spend the rest of his life trying.”

Niki was confident that Jaeha wouldn’t lay a finger on Sunoo. And even if one day -God forbid- he did, that would be the last of him, Niki would make sure himself.

* * *

Daniel was packing his bag, they were just done with the dance training today. Niki had ditching today’s practice to spend some time with Taki, leaving him alone with a very moody Jay.

Jay was ruthless when he was mad, he would use his leader's privilege to make them practice until there’s no energy remaining on their body. Sometimes, it was unintentional, he was so frustrated that he couldn’t help but burn his anger with dancing.

And Daniel hated these kinds of days.

It was already 8 PM. He felt sore all over his body. Jay stopped the practice only after Sunghoon forcefully turned off the CD player and spilled a bottle of water into Jay’s head.

He was glad that tomorrow was the weekend, maybe he could sleep all day.

Daniel looked at the mirror, some of them were already out the door, he could see that Jay and Sunghoon were still bickering on the side. Jake just looked at them while laughing.

Daniel was about to leave as well, but someone stopped him.

“Hey Daniel.” Jay walked to him, a smile on his face. Daniel smelled trouble.

“Ugh, yeah Hyung?” He looked at Jay suspiciously.

“I’m going straight into the point here.” Jay said.

“You aren’t straight at all Jay!” Jake yelled from the door before leaving with Sunghoon.

Jay turned around to curse at his friends.

He then faced Daniel again after that. “So, I want you to help me to get to know Jungwon.”

“What?” Daniel was dumbfounded. “You knew him already!”

Jay rolled his eyes. “That’s not what-” He sighed. “I want to get closer to him.”

Jay knew that Jungwon wouldn’t just fall on his look alone, he couldn’t sit around just waiting for the younger to finally see his charm. He needed to do something.

He was tired waiting after practice for Jungwon. And listening to his excuse made Jay realize that the younger wasn’t interested in him at all.

Jay couldn’t believe that.

“You can help me to have a coffee or something with him.” Jay explained.

Daniel shook his head. “No Hyung, I don’t think I can help you with that.”

This time Jay was the one who got confused. “What- Why??”

Daniel knew that Jungwon had a bad experience with a player some times ago, and that left the other with some kind of trauma. Daniel was worried for his best friend, Jungwon never felt love since then, he was afraid of falling, he was afraid of what was waiting for him far down the ground.

Daniel wished for Jungwon to believe in those feelings once more.

But, he didn’t want to force his best friend out of his comfort zone. “He hates-” you. Daniel was about to say that Jungwon hated Jay. “-um someone like you?” He tried to work his brain, but the result was just as bad.

“What the-”

“Player! He hates player Hyung.” Daniel quickly added. “And you’re aware that you-” Daniel pointed at him. “-are one.”

Jay bewildered. He knew that he didn’t stick around someone, he loved freedom, he said it multiple times already that he hated being tied down. He was okay being called a player because of it before. But why did after listening that Jungwon hated players, he immediately despised that name?

“I’m not!”

“Yeah Hyung, too bad, you are a player.” Daniel was about to leave.

Jay grabbed his arm. “Daniel, listen to me.”

“I don’t know the reason why Jungwon hates players. But I just want to be his friend-” Daniel gave him a look of distrust. “for now.” Jay added in a tiny voice.

Daniel let out a breath. “Hyung-”

“No no Daniel, you need to trust me. I mean, yeah, I’m a bit of a player, but I don’t think I’m really one!” Jay was trying so hard. He couldn’t remember if he ever tried this hard to get close to someone before.

He just couldn’t give up on Jungwon yet. 

“But I always make my intention clear, you know that! Everyone knows already that I don’t want to be in any relationship even if I flirt with them.”

“And what do you want with Jungwon, Hyung?” Daniel asked him. “Do you want a relationship with him?”

That’s- Jay didn’t know.

Something about Jungwon was just so different that he couldn’t help but be interested in the younger. But he never considered that Jungwon hated him, well technically not him, but generally him.

And honestly? That hurted.

Jay might be a player, but he hated making excuses, and lying. “I don’t know Daniel, I just want to get to know him better, for now.” He let go of Daniel's arm.

Daniel was contemplating. He trusted Jay, he knew that the elder was a good man despite his player nature.

He looked at Jay from head to toe. The other was confused with Daniel’s sudden behaviour. 

Maybe Daniel could give Jungwon a chance to heal his past trauma through Jay. Daniel was thinking so hard. It was for his best friend’s sake after all. He needed to be careful.

“Give me a chance Daniel, I promise I won’t mess it up.”

Daniel had made his choice.

“I’ll let you skip the practice for two weeks if you help me.” Jay suddenly said.

Daniel blinked his eyes. His gaze never left the nervous Jay. “Hello Jungwon? Do you still want to watch that movie tomorrow?” He talked to his phone.

Jay jumped around him and punched the air excitedly.

Finally, he got a chance he needed.

* * *

Jungwon was unamused.

He looked at the man who slowly walked toward him with drinks and popcorn on his hands. 

Daniel called him last night, asking him if he still wanted to watch the movie that just aired last week with the other. He added that they would watch it with another friend of Daniel. Jungwon didn’t expect that ‘the friend’ would be Jay.

To add into his frustration. Daniel had the audacity to be late. Jungwon couldn’t even reach him, he must be slept in again.

It was such a bad idea to watch a movie at 11 AM on the weekend. Why did he agree in the first place?

Jungwon looked at the elder who was struggling to keep everything balanced on his hold. 

“Can you at least take the drink?” Jay asked him when he arrived in front of Jungwon. “I’m struggling here.”

A cup of extra large coke on each hand and a large bucket of popcorn held close to his chest. Yeah, no wonder he was struggling.

Jungwon gave him a look before reluctantly taking a cup from Jay. He then turned around and walked into the cinema. The movie would start in 15 minutes.

He realized that it must be Jay’s plan in the first place. He should have known that it was fishy that Daniel, who hated sad movies, asked him to watch this movie together. 

What annoyed him the most, the fact that his best friend just played along with Jay’s antics. Didn’t Jungwon make it clear enough that he hated someone like him?

They found their seats. Jay had paid for the tickets along with the drink and popcorn. Jungwon let the other choose the seat.

Jungwon wasn’t impressed when Jay chose the seat far on the back of the cinema. Typical. Well at least, he chose the center, Jungwon could see the screen clearly.

Jay placed the popcorn on Jungwon’s lap. That made the younger confused. “I heard you only eat butter-flavored one.”

Jungwon looked at the bucket of popcorn in his lap, it was butter-flavored. “Thanks.” He said in a low voice.

Jungwon tasted the popcorn. He then offered some to Jay. “No thanks.”

“But you bought it.”

“I hate butter.”

Jungwon was stunned. Jay hated butter but he bought a whole bucket of butter-flavoured popcorn. That didn’t make any sense. “What do you like then?” The look on the elder’s face told Jungwon that even Jay didn’t expect such a question from him.

“Caramel.” Jay always loved sweets. He even had a habit of drinking honey right from its bottle when he got stressed. Seems like he had a lot of habits.

And Jungwon was sweet. No wonder Jay was so attracted to the younger.

Jungwon turned his gaze into the screen, choosing not to add any comment or question. The way Jay looked at him just made him nervous, as if the elder tried to read the thought out of Jungwon’s head.

He chose to munch on his popcorn.

Jungwon knew it was a bad idea when he choked on it.

Jay immediately handed him a drink. Jungwon took it gratefully, only to realize that it was in fact not his own cup, but Jay’s, after taking a sip.

He gave the cup back to the owner, who took a sip straight away. “Is it that good? You need to slow down.” Jungwon felt heat on his face. “Eat slowly.” Jay said before turning to see the ads on the screens.

Shit, did Jungwon just embarrass himself in front of Jay? And what was that? Was it basically an indirect ki-

Jungwon shook his head. It wasn’t the time to get flustered over a cup of drink. What was him? A 10 years old? He was too old to be shy because of these trivial things.

The movie started.

* * *

  
  


For the rest of the movie, Jungwon was so hooked up that he didn’t pay any attention to his surroundings.

He was so focused, the plot was just right on his taste, and the acting of the actors made him emotional. A tear fighted its way out of his eyes when the scene unfold in front of him.

The main character didn’t realize that the person in front of him wasn’t his lover, but only his hallucination for his lover had already passed away months ago.

The main character broke down when he realized the truth. It looked so painful.

Jungwon was wiping his own tears when he heard a sob from beside him. He turned his head to his side.

Jungwon fought hard to hold his laugh.

Beside him, Jay, looked so focused on the screen, his face full of tears, and Jungwon could even see the crumpled empty paper cup on his hand, it was clenched so hard.

Jungwon reached into his pocket, he always brought a handkerchief with him all the time. His hand got sweaty easily when he was nervous.

He handed the piece of cloth to the elder who quietly accepted it without looking away from the screen. Jay murmured a little thanks.

It was so funny for Jungwon, that Jay didn’t get embarrassed of it.

He spent the rest of the movie looking at Jay’s weeping.

* * *

“Oh my God, that was an emotional rollercoaster.” Jay said when they went out of the movie. “Thanks for it.” He held up Jungwon’s handkerchief. “I’ll give it back after washing it.”

Jungwon’s laugh finally broke.

Jay looked dumbfounded by the younger. Even some of the people who watched the same movie with them gave Jungwon a questionable look.

Who the hell was laughing after watching a movie with a sad ending??? Jungwon.

Jungwon’s laugh died down after awhile, he noticed the look on Jay’s face, he wanted to laugh once again. Jungwon tried to calm himself, but the image of Jay’s crying made him lose it.

“Jungwon, I don’t know what makes you laugh this much after watching that movie.” Jay sounded so serious. “But please, people are staring at us.”

Jungwon looked around, and Jay was right. He tried to calm himself properly right now.

Jungwon let out a deep breath.

“You’re okay?” Jay sounded so concerned.

“Yeah- I mean, yeah I’m okay.” Jungwon didn’t laugh this much lately. He felt the rush of energy.

“What makes you laugh like a madman anyway?”

“You.” Jungwon smiled.

“Me?”

“Yeah, the face you made when watching the movie was hilarious.”

Jay was dumbfounded. How could his expression become hilarious when he was busy crying because of the movie? Wait-

“You mean, the face I made when I cried?”

“Yeah.” Jungwon still found him funny. “It was gold.”

Jay always thought that his crying face was ugly, but not funny. Strangely, his friends found it funny as well at first, now they got used to it already, they were done teasing him long time ago.

He always got annoyed by his friends every time they teased him about it, but strangely, looking at Jungwon, who was fighting the urge to laugh at him was endearing. He concluded that he was okay being teased as long as he got to hear Jungwon’s laugh all the time.

“Let’s go.” Jay led the way. “I’m hungry from all that crying.”

Jungwon laughed once again before following the other.

Spending time with Jay wasn’t as bad as he thought.

* * *

  
  


Heeseung stood on the side of the road, his driver just dropped him off. He spent the night at his house last night, his mom called him, asking if Heeseung could come home and try the new recipe she learned lately.

His mom didn’t cook that often, she was too busy with work, but she always made sure to pack fruits for her son. That was why Heeseung was so excited to go home when he heard that his mom cooked something for him.

Today he was going to try this new VR place that just opened a few weeks ago with his friends. 

Of course, Heeseung had his own friends on his age, but he found himself being the most comfortable with the youngers, their silliness just so endearing, that Heeseung always wanted to join doing something stupid with them.

One time, they locked Jay in the practice room alone at night, and made some strange sounds to scare him. It was so funny that Jay believed that there was a ghost in their practice room until now. He didn’t know that it was their doing, Heeseung held his laugh behind the door when Jake and Sunghoon did their little prank on Jay.

He had been planning today with them since last week. But sadly, Sunoo was still sick and Jay called last night, saying he got something important to do. Heeseung wasn't surprised if Jay ditched them for his dates, it wasn’t something new after all. He was just feeling sorry towards Jay’s today’s date. Heeseung hoped they didn’t catch a feeling on his best friend.

That left him with Sunghoon and Jake. The three of them would be playing alone today. It was okay, it was better than being alone even if that meant Heeseung would be a third wheel today.

Heeseung felt sorry toward his best friends. He was so busy with work (and avoiding Sunghoon) that he couldn’t spend time with them. But when he finally got one, they couldn’t go together as five.

He would make sure they could go all together the next time.

“Hyung!” He heard Sunghoon call him from afar, he ran toward Heeseung while waving his hand over his head.

He was alone as well.

“Where’s Jake?”

Sunghoon panting. “He got sick this morning, he said he was too weak to make it.”

Heeseung raised his eyebrows. He knew that Jake was the least likely person to get sick between the five of them. It was rare to see him being sick. Heeseung supposed that was the reason the younger had been strange these past few days.

“Should we go check on him?” He asked Sunghoon. “You should have called me, why were you running here instead?”

“Nah, I stopped by to pick him up in his room, but he just yelled at me to go with you today.” Sunghoon said. “He didn’t even open the door!”

Sunghoon could hear Jake’s voice cracking, he must be really sick. He got worried, but the other insisted that he was okay, and Jake threatened to kick him if he left Heeseung alone today.

Sunghoon would feel bad as well if he ditch Heeseung today as well, he knew that the elder tried to make time for them in the middle of his busy schedule. He left Jake to rest today, maybe he could buy him something to make the other better later.

“Let’s go Hyung, let’s have fun and send the other pictures!” Sunghoon took Heeseung’s hand and dragged him. “Don’t you think it’s like a date?” He said lightly and laughed.

Sunghoon was always like that, throwing a joke around was his hobby. Sometimes it was so dry that Heeseung couldn’t help but laughed.

But today, Heeseung wanted to believe that Sunghoon wasn’t joking.

“It is.” He laughed with him.

* * *

  
  


They arrived at the VR place. It was crowded.

“Wow, that looks fun Hyung!” Sunghoon pointed at the mario kart, he was like an excited child.

Heeseung loved that part of Sunghoon, he rarely got excited over something, but when he did, his inner child just showed himself.

Well, Heeseung loved every part of Sunghoon anyway.

“Let’s try it!”

* * *

“Hyung! You need to shoot the head!” They were back to back, Sunghoon was busy shooting the animals on the screen. “The head!” They were just done playing two rounds of mario karts, and decided to try this shooting game.

“Head??” Heeseung was struggling because the animal just kept coming to his direction and he didn’t even manage to shoot one of them. What’s with flying pig anyway???

After listening to the younger, he finally managed to shoot the flying pig. “Yeah!”

“Hyung focus!” Sunghoon scolded him.

Heeseung laughed at that, Sunghoon was quite competitive. They tried so hard to defeat the boss.

“YEAH!” Sunghoon turned to Heeseung and gave him a high five, they managed to score some points in the last second.

“You’re so bad at it Hyung.” Sunghoon said when the staff helped him with the VR gun.

Heeseung laughed sheepishly. “Why don’t we try something I’m good at?”

* * *

“Come on Hyung.” Sunghoon looked at Heeseung. “Another shooting game? You said we’re trying something you’re good at.”

Heeseung just smiled. “Trust me, I’m good at this one.”

* * *

Heeseung laughed so hard. He braced himself to the metal cell in the room.

“Wait a second- What’s going on?!” Sunghoon screaming his lungs out right after the game began. It was a zombie shooting game.

“I can’t do this! ARGH” Heeseung wanted to fall on the ground, the younger looked so scared at the VR game. “What??? Where is it??”

Heeseung was so entertained just by looking at Sunghoon.

“Help! I can’t- ARGH” Sunghoon yetted the machine and fell on the ground.

He stayed laying on the floor. Contemplating his life.

“I told you-” Heeseung was busy laughing. “We’re doing something I’m good at.” He continued. “I’m good at laughing at you.”

Sunghoon stayed silent, he seemed regretting every choice he made in his life.

Heeseung loved every part of Sunghoon. His inner child, the competitive side, even this cowardly part of him. Every part of Sunghoon was enchanting.

“You need to see yourself.” Heeseung showed the younger the record of him screaming.

Sunghoon got up immediately. “Delete that!!”

“I’m going to send it to Jake.”

“NOOOO”

Heeseung had the laugh of his life.

* * *

Sunoo could see that the sky started to turn color. Today his parents just sent him to his dorm after spending the week being bedridden at home. He sat on the side of the bed. He was alone.

His doctor always warned him not to get too stressed, it wasn’t good for him. He said Sunoo could fall sick because of it. Sunoo didn’t even understand the way his body worked sometimes.

The reason for his stress was something he couldn’t really admit to anyone, even his doctor who tried so hard to get him healthy and being well again.

He was so ashamed of himself.

Jealousy wasn’t something familiar for Sunoo. He never desired for something he couldn’t acquire. Because Kim Sunoo always got everything he needed.

He knew he was being spoiled by his family, he was an only child after all, who would be spoiled by them if it was not Sunoo?

Sunoo never took something for granted even with the constant pampering from everyone around him. He learned to settle with enough from a young age.

His parents did a good job raising him despite the spoiling.

Being in love was such a new experience for the young Kim. He was wondering when he would get used to it.

He read that jealousy wasn’t something that bad if you know how to manage it well before the feeling turned into a chunk of toxin.

But he couldn’t help but feel ashamed of himself. Taki was Niki’s best friend for God’s sake!

They didn’t see each other for a long time. Even their parting was started by a tragedy. It was natural that Niki’s focus was directed only at Taki. Even the younger came back to fetch him!

Sunoo looked at the bag of meds on his nightstand. He took one kind of them out of the bag. He stared at the medicine on his palm.

Sleeping pills.

He just took them around an hour ago at home.

He had trouble sleeping lately, mostly because of his overthinking and pounding head. His doctor advised him not to take more than two pills at once. He joked that Sunoo could wake up the next year if he got an overdose.

Niki had mentioned that he wanted Sunoo to meet Taki one day through text, when the elder had time. 

Sunoo just couldn’t refuse the younger’s request. He wanted to meet Taki as well! He sounded so sweet in Niki’s story.

But he didn’t think he was ready facing him. 

He was so nervous, he probably would meet Taki tomorrow. He had told Niki that he would get back to the school today. 

Niki’s text radiated excitement, he was happy that Niki was excited about him being back. But he couldn’t help but feeling anxious.

Sunoo was tired, he just wanted to rest. And he didn’t think sleep would come find him if he didn’t seek an aid from these sleeping pills. That was why he took them even if it was only 5 PM in the evening.

Sunoo started to feel drowsy. He was about to lay on his bed when his phone rang from his desk.

He wanted to ignore it and sleep already. But he hated the sound his phone made, it was too loud.

Sunoo’s leg was a bit wobbly, the effect of the sleeping pills his doctor prescribed to him was too good.

He tried to reach the phone, he was surprised that Niki’s name was displayed on the caller id. Why did he even call him so suddenly?

The phone fell from his grasp, luckily it landed on the soft carpet on his floor, his leg’s reflex sent the phone under his desk. He reluctantly ended up sitting on the carpeted floor.

Sunoo tried to reach his phone under his desk, he was so tired and drowsy that he just laid completely on his stomach.

When he finally reached it, he accidentally accepted the call. Sunoo turned to lay on his side. He just stared at his phone, sleep really got into him. The carpet was so soft and comfy.

He could hear Niki’s voice from the other side.

His mind was hazy. Well, he supposed he could call Niki back and explained later when he wasn’t drunk on sleep meds.

Sunoo didn’t know when he completely drifted to the land of dreams.

  
to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!! Happy Sunki Day everyone, yeah I'm trying to celebrate it by posting a chapter. I really miss writing, it's a good thing I can spare some times today! 
> 
> Thanks a lot for the kudos and comments!
> 
> How was the chapter? Please tell me about your thought! I appreciated every bits of words from you! I love reading the comments so so much, I mentioned that every time haha.
> 
> Well I hope you enjoy the chapter!! See you!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe, he was better than any sleeping medicine his doctor had prescribed to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update for Sunki Day!

Jake hugged the pillow he stole from Jay’s bed. It was dark already, but his roommate still wasn’t done with his date yet.

He had been moping around in his room alone all day. It was his stupid decicion to let Sunghoon spent the day alone with Heeseung.

His phone kept beeping for hours, he didn’t dare to look at any picture Sunghoon and Heeseung sent to their group chat.

He knew he was being stupid right now. But he kept contemplating the matter lately. He even lost sleep, and he was known that no one couldn’t really wake him up once he went to his slumber. And that meant it was really serious.

Jake didn’t really understand himself as well, he liked Sunghoon, but at the same time, the thought of Heeseung being hurt behind him wasn’t sitting right with Jake at all.

His Hyung deserved happiness just as much as anyone else, hell, he even deserved it more than anyone else!

What if Sunghoon ended up moving on from Jake and liking Heeseung instead?

“I don’t want that…” He hid his face on the pillow.

Why did he need to find out about the truth of Heeseung’s feelings right after he decided to open his heart to Sunghoon?

Then, what if he never found out?

He would end up hurting Heeseung even more. He hated that as well.

Jake was too busy with his overthinking, he didn’t realize that someone tried to come inside their room. He heard the beeping sound of the wrong password.

He secretly changed the password lock on their room this morning, after Jay left. He didn’t want Sunghoon to barge in and caught him crying while yelling at him to go finding Heeseung.

He thought that it wouldn’t be so hard to let go of his crush to go with someone else, but it hurted as hell. He didn’t understand how Heeseung did it all this time.

Jake walked toward the door, after the beeping sound went down and replaced with knocks.

“Wait a bit Jay!”

Jake made a quick round to the bathroom, he made sure that there were no tears left on his face, he splashed water on his face before opening the door for his room mate.

He was surprised to be greeted by a vinyl record of his favorite singer. The person holding it in front of their face.

“What the-” Jake said. The person lowered the disk, Jake was surprised when he didn’t find Jay behind it.

“Jakey!” Heeseung greeted him cheerfully.

That got him panicked. He didn’t expect Heeseung would be here today. He was supposed to spend the day with Sunghoon!

Jake looked around, Heeseung was completely alone.

“Look Jake, I know you prefer Sunghoon better than me.” Jake was surprised by that. “But please, can you focus on me??? I’m here!!”

“Oh- yeah, I’m sorry Hyung.” Jake didn’t know what to do. His mind couldn’t work properly. “Do- do you want to come inside Hyung?” Jake looked at the things on the elder’s hands. He got the vinyl record on the right hand and another bag of something on his left.

Jake stopped to the side to let Heeseung into his room. 

Heeseung immediately sat on Jay’s bed. “Oh my God, I’m so tired.”

Jake sat across from him on his own bed. “Did you have fun today Hyung?” Jake asked the other.

“Yeah! You need to see these videos-” Heeseung took his phone out of his pocket.

Jake tried to make an excited reaction. He was too nervous out of sudden.

It was Heeseung for fuck’s sake! Why did he need to get this nervous around his best friend???

Heeseung put down his phone on Jay’s bed. His manner changed.

“Jake, do you have something on your mind?” He smiled softly.

* * *

Niki climbed up the stairs quickly, he tried to reach the upper floor as fast as he could. His phone pressed firmly on his ear, he still couldn’t hear anything but a soft sound of someone breathing.

What happened to him? What happened to Sunoo???

‘Please.’

Niki didn’t know what he pleaded for, he wanted to believe that the elder was well, but the silence on his call made him anxious as hell.

Niki let out a breath of relief when he finally reached Sunoo’s floor. He made a quick turn on the corner, he could see the elder’s door, it was locked.

He placed his ear on the door, trying to listen to anything in the closed room. Shit, he could hear nothing.

Niki quickly typed the lock password, the elder never made an effort to hide his password every time he brought Niki here.

2

4

0

9

It must be an important date.

Niki quickly swung open the door.

The color left his face.

Sunoo laid unconscious on his floor. 

‘No’

‘No’

‘Please’

Niki quickly ran toward him, he softly shook the other. Shit, Niki’s hand was shaking so badly.

“Hyung- Sunoo Hyung.” No response.

Niki panicked. Anything could happen to Sunoo, every breath he missed count. Every beat of his heart was so precious.

Niki placed his head on Sunoo’s chest.

1

2

3

4

5

He still couldn’t be at ease even though he could feel the steady heartbeat.

There was no blood like last time, and Sunoo’s face didn’t lose it color as well. But why did he didn’t wake up with Niki’s constant calling?

Niki slowly picked Sunoo’s body with his arms, moving him into the bed. He slowly lowered Sunoo into the bed.

Niki took his phone from the ground, he threw it away when he found Sunoo before.

He quickly skimmed into the school emergency contact.

Luckily he found the nurse’s number in second.

Niki immediately called the number, he bit his lips, Sunoo still wasn’t moving.

“Hello?” He said after the nurse answered the call. “Hello- Kim- I found, shit.”

Niki took a deep breath before repeating himself. “I found Kim Sunoo unconscious in his room, can you please come? Quickly please.”

“No there was no blood-” Niki glanced at the other, he squirmed in his sleep. “-wait.” Niki paused the call.

“Hyung? Sunoo Hyung?” Niki kneeled on the side of the bed. He kept calling the other’s name.

“Ah noisy-” Niki was surprised when he heard Sunoo mumbling on something. “I’m sleepy”

Niki blinked his eyes a few times. What?

_“Hello?”_

He could hear the school nurse’s voice on his phone. Niki kept an eye on Sunoo, who just changed his position on the bed, trying to get comfortable.

“Hello?” Niki said. 

_“What happened? Is he okay?”_

“Yeah- he said he is sleepy.” Niki was dumbfounded.

_“What?”_

Niki glanced into the nightstand, he saw a bottle of medicine beside a bag. Niki read the label.

_Sleeping Medicine_

“There- there’s a sleeping meds on his nightstand.” Niki explained. “I still think you need to come here, please.”

* * *

“He’s just sleeping.” The school nurse took the sleeping medicine bottle from the nightstand. She read the label.

Niki stood on the side, he was still worried.

The school nurse checked Sunoo’s heartbeat once again. It was steady and nothing strange. 

“It looks like he took these pills and chose to sleep on the floor.” She chuckled. “You don’t have to worry.”

“He won’t be up for the next hours.” She reckoned that this med was prescribed by Sunoo’s family doctor.

“Thank you so much for coming here.” Niki thanked her. “I’m so sorry, I panicked, because- yeah you knew him.”

The school nurse laughed softly. “It’s okay, it was only natural to be worried when you found someone laying on the ground.”

Niki followed her to the door. “Thank you so much.”

She smiled. “It’s okay, and I’m glad that Sunoo has someone like you guys around.” Niki didn’t quite catch what she meant. “Sunoo isn’t weak, but still I’m so grateful that his friends care so much for him.”

“He’s loved indeed.” She finished before saying goodbye.

Niki bowed and waited for the nurse to disappear on the corner before shutting the door.

He walked toward the bed and sat on the floor beside it. He was glad that Sunoo was okay.

It was already 6 PM.

Niki wanted to stay with Sunoo. He had missed the other after not seeing each other a whole week.

“Sleep tight Hyung.” Niki touched Sunoo’s hand that peeked out from the blanket he had placed on him.

Niki just sat there without making any noises, he just stared at the sleeping figure on the bed.

* * *

  
  


“Jake, do you have something on your mind?”

Jake’s expression was hardened by the question. He didn’t expect Heeseung to notice this soon.

Heeseung sure was something else.

Jake played with his hands. He didn’t know how to answer that.

He imagined himself talking to Heeseung about it, but what could he say? 

Hey Hyung! I know you have a feeling for Sunghoon, you knew it already that I feel the same, but you deserve-

What the hell was that.

Jake was surprised when a hand reached on his, holding it tight.

“You know that you always can tell me about anything right?”

Jake started to hate that soft tone of his Hyung, he hated how genuinely care Heeseung of him, he hated how sweet he was.

That made Jake become weak.

His dried eyes started to water again. “Hyung-”

His voice cracked.

The cry broke down.

Heeseung immediately moved to sit beside the younger, he pulled Jake into a hug. He tried to give him some comfort by running his hand up and down Jake’s spine.

“I’m so sorry Hyung.”

“It’s okay.” Heeseung wasn’t sure what Jake did for him to seek forgiveness. He only wanted to reassure the younger that everything would be okay. He’s okay.

Jake slowly pulled out from Heeseung, he wiped his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie. He tried to gain his voice.

Heeseung reached Jake’s hand when he noticed how hard the younger rubbed his eyes. He held them instead.

“Heeseungie Hyung.” Jake began.

Heeseung just gave him a few pat on his hand, telling him that he was already listening.

“The truth is-” Jake hesitated. “I came to your room that night.”

Heeseung’s hand froze on Jake’s. He felt he knew what way this conversation would lead them.

“I heard your conversation with Sunoo.” Heeseung held his breath. “You do have feelings for him, don’t you?”

Heeseung only could give the younger a weak smile.

Jake forced himself to say the name. As if saying his name was the most painful truth he could ever recite. “Sunghoon.” He finally said just above a whisper.

What a day for Heeseung.

Heeseung looked at the younger.

He was so happy to spend the day with Sunghoon today, he had a lot of fun to last for life. But he couldn’t be at ease after hearing that Jake was ‘sick’.

He noticed how strange Jake was these days. He was sure that something really had happened to the younger.

Maybe it was something Jake couldn’t tell to his best friend, even Sunghoon.

That was why, he told Sunghoon that he would check on Jake later today, he even forbade the younger to come along with him, saying he wanted to have some time alone with the sick boy. 

_‘You spend most of the time with him! Let me take care of him today, he’s my best friend as well!’_

_‘Let me help at least.’_

_‘What if we catch his cold?’ ‘At least one of us needs to be healthy, you know how fussy Jay when he is sick.’_

Heeseung reasoned that it was best for Heeseung to be the one that would be staying with Jake today, he even sent Jay a text, telling him to sleep in the elder’s room today. Sunghoon wasn’t happy at first, but maybe, he noticed how determined Heeseung was.

He anticipated to have some kind of words with Jake.

But he didn’t expect that it would be this kind of talk at all.

Jake seemed nervous with Heeseung silence. Heeseung needed to do something to ease the other. 

“Oh shit, you caught me!” He tried so hard to force a laugh.

Jake was dumbfounded by Heeseung’s response. He thought the other would quickly retract his hand and leave, maybe yelling at him for secretly eavesdropping.

He didn’t know what to do when Heeseung was laughing.

Heeseung’s laugh died down slowly. “Is that the reason why you are trying to set me up with Sunghoon lately?” He said in the softest tone.

“I- I didn’t mean to Hyung.”

“I know, you still like him after all.”

Jake just fell silent.

“You know Jake? I was a bit mad at you.”

Jake was about to apologize, but Heeseung stopped him. “You can’t be serious right? I gave up on my feelings long ago, for Sunghoon, for you.”

“But now, you are trying to ruin my effort.” Heeseung didn’t mean anything bad by that. He held Jake’s hand tightly.

“Sunghoon doesn’t see me as someone more than a brother Jake.” He said. “You’re the one he wants to be with.” Heeseung smiled. “And you want him as well don’t you?”

Jake tried to wipe his tears, but Heeseung was faster, he dried Jake’s tear with his sleeve. Preventing the younger to hurt his eyes with his agresive rubbing.

“I’m so sorry Hyung.” Jake said. “I just want you to be happy for once.” 

“You deserve so much Hyung.” He continued.

Heeseung felt warmth creeping into his heart. “It may sound so silly, but Jake, your happiness is mine too.” A smile bloomed beautifully on Heeseung’s face. “I couldn’t wish more than for you, Sunghoon, Jay, and Sunoo to be well and happy, you guys are so precious to me.” He chuckled. “My brothers.”

Heeseung always wanted a brother, he didn’t know that he would end up with four.

“You’re so precious to me as well Hyung.”

“I hope you will listen to your heart Jake.” He hugged the younger. “You don’t have to think about me.”

“Hyung.” Jake tightened their hold. “Thank you.”

They stayed like that for some time before Heeseung broke the hug. “Now, stop crying, you look ugly.” He wiped the rest of Jake’s tears. 

Jake reached out to wipe Heeseung cheeks. “You look uglier than me.”

Heeseung didn’t realize that he was tearing himself. He laughed with Jake.

“Now, you need to ‘get better’ quickly and run to Sunghoon.” Heeseung took the bag he brought with himself before. “Look, we stopped at the bakery and bought your favorite sandwiches!”

Jake peeked at the bag, it was filled with any kind of bread. “Are you trying to feed the whole family Hyung?”

Heeseung rolled his eyes. Sunghoon sure was Jake’s perfect match. “Oh- and, here-” He handed the vinyl record to Jake. “I don’t know what to buy to make you feel better, but I think you’ll love it.”

“Thanks a lot Hyung.” Jake held Heeseung's hand. “For everything. You’re the best Hyung in the world”

Heeseung had a playful glitch on his eyes. “You damn right, I’m the best.”

Jake hit him with a pillow after that. It quickly turned into a pillow fight.

Both of them laughing and panting on the bed.

That was stupid. They were stupid.

Being in love was stupid.

* * *

  
  


Sunoo woke up at 3 AM. He blinked his eyes, he was so confused. He thought he was sleeping on the carpet, he expected that he would wake up in a sore body, not his comfy bed. Maybe he adopted a new skill of sleepwalking.

Sunoo turned to his side, he held a scream when he saw someone else in the room. 

Niki sat on the floor beside his bed, his back pressed into it. He seemed to be sleeping.

Sunoo was so surprised, he wanted to scream. Why was Niki here??? Wait- how did he enter???

He was so bewildered that he didn’t realize he made a tiny shrieking sound.

Niki woke up at that. Sunoo didn’t know what he was thinking when he pretended to be asleep and closed his eyes quickly.

“Huh?” Niki felt groggy, he accidentally fell asleep. His neck was killing him. 

Niki got up and stretched his body, he got near Sunoo's bed again. He lowered himself and placed his ear on Sunoo’s chest. He counted to five before pulling away.

Niki loved the sound of Sunoo’s heartbeat, it was so calming to hear the steady pulse. But it was odd that Niki felt the beat was a bit faster this time.

He didn’t know that Sunoo fought really hard not to scream. Luckily Niki didn’t notice Sunoo’s change in color of his face.

Niki sat on the floor again, this time he chose to lean on the drawer, his body facing Sunoo’s bed.

After a few minutes of silence and constant inner screaming, Sunoo opened his eyes, he found Niki drove off to sleep once again.

Sunoo changed his position to his side, he wanted to see Niki properly.

He was just staring.

It must be really uncomfortable to sleep in that position.

“Niki.” He called the other.

The younger didn’t answer. “Niki.” Sunoo didn’t want to yell, but God, Niki was fast asleep already.

Sunoo got up and sat on his bed, he reached out to touch Niki’s arm. The younger was too far away.

“Niki-” Shit, Sunoo was about to fall from his bed. He was slipping.

A pair or arms catched his body. “Hyung?” Niki was awake. “What are you doing?”

Niki helped him to sit properly on the bed. “Um, waking you up?”

“You’re about to fall face first on the floor.”

“I know.”

“You could’ve called me.”  
“I wouldn’t try so hard if that worked, Niki.”

Niki scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry.” Niki was about to leave. “I think it’s better for me to go back, so you can rest Hyung.”

He started to step away. “No!” Sunoo grabbed his arm quickly. “I mean, it was late already, you can sleep here.” Sunoo scooted, making a room for Niki on his bed.

Niki was too tired to be shy. “Okay.” He slipped under the cover.

Sunoo and Niki laid facing each other, no one said anything. Niki was so sleepy minutes ago, but he felt sober being this close with the other.

“I really miss you Hyung.” Niki’s voice was hoarse from the sleep.

Sunoo smiled at him, he reached Niki’s hand under the cover and held it. “Me too Niki.”

Niki felt content like this. With Sunoo’s hand holding his, and the warmth of Sunoo’s body heat that still remained on his side of the bed.

Sunoo’s presence just simply made him feel safe.

The elder just feel the same. Strangely, the effect of the sleeping pills should already wear off by now, but Sunoo felt so drowsy even after sleeping for hours already.

Maybe, Niki was better than any sleeping medicine his doctor had prescribed to him.

* * *

  
  


Daniel always hated Monday.

His body missed the weekend already. He was walking on the hallway half asleep. He spent the night gaming, he basically locked himself in his room.

He was afraid that a monster would catch him.

Daniel thought two whole days avoiding Jungwon would tone down the other’s anger.

Oh boy, he was so wrong.

“KIM DANIEL” He should have left a will to his mom.

“Shit.” Daniel started to run when he saw Jungwon rushed to him from the other side of the hallways.

Daniel had some advantage with his long legs, but between them, Jungwon was more on the atletic side.

He didn’t know how Jungwon managed to catch him and got him in a headlock. Daniel was way taller than him by head damn it!

“Got you.”

“Jungwon-ah, you know that I really love you right?”

“Shut up.”

“Please.” Daniel held Jungwon’s arm that wrapped around his neck. “At least, let me say goodbye to my dog.”

Jungwon finally let him go. “Explain.”

Daniel immediately kneeled in front of his best friend. He put his palms together, begging for forgiveness of his best friend. “You know that I just want the best for you right?”

“And selling me for two weeks skipping practice is the best for me?”

Shit, Jay must have told him.

“No-no Jungwon-ah, I meant to help him even before he told me about the deal!” Was that a good choice of excuse?

“I can’t believe it, you know that I hate it Daniel.”

Daniel held Jungwon’s hands, he was still kneeling.

They were making a scene in the middle of the hallways. But Daniel was too busy saving his own life to care about it.

“I just want you to feel love again Jungwon-ah.” He tried to convince his best friend, well that was so cheesy and dramatic. Even some of the students that passed by them thought that they were playing melodrama or something.

“You’re kidding right?” Jungwon asked his best friend who just got up.

“You can be friends with him instead!” Daniel said. “You may hate the idea of Jay being boyfriend material, but what about best friend material?”

Jungwon rolled his eyes. “You want to get replaced by him?”

“NO!” Daniel grabbed Jungwon’s shoulder. “You, Jungwon, only want one boyfriend, but you always have a choice to have more best friends!”

“I know you had fun with him.” Daniel continued.

Well, he was right, Jungwon did have fun spending the weekend with Jay. 

After finishing the movie, Jay brought him to his favorite fast food chain. And somehow both of them ended up being competitive and headed to an arcade after.

Before Jungwon realized, it was dark already,

He didn’t think that Jay flirted with him even once. He was just himself, being silly and competitive.

He knew that Jay was a good friend. He recalled how worried Jay got when he got a text, saying that Jake was sick, and Heeseung told him to spend the night in his room, afraid that Jay would catch the flu.

Jay was so ready to go home to see his best friend. But Heeseung just called, reassuring him that Jake was okay.

_‘Jungwon do you know the best medicine for cold? I can’t reach Sunoo to ask.’_

Maybe Daniel was right, that Jay’s boyfriend material wasn’t his style. But maybe the best friend was one.

Maybe he could be friends with him.

* * *

“No! I don’t want to be just friends with him!” Jay cried in frustration when Daniel told him about it after practice.

  
to be continued.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I have a quick update today haha, Happy Sunki Day everyone!
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! I really appreciate them so so much! Thank you for making my day!
> 
> Please let me know about your thought on this chapter!  
> Thank you so much for reading it, hope you like it!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to throw away a stained heart? He didn't have any idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short update, I know.

Sunghoon was happy.

He saw his own reflection on the mirror, he could see himself smiling.

His body was sore from all the dancing Jay had asked him to practice today. But well, he was happy.

The reason was Jake slowly being himself again. 

Sunghoon didn’t really show it but he was anxious about the other’s strange behaviours these days. As if Jake was slowly drifting apart from him, but ever since he had a cold a week ago, Jake started to behave like usual. 

He laughed sincerely at Sunghoon’s corny jokes, he started to flirt back sometimes, when red wasn’t on his face.

Sunghoon knew that the other tended to overthink sometimes, he was afraid that somehow Jake regretted accepting his attempts to win the other’s heart. Sunghoon just didn’t know that the heart had been his for long before he tried.

Sunghoon wasn’t sure what made Jake act not like himself before, maybe Heeseung was right, the cold made Jake become strange for days.

“Disgusting.”

Sunghoon turned to the voice that came from beside him. “Excuse me?” He looked at Jay, who stared at him with a look of disgust.

“Stop smiling at yourself.” Jay said. “That’s creepy.”

Sunghoon looked around the practice room, some of the members were taking a break on the side. He didn’t realize that Jay had given them some time to catch a breath after some briefing. He was too busy being happy about Jake.

Talking about the other, Jake wasn’t here today. He was busy with his literature club, his club president complained that Jake had skipped the club activities way too often. She said the club members missed him already.

Sunghoon didn’t really want him to go, but who was he? He didn’t get to tell Jake what the other wanted or not wanted to do. 

“Stop thinking already!” Jake yelled and kicked Sunghoon’s shin.

“The fuck-” Sunghoon was about to throw his water bottle at Jay.

“Wait-” Jay stopped him with his hand before he ran toward the door, catching someone who was about to leave.

Sunghoon stood dumbfounded on his place.

“Jungwon!” Jay called the younger.

Jungwon turned his back, his hand already on the handle of the door. “Yes Sunbae?”

Jungwon had come to watch his ‘friends’ practicing. Jay didn’t even hide his excitement when he saw Jungwon’s cute head peeked in the door today. And he tried his best to look cool when dancing while being watched by the younger on the side.

“I told you not to call me Sunbae.” Jay complained. “What did I say?”

The younger rolled his eyes. “What do you want Hyung?” He emphasized the word.

Jungwon thought that he and Jay got closer these days, ever since the older little scheme with Daniel, suddenly Jay was everywhere. Jungwon found himself not being bothered by it somehow. He even came here on his own will today. Maybe Daniel was right, Jungwon could be friends with Jay.

And Jungwon knew that Jay would hate the idea. He noticed how the older one staring at him from the mirror in the practice room today, Jungwon knew that Jay was trying to impress him with his dancing skill. And well, that worked, Jungwon was impressed. 

But that was all.

Jungwon understood Jay’s intention on getting closer to him, after all he knew who Jay was. The identity would always remained on the back of Jungwon’s mind, like a stupid reminder.

_Jay was a player._

_He wasn’t serious with you._

_You would get hurt._

_Jungwon, you need to run._

Jay smiled at the younger after hearing Jungwon called him properly. “Where are you going?” He took a step ahead. “Are you going home already?”

Jungwon stepped back, his back hit the door. He was trying not to show how flustered he was by the older’s behavior.

“They are dying.” Jungwon said. 

Jungwon’s gaze fell behind Jay, he turned his back to see where it landed. Jay raised his eyebrows when he saw Daniel and Niki both sprawled on the ground, panthing.

“I want to buy them some drinks.” The younger continued.

Usually, there would be enough drinks and snacks on the corner of the room for the members of the dance club. Those were always Sunoo’s doing, his excuse was he couldn’t let Jay’s club members die because of dehydration and starving, but Jay knew that his friend only did that because of this one person who always forgot to bring his own drink everyday. Jay looked at Niki who sipped the last drop of Daniel’s water.

Sunoo wasn’t here to take care of the other today. He was busy with his tutoring with the teachers, they helped him to catch up with class after missing for too long.

His friend would kill him if Jay let Niki suffer more than this.

“Let’s go together.” Jay opened the door and walked out.

“Eh?” Jungwon followed the older one. “Why? I can buy you the drink if you want one, just tell me the brand.”

“Nah, let’s go.” Jay stopped his track to look at the younger. “It’s better to go together isn’t it?” He smiled.

Jungwon would be lying if he said the smile didn’t do anything to him. He wanted to curse at himself.

* * *

“Hyung I still don’t understand the point of it.” Jungwon said with a pout.

Jay chuckled at that, he tried so hard not to drop the drinks and snacks on the ground right there and pinched the younger’s cheeks.

Jay had insisted for them to go to the convenience store instead of the vending machine near the library. Jungwon couldn’t understand why the older wanted to walk twice the distance if they could get the same items from the vending machine.

“And you paid as well!” Jungwon turned to him. “At least let me carry it.” He was about to take the bag from Jay, but the older didn’t even let him touch it.

Jay laughed when he saw the younger’s pout became even more clear.

The reason was simple, Jay just wanted to spend more time with the younger. After Daniel told them about how Jungwon just wanted them to be friends, he was burned with even more determinations to get close and hopefully opened the heart of this one person who didn’t put any interest in him. 

Come on, he was Jay for fuck’s sake. Everyone wanted him, well, except this one. Who currently looked so cute even without trying.

Jay was about to say something to Jungwon when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Jay Oppa!” The girl chirped his name. Who was she again? Jay couldn’t remember.

“Uh hi?”

The girl circled her arms around Jay’s. “You said you would buy me ice cream last time!”

“I did?” Jay was confused. I meant, he must have told several people that already, that was Jay’s classic excuse to leave any conversation he didn’t wish to continue.

‘I need to go, I’ll buy you a drink next time!’

Jay snapped from his thought, he realized the situation he was in right now. He quickly turned to look at Jungwon who stared at him, and this unknown girl with a look that Jay couldn’t even interpret.

“Ah yes, yes, I said that haha.” Jay quickly pulled his arm from the girl’s hold. “I’m so sorry, but I’m really busy right now. Gotta go!” He said before putting the weight of the bag on his left arm and grabbing Jungwon’s hand with his right one.

Jay walked away from the girl who clearly wasn’t amused.

Jungwon was so confused that he couldn’t say anything. Jay led him to the club building, but the older stopped right in front of it.

Jay put the bag on the ground, he turned to the younger out of the sudden.

“Jungwon I’m so sorry.”

Jungwon was dumbfounded, why did-

“I know you hate it.”

That confused the younger even more. “Wait- what?”

“Daniel told me that-” Jay was still holding Jungwon’s hand. “-you hate players.”

Jungwon was silent at first. So, Jay knew about that, and he was still dancing around trying to impress him huh?

Jay should have stopped trying when he knew that Jungwon hated someone like him if he was a decent human being. Jungwon couldn’t understand. Players were always the same he supposed.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying Hyung.” Jungwon pulled his hand from Jay’s grasp, who instinctively tried to reach it again, but Jay changed his mind.

“About the girl from earlier-” Jungwon never saw the older one looked anxious before. “-there is nothing between us.” Jay continued.

‘And there’s nothing between us as well Hyung.’ Jungwon wanted to say.

He didn’t know why Jay felt the need to tell him about it in the first place. “And why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t want you to get any funny ideas.”

“Why would I?”

“Because I like you.”

Jungwon was stunned. How easily the words flew from the older’s mouth. It was unbelievable.

Jay was only being honest. If the feelings he felt toward the younger wasn’t this, then he needed to learn better about himself. And he already knew that Jay, himself, was the only person who understood him the best.

Jungwon held his own arm anxiously. The ugly feeling started to creep into him.

_‘I like you’_

_‘Let’s date’_

_‘You’re the only one.’_

_‘I was lying of course.’_

_‘How stupid.’_

The memories of the ruined kitchen, his mother’s pained crying, a piece of paper laid on the dining table. The seven year old him who struggled to spell the word ‘divorce’ on it.

The thought quickly dismissed when he felt a hand hold his. Jungwon stared at Jay’s hand.

How easy.

Jungwon had always despised players, cheaters or any kind of bad people. It all started when his father had an affair when Jungwon was only seven. He still could remember how furious his mother, how broken she was.

Even when he was this old, he still couldn’t understand why people felt the need to find another when they already had someone. Wasn’t it enough?

Wasn’t him enough?

His first love was really sweet at first, his senior from junior high school always treated him with care, telling him how cute Jungwon was, helping him with english homework that was too hard.

Jungwon always tried to see the best in people. He never missed a chance to give another chance to those who wronged him.

It was a habit.

But Jungwon learned not to do that again.

The wound wasn’t hurt that much anymore, but it was still clear on his hazy mind. He even could hear it.

_‘How stupid. Who would choose you over her? She’s cuter, I prefer girls better after all.’_

Jungwon didn’t know that his first love was a game for his senior.

The bitter medicine gave enough realization for Jungwon, that not all people deserve another.

Jungwon pulled his hand from Jay. “You shouldn’t have said that-” He looked up at Jay who was staring at him. “-if you don’t mean it Hyung.”

Jay was bewildered. What? Of course he meant it!

He wouldn’t lose sleep if he didn’t mean it.

“I’m just being honest Jungwon.” Jay said. “I know that you don’t like me that way-” Yet.

Jay wanted to add.

“-And I know that you just want to be friends with me.”

Daniel you lil piece of-

“But Jungwon-ah, I don’t think I can just be friends with you.” Jay continued. “I’m sorry.”

Jay wasn’t the type of person who could hold themselves back. Jay was always honest with his thought, and he didn’t have any intention of hiding it. He didn’t like something complicated.

Jungwon stared at the person in front of him. He spelled the word all over again.

‘Don’t fall for it.’

Jungwon smiled at Jay. “But nothing will happen between us Hyung.” He was confident.

“At least let me try.”

“Try what?”

“Winning your heart?”

Jungwon knew he was smiling, but the feelings inside him weren't amusing. “My heart isn’t an object to win Hyung.”

Jay was flustered. “I don’t know how to put it into words.”

Jungwon picked up the bag Jay had dropped on the ground before. “Just give up Hyung.” 

He took a step ahead from Jay, Jungwon then turned around to say something. “You know, I really like you as a friend already.” He said. “It’s a shame that you don’t feel the same way.”

Jungwon turned around to leave. He entered the club building.

He was surprised when Jay skipped toward him and took the bag. “Well, I’ll just be the best friend you'll ever have then!”

“Who knows you’ll see me in a different light someday. I’ll just wait.” Jay said before leaving him alone in the hallway.

Jungwon tilted his head. “Happy waiting then.” He was so sure that the older would encounter the longest wait he ever had.

He didn’t even know the due date.

* * *

Taki was struggling to climb the stairs with his crutches. He needed to submit his works to the teacher himself. Taki heard the teacher was in the library.

He didn’t know that climbing a stair would be this hard and scary.

Luckily, a hand came to help him. The person held Taki’s arm and helped him to take each step slowly.

“Slowly-” The person said. “Good job!”

Taki turned to the person who just helped him. He wanted to thank them.

But Taki was stunned.

The person turned out to be an angel.

“Thank- thank you so much Sunbae.” Taki noticed that the other had a second year badge, it was the first time Taki saw someone really wear that.

“No problem!” The person said. Taki’s gaze fell on his nametag this time.

_Kim Sunoo_

Kim Sunoo?

Taki looked up immediately to that beautiful face. Niki was right when he said that Sunoo Sunbae had the most beautiful smile.

“Do you need another help?” Sunoo asked, friendly.

Taki was flustered. “No- I don’t need another help. Thank you so much Sunoo Sunbae.”

Sunoo’s smile bloomed even more.

“Sunoo!”

Taki and Sunoo turned to that. Taki could see that someone was waving to them, to Sunoo.

“Well, I need to go.” Sunoo turned to him. “Good bye!”

Taki couldn’t answer that, Sunoo was running to the person who just called him.

He let out a breath, no wonder Niki was so quick to fall.

* * *

  
  


Heeseung was on his way back when he noticed a familiar figure in front of the library. He decided to call the younger.

“Sunoo!” Turned out Sunoo wasn’t alone. 

The younger immediately ran towards him when he noticed Heeseung waving.

“Who is that?” He asked the younger after Sunoo arrived in front of him.

Sunoo shook his head. “I don’t know, I just helped him.”

Heeseung smiled at him. “Aw good boy.” He patted Sunoo’s head affectionately.

“Hahaha stop it!” Sunoo tried to get away from the older one. “Hey Hyung are you busy?”

“Hm? Not really.” Heeseung answered. “I’m on my way back.”

“Great!” Sunoo exclaimed. “Come with me.”

Sunoo took Heeseung’s hand and dragged him along with him.

Heeseung obliged in confusion.

* * *

“You know, I can get you in trouble just by sending a picture to your mother.” Heeseung said when he was Sunoo opened another bag of chips.

Sunoo just rolled his eyes. “You won’t do that.”

“What makes you so sure I wouldn’t?”

“You love me.”

“Yeah, I love you, that’s why, I’m stopping you.” Heeseung took the chips from Sunoo. “You have enough.”

Heeseung glanced at the empty bag of chips and ramen cup on the table. Not to mention other kinds of sweets that were forgotten after a few bites.

The younger had brought him to the convenience store near their dorm. Heeseung was surprised when the shopping bag filled with any kind of junk food in no time.

They were eating them in front of the store, hiding under the terrace.

“Ah Hyung!” Sunoo whined. “I can’t have them when I’m home.”

Heeseung sighed. Something was wrong.

“You always run to junk food every time you get stressed.”

Sunoo was silent.

“Tell me Sunoo, what’s wrong?”

The younger was playing with the gummy bear he managed to snatch before Heeseung. The truth was, he would meet Niki’s best friend tonight.

The first year had asked him this morning, what did Sunoo think about meeting Taki already?

He supposed he couldn’t hide any longer from Taki. But he was just so ashamed even to face him.

Sunoo always told Heeseung about his life, and Niki was part of that. But the story of ugly feelings was too hard to spell.

“The truth is-” Sunoo looked up at his best friend. “-I’ll meet Taki tonight.”

“Niki’s best friend who just came back?”

Sunoo nodded. “I’m not ready.”

“Why do you act like Niki is about to introduce you to his parents?”

“I’m not joking Hyung!” Sunoo complained.

Heeseung just laughed. “Seriously tho, what’s wrong with meeting Niki’s best friend?”

“Um…” Sunoo tried to word it the best. “I may be or may not be a little bit-” not little at all.

“-felt jealous of them once.” He voiced it just above whisper.

“What?”

“I was jealous of him.”

“Excuse me?”

Sunoo threw a bag of gummy to Heeseung. “You’re annoying!”

“What- I’m genuinely confused!” Heeseung threw his hands above his head. “ Why would you feel jealous??” His tone became serious. “Is there something between them?”

“I don’t think so.” Sunoo said.

“Then why would you get jealous?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m so ashamed to meet him!” Sunoo finally said it. “It’s so stupid.”

“It is.” Sunoo was a bit offended, but Heeseung just repeated what he just said. Technically he couldn’t get mad at him.

“So that’s the reason you hide these days…”

“You noticed it?” Sunoo was surprised.

Heeseung nodded. “You are so loud that it’s hard not to notice you being quiet.”

Sunoo rolled his eyes when he saw the older laughed once again.

“What should I do Hyung?”

Heeseung finally calmed down from his laugh, he saw the younger in a distressed mood. “Just meet him already Sunoo, it’s not like you can say sorry to him about it anyway.”

He was right, Sunoo wouldn’t be in his right mind if he admitted that he was being jealous of Taki.

“Bet Taki wants to meet you as much as Niki.”

“Okay, I’ll just silently ask forgiveness later.” Sunoo glanced inside the store. “What do you think about some boxes of cookies?”

“You just want to eat them don’t you?”

“No! I want to give them to Taki!”

“Just admit it.”

“Ughh”

* * *

  
  


Heeseung helped Sunoo to bring his things to the younger’s room. They agreed to buy some pastries in the bakery instead of store bought cookies.

Sunoo was arranging his outfit for tonight. He was so serious about it. Sunoo didn’t get a good look at Taki that night, he was too far away, and the night was too dark. He didn’t see Taki’s face, he just knew that Taki would be really cute, Sunoo was sure.

He could only see two figures hugged.

Sunoo needed to present himself as well as possible. He needed to be good enough.

“What do you think?” Sunoo showed a dress shirt his mother bought him.

“Too much for a meeting in the common room.” Heeseung said, munching on bread. “You could wear a pajama and Niki would think you’re the most beautiful person in the room.”

Sunoo was flustered. “Forget it.” He laid on his bed. “I don’t know anymore.”

He glanced at his Hyung who was busy looking for some drinks in his fridge. “Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Did you talk to Jake?”

Heeseung freezed. He tried to control his expression. “Yeah, what about it?”

“Is it about something that I think?”

“I don’t know, what’s on your mind?”

“Things.”

Heeseung turned around to face the younger. Sunoo got up to sit on the bed. He patted the space beside him.

Heeseung walked toward him and plopped down on the bed. “I told him.” He could see the younger shocked expression. “I mean, you saw how strange he was behaving. Turned out he heard us.” Sunoo became more shocked.

Heeseung just smiled and told the younger about it.

* * *

Heeseung was laying on Sunoo’s bed with him. They were staring at the ceiling. He was just done telling the younger about his story.

“Are you okay Hyung?”

The truth was, Heeseung didn’t know.

He was happy that Jake was done with his overthinking and stupid decicion making. But he could sense a really big heartbreak coming.

“Maybe I should start packing my things.” He joked.

Sunoo chuckled. “What do you mean? You’re going overseas to get over your heartbreak?”

Heeseung just laughed.

He never imagined the scene once he was completely done. He didn’t have any plan on how to get over Sunghoon as quickly as possible, he was trying for months and the feeling just remained like an old stain of blood in his shirt when he fell from a tree to save his pet bird. Who ended up flying away leaving him.

His mom immediately threw the shirt away, saying that it wouldn’t get washed off no matter how much detergent used.

Too bad, it was Heeseung's favorite.

Maybe he was going to do the same. Threw it away.

But how to throw away a stained heart? Heeseung had no idea.

  
to be continued.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I plan to update tomorrow, but turns out I'll have some work... I hope you don't mind this short chapter! oh btw I'm so excited for Jaywon haha.
> 
> I'm so surprised at the amount of kudos this story got! I'm so happy to know that people love this story as much as I do haha.
> 
> Thank you a lot for the comments as well, they never fail to bring a smile on my face!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know about your thoughts on this chapter!  
> Have a good day!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy didn’t think he would get used to him soon. He was too familiar with the foreign feeling he felt, and he hated himself for it. The boy was afraid to fall from this ferris wheel, but he was more afraid to fall for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Another update for this week!

Sunoo walked around his room nervously, Heeseung just left some minutes ago after helping him choose his outfit, he had thrown a pair of jeans and a cardigan in pastel color to Sunoo.

He was aware that he looked cute in these simple clothes, but he was still afraid he was underdressed. Sunoo was about to open his drawer to find something else when he heard a knock on his door.

Sunoo glanced at the clock on the wall. Why was Niki so early??? He still got another 10 minutes before their meeting time!

He quickly checked his appearance on the mirror. Sunoo said screw it and opened the door after spraying some perfumes.

He loved vanilla scent.

“Hi.” Niki said when finally Sunoo opened his door.

Niki held his breath when he saw the older one. Sunoo was always beautiful, he didn’t need to do anything to look pretty, he could be staying still, and no one would miss his beauty.

But Sunoo looked extremely soft tonight. Niki knew that the older one loved pastel color, but Niki didn’t really get to see Sunoo dressed up like this before.

“Ugh Niki?” That snapped Niki from his thoughts.

“You look really pretty Hyung.” Niki’s brain to mouth filter always failed to work everytime Sunoo was involved.

Sunoo could feel the heat start to seep into his ear. 

Heeseung told him to make it as if he wasn’t putting too much effort on his outfits. That was why he settled on the cardigan his Hyung had chosen for him. But the fact that Niki found his ‘lack’ of effort pretty, made Sunoo really happy.

“Thank you.” Sunoo said softly, he was afraid that he sounded too excited about getting a compliment.

Sunoo wasn’t foreign to this kind of treatment. People always found their way to let him know how cute his outfits were, how the accessory suited him, and simply how beautiful he was.

Sunoo was used to it.

But still, it was Niki.

The one who got more spotlight on Sunoo’s hazy vision lately.

* * *

The lift ride was too long for Sunoo. He was so nervous, he kept glancing at the number above the door. He flinched every time the lift stopped to open its door for people. 

He held the paper bag filled with pastries close to his chest. Niki had offered to take the bag, but Sunoo just refused, he needed something to hold onto to keep his last bit of sanity.

Two more floors.

The common room located on the first floor, people usually hung out or did their school work there.

Sunoo still couldn’t distract himself from his overthinking.

Niki noticed it.

The younger took Sunoo’s hand, holding it for the rest of the ride. “Why are you so nervous?”

Sunoo was flustered. “Am I that obvious?”

Niki chuckled at that. “You don’t have to worry, Taki won’t bite you.”

Sunoo looked at him funny. “Maybe I will, if you keep looking so cute.” Niki suddenly added.

That’s it.

Sunoo lost his whole comporesure. His face was bright red right now, and he couldn’t even look at the younger anymore. Niki was dangerous.

Niki was amused at Sunoo’s reaction, he didn’t know that teasing someone was this fun. He tugged on the older’s hand. “Let’s go Hyung, we’re here.”

“Eh?” Sunoo was bewildered. They were already on the first floor.

Niki took the other to the common room, some people turned to them when they noticed Sunoo entered.

His power.

The younger tightened his hold on Sunoo’s hand. He quickly walked them both to a space on the corner. 

Someone was already waiting for them.

Taki stared at them with a smile on his face. He sat on the sofa, holding something on his lap.

Sunoo was more than surprised at that. The boy he had helped after his tutoring session at the library this afternoon sat there, waving at them.

He could only blink his eyes multiple times.

Taki chuckled at the older’s confusion. “Hello again Sunoo Sunbae.”

It was Niki’s turn to be confused. “You met already?” He looked at both of them.

“He helped me today.” Taki said. He looked at Sunoo. “Thank you again Sunbae.”

Sunoo just nodded sheepishly, he should have realized that not a lot of students in this school used crutches.

“You can sit here Hyung.” Niki motioned to Sunoo who was still standing, he didn’t know what he should be doing in this situation.

Sunoo obliged and sat beside Niki, facing Taki who sat alone across from them.

He couldn’t be like this. Sunoo shook his head and tapped his own cheeks lightly. You got this Kim Sunoo.

Taki and Niki were a bit confused by the other, but they said nothing, just staring at Sunoo who tried to gain his composure once again. They got curious when Sunoo finally lifted his head and showed a smile.

“Hello Taki.” Sunoo reached out his hand to the younger. “My name is Kim Sunoo, you can just call me Hyung.”

Taki took his hand and returned the favors. “Hi Sunoo Hyung, it’s Taki.”

“I’m so happy that finally I get to meet you Hyung.” Taki glanced shortly at his best friend. “Thank you for taking care of Niki.”

“No- no it’s nothing.” Sunoo was flustered. “Niki is the one taking care of me in fact haha.”

Sunoo could see that Taki was a good person. He just had that kind of vibe. The burden of nervousness lifted from his shoulder immediately when he saw how sweet Taki’s smile was to him.

He still felt guilty, more, actually. 

“Oh here-” Sunoo handed the gift he prepared, a bunch of pastries and bread he got from his favorite bakery. “I bought it for you.”

Taki took the bag. “You don’t have to buy anything for me Hyung.” Taki glanced at the lunch box on his lap. “I don’t have anything worthy enough to repay you.”

Taki recognized the bakery’s logo on the paper bag, he knew how much pastries cost there, he only got to taste them once, when Jaeha’s mother bought them with her the day she visited the hospital.

The pastries brought him a sour memory.

Taki put the heavy bag to the side. 

“You don’t have to repay me haha.” Sunoo laughed, well, he bought them because he felt bad for his stupid jealousy towards Taki. “I just want to buy them for you.”

“Thank you so much Sunoo Hyung!” Taki smiled so bright. “I’ll enjoy them with Niki later.”

“He bought it for you, you can have them all by yourself.” Niki quickly said.

Taki shook his head. “Food will get tastier when we share it with others Niki!”

Sunoo smiled fondly, see, Taki was really sweet.

“Oh-” Taki reminded of something. “-My parents visited this morning and brought it with them.”

Taki placed the food container on the table. Sunoo stared curiously at it, Niki as well.

Taki opened it. The container filled with traditional sweets his parents made.

“My mother always loved cooking. She made the best sweets!” Taki said excitedly.

“Oh my God-” Sunoo was amazed. “These look so good! Breads compared to them…” Sunoo didn’t finish his sentence, he stared at his gift that sat sadly on the couch beside Taki. He should have bought a better gift.

Taki noticed the change of expression on the older’s face. “Hyung, you prepared a gift even if you don’t really have to! I’m so grateful.”

Niki placed his hand on Sunoo’s shoulder. “Both of them look good, you don’t have to feel bad, Hyung.” Niki smiled. “Look, I don’t even bring anything.”

Taki laughed at his best friend. “It’s just a friendly meeting, why do we act like something serious happening haha.”

Sunoo broke into a smile, the youngers were right. This meeting shouldn’t be so formal and stiff.

“Can I try it?” Sunoo asked, he pointed at the sweets.

Taki pushed the container closer to the older. Sunoo happily took one. 

“It’s cute!” Sunoo almost felt bad eating them. The shape was cute, it looked like a flower. Sunoo admired the shape for a few more seconds before he took a bite.

He was surprised by the taste. It was so tasty and not too sweet. He couldn’t stop complimenting it. “Wow, it’s so good!”

“We usually have green tea with them, but I don’t have one at the moment.” Taki said. “Niki, try it too!”

Niki gladly took a bite. He missed the familiarity. He almost could hear the bell ringing from his favorite dessert place way back home.

The taste was addicting, he got homesick.

“It tastes so similar to my grandmother’s sweet.” Niki told them. “Your mom is talented.”

Taki was happy that the others enjoyed his mother’s cooking, he felt really proud. He chuckled when he saw Sunoo finished another one in no time.

“Sorry, I can’t stop myself.” The older one said sheepishly. “You know, my father loves traditional sweets like this.”

Sunoo took out his phone. “Can I take a pic? I want to send it to my father.”

Taki just nodded. Sunoo was so friendly that he didn't feel any awkwardness at all. 

Sunoo took pictures and sent them to his father. He was so surprised when he got a reply right after, his father should be busy with work, but he supposed his sweet tooth came first.

Taki and Niki got confused when the other’s giggling at his phone. “Taki!” Sunoo called the younger.

“My father thought that I bought it somewhere and spammed me to tell him where the store is.” Sunoo laughed. “He doesn’t believe that it’s home made.”

“Your father must love sweets so much Hyung.” Niki said.

Niki turned to his best friend. “Why don’t you sell them Taki?”

Sunoo’s ears perked at that. “Yeah! People would love it!”

Taki laughed softly. “Opening business isn’t that easy here.”

Opening a dessert store was his parents dream. They tried once when they got here for the first time. But it didn’t run that well and his father decided to close the store after months and end up with an office job.

They chose to live comfortably over reaching their dream.

Taki was sad, he knew that his parents tried their best. But sometimes, Taki felt the universe was too unfair.

Sunoo seemed to have something on his mind. “Hey Taki.”

“I don’t know much about business actually.” Sunoo said. “But if I remember correctly, my parents helped some small business to grow through their foundation or something.”

“My father would be really happy if he finds out that an authentic traditional sweet shop reaches him.” Sunoo continued with a smile.

Taki was bewildered. “No Hyung! We just met today and I can’t just accept that kind of help from you.” He quickly added.

He didn’t think he could afford that much debt on his first meeting with Sunoo.

“It’s okay! It’s not like I can just tell my parents what to do with their work, they usually have this kind of screening or something.” Sunoo tried to convince the younger. “Your parents can sign up for the programme, bet they can pass with the quality of this sweet!”

“I think it’s a good opportunity for your family to get off from Jaeha’s grip Taki.” Niki said to his friend.

“Wait- what?” Sunoo was so confused, he thought he heard it wrong. “Jaeha?” He turned to Taki.

Niki had told Taki that Sunoo knew about the truth about his accident. Strangely, Taki didn’t mind it at all, there was this odd sense of trust he felt toward the other, he just knew that Sunoo meant no harm.

“My parents work for Jaeha’s family.” Taki glanced at Sunoo. “That’s kinda the reason why the bully happened.” He added in a low voice.

Sunoo was silent for a moment.

“That’s it.” Sunoo suddenly raised from his seat. “I’m calling my parents and getting you that fund for your family business myself.”

“No Hyung!” Taki was struggling to reach and stopped the older from taking his phone to call his parents. “Niki help!”

Niki was contemplating who he needed to side with. He wanted Taki to get away from Jaeha’s family, but his best friend was struggling to stop the opportunity called Sunoo.

Niki took the phone from Sunoo’s hand, and ended the call.

“Niki???” Sunoo was dumbfounded. He thought that the younger would side with him, it was for Taki’s sake!

“I’m so sorry Hyung, but let’s get you to calm down first.” Niki pulled the older one and sat him on the couch once again. Niki reached out to run his hand on Sunoo’s back. “Don’t get too worked up Hyung, you know it’s not good for you.”

Sunoo wanted to complain and sulk. He knew he was being immature, but it wouldn’t hurt that much to use his resource to help others in need would it?

“I’m so grateful that you want to help me, Hyung.” Taki softly said. “But there’s too much consideration we have to make, and it’s not like I can just say to my parents to quit their jobs and open the store again.”

Sunoo got up from his seat. Niki and Taki thought that he was about to do something impulsive again.

But the next thing he did surprised the both of them, especially Taki.

Sunoo moved to sit beside Taki, and immediately hugged the younger one. “I don’t know the full story, and we just met like a few hours ago, but please-” Sunoo pulled from the hug. “You know how to find me if you have a problem with anything.”

Sunoo held Taki’s hand. “I really mean it, with anything, I mean really anything.” Sunoo continued. “I’m so sorry you need to suffer because of that jerk. It’s a good thing he doesn’t live here. It would be hell to see him even in the dorm.” 

The older hugged him once again.

Taki could smell Sunoo’s scent. It was sweet, it brought him with a vivid memory from his childhood, a glass of warm milk and a freshly baked vanilla cake his mother made.

“Can you just be my brother Taki?” Sunoo suddenly asked. “You’re so cuddly, I want to hug you all the time.”

Taki just laughed at that. “I don’t really mind, but I think someone wouldn’t be happy with that.” He glanced at his best friend who sat alone across from him and Sunoo who still snuggled close to him. The older one didn't really hear it.

“What?” Niki said annoyed at his best friend’s playful expression.

Taki laughed harder, he just couldn’t help it. Niki’s jealous expression was too funny. His best friend had fallen too deep.

Sunoo was dumbfounded at Taki’s sudden burst of laughter. “What happened?” He asked after pulling from the hug. His gaze turned to Niki, who had his arm folded on his chest.

Niki leaned his back to the couch, he didn’t know that being teased was this annoying. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased Sunoo earlier, the karma came too fast.

Sunoo looked at Niki’s sour expression. A gear moved on his mind. 

“Do you want a hug too Niki?” He asked innocently. “Come here.” Sunoo opened his arm wide.

Niki palmed his own face. Yes, he kinda wanted the hug, but-

For God’s sake Kim Sunoo!

Taki’s laugh got louder if it was possible. He had a really hard time breathing, his stomach started to hurt.

Niki was embarrassed.

And Sunoo left in confusion.

* * *

“Careful Hyung.” Niki held Sunoo’ left hand. The other was standing on the high concentrate or something -Niki didn’t really know what that thing was called- on the side of the pavement. Niki was too busy being worried at the thought of Sunoo tripping and fell.

They were taking a walk after having more conversations with Taki in the common room. Sunoo was still pissed at Jaeha in Taki’s story that he asked Niki to take a walk with him, clearing his mind with fresh air before going to sleep.

They were strolling in the park just outside their dorm when Sunoo noticed a beautiful bud on the tree. He persuaded Niki into helping him.

He had insisted that he would get the bud by himself even though Niki offered to get it for him.

“A bit more-” He reached his hand. “Yeah!” Sunoo immediately hopped into the sidewalk, Niki made sure the other didn’t lose his balance and tripped.

Sunoo was happy. “I’ll laminate it, make it into a bookmark and give it to Jake!” He said excitedly.

Jake had been really self conscious around him lately, maybe it was because his new founding through Sunoo’s and Heeseung’s late night conversation that led him into his stupid phase before.

Sunoo knew that Jake loved reading, hell, he was a member of the literature club! Of course he loved reading.

And Jake was really emotionally attached to flowers. He wanted to show the other that there was a way to make the beauty last longer, even stay forever.

Sunoo turned to Niki. “Do you want me to make you one as well Niki?” He eyed the tree once again, looking for another bud.

“It’s okay, I’m good.” Niki didn’t want Sunoo to climb the wall again to be honest.

Niki took the older’s hand. “Let’s go, the night started to be cold.”

* * *

Niki walked Sunoo to his room.

“Thank you so much for today Hyung.” Niki started. “I could tell that Taki really likes you already.” He smiled fondly. He was grateful two most important persons in his life got along well. He couldn’t wish for more.

“No, I should thank you instead Niki.” The older said. “Taki is really amazing, can’t wait to spend more time with him!”

“Oh! Maybe Taki could sign up for the dance club once his leg healed!” Sunoo continued.

Taki had told him about his love for dancing, he was grateful that his injury wasn’t that bad and made him not be able to dance again in his life.

“He would like that.”

“Yeah!”

They just stood facing each other in silence. Niki wanted to stay longer, but the night was getting even darker. Sunoo needed his rest more than anyone else.

“You should go inside, I’ll go back to my room.” Niki reluctantly said goodbye.

“Wait.” Sunoo called.

Niki was surprised when he got wrapped with Sunoo’s arms. “Good night Niki.” Sunoo said before pulling away. He didn’t get to give the younger hug in the common room.

“See you at lunch?” Sunoo asked.

Niki who was still in the middle of a stunned phase just blinked and slowly answered. “Yeah- see you at lunch tomorrow Hyung.”

Sunoo’s smile bloomed prettily on his face. He waved for a second before turning around and entered his own room. He threw a last glance at Niki before completely locking the door.

Vanilla ended up being Niki’s favorite.

* * *

Jaeha was mad.

His parents never told him to behave. Well, they tried to make him, but Jaeha wasn’t really the listener type.

But ever since the Taki boy incident, his parents started to get too strict.

And now the boy was back, and his parents seemed adopting new hobies of reminding him not to get anymore trouble, especially with the boy, Taki. His parents even said that the amount of money they spent to clear his messes was enough to start a new business. Well, it was a lot.

_“Don’t get near him.”_

_“Just stay away, and behave for once son.”_

_“Don’t even touch his friends.”_

That was why Jaeha was really mad.

He stared furiously at the scene in front of him. Jaeha leaned on the window of the two story school building. He could see them very clearly.

Taki, the main reason for him being grounded, was happily talking and playing in the park, with that fucker, Niki, and some other people. The real reason for him being mad was…

Kim Sunoo was among them.

* * *

Sunoo laughed so hard when he saw the jenga tower collapsed after Jungwon pulled a block.

“Argh!” Jungwon cried out.

He turned to glare at the real culprit of him losing. 

Jay was laughing as hard as Sunoo. “Jungwon out!” He exclaimed.

Jay had pulled out a block that held the tower together in his turn, knowing well that it was Jungwon’s turn after him.

He knew the older did that on purpose!

Ever since Jay's sudden confession a few days ago, the other had been nothing but himself. Yeah, nothing was changed.

Beside the fact that Jungwon felt the other didn’t really hold onto his words, or he was? Jungwon couldn’t understand.

Jay said he liked him, and then he said he would be the best friend Jungwon would ever have. Well it was a really good thing that Jay’s flirting decreased in some way, it was still there, but it wasn't that dangerous.

But why did Jungwon feel that Jay wasn’t really into him anymore??

It was a break time, the whole school got extra free time after their teacher left to have a sudden board meeting or something. Some people chose to take a nap at class, or busied themselves with homeworks.

Jungwon was sure that half of his class were playing soccer on the yard.

And here he was, playing and losing in a Jenga game with his friends and seniors. Sunoo had come to his class after the break announcement. Jungwon still remembered the face his classmates made when Sunoo suddenly peaked from the door. The older said he wanted them to try this game Sunghoon had bought last week.

Jungwon glanced at the pair in front of him. Jake was busy rebuilded the jenga, Sunghoon helped him as well.

Then he turned into his side, Niki handed Sunoo a drink after the older one visibly being tired after laughing so hard at Jungwon.

“No-” Niki pulled the drink when Sunoo wanted to hold it himself. “-you’ll end up choking again, drink slowly.” He held the straw for the other.

Those are what people in love should do! Not annoy him everytime and beat him in every game!

Jungwon turned to Jay again. “I hate you.”

Jay chuckled at him. “It’s a game Jungwon.” He reached to mess with the younger’s hair, but Jungwon quickly avoided his hand.

Jay thought Jungwon’s sulking face was cute. He wanted to tease him even more.

“What do you choose Jungwon?” Taki asked him, well at least in the middle of the couples here, he got Taki. “Truth or dare?” Jungwon wished Taki to shut up already.

“It should be dare!” Sunghoon said, he seemed to love this game a bit too much. He sounded really excited. Why did he even bring this game to school in the first place??? 

“Quick quick!” Sunghoon continued. He always loved the game of truth of dare, well, he prefered dare better, he always got to make his friends doing stupid things.

Jungwon raised both of his hands. “I give up, just tell me the dare.”

Jay had a really suspicious look on his face. Jungwon regretted it already even before hearing anything.

“Go to an amusement park with me.” Jay said. Jungwon should have seen it coming, that it was just a simple calm before the storm.

“Whoo!” Jake cheered. “That was a really bold move Jay!”

Sunoo was stunned by his friend’s request. Was Jay really serious with someone this time? With Jungwon?

He would throw his best friend to the sea if he was just playing.

Jungwon said nothing at first. It was a game, just like Jay told him. But why did he feel a blush coming to his ears?

“Whatever.” Jungwon finally said.

The table erupted once again. Taki oddly enjoyed Jungwon’s misery as well. “Please bring me a souvenir Jungwon!” He said to his friend.

“An amusement park.” Sunghoon spelled the words under his breath.

“Hm? Did you say something?” Jake turned to him, he was busy putting away his novel. He had forgotten about the book soon after the game began. He carefully slipped the bookmark Sunoo made for him between the pages.

Sunghoon smiled at his best friend. He didn’t know what Heeseung did to make Jake be himself again after that day, whatever the elder did, Sunghoon was grateful.

Talking about the other, Heeseung must be really busy. He had been preparing the school festival for months, and it got near in no time. Maybe he should stopped by Heeseung’s room and brought him some food later.

“So, what was it?” Jake asked him curiously.

“It’s nothing.” Sunghoon said. “I just thought that an amusement park would be fun.”

Jake raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to go?”

“Yeah-”

“NO! Hell no!” Jay quickly stood from his seat. “Don’t you dare to disturb my date with Jungwon!”

Jungwon was bright red. “It’s not a date!”

“Well I want it to be one!”

“Well, I don’t want it to be one!” Jungwon and Jay ended up bickering about their ‘date’.

* * *

Jay was in an amusement park, but why did he didn’t get amused at all?

He turned to look at the person beside him, who was busy with his phone. Jungwon was facetiming his best friends. “Daniel! Taki! Look! The color is pretty isn’t it?” He showed the sheep headband to his friends.

Jay had bought the headband for the younger, he wanted to have a matching headband with him, but it was the last item on the store, Jay settled on an angry bird hat instead. At least, Jungwon looked really cute in them.

Then Jay turned to other persons in front of them.

“I told you not to disturb my date.” He said to Sunghoon who was busy taking pictures of Jake who tried every headband he could reach. “Whipped.” Jay mumbled under his breath.

“Huh? What did you say?” Sunghoon turned to him.

“Hoon-ah! It looks like Layla’s ears!” Jake said excitedly, he showed the headband to Sunghoon.

“It is haha” Sunghoon put away his phone. “Get two, let’s pay for them.”

Jake excitedly got another one of the same kind and headed to the cashier with Sunghoon.

Jay was offended. That should be him and Jungwon damn it!

“Jay Jay!” There was the other problem.

Sunoo tapped him on his shoulder. “Quick, am I a fennec fox or a dog?”

Jay only could sighed at his best friend. “Fox.”

“See!” Sunoo turned to Niki. “I’m a fox not a dog!”

Niki was only teasing the other, saying things that opposed Sunoo's liking. “I know, stop sulking.”

“Now let’s get the headband!” He dragged Niki deeper into the store.

Jay massaged the bridge of his nose. It couldn’t get any worse, could it?

The store’s bell rang.

“You must be kidding me.” Jay said to himself.

“Yo Jay!” Heeseung excitedly waved and pacing toward him.

Is it a family trip or something???

Sunoo called Heeseung last night, asking if the older one would be busy on the weekend or not. Heeseung quickly agreed to meet at the amusement park today, he was happy that finally he could spend some time together with his friends. It had been a while since he went to an amusement park as well.

“How did you get here Hyung?” Jay weakly asked.

“Oh, Sunoo called me last night, and Jake said you guys are here.” Heeseung pointed outside. “I met him and Sunghoon outside just now.”

“What???” Jay couldn’t believe that his and Jungwon’s date turned out to be Jake’s and Sunghoon’s.

“Hyung!” Sunoo quickly ran toward Heeseung and hugged him, Niki tailed close. “You’re here!”

Jay was dumbfounded.

“No, I can’t let this happen.” Jay suddenly said.

Jay reached to grab Jungwon’s hand who was busy taking a selfie right now.

“Let’s go separate ways, and meet at lunch in the park’s cafe!” Jay said to his best friends and Niki, before turning his heels quickly and dragged Jungwon out of the store with him.

“Wait! Hyung!” Jungwon was too late to refuse.

Heeseung stared at Jay’s and Jungwon’s disappearing features. He turned to the younger in his embrace.

“You won’t abandon me as well, will you?” Heeseung asked the younger. Sunoo just blinked at him before glancing at Niki.

* * *

  
  


“Tell me why did I think this was a good idea again?” Heeseung said.

“I don’t know Sunbae.” Niki told him.

They were in the haunted house. Sunoo trapped both of them with his arms. He held onto them for dear life.

Sunoo had Heeseung's right arm, and Niki’s left. “Please please don’t come closer.” He hid his face on Heeseung’s shoulder.

The zombie who tried to scare them felt bad after seeing Sunoo’s extreme reaction, and stepped back.

The three of them walked past the zombie. The zombie murmured sorry when Niki passed in front of her.

Heeseung just smiled sheepishly at the paid actress. 

Walking side by side like this was quite a challenge in the middle of cramped hallways. The three of them were struggling but Sunoo wouldn’t let Heeseung and Niki leave.

They reached the end of the haunted house.

“Thank God!” Sunoo quickly ran outside, bathing in the sun once again.

Niki was amused, the older one looked like he was photosynthesising. 

“You’re no different from Jay Sunoo!” Heeseung exclaimed.

“It’s called a sense of survival, Hyung. You need to be afraid to avoid something dangerous!” Sunoo defended himself.

“That’s nonsense.” Heeseung just laughed.

“Now, let me go to the toilet. I’ve been holding it for too long!” Sunoo said before running to the toilet.

* * *

  
  


“So, how are you Niki?” Well, Heeseung wasn’t a social butterfly like his baby brother. It was a bit awkward waiting for Sunoo in front of the toilet’s building alone with Niki.

The other wasn’t any better. Niki was too quiet for his own good. “Um, good.”

Niki glanced at the older one. “Ugh, Heeseung Sunbae.” He sounded hesitant.

“I didn't get to thank you properly before.” Heeseung just stared at the younger, Niki continued. “Back then, thank you for helping me.”

Heeseung laughed softly. “I really didn’t do anything! Sunoo did all the work haha.” He smiled. “Beside, you already thank me multiple times already that day, maybe the cold made you couldn’t remember properly.”

“Still, I need to thank you for another thing as well.” 

“For what?”

Niki found his shoes so interesting out of sudden. “Thanks to you, I got to meet Sunoo Hyung again.” He raised his head and looked at Heeseung. “Thank you, I don’t know how to repay you.”

Maybe it sounded so cliche, thanking someone for helping you find your one. But Niki was too grateful that he couldn’t help to express his gratitude. 

Heeseung’s heart burst with warmth. He was so thankful that Sunoo met Niki, someone who cared for him as much as his baby brother cared for the other.

He was so good at being a matchmaker.

It’s an irony to his own fate.

“Just make sure that Sunoo is happy, and that’s enough for me.” Heeseung placed his hand on Niki’s shoulder. “Now that I feel like we’re good enough, you can call me Hyung.”

“Hyung?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay.”

Heeseung’s eyes glazed with playfulness. “Now, tell me when is the wedding date?”

“What-” Niki’s reaction didn’t disappoint Heeseung.

Looked like Heeseung found another victim of his teasing. Another name to add on his list.

“What are you guys talking about?” Sunoo suddenly appeared behind them.

“Oh Ddeonu! We were talking about wed-” Heeseung didn’t get to finish his sentence, Niki was too quick covering his mouth with his hands.

“Don’t listen to Heeseung Hyung.” The younger one said to Sunoo.

“I can’t believe it only took a bathroom trip for you guys to be this close.” Sunoo stared at them with a smile on his face. “Let’s go! I want to ride the carousel.”

Sunoo dragged both of them.

Heeseung tried so hard not to laugh at Niki who stared at him in embarrassment.

It’s fun!

* * *

Jake and Sunghoon had been waiting for 15 minutes to ride the roller coaster, the line was so long.

“I start to think it’s not worth it.” Jake said. “My leg hurts.”

Sunghoon’s gaze fell on him. “What? You want me to crouch down so you can sit on my shoulder?” He started to crouch down jokingly.

Jake was flustered, he pulled Sunghoon to get up quickly. “Stop it!”

Sunghoon just laughed. “That’s why I told you to ditch them quickly, they took forever in the store!” He stared at the roller coaster. “You said you want to ride it.”

Jake’s gaze followed Sunghoon’s.

The roller coaster moved so fast above them. He could hear the screams and excitement.

Jake could see the excitement on Heeseung’s face when he told them to go quickly to ride the roller coaster.

Heeseung was an angel.

He got really close to Heeseung more than ever, he found himself sleeping in the other’s room lately, just doing nothing and hugging each other to sleep after Heeseung finished whatever he was doing.

They had a lot of talk.

He learned a lot from Heeseung more than he learned from his teachers.

The line moved.

Sunghoon placed his arm around Jake’s shoulder, people were pushing each other. Jake stared at Sunghoon’s side profile.

Wow, he knew that his best friend was handsome, but looking at him from this close, Jake knew that the universe decided to put perfection as Sunghoon’s last name.

Jake laughing at himself, he felt funny.

Sunghoon was dumbfounded. 

Jake just smiled at him and threw his arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder as well. “Let’s go, we’re next!”

Sunghoon was sure that the rush from riding the roller coaster would mean nothing compared to the way Jake easily made his heart beat twice faster.

He had learned the art of looking composed on the outside while the heart was catching fire on the inside. Thanks to Jay with his weird collection of books.

Sunghoon couldn’t wait the day he had enough courage to tell his best friend how excited he made Sunghoon to wake up everyday, and he wasn’t a morning person by any means. He just couldn’t wait to spend another day with this particular person, who jumped excitedly when he saw the train got near.

Sunghoon had been searching for the meaning of confessing in the dictionary lately.

And he still didn’t know how to do it.

* * *

  
  


“I told you, we need to ride it at dusk.” Jay complained for the nth times already. “We can see the sunset later!”

“Thank you.” Jungwon thanked the ferris wheel’s staff who helped them lock the door before turning to Jay.

“Stop it already Hyung.” Jungwon looked outside. “The view would be the same in the evening.”

The ferris wheel started to move.

“It’s more romantic!” Jay exclaimed.

Jungwon just stared at the person who sat across from him. The gondola was slightly shaking from the movement. “When will you give up Hyung?”

Jay confidently folded his arms. “I don’t think I need to give up.”

Jungwon just snorted at the older one. “You are way too confident.”

“Yeah I’m, and I just stated a fact.”

Jungwon chose to ignore the other and looking at the outside, the other rides became tinier as they got higher.

The ride stopped when they got into the top.

“Just admit it Jungwon-ah.” Jungwon turned to Jay when he heard he called his name. “You fall for me already, don’t you?”

Jungwon was flustered, he wanted to deny but-

“See, you just got flustered.” Jay cocked his head to the side. “No one can really resist me after all.”

“Well, I’m an exception then.” Jungwon tried so hard keeping himself calm.

Honestly, being under Jay’s gaze did something to him. The way the older one looking at him with such curiosity and fondness never failed to make his stomach curl.

“Leave me alone.” Jungwon said before distracting himself with the scenery again.

“What do you want me to do?” Jay said. “You want me to jump from this gondola or something?”

“You’re so annoying.”

“Well you need to get used to it. We’ll spend a lot more time together after all.”

Jungwon rolled his eyes. “Come to think of it, I think it’s a good idea if you want to jump.”

“Okay.” Jungwon was surprised when Jay suddenly stood up, making the gondolas shaking so bad.

“Hyung! Sit down!” Jungwon was panicked, he didn’t really want to die young, and no one wanted to ride a haunted ferris wheel.

Jay just laughed and sat back down. But instead of sitting across Jungwon, he chose to sit beside the younger one who held onto the window’s railing for dear life.

“Go back to your seat.” Jungwon told him.

Jay just shook his head. “You told me to sit, so I sit, now I’m done obeying your words.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“I told you to get used to it already.”

Jungwon turned away from Jay. He didn’t think he would get used to him soon. Jungwon was too familiar with the foreign feeling he felt.

And he hated himself for it.

Jungwon was afraid to fall from this ferris wheel, but he was more afraid to fall for him.

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I had so much fun writing this chapter haha, Jay I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for reading this AU! 
> 
> I'm so thankful for each kudos and comments I got. Just you know that I keep reading each of them every time I need motivation! I'm just that grateful haha.
> 
> I hope I don't disappoint you with this update, hope you like it!! Please tell me about your thoughts! Have a nice day and psst you're loved, don't forget that!!
> 
> You can find me on twitter @yeonlyfe!
> 
> See you in the next chapter! (Which I don't really know when.)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness was always being tied to summer. The season of laughter and joy, being free of any burden people had to endure all year long, as if all of that just magically evaporated by the heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! A little warning, there will be a short ghost story in the beginning of the chapter...

The room was chilly, wind blew the curtain softly, making the atmosphere almost gloomy. The night sky never looked so scary for Jay before.

He was terrified.

“When my friend was sure that he heard a woman’s cry from the bathroom-” Sunghoon continued his story. Jay tried to listen without paying attention to his trembling hands.

Jake hugged his pillow.

The three of them sat on Jay’s bed.

“When he opened the door-” Sunghoon tried to make it as dramatic as possible, Jake wanted to give him an applause for his acting, he improved a lot. “-there was nothing.”

Jay was so relieved for a second.

“Except for the woman’s head laughing at him from the toilet.”

“AAAAAA” Jay screamed his lungs out when he felt a hair touch his neck.

Sunghoon and Jake had the laugh of the night.

They high fived each other when they saw Jay’s reaction.

Jay threw away the wig Jake had put on his shoulder. “Ah fuck you guys!”

Jake had trouble keeping his composure, he collapsed on Jay’s bed. He was laughing so hard.

Sunghoon wasn’t any different, he pointed at the camera on Jay’s night stand that Jake had set before his ghost story telling. “Do you want to see yourself? It was hilarious!” Sunghoon quickly grabbed the camera before Jay could do anything about it.

It was just a regular night for them. The fourth of them just finished their homework together, Sunoo left immediately when Jake told him Sunghoon had some ghost stories.

Curse Jay with his curiosity.

He always hated ghost stories, yet he got curious so easily.

Jay didn’t know that it was only one of his best friends prank on him.

“I’m going to upload it!” Sunghoon exclaimed.

“NO! What if Jungwon sees that!” Jay quickly said. “I have an image to protect!”

“I don’t think you have anything to protect anymore Jay.” Jake told his best friend. “You’re basically a clown for Jungwon at this point.”

“Shit, what should I do???”

Jake couldn’t hold his laughter again.

“I don’t know, maybe stop being such a dumbass might help?” Sunghoon made sure the camera safely secured on his bag.

“Where are you going?” Jay asked him when he saw Sunghoon start to get up from his bed.

“My room of course.” Sunghoon looked at his best friend as if Jay just asked something so blatantly obvious.

Jay quickly grabbed Sunghoon’s hand. “No! Stay here!”

“What the fuck Jay? You’re still scared about the ghost?” Jake looked at him silly, Jay was always dramatic on his eyes.

“And whose fault is that?!” Jake shot a bullet at Jake with his glare. “Sunghoon, stay here for a minute, I need to take shower before bed!”

“What do you mean?” Sunghoon was dumbfounded. “You want me to take a shower with you?”

Jay looked like he just got an insight. 

“No, stop it.” Jake suddenly said.

“I don’t do anything!” Jay defended himself.

Jake rolled his eyes at him. “I know you’re about to.”

Jay cursed under his breath. “Just stay here, in the room, Jake always wanders around at night, what if he leaves me alone when I take a bath??”

“What makes you so sure that I won’t leave as well?”

“Shit you’re right.”

Jake kicked Jay from the bed. “Just take a bath already! We won't go anywhere!”

Jay reluctantly got up and prepared to take a bath.

“I trust you guys.” Jay said before locking the bathroom’s door.

It was heartwarming how despite the constant teasing and pranking they did to Jay, the other never really held a grudge toward them.

And that made Sunghoon and Jake wanted to tease him even more.

Sunghoon threw a glance to Jake, who just understood immediately without Sunghoon needing to say anything. He nodded to the other.

Sunghoon walked to the light switch. They had the bathroom’s switch outside, just beside the room’s.

The moment Sunghoon turned off both of them, they could hear Jay’s wailing from the bathroom.

“I TRUSTED YOU!”

They just laughed for a few more seconds before turning the bathroom’s light back on. Sunghoon kept the room dark.

Jake just moved from Jay’s bed into his own. He just laid there panting after laughing so hard at his best friend.

“He’s so dumb.” Sunghoon said before laying sideways on Jay’s bed, facing Jake.

Jake cuclked, remembering his best friend's scream. “I know right.” He turned to his side as well, looking at Sunghoon.

Both of them had their eyes locked on each other.

The room fell silent. There’s a sound coming from the bathroom, a song.

“Does Jay have his phone with him?” Jake asked Sunghoon.

Sunghoon tried to listen carefully. “Seems like it.”

Both of them just listened to the song Jay played on his phone in the bathroom, it seemed like the other needed some company even when he was showering.

The lyrics hit a bit too close to home for both Jake and Sunghoon.

_Every night without a sound,_

_I grow taller and as I feel for you._

It was dark, but Sunghoon could clearly see every detail of Jake. From Jake’s arm that hugged his pillow close to his chest, to his best friend’s eyes, who were as dark as the night.

“It was fun.” Sunghoon said. “Your idea always works so well.”

Sunghoon never felt happier before. The laughter Sunghoon had these past year were the token of his happiness.

_Seems I think it grew up everytime my heart sees you._

_My heart, that’s a lot different from before._

_My grown up heart, it keeps to go ahead, a little farther._

And the reason for most of them just laying there, looking at him with such fondness, Sunghoon didn’t know he had yearned.

“You killed it with your ghost story.”

“Well it’s a true story after all.” Sunghoon said with a smile on his face.

Jake raised his eyebrows at that. He hugged the pillow even closer. “It’s real?”

Sunghoon had no heart to tease the other even more. “Are you scared?”

“I’m not Jay.”

“Do you want me to stay here?” Sunghoon asked the other. “With you?”

Jake looked at him, Sunghoon was always like that, the other always so quick to reassure him, about everything.

Sunghoon always made sure that Jake was fine, that he was okay.

“Yeah.” Jake’s voice was only above a whisper.

_To go ahead_

_You don’t even know, we’re 20cm apart._

The song was almost perfect to describe their feeling right now, it was only the fact that their height was only 1cm apart.

“Okay.” Sunghoon said.

They just laid there, looking at each other, as if trying to guess any useless thought that lingered.

The next few songs that played had the same theme, falling for your best friend.

Sunghoon was so sure that it was Jay’s attempt to get back to them.

Looked like Jake was aware as well, the other just hid his face on the pillow deeper.

“Are you sleepy Jake?”

Jake just nodded behind his pillow. 

Sunghoon wanted to laugh at Jake’s shyness, but maybe Jay could use more teasing. He smiled and said to him. “Let’s turn all the lights off first then.”

Jake peeked from his pillow to look at Sunghoon with a playful smile. He quickly got up from his bed, headed to the light switch outside the bathroom.

Jay’s scream became their lullaby that night.

* * *

Jungwon was sleepy, he didn’t get enough sleep last night.

Some people thought it would be such a nice idea to scream in the middle of the night.

And even Jay decided to call him and complain about his best friends pranks for hours.

To sum it all, Jungwon was tired.

It was hard, but Jungwon couldn’t help but admit that he had gotten even closer with Jay lately.

He was happy every time he spent time with the older one. Jay was a good company. Maybe, just maybe, what if Jungwon decided to open his heart-

“Shit.” Jungwon wanted to scream, he didn’t even care if he was in the middle of the hallways. “No Jungwon, don’t even try to think about it!”

Some people looked at him with concerned eyes. They thought maybe the burden of studying finally got into the poor boy who was talking to himself.

Jungwon was about to turn into the corner of the hallways, when he saw it.

Jay was there, with someone else.

A girl.

The conversation was loud and clear on Jungwon’s ears.

“You need to fulfil your promise Jay, buy me a coffee!” The girl grabbed Jay’s arm, she was clearly flirting with him.

Jungwon felt a lump on his throat when he heard Jay say “Okay, I’ll buy you a drink.”

Yeah Jungwon, don’t even try to think about it.

* * *

Jungwon left the scene immediately.

He didn’t know where his legs brought him. He didn’t even know what he was doing, what his heart was feeling.

He aggressively rubbed his eyes, he could tell that the tears fought hard to fall.

He felt dumb.

He was stupid to believe that maybe, somehow, Jay was serious about him, about them.

Jungwon was furious at himself for falling once again without realizing when. He just realized that the happiness he felt every time he spent time with Jay was some kind of warning.

They were nothing, Jungwon said it himself before.

But maybe Jay’s ‘efforts’ successfully convinced him that there could be something between them, and Jungwon chose to believe that blindly.

Jungwon took his phone out. He could see few of Jay’s messages he didn’t get to read last night after their phone call.

The chatroom filled with love stickers the other had sent him.

He should have known.

He should have backed off.

He should have stopped before he got hurt.

And it was too late for every ‘should’ he had missed.

_‘Do you want to block this number?’_

_‘Yes.’_

* * *

“People are so strange Sunoo.” Jay had his arm around his best friend’s shoulder.

They were walking side by side, Jay had just come back from the bathroom when he saw Sunoo on the hallways, walking alone.

“You’re strange.” Sunoo simply said.

Jay playfully tightened his hold on Sunoo’s shoulder, locking the other on a headlock.

“Okay, okay!” Sunoo quickly gave up. “What do you mean by that?”

Jay let go off him and back to place his arm like before. “So, I was about to go to the toilet right?”

Sunoo just nodded.

“And suddenly, this girl, I don’t remember her name, came to me and started to complain saying that I’m lying about buying her a drink!”

“You do that all the time.”

“I know right?? Normally people would give up once I tell them I’ll talk to them later!” Jay didn’t understand. “It’s like a code you know?”

“Huum, your bad habit code.” Sunoo could see his best friend rolled his eyes. “What’s so strange about that then?”

“So I thought that she just really wanted the coffee, but when I asked her how much money she wanted to buy it, she suddenly got mad and left???”

Sunoo stopped their track. Did his best friend just-

“She even stepped on my foot before leaving! Look! My shoe got dirty.”

Sunoo lost his mind. He stepped on Jay’s foot as well, the one that wasn’t dirty yet.

“Sunoo what the fuck?!”

“You’re so dumb!”

“What?! How?!”

“She wanted to have a coffee with you, not from you!” He pointed at Jay. “And besides, you said you’re serious with Jungwon, why did you talk to her in the first place?!”

“I’m serious with Jungwon! That’s why I wanted to give her the money so she can go by herself!” Jay took his phone out from his pocket. “Look how many messages I ignored since the day I told you I’m serious about him.”

Sunoo took a look at Jay’s phone. Well, that’s a lot of messages, even him didn't get that much.

“I really like him Sunoo, I’ve never been so sure about my own feelings before I met Jungwon, but hell, that boy is different.” Jay smiled when he remembered how cute the other was when he got flustered. “Maybe it’s time for me to settle down.”

“You sound like you’re already 45.”

Sunoo looked at his best friend. Jay was right, Jungwon was different, he managed to make his playboy friend being this whipped to someone.

“Well maybe I just want to get old.” Jay said playfully. “With Jungwon preferably.”

Sunoo cackled at that. “Don’t say it in front of Jungwon. He will kick you before you get to finish it.”

Jay just laughed. Maybe he sounded like he was joking, but the thought of being together with the younger one for a long time, left him daydreaming, maybe he wanted to picture a future with Jungwon already.

Shit, he had fallen too deep.

Well, it wasn’t like Jay really minded it. He loved diving into the deep sea.

They were about to continue their walk to their classroom. But Sunoo immediately left him alone in the middle of the hallway to run to someone.

“Niki!” Sunoo called cheerfully. “Taki!” He said the other’s name as well. 

Niki and Taki turned their head from the notice board to look at someone who was running to them.

Sunoo stopped right in front of them. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Hi Hyung.” Taki greeted him. “Hello Jay Sunbae.” Jay just catched up to his best friend.

Jay gave Taki a smile before turning to Sunoo and swung his arm around his best friend's shoulder like before. “You can’t just leave me alone!” He was about to mess with Sunoo’s hair when he saw the look on Niki’s face.

Well shit.

Jay immediately stepped back from Sunoo. Niki’s stare really was scary, no wonder Daniel terrified the last time.

“Ha- haha what were you reading?” Jay tried to shift the conversation, he turned to the notice board with a bunch of posters being glued on it.

Sunoo seemed to be interested as well, not aware of the burning stare on his shoulder before. “School festival?” He read the poster.

“They already put the poster hm…” Sunoo mumbled to himself. It was Heeseung’s last project as school president, knowing his brother’s hard work, this year's festival would be big, like really big.

He felt someone tugged him on the sleeve. It was Niki.

“Is it fun Hyung? The festival.” The younger asked him.

“It’s Niki's first school festival here.” Taki said. “What did you do last year Hyung?”

Sunoo beamed. “Trust me, it will be really fun! They will open the gate for the outsider, and there would be a lot of food stands and-”

Sunoo excitedly explained. “-concert, and oh- Jay!” He turned to his best friend.

“You remember when we won the best couple last year?” Sunoo suddenly asked Jay. Who immediately turned his head in the speed of light to see Niki’s reaction.

Damn it Sunoo!

“Best, couple?” Niki asked in a low voice. It seemed only Sunoo who hadn't realized the shift of mood on the younger.

Taki held his laugh.

“Yeah! There were no couples in our class, but we wanted to enter as much as competitions we could, so we decided to have fun and pretend to be boyfriends for weeks before the festival began!” Sunoo laughed at himself, it was so silly of them back then. “And guess what! We won! It was such a mess when we ‘broke up’.”

Jay panicked when he saw Sunoo took his phone out, he didn’t know what the other was about to do, but hell, he was scared. 

“We even have these fanbases-” Sunoo continued.

Jay was about to lose his mind, he felt the winter was coming too soon, it was cold.

“Oh look! Some of Sunjay’s fan bases are still active haha.”

That’s it, Jay was done.

“Hahaha Sunoo!” He glanced at Niki. “We have class in ten minutes hahaha, let’s go!” He dragged the other even before Sunoo got to say goodbye properly to Niki and Taki.

“Enjoy your classes!” Sunoo yelled from the end of the hallways before being dragged again by his best friend.

Taki’s laugh broke down.

“You really need to stop it Niki.” He said to his best friend between laughs.

Niki just didn’t understand. “Stop what?”

“Being jealous over nothing.” Taki said after his laughter died down. “It’s not healthy to get jealous every time someone is being close to Sunoo Hyung, you know.”

“I’m not jealous, I never got jealous.”

Well, Niki didn’t know the name of the feelings he had on his chest everytime the situation Taki had said occurred. It was safe to say that he didn’t get jealous if he couldn’t name the feelings was it?

“Yeah yeah, you’re jealous all the time. It’s funny how Sunoo Hyung seems to be oblivious about it as well haha.”

“Whatever.”

Taki wanted to laugh at his best friend. He saw Niki start to leave. He was about to follow his best friend when suddenly Niki stopped.

“Hey Taki.”

“Hm?”

“What was it again?”

“What?”

“Sunjay?”

“Niki!” Taki just lightly pushed his best friend while laughing, seriously, Niki needed help.

* * *

“I can’t believe it Jay.” Sunoo sat on his desk, Jay was busy with his phone. “The teacher won’t be here for another 30 minutes! I should be talking with Niki and Taki instead of doing nothing!”

“No no I’m just saving myself from being murdered.” Jay said. His eyes still glued on his phone, his eyebrows knitted together.

Sunoo wasn’t sure about what Jay meant by that actually. “What are you doing?” He asked the other.

“I’ve been trying to reach Jungwon, but fails everytime.” Jay gave the phone to Sunoo. “Can you fix my phone?”

Sunoo took the phone and called Jungwon’s number.

…

..

.

Sunoo put down the phone. “Jay, what did you do?”

“I don’t know! I just placed my phone in my pocket as usual.”

“No, I mean-” Sunoo looked at him intently. “What did you do to Jungwon that made him blocking you?”

“What? What the hell?!” Jay took the phone from Sunoo.

“Yeah Jay, what the hell.”

* * *

Sunghoon needed to confess fast.

He started to see Jake everywhere.

He was buying some drinks in the convenience store when he noticed Jake’s favorite milk, when he turned into another aisle he saw the shampoo the other used.

Jake was everywhere.

He even saw Layla’s face on the dog treats. He didn’t even know Layla’s favorite!

Damn it. 

Sunghoon needed help.

Luckily, he saw Jake’s favorite Hyung in the store.

“Hyung!” Heeseung turned around when he heard someone called him.

Sunghoon excitedly walked toward him.

Shit he was caught. 

Heeseung quickly hid the things on his hands behind him. “Oh? Hi Sunghoon!”

Sunghoon smiled. “What are you doing here Hyung?”

Buying something of course.

But it wasn’t everyday to see Heeseung being here by himself in the store.

“Take a guess, clue number 1, we’re at the store.”

The younger just laughed. “It’s just so rare to see you buying something here.”

“You make me sound like a spoiled brat.”

“Hahaha, I’m sorry, what are you buying then?”

Heeseung regretted his sassiness immediately. It wasn’t like he bought something embarrassing! Really, nothing was embarrassing about buying packs of gummy.

It was just that, he would look so childish to crave this much sweets.

Sunghoon’s gaze fell on the shelf in front of them. Sweets.

“You like sweets Hyung?”

“Fuck it, yeah, what about it?” He threw the gummies into his basket that was already filled with any kind of sweets.

Sunghoon laughed once again. “Are you being possessed by Sunoo, Hyung?” He crouched down to take the sweets that fell from Heeseung’s aggressive throwing.

“Maybe?” Yeah, let Sunoo take the blame. It was his fault after all, he didn’t know that gummy bear was this good before Sunoo dragged him here that day.

Sunghoon seemed to have something on his mind.

“Do you have anything to do after this Hyung?”

* * *

They were at the park in front of the dorm. The sky started to change color, it reminded Heeseung of the orange juice he was holding, Sunghoon had bought him. They sat beside each other on the bench.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I think of confessing to Jake.”

Heeseung didn’t know what to say. The can was cold on his hand, but he couldn’t find something else to hold onto. Before he completely fell on the ground, turning into shambless of sadness.

It was really about the time.

Heeseung smiled, the brother in him took charge.

He placed his arm around the younger’s shoulder, giving him some encouragement. “Why do you sound not so sure about it?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I’m not really sure about it?”

“What’s on your mind?”

“I’m afraid that Jake didn’t like me that way.”

Heeseung had never wanted to throw canned juice at someone this bad. Maybe he should, who knew that it might wake Sunghoon?

“Don’t you have any other fear beside that?”

Sunghoon laughed softly. “Trust me Hyung, I have a lot.”

Falling in love with your best friend, came with reasons to be happy and a lot of worries.

Sunghoon’s mind had been filled with terrifying probabilities. He didn’t know how Jake would react to him liking the other. Jake might look fine these days, he was happy to see the other at ease, but sometimes, Jake was unpredictable, with his sudden withdrawal and such.

Years worth of friendship was at stake.

He didn’t want to lose the other after the confession.

Sunghoon had always loved the thrill of unexpectedness. He loved the feeling he got when he tried to do an axel jump while skating. He didn’t know if he would end up succeeding or bleeding.

Sunghoon had always loved it.

But he found himself hated the feelings right now.

Heeseung stared at the other, the worry was visible on the younger’s face. “You have a lot of worry and you don’t share it with me? How selfish of you.”

That brought a smile into Sunghoon. He was so grateful that he had Heeseung, someone he could always count on, someone who would always lend him a hand even before he was asked to.

He was thankful he had Heeseung here.

He just didn’t know how much pain the older had to bear to stay.

“Sunghoon-ah.” Heeseung called the younger. “Don’t worry about Jake’s reaction, just think about how you're gonna confess to him.”

“Don’t think about the result, it was already given in the first place.” Heeseung continued.

“Please don’t give me hope Hyung, it will hurt later.” Sunghoon jokingly said.

‘I know.’

Heeseung wanted to say, instead he just laughed.

False hope. He was so familiar with those words, he tended to give himself one all the time. Maybe he kinda loved the pain.

“When are you confessing?”

“I don’t know, I want it soon, but honestly I don’t have any idea how.”

Sunghoon being clueless was funny for Heeseung.

“Don’t laugh at me!”

“Sorry.” Heeseung tried to hold it. “Have you ever imagined it before?” He glanced at the younger. “Confessing I mean.”

“Everyday.” Sunghoon sounded so sincere, no glitch of lies in those eyes. “All the time.”

Heeseung hated the sound of glass breaking, it was too loud and made too much mess to deal with.

Maybe he should ask Sunoo’s doctor if it was possible for the heart to be made of glass.

He felt like he lost the younger already.

Happiness was always being tied to summer. The season of laughter and joy, being free of any burden people had to endure all year long, as if all of that just magically evaporated by the heat.

But Sunghoon was winter.

And Heeseung disliked the idea of him being mentioned in the sadness. The season of bone wrecking chill, dark sky and long night.

Winter was Heeseung’s favorite season. And he missed the cold already.

“How do you imagine it?”

“I stand in front of him, saying, ‘I like you’-” Sunghoon’s imagination always ended with something called bad ending. “-and then he turned around leaving me.”

Heeseung slapped the back of Sunghoon’s head playfully, but he wished the message was delivered just the same.

“What are you? An angst writer?”

“I told you, I have a lot of fears.”

Heeseung let out a breath and shifted to his side, making a room between him and Sunghoon on the bench. He then opened his arms wide. “Come here, let me give you a hug.”

Sunghoon was dumbfounded at first, but he just simply obliged. He moved closer and Heeseung immediately pulled him, embraced Sunghoon’s figure with his arms.

The older one gave him pats on his back. Heeseung wished with every touch he gave to Sunghoon, the fears the other had, would simply disappear and left the younger at ease.

“Don’t be afraid Sunghoon-ah.” Heeseung’s hug was always the best. “You have me, I’ll help you with anything.”

_Even if it would hurt me._

“Just make sure you’re ready and that’s it!” Heeseung pulled away. “I’ll always be right behind you, don’t worry.”

Sunghoon smiled at the other. Heeseung was right, his brother would always be there. 

For him.

For Jake

For them.

“Okay.” He held Heeseung’s hand. “Thank you.” He didn’t know what to say beside that. “I’m so grateful.”

Heeseung said nothing, he just smiled softly. The cold started to completely leave him with every second passed Sunghoon’s hand on his.

Sunghoon looked at the sky, it got dark already. “Let’s go back, Hyung. It’s getting dark.”

Heeseung shook his head. “I need to do something first. You go back, it looks like it’s about to rain.”

“Do you want me to help you with that Hyung?”

Heeseung just laughed. “You don’t even know what I’m going to do!” Heeseung stood up. “It’s something to do with the student council, there are too many reports on bullying lately.”

“Jaeha?”

“Who else?”

Heeseung already fed out with Jaeha’s behaviours for a long time, he practically begged the teachers to take real actions. But they kept declining, saying they needed real proof or something, as if the victim's statements weren’t real proof.

They were blinded with money.

Jaeha was a real problem.

But the truth was, he just wanted to be alone right now, without the younger who always unconsciously reminded him about his one sided feeling.

“Don’t go home too late Hyung.” Sunghoon handed him another can of drink. “We’re worried that you’re not getting enough rest.”

Heeseung took the drink from him.

“Thanks.” He smiled at the younger.

Heeseung waved at Sunghoon, the younger left after making sure that Heeseung wouldn’t tire himself too much.

“Oh right-” Sunghoon turned around. “Do you want to go ice skating next week Hyung?”

That was too sudden.

Ice rink.

The place that started all of Heeseung’s tragedies, the ones that had Park Sunghoon’s name on it.

“We didn’t get to spend time with the others before, the five of us.” The younger continued.

Heeseung nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay! I’ll tell the others!” Sunghoon said before leaving for real this time.

The smile fell immediately once Sunghoon disappeared.

He looked at the drink on his hand, it was coffee.

As if his night wasn’t bitter enough already.

Ice rink.

The memories of frozen breath got him shivered

Rain always ended up coming back to the sea, no matter how far it went, no matter how many lands it visited, no matter how many rivers it flowed.

Everything always came back to where it started.

That, what Heeseung trusted.

* * *

Niki laid on his bed, the room was dark.

He turned to his side to see Jungwon who soundly ‘asleep’ on his own bed. He knew the other never really went to the dream land.

Jungwon was awfully quiet today, Niki was surprised when Jungwon got home to their dorm a few hours ago, with Daniel tailing behind him.

Daniel’s message wasn’t helping at all.

_‘Just leave him alone, he had a really bad day today.’_

His room mate had been on his bed since before. Just quietly stayed still, but Niki knew the other was awake, he could hear constant heavy sighs from Jungwon.

Niki took his phone from the night stand. The page opened immediately once he unlocked his phone.

He had been reading the pages for hours.

It was kinda surprising that he found a lot of pages about Kim Sunoo.

He was just curious about the fan base Sunoo had talked to him today. Sunjay.

Turned out people were shipping Sunoo with Jay, and called the pair as Sunjay. He just learned the words today.

Niki even found a Sunseung page for Sunoo-Heeseung. The page’s followers thought that the brothers' interaction was so sweet. Niki couldn’t blame them, sometimes Sunoo was too clingy to the older one. It was cute.

See? Niki didn’t get jealous easily.

Some of the pages were only jokes, but some were serious about it.

He even found a page for Jaeha-Sunoo. Niki didn’t think twice before reporting the page immediately. It barely had any followers, and Niki was so sure that page was made by Jaeha’s minion under the older one’s order. Bet even he asked them to follow it.

There was nothing interesting about the pages actually, beside the picture of Sunoo on them. He didn’t know that taking pictures without the person’s concern was a thing. But knowing Sunoo, he loved his picture being taken, Niki even found the pictures where Sunoo clearly posed on them, it was cute.

But what made Niki couldn’t leave the pages were, the comments section.

_‘Our sunshine is so cute!’_

_‘I saw him sleeping in the library today!’_

_‘Oh I’m so worried about him.’_

_‘Why’_

_‘Why’_

_‘Tell us’_

_‘Spill the tea already.’_

_‘You know that boy Niki from the first year? The one that has gotten closer to our sunshine.’_ Niki held his breath when he read them. _‘I hear he fighted a lot. Don’t think our sunshine is aware of that.’_

_‘Poor sunshine, he is so pure that bad people always want him!’_

_‘Enough with Jaeha, now Niki?’_

_‘I’m afraid he gets hurt.’_

_‘Bad people bring bad lucks’_

_‘Hope Sunoo doesn’t get hurt because of them!’_

Niki rolled to his other side.

The sentences remained on his mind all night.

The scene from his first meeting with Sunoo. The older one ended up fainting with a bloody nose.

That time, Niki got caught red handed fighting under the rain, the night Taki came back. Sunoo left with a swollen ankle and couldn’t come to school for a whole week after that.

And Niki knew that the other was emotionally hurting as well.

Niki was so sure that he could protect Sunoo from Jaeha. But he didn’t know if he could protect the other from himself, and all the bad things that surrounded him.

_Bad people bring bad lucks_

Bad luck, that was the closest Niki could describe his fates.

Niki was rarely afraid. And when he got one. It always had something to do with this particular person named Kim Sunoo.

  
to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just a bit of trivia, if Jakehoon’s part has a name, I would like to call it ‘Reason’. And for Jaywon? I already have it in mind.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the chapter! I’m so grateful for every kudos and comments!  
> I reread them every time I feel down or just need a boost of motivation to do my every day’s life!
> 
> You can find me on twitter @yeonlyfe as always.  
> Hope you have a wonderful day ahead and don’t forget that you’re loved! Stay safe and healthy everyone!!  
> See you in the next chapter!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if he was the sun and the other was the planet that orbited around him. It almost felt like being loved by the younger. But he knew, he was no sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE END NOTES!!

It’s been days since the last time Jay got to talk to Jungwon.

Jay didn’t really understand why they got back into a square one all over again. He thought that the younger started to open his heart slowly for him already, but hell, turned out Jungwon just slammed the door right in front of his face. 

Jay tried to talk to the younger, of course, but Jungwon just constantly refused to see him, he even went far into not eating his lunch in the cafeteria only for the sake of avoiding the older one.

What did Jay do to deserve Jungwon’s cold shoulder?

Honestly, Jay was tired. He never got this kind of mistreatment by others. But he found himself not wanting to give up yet.

He wouldn't give up on Jungwon yet.

That’s why he was here, in the practice room cornering Daniel who got more centimeters than him, damn it, what did his parents feed this child to be this tall?!

They just finished their practice for today. They would perform at the school festival soon. Jay’s schedule was hell, and Daniel just really wanted to sleep on his bed already, but shit, the Satan himself wouldn’t let him move even an inch.

“Tell me already.”

“Hyung, you need to talk to him yourself.” Daniel rolled his eyes.

“How am I going to talk to him if Jungwon doesn’t even want to see me???”

Daniel knew that Jay was right.

Actually, Daniel saw this coming. Knowing Jungwon with his trauma, and how Jay’s past couldn’t be just simply erased at all.

Daniel wanted them to get better, he wished Jungwon would be healed, and he lowkey wanted Jay to be the reason. 

He had his own purpose after all. The time wouldn’t stop just because he begged.

“Jay Hyung.” He called the older one. “You said you won’t hurt him.”

“I did!” Jay was confused. “I’m trying my best to focus on him, I’ve been ignoring all these people who tried to talk to me.” He showed the younger his phone.

Daniel just spared the phone a glance. “Seems like not all of them tho.”

“What?”

Daniel sighed. “Hyung, let’s talk.”

* * *

“That’s not true!” Jay explained. “I mean, yes, I kinda say that, but- I just wanted to give her money so she can buy it herself!”

“Do you expect Jungwon to stand there listening to your conversation after he heard that Hyung?”

Jay got silent. If he were Jungwon, he wouldn’t even want to stay for another second. But he wished Jungwon did.

It was only a wish after all.

Both of them were sitting on the floor right now. Jay felt the cold under him. This kind of realization was never warm to begin with.

“I told you Hyung, he had some problems with a player before. He is being really careful around you, he is ready to back off if you make a wrong move, no matter how big or small the mistake is, Jungwon wouldn’t care.”

Jay stunned on the ground, he wondered, how deep the wound on Jungwon’s heart was, to make the younger to be this afraid to fall.

“What should I do?” He was basically asking himself, but he found a voice holding an answer for him to listen.

“You know, this is the last time I’m going to help you Hyung.” Jay’s ears perked at that, he was surprised that Jungwon’s best friend was willing to help him once again. “But if you messed this up once again, don’t expect another chance.” The younger warned him.

Jay nodded vigorously. He didn’t even think twice before agreeing. He found out that he hated hurting Jungwon so much, intentionally or not.

Daniel shifted in his place. “Now, first step. Give me your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“Do you want me to help you or not?”

Jay reluctantly gave his phone to the younger. “Please help me.”

“Great.”

Daniel easily opened Jay’s phone. The older one needed to learn how to put a password on his phone. Jay always found the most basic thing as troublesome.

The younger’s finger danced around Jay’s screen. The phone owner didn’t really understand what Daniel was doing.

“Done!” Daniel chirped. He handed the phone back to Jay. “Now you don’t have any access to contact your exes or whoever you talked with before!”

Jay was dumbfounded. He tried to scroll past his contact, but he couldn’t, nothing left there. He turned to the younger. “Did you just delete my parents’ numbers as well?”

“Shit sorry.”

* * *

Sunoo was confused.

He paced around his room anxiously.

“What did I do wrong?” He mumbled to himself.

He was sure something was wrong. He glanced at his phone once again. The screen displayed an opened chatroom.

_‘Good night Niki!’ ‘Good night Sunoo Hyung’_

_‘Good morning Niki!’ ‘Good morning.’_

_‘Niki good night?’_

_‘Good morning!’_

_‘Niki?’_

Niki has been really quiet these days. It was barely, but Sunoo noticed that the other tried to avoid him as well.

Did he do something to upset the younger?

The last thing he remembered before Niki being like this was the day they accidentally met in the hallways. Sunoo didn’t think he did something wrong tho, even Niki waved back to him while smiling that day.

He needed to talk to the younger, he didn’t want to be drowned on his own worry like last time. 

But a part of himself was afraid.

What if the younger finally realized that Sunoo was annoying? What if Niki thought that Sunoo was too loud?

What if Niki no longer wanted him around? He wasn’t alone anymore after all.

Sunoo threw himself into the bed, he buried his head deep into the mountain of pillows that laid there.

See? His worry was slowly eating him alive. He hated himself.

They were just doing really well, at least Sunoo thought. He had gotten closer to Taki as well, there was no remaining of the ugly feeling he refused to name anymore. It was too embarrassing.

Sunoo wanted to curse whoever wrote their fate.

He needed to find Niki tomorrow.

* * *

Sunoo didn’t expect for the younger to find him first.

“Niki?”

Both of them were standing in front of the nurse room. Sunoo’s hand felt cold in the door’s handle.

Sunoo was about to open the nurse room when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turned out it was Niki’s.

The look on Niki’s face wasn’t explainable for Sunoo. “Niki? What’s wrong?”

“What- what happened to your arm?” Niki ignored the question from Sunoo.

Truthfully, Niki saw what happened.

The sun was shining too brightly, for him not to see them clearly. He saw how harsh Jaeha grabbed Sunoo’s arm, just like always, Niki was sure of that, Jaeha’s touch on Sunoo’s arm left an angry red mark and some scratches. Sunoo was too delicate for a kind like Jaeha.

Sunoo raised his eyebrow, he was surprised that Niki could see the scratches on his arm, it wasn’t hurt that much, it was only a bit reddish. Sunoo was only about to clean his scratches with some antiseptic and that was all, he was only worried that Jaeha didn’t clean his hands enough. Jaeha’s image on Sunoo was quite nasty.

Lately Jaeha had been starting to bug him again. He always appeared in front of Sunoo, everywhere someone could name. Saying some bullshits the younger didn’t even want to hear let alone remember.

And Jaeha even dared to get physical. He just pulled Sunoo in the yard before, resulting in scratches on Sunoo’s arm when he tried to get away from the other, Jaeha needed to learn more about self hygiene, Sunoo was disgusted when he remembered those dirty nails the others had.

It wasn’t really a big deal, but still Sunoo didn’t want Niki to get worried and worse, getting mad.

“Uhh this?” Sunoo raised his arm on eye level. “I get a bit itchy under the sun, guess I’m going a bit overboard with the scratching haha.”

He lied to the younger, who obviously didn't believe him. “Maybe I’m a vampire? Haha.” He tried to make a joke right now, how smart Sunoo!

Niki held his breath without meaning to do so. Sunoo was lying to him. How many lies the older one had told him all this time? How many times had he got hurt already? Quite a lot Niki reckond, seeing how many scratches that start to heal on the other’s arms.

Niki opened the nurse room’s door for Sunoo. “You were going to treat it, right?” Sunoo just nodded.

* * *

Sunoo quietly preparing the antiseptic for himself, he eyed Niki who was just standing on the door in silence. The nurse room was empty, Sunoo started to think that the nurse didn’t really enjoy the room as much as he was. Come on, who would enjoy this gloomy room that smelled like disinfectant anyway? Well, Sunoo was always on the different side of the world. He grew up in the hospital after all, nothing worse than the operation room, a mere school nurse room was nothing compared to that.

He glanced at Niki once again, Sunoo wanted to talk to the younger one about how strange he felt Niki’s behavior lately, as if he was avoiding Sunoo, he didn’t like it.

But Sunoo couldn't bring himself to talk, Niki seemed to have something on his mind as well.

He was too focused on guessing what was inside Niki’s mind that he accidentally spilled the antiseptic on the table.

He quickly grabbed a washcloth to clean it, but a hand just stopped him from doing so. “Let me help you Hyung.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll clean the table, you can clean your scratches.” Niki pointed at the bed. “You can sit there.”

That was the only thing that Niki dared to do, he couldn’t offer Sunoo a help on tending his scratches, even taking the washcloth from the other was burning for him, he was afraid that he accidentally hurt Sunoo even more, his palms were as rough as Jaeha’s after all.

* * *

Sunoo just sat there, openly staring at the younger who kept rubbing the table with the same washcloth for ten minutes. The table was clean already with only a few rubs, but Niki seemed obsessed on wiping it.

Something was really wrong, he knew the other was avoiding his eyes every time they talked.

“Niki.”

“Yes?” He didn’t even spare Sunoo a glance!

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Uh no?” Niki finally turned to him. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I feel like you have been avoiding me these days?”

Niki didn’t expect Sunoo to feel that way. He was only being cautious, he didn’t want Sunoo to get hurt because of him. But guess his attempts had accidentally included avoiding the older one.

“I don’t mean to do that Hyung.”

“What are you meaning to do then?”

“I- I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Sunoo was dumbfounded. How-

He was surprised when Niki suddenly threw the washcloth into the bin. “I need to go Hyung, I’m so sorry.”

Niki wasn’t ready to talk to Sunoo, he didn’t want Sunoo to know that he purposely looked at those pages about him just because of stupid jealousy and ended up stumbling upon mean comments about himself. He wasn’t ready for Sunoo to realize that what people said in those comments were indeed possible to happen, that Niki would only bring bad things to him. He wasn’t ready for Sunoo leaving him completely.

Niki needed to get away from here.

“See you later Hyung.” He closed the door behind him. Niki didn’t know how far the ‘later’ was.

* * *

Sunoo only stared at the door after Niki left. He tried to process whatever Niki just told him before.

_‘I just don’t want you to get hurt’_

“What the hell.” He cursed into thin air. Jay wouldn’t be happy with that.

No matter how hard he tried to look for the correlation between them, there was nothing, he started to think Niki was spouting nonsense only to get away from him.

But knowing the younger, every word bore something on them. 

And Sunoo was sad that Niki couldn’t even talk about this matter clearly with him and chose to leave. 

What happened to him?

* * *

Jungwon was trying to finish his home works. Key word, trying.

He just couldn’t focus on them.

Jungwon never said that he was an honest person. He tended to lie sometimes.

Mostly to himself.

He said he wouldn’t fall for Jay. When in fact, he did.

Long before they met in front of the dance practice room that damned day.

Jungwon remembered the moment quite hazy. The only thing he was sure about that day was the rain.

It was only a few days after the entrance ceremony. He forgot to bring an umbrella when last night the weather forecast clearly said that it would be raining the next day. Jungwon was waiting for the rain to stop.

_“Huh? You don’t have an umbrella?”_

Jungwon still remembered how kind the senior looked like under the dimmed light.

_“Here, you can use mine.”_

It was only natural for Jungwon to feel impressed by how kind that stranger was to him that time. He couldn’t even say thank you before the other ran under the rain, leaving him with his umbrella alone.

Maybe it was love at the first sight.

_“You can’t be serious Jay! You just gave my umbrella to someone else!”_

_“Well he looked so sad waiting for the rain!”_

_“Just say you thought he’s cute and go!”_

_“Well true he’s cute.”_

_“See he was only trying to show his charm, he’s a playboy after all.”_

The excitement Jungwon felt that day when he saw Jay on the hallways turned into a newform of pain. He remembered it well that he had put the umbrella into Jay’s locker days after, without a note, without a ‘thanks’.

Maybe that was the main reason for Jungwon’s ‘unreasonable’ hatred toward the other bloomed. Not because of his trauma he got from his ex, just because he was Jay. 

Jungwon was too ashamed that he was about to get fooled. That shame turned into hatred.

And that hatred melted.

Leaving his heart bare and more vulnerable than ever.

Jungwon liked to believe that Jay never gave the umbrella to him that day, he wanted to believe that they never met. He wanted his mistake not to be made.

But hell, Jungwon was a boy.

He got a lot to amend.

Jungwon glanced at his phone on the desk. Daniel had told him that the other would stop by later, saying he got something to say.

Without Jay spamming his notification with a bunch of nonsense, Jungwon’s phone was too quiet.

Maybe blocking Jay’s number was a good step to move on from the other. But maybe it wasn't that good at all. Jungwon left with the thought of the other even more.

He was grateful that Daniel always came over to give him food in his class at lunch, the other wouldn’t leave before Jungwon got at least a few bites.

Jungwon didn’t know if he was overreacting or not, but he got hurt, and he chose flight away instead of fighting the problem.

Knock Knock

Daniel must be here already. It was kinda impressive that finally his best friend learned how to be on time. He was kinda lonely because Niki hadn't come home yet.

Jungwon opened the door for him.

Flowers.

It was a bucket of white tulips.

The person lowered the flowers, revealing their face.

Jungwon immediately tried to close the door.

But Jay was fast enough, he managed to slip his foot before Jungwon could completely shut the door. Shit it was hurt.

“It’s a misunderstanding, I was only trying to give her some money so she can buy the drink by herself!” Maybe Jay could be a rapper one day.

“What?” Jungwon was confused.

Jay was only following Daniel’s instruction.

_“Just be straight with him, tell Jungwon about the misunderstanding immediately after you meet him. Don’t ask him to listen to you because you know damn well he wouldn’t want to even more if you tell him what to do.”_

Thanks Daniel, the tricks seemed working.

“I said, I’m not trying to cheat on you that day, it’s only a misunderstanding. I wasn’t going to have a coffee with her, I only want to give her some money so she can finally leave me alone.”

Jungwon only stared at him in silence.

“Daniel helped you didn’t he?”

Shit- Daniel I’m so sorry!

“Ughh please don’t be mad at him, I kinda force him to help me.” Jay tried to explain. “I was so desperate because you refused to see me.”

“Jay Hyung.” Jungwon called the other. “I know you weren’t cheating on me that day.”

Jay beamed. He was happy that finally-

“You can’t be cheating on me if we’re nothing.” Damn it.

People who walked on the hallways in front of Jungwon’s room started to give them attention. Who wouldn’t? Jay Park was standing in front of some 1st year room holding a big bucket of flowers, looking like a kicked puppy he was.

“Jungwon-” 

“Let’s just talk inside.” The younger opened the door completely, letting Jay inside.

* * *

“Jungwon, I’m so sorry.” Jay began once they were inside.

The younger said nothing, he walked to sit on his own bed. Jay was still standing there, he didn’t make a move to sit beside the younger.

Jay was being cautious.

“My friends were right, that my bad habit would bring me karma one day.” Jay said. Maybe he should start to listen to his friends more.

“I’m really serious when I said that I want to be closer to you Jungwon, when I said I want to be with you.” He continued.

Bad habit. Jungwon didn't completely agree with the term, maybe playing was only Jay’s nature to begin with. But maybe it really was only a bad habit.

“Why?” Jungwon asked.

“What?”

“Why are you trying so hard?”

Jay was stunned. Among the answers he had prepared before coming here, he couldn’t find one for that question.

“Because I like you.” That was the only truth Jay could manage to say for the question.

Jungwon wasn’t by any means a cry baby, but he could feel his eyes started burning.

“There are a lot of better people than me surrounding you.”

Jay walked closer this time, he sat in front of Jungwon, on the bed Jay presumed was Niki’s. He put the flowers on Jungwon’s lap.

“But they aren’t you.” Jay said. “No one is like you.”

“Trust me Hyung, you don’t want me.”

“If I don’t want you I wouldn’t be here.” Jungwon was surprised when Jay’s hand reached out to wipe the tears he didn’t know he shedded.

“I don’t know how to make you believe me Jungwon.” He smiled. “But Daniel thought that deleting all numbers on my contact list would help.”

“He even deleted my parents numbers as well as my friends.” Jay continued.

Jungwon looked at the flower Jay bought for him. White tulips. He always saw the flowers on funerals, but he knew that the flower bore another meaning. Forgiveness.

Bet Jay just randomly asked the florist for flowers that represent forgiveness.

“Jungwon-ah.” The older one called his name. “If it takes me completely stopping talking to other people for you to finally be at ease, I’ll do that. Just say it.”

“You don’t have to do that.” That was beyond obsessive and silly for Jungwon to ask Jay to do so.

“I can’t simply be at ease Hyung.” Jungwon stared at the other. “I have more fears than you think.”

Jungwon didn’t know what made him want to tell Jay about his fears. He didn’t need to, but still he wanted to.

“My father cheated on my mother when I was seven.” Jay listened to him attentively. He said nothing.

“That leaves a really big scar on my mother, and me.” Jungwon continued. “And then I stupidly got cheated on some times ago as well.”

“You know what I mean right?” The younger held the bucket closely. “The trauma is too deep.”

“You’re not stupid.” Jay suddenly said. “Your father and your ex are stupid.”

“Have you ever cheated on anybody, Hyung?”

That caught Jay off guard. 

“See, you can’t even answer me.” Jungwon didn’t mean to laugh at this moment, but still it was funny. He was funny having this conversation with him.

“I don’t think I ever cheated on someone before.” Jungwon raised his eyebrows at Jay’s answer. “You know that I never really been serious with someone before. I had never been in a real relationship.”

“Maybe I unintentionally made people cheat on their partner for me once or twice.” Jay was beyond honest. “But cheating on someone? I don’t think I ever did. I hate complicated things, and cheating is one of them.”

“You know that making people break up with their partner is as bad as cheating right?” Jungwon asked.

Jay cackled. “Well I don’t know about you Jungwon. But I never asked people to be with me before. They came by themselves, and the next thing I knew, some people getting mad at me for stealing their lovers.”

“You’re the first one I ever really wanted to be with.” He continued.

“I don’t know Hyung, I can’t really trust you when you sounded like a really bad person.”

“I know I can be really mean sometimes, but I want to be a better person.” Jay held Jungwon’s hand. “And I think I can learn from you Jungwon.”

Jungwon didn’t know what to say, Jay sounded so honest but he didn’t want to fall.

“You know, I’ll end up really hating you for yourself if you mess up once again.”

Jay really beamed at that. Jungwon gave him a second chance. Well technically Jay never messed up once, it was only a misunderstanding!

Jungwon stared at him.

Yeah he did mess up a really big time before.

“Does it mean you forgive me?”

“Depend on your choice.”

Jay immediately stood up. “Yes, I won’t disappoint you anymore! Trust me!”

Jungwon tended to give people a good second chance. It was a habit he learned. 

“Umm does it mean you’re opening your heart for me Jungwon?”

Jungwon wasn’t really sure about that, after all it had been opened a long time ago, he was just too ashamed to admit that.

Maybe he would regret this as well, but yeah, it was a habit.

“I don’t know.”

“Do I still get a chance?”

“Maybe?”

“GREAT” Jay looked so happy, almost like a kid. He was busy celebrating whatever it was.

That made Jungwon want to smile as well.

It was the last time.

* * *

Heeseung looked at the empty ice rink in front of him.

It brought a lot of memories.

Mostly memories about him.

Today was the day Sunghoon planned for them to have fun together. But Heeseung didn’t think he would really have fun today.

Today was the day.

Heeseung had been thinking for a while. And he kept reaching a dead end. It’s getting tiring, and Heeseung wasn’t really a masochist.

He wanted to end things already.

The cold from the ice rink creeped into him. He suddenly remembered the laughter of happiness from the crowd of people who were here more than a year ago.

They stared in the same direction as Heeseung, to a boy who was beautifully making a difficult jump looked so easy.

The music was upbeat, but Heeseung never saw a move as graceful as his.

He missed the younger already.

“Wow the place is empty!” Heeseung turned around to see Sunghoon walking toward him.

“How was your saturday Sunghoon?” Heeseung asked.

“It’s fun, my mom cooked a lot of food for me. She said I’m not going home enough haha.” Sunghoon said. “The others aren’t here already?”

Heeseung shook his head.

“I never saw the ice rink to be this empty on the weekend.” Sunghoon said.

Heeseung cackled. “Same, why don’t we make most of it?”

* * *

  
  


Sunghoon helped Heeseung to reach the center of the ice rink. “You’re a really good skater Hyung.”

“Thanks, getting a compliment from a master means a lot.”

Sunghoon just laughed softly at that.

Sunghoon let go of Heeseung's hand and skated away from him.

Heeseung was standing there. Looking at the younger, once again just like the last time.

Sunghoon turned around a few times, he looked like he belonged here, on the ice. Between the cold air and the hard surface.

Sunghoon was fast, he skated around in no time, making some jumps here and there.

“Woah.” Heeseung unconsciously said when he saw the younger successfully making an axel jump.

Sunghoon being happy like this was the one Heeseung loved the most. As if he was a year younger than today, he fell for Sunghoon once again in the same place.

Today, Heeseung would let himself fall.

Sunghoon skated around Heeseung, circling him. It was almost as if Heeseung was the center of Sunghoon.

As if he was the sun and Sunghoon was the planet that orbited around him.

It almost felt like being loved by the younger.

“It’s been a while.”

“But you still looked like you owned the place.” The older one said. “Sunghoon-ah, can you make a round for me?”

Sunghoon just smiled. He did what the older one told him.

Heeseung was content being like this. Here, standing looking at how beautiful the turn Sunghoon just made, how the younger looked like he was flying above the ice.

Sunghoon circled around him once again.

But Heeseung was no sun. 

That was enough.

“Wow skating on an empty rink is really fun.” The younger seemed to be really amazed by it.

Heeseung smiled. “I may or may not have rented the place for us.”

Sunghoon stopped immediately. “Wow sometimes I forget that you’re just as rich as Sunoo.”

“The others would be really happy to play here all day.” Sunghoon continued, smiling. He skated closer to the older one.

They were only a foot apart.

Heeseung didn’t know what kind of smile he had on his face right now. But suddenly, he felt pain. He held his breath a second more than usual. “The others won’t come today.”

Sunghoon’s face visibly showed his confusion.

Heeseung smiled. “Sunghoon-ah, I have something to tell you.”

  
to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! A bit of warning, you are about to read a really long endnotes. I’m so sorry and thank you in advance!
> 
> I hope you don’t get bored of this AU yet, because.. well, I still have more chapters to come haha. Can I ask you a question? What do you think about me updating this AU once a week? I feel like if I keep trying to update twice a week I’ll end up rushing the story… But if I updated it once a week.. it would be really long… I don’t want to keep you waiting as well.
> 
> I’m so sorry for the lack of particular ships and characters in each chapter. Trust me, I already have the plot planned out (no, don’t trust her).
> 
> So what do you guys think about it? I may even end up updating it irregularly because yeah the life of a college student is hard… Please help me…
> 
> I’m so surprised at the amount of love this story gets. I keep getting shocked each time I see the kudos go up one more point than before. (You can trust her with this one).
> 
> I'm a bit worried for today's chapter actually. Please don't hate me... Jay baby I love you.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the story up to this chapter as well!! Have a nice day! And please remember that you’re loved! Love you!!
> 
> See you in the next chapter!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> liars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi! Hope you don't get bored of this AU yet haha

“Sunghoon-ah, I have something to tell you.”

Honestly, Heeseung didn’t know what to say to Sunghoon.

The younger looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue whatever the older one was about to say to him.

Heeseung got reminded of one conversation among the others he had with Sunoo during the night, when they were nothing but being honest with themselves.

_“Will you tell him Hyung?”_

_“Who?”_

_“Sunghoon.”_

_“About?”_

_“Your feeling, about how you truly feel towards him. About how you ended up loving him.”_

That very night Jake had to hear them.

Heeseung always tried to make everything in his life as organized as possible. He even had planned what to wear for a week ahead, he just wanted to be prepared for everything ahead.

And honestly, Jake’s revelation cutted short Heeseung’s deadline by a lot.

He didn’t even know he had a deadline for his feelings all this long.

Heeseung stared at Sunghoon. The younger never failed to amaze him with his visuals everytime, with everything actually if he dared not to lie.

Damn, Heeseung wanted to cry.

“Is something wrong Hyung?” Sunghoon took a step toward him, the slippery ice made the distance look like nothing.

“You stay there.” Heeseung warned the younger. He didn’t want him to notice the build up tears on his eyes. Heeseung skated a bit further from the other.

Sunghoon was dumbfounded, something was really wrong.

“Sunghoon-ah.” His name never sounded so painful in Heeseung’s voice.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” The older one continued.

Sunghoon got a really warm feeling on his chest. The first time they met, it was here. The memories seemed to be precious to him as well, just like it was to Heeseung.

“Of course. You stood there like a fool.” Sunghoon pointed to the space on the side of the rink. “If it wasn’t for Sunoo, I would think that you’re just some weird guy, not one of the candidates for school’s president.” The younger smiled at the memory.

Heeseung mimicked the other. It was funny.

There was plenty of reason for someone to fall in love, and Heeseung fell for Sunghoon just by looking at the other making an axel jump. That was funny.

Though he found million other reasons following after it.

“You looked so amazing back then.” 

_You still are._

“And I can’t help but looking so dumb.” Heeseung continued.

Sunghoon seemed embarrassed. No matter how many times he got compliments from the older one, the way Heeseung looked so genuine made him feel shy like it was the first one.

“Don’t you think that this place is like our beginning Sunghoon-ah?”

Sunghoon looked around the place, it was indeed a place full of memories. “Yeah, the five of us had fun together for the first time here.” He turned to Heeseung.

_The five of us._

Heeseung laughed softly. Of course, the five of them. “Yeah, we had fun.”

“At that time, we knew nothing about the future that would lay upon us.” He looked at the younger who still had no idea. “We still are.”

The lack of movement made the cold creeped faster, piercing right into his chest, stabbing wounds on his heart.

Heeseung was a coward. It took him forever to gather the courage to ask for a chance.

He took a deep breath.

“We had no idea that one of us would fall for the other one.”

Of course, Sunghoon had no idea. 

Heeseung could tell that the other started to have something on his mind. The one that Heeseung could only wish to tell what.

He never had climbed a mountain. But he supposed that people weren’t lying that the frozen air would make it hard to breathe. The higher the land, the harder it took to grasp for air.

And he knew he was far above the shore.

Heeseung’s lungs tried the hardest to keep working under the freezing reality. 

He should have known that loving the winter was nothing but cold.

“Hoon-ah.” The voice started to crack. The nickname had never been this sad.

It was filled with desperation and longing.

“You know that I really love you right?” Heeseung smiled.

The younger stared at him for a second longer before answering. “Of course.”

Heeseung thought maybe dying would hurt less than this.

“You know that I love you just the same.” Sunghoon returned the smile.

But it wasn’t as sad.

_‘I mean, I fall for you.’_

Sunghoon you know nothing.

It would only take seconds to say those words. But again, Heeseung was nothing but a coward. 

“Of course.” He said instead. “That’s why we’re here.”

Sunghoon couldn’t really catch that.

“Jake would be here any seconds, and you’re going to confess right after I leave both of you alone.”

That’s it.

Heeseung finally said it.

His mother would be really proud of him for holding his tears.

“Huh??” Sunghoon was so confused. “What? Why???”

“You said you want to confess.”

“But it’s too soon!”

“You don’t want to?”

“No- I want to, but-”

Heeseung bravely took a step forward. “Sunghoon, I’m so tired of you guys being stupid.”

He was tired of himself being stupid. Hoping for nothing.

“Just confess already damn it!” 

_And let me leave in peace._

Heeseung realized that the only thing holding him back was this, he needed this confession to happen more than Sunghoon, more than Jake, more than anyone.

Sunghoon looked at the older one. “Why are you gone so far helping me Hyung?” He glanced at the empty rink. “You even rent this whole place.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

_Liar._

“That’s what a good brother does, isn’t it?”

_Liar._

Heeseung placed his hand on Sunghoon’s shoulder. “I know you would do just the same for me.”

_Please stop hurting me already._

Sunghoon smiled, then it turned into a giggle. “Of course, I would do anything for you as well Hyung, but maybe not the renting the whole ice rink part.”

A shadow of someone entered the place.

Heeseung met his due date.

“Hoon-ah.” The same sadness lingered, he wished the other hadn’t realized. “You know that I really love you right?”

Sunghoon looked at him silly. “You already asked that.”

“Just answer me you brat.”

The younger one smiled. Heeseung wished that the smile wasn’t that sincere. But Heeseung never got what he needed lately. 

“Of course I do.”

_Liars._

You don’t know Sunghoon.

Heeseung turned around. He could see that Jake just stood outside the ice rink alone, looking at their direction.

It was the time for him to leave, but the reason he couldn’t bear to look at Sunghoon was his wet tears.

“You can treat me later, just confess for now.”

Heeseung started to skate away from the younger. The distance between them was nothing compared to how far he mentally felt his place from Sunghoon.

“Hyung!” He didn’t want to turn even though Sunghoon yelled out his name just now.

“Thank you.” It wasn’t loud, but somehow he still could hear Sunghoon’s voice. He always did.

This place was their beginning, and it only fair for it to be the witness of their ending. That was funny because they started nothing.

Heeseung waved his hand, saying goodbye to the boy who stood alone in the middle of this frozen lake.

He got near to Jake who was looking so confused. The younger reached out his hand toward him, but Heeseung immediately stopped it.

“No, it’s okay.” He knew Jake was about to wipe his tears. “Here.” Heeseung pulled something out of his back pocket.

Uno reverse card.

Heeseung looked like he lost his mind already, laughing while tears streamed down his face like this.

Despite the strange thing Heeseung just did, Jake understood the meaning. His Hyung was so dumb for this.

“Seriously?”

“Of course, you think I’m joking?” Heeseung breathed out the cold air from his lungs. “Just be together already and let me rest Jake.”

“You sound like you’re dying and want to rest in peace.”

_Maybe I am._

Heeseung just smiled. “Ah Jake, I really need to go right now.” He said it loudly, making sure Sunghoon was listening. “Go have fun with Sunghoon, bye!”

He quickly got out of the rink, good thing he didn’t forget how to walk properly.

Jake looked at Heeseung’s figure that started to blur.

Last night Heeseung called him, saying that Jake needed to come to the ice rink today, it was strange because he just heard Jay say that their plan was canceled by Heeseung just a moment ago.

_“Just prepare yourself, don’t tell anyone.”_

Jake didn’t expect that Heeseung just pulled out a reverse card on him.

Maybe it was the older one's revenge for Jake. He had pushed Heeseung to Sunghoon multiple times before after all. 

But why did his Hyung look so sad?

Jake understood the feeling of trying to let go your loved one for other people. He was sad doing so, but why did Heeseung look like he lost something so important? Like reason was nothing but a mere word.

Maybe Jake didn’t understand at all. Their feelings were different after all. He didn’t know how a year worth of unrequited love felt like. Maybe that was why Heeseung was hurting so bad.

He was so immersed at the card in his hand that he didn’t realize Sunghoon had skated toward him.

He braced himself on the side of the rink. “What’s that?”

“Huh?” Jake was surprised. “Heeseung Hyung gave it to me.” 

“Isn’t that reverse card from my uno deck?” Sunghoon was sure that he lost one of his reverse cards weeks ago. “Why did he give it to you?”

“You know his humor.” Jake gave the card to Sunghoon. “It was just his silly prank on me.”

Sunghoon laughed softly. His heart beating so fast, being alone like this with Jake.

He looked at his best friend. “Why don’t you join me?”

“Okay.” Jake said.

* * *

If Heeseung's life was a whole melodrama, it should be raining outside already and someone ran to catch him, preventing him from leaving. 

But turned out his life was nothing but sad endings being compiled and titled as movies.

He walked to the parking lot, the sun shining too bright for him to hide the glimmering tears on his cheeks.

He couldn’t do it.

Heeseung crouched on the ground, he hugged himself and cries.

It shouldn’t hurt this bad. But Heeseung was nothing but young, he got a lot to learn. And they said the best teacher was experience.

The sky was too clear for it to suddenly rain. But someone held an umbrella over him.

“So stupid.”

Heeseung lifted his head to see someone before him.

“So so damn stupid.” Sunoo repeated.

“Sunoo-ya.” Heeseung tried to put a smile, but still the pain was real.

Sunoo crouched before him. “Come here you dummy.” He hugged his brother tightly.

They didn’t care if they looked silly hugging in the parking lot like this.

Heeseung didn't know that he wanted nothing but being comforted like this. Guess he was too used at being the one giving.

They were sweating but Heeseung could care less about the heat.

He hugged Sunoo back, and cried again.

* * *

Sunghoon and Jake skated side by side.

Jake skilfully turned around a few times.

“Look Sunghoon! I can make a perfect turn!”

Sunghoon already stared at his best friend since the moment he stepped into the ice with his ice skates.

“Jake.” He called the other.

“Hm?” Jake seemed fascinated at how cold the ice was under him. It was cute.

“Let’s make a bet.”

“A bet?” Jake’s ear perked at that. Sunghoon knew that Jake had always love playing game like this, they always bet on something stupid.

“Yeah, let’s play catch, if you can run from me, I’ll grant one of your wishes.” He looked at Jake who stared at him. “And you’ll grant mine if I can catch you.”

Jake smiled playfully. “Okay.”

He knew the other was weak to this kind of play.

“1 2 3!” Jake started early and caught Sunghoon off guard. He should know that Jake loved playing dirty as always.

Jake was already on the other side of the ice rink, making faces at him.

Sunghoon’s worry washed away by the wind as he skated trying to catch Jake who started running.

They wished life was as simple as this.

Being together, doing silly things.

Nothing to worry.

Jake thought that today was nothing but a day to spend with him.

But Sunghoon seemed to have another thing.

“Got you.” Sunghoon said when he finally caught the other.

He securely held Jake by his shoulder, holding him in place.

Jake was laughing while trying to get away from him.

“Okay okay! Let me go haha.” He said while patting Sunghoon’s arm that wrapped around him.

His best friend did just as he told him.

“I shouldn’t have made a bet with an ice prince.” Jake said.

Sunghoon felt rather funny by Jake’s nickname for him. “You know that you’re stupid.”

“Well at least I’m better at playing violin.”

“You shouldn’t compare these things.”

Sunghoon and Jake were always like that. Bickering over something unnecessary.

Planning some pranks on their best friend like a daily routine.

Making each other smiling.

They were always something.

“It sucks that you’re good at skating.” Sunghoon suddenly asked.

“Why? Because you can’t hold me when I’m slipping?” Jake said jokingly, just like their other friendly flirting.

“Yeah.”

He didn’t prepare Sunghoon to admit so easily.

Both of them said nothing. Just staring.

“I’m sure you’re aware of my feelings already Jake.”

Jake held his breath deep. He stared at the reverse card Heeseung gave him earlier that poked out the Sunghoon’s jacket.

Heeseung was always going all out on his revenge. Maybe it wasn't revenge at all.

His brother was too kind to hold a grudge after all.

“Jake.” Sunghoon took a step closer to him.

To say Jake was unprepared was understatement. 

And honestly? Sunghoon was unprepared as well. But yeah, somehow Heeseung made him do the impossible in such a short time.

“I like you.”

The sentence only consists of three simple words. But the meaning when the three of them being put together made any heart would flutter.

Jake almost could hear his own heartbeat.

“I-” He lost his voice out of sudden.

The fear started to fill him.

The memories from his childhood woke him violently. The withered flowers, empty vase, and regret.

Sunghoon held his hand.

And suddenly Jake got reminded of the bookmark Sunoo made for him.

_“See? There are a thousand ways to make this flower stay pretty. You don’t have to be afraid Jake, beside you could always water it if you want to keep them alive.”_

But Sunghoon wasn't a flower.

Jake still could recall Heeseung’s tears. He should have known that it was more than stupid prank on him.

It was more than that.

Jake looked straight at Sunghoon’s eyes.

“I know.” He finally said.

The hold on his hand started to tighten. “What do you think about it then?” Sunghoon asked.

Jake never really imagined being confessed by Sunghoon before. He didn’t know what to expect when the other one decided to tell him about his feelings.

But it was close to nothing compared with scenes he read on Sunoo’s stories.

It was nothing fancy, just two of them standing in the middle of an ice rink. Without a candle or romantic song playing.

But still, Jake found himself smiling.

“You know that I’m really bad at lying.” He started to say. “You should know the answer already just by looking at me.”

Sunghoon laughed softly. Jake knew that was a vague answer. Sunghoon must be really nervous right now, who wouldn't be nervous when confessing to someone anyway?

He remembered that one time a girl was shaking after confessing her feelings to Sunoo who politely rejected her.

And Sunghoon being nervous was a sight to see. He couldn’t help but want to tease him.

“Grey isn’t my favorite colour.” Sunghoon said.

“I know.”

“Then, what do you say?” Sunghoon continued. Jake always found Sunghoon’s eyes mesmerizing. “Will you be my boyfriend Jake?”

“Okay.”

Sunghoon shocked by the immediate answer from the other.

Jake laughed softly at Sunghoon’s confused face. He gave the other light squeeze on his hand before letting go and skate away.

“Now you need to catch me again.” Jake glanced at the other, a smile plastered on his face. “Boyfriend.”

The gear on Sunghoon’s head failed to process the information.

Maybe he needed to check his hearing later, and stop by the cardiologist while at it, the way his heart was beating right now seemed not that healthy.

But Jake’s smile reassured him that he was alright.

The laugh erupted once again. The place was ice cold, but somehow both of them felt warm all over.

It was beyond science explanation.

Maybe if their life was part of a story, this scene would be their favorite.

* * *

“Shit-”

Jungwon turned to his side, he was laying on a bed, reading a manhwa on his phone. “Can you stop cursing for a minute, Hyung?”

“Shit sorry.” The owner of the bed who was pushed to sit on the ground hours ago barely gave him any proper response. Jay was too busy killing his opponent in a game.

Jay sat on the floor just beside the bed Jungwon was in, he leaned his back toward it.

Jungwon put away his phone, choosing to watch the boy who was so immersed on his phone. He could only look at the back of Jay’s head and part of his shoulder who moved frantically as the game resumed.

The situation they were in was so strange for Jungwon.

Just days ago he refused to see him even for his shadow, but right now Jungwon found himself tucked comfortably on the other’s bed.

It was rather domestic.

This morning, as always, Jay called him to complain about his life. This time he was pissed that the plan he had with his best friends was canceled for a reason Jay barely knew. And his roommate just disappears as soon as Jay regains his consciousness from sleeping.

Even Sunoo was magically ignoring him from morning, he wouldn’t complain about Sunghoon, he knew the other busy or not, could care less about him.

Yeah, best friends were sometimes like that.

And what were they then?

Jungwon didn’t quite understand.

He’d like to call himself and Jay as friends. But the thing was, no friends would openly declare their feelings for you for every chance they got. And Jungwon knew that Jay would strongly disagree with the label he got them.

Lovers?

Not really, Jungwon may be or may not be start to properly honest with how he felt toward Jay, but they didn’t have ‘the talk’ yet, people would call it a confession. But what left to confess if Jay was just too honest with himself?

It took two for whatever it was for them to work.

Maybe it was time for Jay not to fight alone.

Jungwon reached out to stroke Jay’s hair. The older one didn’t realize at first, still too focused on his phone.

Jungwon smiled softly, he didn’t know that Jay’s hair would be this soft. He continued to caress Jay’s hair.

Suddenly the other one turned his head. “What is it?”

“Hm?” Jungwon simply asked.

“What does it mean?” Jay pointed at Jungwon’s hand on his head.

The face Jay made was cute. “I don’t know.”

Jay fully turned around to face him. “You can’t just brush my hair without reason, Jungwon.”

The younger raised his eyebrows. “You don’t like it?”

“I love it so much, but still.”

Sometimes Jay’s straightforwardness was too much.

“You remind me of something.” Jungwon said.

Jay seemed to be interested, he scooted over and folded his arms on the bed. “What is it?”

Jungwon had a playful smile on him. “An angry bird.”

The younger laughed when he saw the offended look on Jay’s face.

Jay stood up, his phone was long forgotten on the floor.

Jungwon was surprised when he suddenly got attacked by tickles from Jay. “Stop it!” He didn’t know that he was this ticklish.

“That’s what you got for calling me an angry bird!” 

They were sitting on Jay’s bed right now, both laughing their heart out.

Jungwon took one of many pillows on the older’s bed and threw it to the owner’s face.

Soon it was a mess.

The place would be a pain to clean afterward but they just didn’t care.

Jungwon didn’t care.

Maybe having a crush wasn’t so bad.

* * *

Heeseung looked out the car’s window. 

The trees they passed looked like a blurry shadow. The car wasn’t speeding but still he couldn’t see clearly.

It was like a dream.

He wanted to say that he wished it was a fever dream. But the thought of having to face it again one day as a reality scared him

Heeseung wouldn’t say he was someone who tended to be overdramatic.

But he was wondering if other people felt the same feeling as him when they faced the same situation.

He felt pathetic.

He brought it upon himself after all. He could just call Sunghoon and tell him on the phone, but still he chose to come by himself and make a few shows.

Maybe he was just yearning for something to soothe his hurt.

A closure.

But Heeseung didn’t think he got one by being so vague with Sunghoon.

He let out a deep breath, one of many that he already did.

Sunoo just looked at him.

The car ride was too quiet for his liking actually, but what could he do? His brother was close to dying.

Even his driver couldn’t help but steal a glance once in a while, it was not everyday that both best friends were so calm beside each other.

“Sunoo-ya.”

“Yes Hyung?”

“What’s on your mind?”

Seriously? Heeseung was sad and still he had to ask Sunoo about himself, he found out that being selfless wasn’t really a good thing.

“I don’t know Hyung, what’s on your mind?” He emphasized on the word ‘your’. “Do you want to talk about it?”

To Sunoo’s surprise, his brother just laughed. “What left me to tell you Sunoo? You already knew everything.”

“Well that’s right, but still, don’t you want to let it go off your chest?”

The hole on Heeseung's chest was opened too wide, he wasn’t sure if anything was left there.

Heeseung looked at his brother. “I need a distraction Sunoo. I don’t think I can stay sane if I keep thinking about today.”

Sunoo sighed. “You need to rest Hyung, you’re emotionally drained, I don’t want to add negative things on your shoulder.”

“Negative thing?”

Shit Sunoo didn’t mean to blurt that out.

“Ughh today I’m supposed to comfort you, you know that don’t you?”

“What’s wrong Sunoo? You just make me worried.”

“I’m okay! Really, it’s not really a big deal.”

Sunoo looked at Heeseung who seemed not that satisfied with his answer, he almost felt guilty not to let Heeseung hear his problem. Sunoo was sure Heeseung didn’t belong here, no human would be as pure as him, he should be up there, amongst his kind, the angels.

“Don’t look at me like that Hyung.”

Sunoo scooted closer to the older one, warping his arm around the other’s shoulders. “Let me hug you instead okay? I think you need that.”

Heeseung couldn’t force the younger to spill his worry, he gave up too soon actually, but maybe Sunoo was right, Heeseung needed a rest. He hugged the boy back. “Seems like you need one as well.”

Sunoo buried his face into Heeseung’s neck, it was funny, he wanted to make Heeseung better but hell, why did he feel like he was the one being comforted?

Maybe that was what people called an older brother.

Sunoo thought maybe it was time for him to fix his problem on his own, it was about time he let go of Heeseung. He couldn’t burden the other for any longer. 

Sunoo could do this, he could fix things.

He just needed to talk to Niki.

* * *

Park Sunghoon was anxious.

He was happy as well. Hell, his long time crush just turned into his boyfriend today.

He could only dreamed such a thing months ago, but now, he finally could put that heart emoji he had been wanting to place on Jake’s contact name already.

They spent the rest of the day officially as boyfriends together.

Honestly he could even recall what they do the whole day. Everything happened too fast, way too fast.

And before they realize the sun set already.

They parted ways after Sunghoon took Jake to his room, it was nothing new, he did that every time. But it was like taking your boyfriend to their house for the first time, and Sunghoon was really excited for that. 

And here he was right now, walking around in his room alone.

It could be said that today wouldn’t happen without Heeseung.

He was so damn grateful.

But then he remembered it.

The tears.

Sunghoon was so sure that he saw tears fall from Heeseung’s eyes the moment he turned away from him today on the ice rink.

That left Sunghoon with so many questions.

Sunghoon wasn’t that oblivious. But he didn’t dare to assume things on his own if it came to Heeseung.

Guilt started to build up on him. He wasn’t blind to Heeseung's affection for him, but regretfully he chose to be one.

_‘He do that to everyone’_

_‘It’s nothing, friends could be like that with each other.’_

_‘He is my brother.’_

He got enough confession from people for him to learn to differentiate each stare they gave him.

_Admiration._

_Respect._

_Love._

People tended to show their emotion bare on their eyes. It was nothing for Sunghoon to tell the meaning of one’s look.

Some people were so hard to read sometimes, just like Jake. Sunghoon had a really hard time guessing what the meaning of Jake’s stare was. That was the reason that made Sunghoon contemplate a lot. He realized that he didn’t really know the other despite the close distance they share between them.

He got so much time to learn about Jake, for them to learn about each other. Sunghoon prayed for a lifetime if that wasn’t too much.

And oddly some people were so easy to read.

Just like Heeseung.

_Yearning._

He could make a mistake, but still that was the only name he could give to Heeseung’s look toward him. It was strange, because they were best friends.

Hell, Jake was his best friend.

Sunghoon opened his room’s door and went outside. He walked into the hallways.

It was like he was on an autopilot, his legs just took him to this place.

Sunghoon stared at the door in front of him. He presumed the other was behind the door, doing his assignments or anything the council gave him to do.

He was about to knock, but he stopped.

What if he was wrong? The worst thing was Heeseung laughing and kicking his ass.

The chance of him being wrong was big. Knowing Heeseung with his kind heart and selflessness. The other could accidentally send a mixed signal to whoever that was.

Actually that happened a lot.

He almost could hear Heeseung’s classic line ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, hope you can understand that it’s a misunderstanding.’.

That could be the case.

But if he was right? That meant he fucked up.

Like, really, really, fucked up.

Sunghoon wanted to pull his hair out of his own head, maybe that could help.

He didn’t know how many times he already made Heeseung listen to him babbling about his feelings for Jake.

He couldn’t even count how many nights he spent here, behind the door, doing nothing but being together with Heeseung.

He only could imagine how hurt it must be for Heeseung if he was right, that the older one indeed had a feeling for him.

Maybe Jake knew.

That could be the reason for many of his withdrawal these last weeks before.

Sunghoon didn’t want to stay in the dark room. He needed answer.

He raised his hand once again to knock, but the door opened even before he got a chance.

“Huh?”

Heeseung looked as confused as Sunghoon felt right now.

“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?”

“Ugh-” He couldn’t really form a proper sentence.

“Let’s go inside first, you look not really well.” The older one opened the door wide.

Sunghoon was about to step inside when he realized some things on Heeseung’s bed.

A box and a suitcase.

Books and clothes scattered on the floor.

“Hyung?” Heeseung looked at him.

“Hm?”

“Are you going somewhere?”

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, actually I’m not that confident with this chapter, I’m not feeling that well lately and it took me longer to finish this one chapter haha. Well, hope I’m not disappointing you with this one.
> 
> Thank you so much for the feedback on this story!! I’m so grateful for each love that this story gets!
> 
> You can always find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe!!
> 
> Please stay safe and don’t forget that you’re loved! See you in the next chapter!!
> 
> ps. I’m trying to update once a week hehe, thanks for the suggestion!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pain didn’t always come like a big wave in the ocean. It was more like water slowly dripped over a rock, over and over. The pain scraped his heart over time, like an erosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're not bored of this story yet!

Sunoo thought that maybe he started to love taking a walk at night. He preffered to cuddle with his best friends watching movies together instead of doing anything that required extra effort. 

He didn’t know that it would be kinda calming to feel the cold right piercing into his skin despite the double layer he had. 

He stared at the sleeve of the jacket he wore, the color was dark, he was wondering if the owner only had black on his closet.

Sunoo turned his gaze toward Niki who walked quietly beside him.

They hadn’t exchanged any word after leaving Niki’s room.

Sunoo was just done taking Heeseung to his room, his brother said Sunoo should quickly go back to his own room, insisting how tired the younger must be after comforting him all day long. But Sunoo knew that Heeseung only wanted to be alone, and he thought maybe the older one really needed that.

But instead of going to his own floor, Sunoo pressed Niki’s floor number on the lift.

He hated being like this with Niki.

He wanted to talk to him, and Sunoo thought that maybe God helped him when he found out Niki was alone in his room, without his roommate. Jungwon was out having dinner with Jay.

Sunoo was grateful that somehow Jay could make things right again with Jungwon. Looking at his best friend being sad and frustrated wasn’t Sunoo's favorite.

Maybe the night air could help the both of them clear their mind, and having proper talk for once.

Sunoo stopped his track. 

The park was only a short walk from his dorm building, but strangely the atmosphere was unrecognisable. 

Sunoo felt like they were being eaten by the night.

Dark into an abyss that would make one wanting nothing but running.

But, once again, strangely Sunoo couldn’t be more at ease.

Maybe it was Niki.

Sunoo always loved having Niki by his side.

The younger made him feel reassured even though there’s barely something to be worried about.

It was almost like Sunoo wouldn’t feel any fear of falling.

He knew Niki would be just there to catch him.

And lately, Sunoo missed those feelings.

“Niki.”

“Yes Hyung?”

Niki wasn’t prepared when the older one called him out of sudden. Sunoo was never this quite before, and it was terrifying for him.

He couldn’t read Sunoo’s mind after all.

Thousands of questions lingered since the moment he found Sunoo behind his door. The moment Sunoo looked at him with something he couldn’t name.

Niki was aware, he himself was acting really strange.

He had made a promise not to care about anyone else back then. But the opened tab on his browser told otherwise. 

It was the same page, still the same message full of hate.

He told himself not to pay them any mind.

But hell, it wasn’t about someone else.

It’s Sunoo.

Kim Sunoo wasn’t someone else.

Trutfully, Niki didn’t know who the boy in front of him was.

Kim Sunoo was like a book.

You can read him just like a summary of a novel.

But that was all.

Kim Sunoo was a closed book. The one you couldn’t read without getting a paper cut.

That was what Niki learned.

With every second passed between them Niki could hear his own heart beating like madness.

The chaos of anxiety and anticipation wrecked him.

And suddenly it stopped.

It was like slow motion in a movie.

Sunoo looked at him. 

Niki was almost terrified.

He didn’t even understand what was that. They were only on a walk, bathing in the silence of the night, they even held hands.

“Niki.” The older one called him once again.

What could happen to them here?

“We can’t stay like this.” Sunoo let go of his hand.

Niki was terrified.

* * *

“Are you going somewhere?”

Heeseung raised his eyebrows at Sunghoon’s question.

And it hit him.

Heeseung turned to see the mess he just made in his room.

He cursed himself for letting the younger in without much thought.

Guess this was his habit.

Heeseung was familiar with making excuses.

_ ‘It’s nothing.’ _

_ ‘I was busy.’ _

_ ‘I’m sorry I can’t make it.’ _

But tonight, he was tired.

His gaze fell on Sunghoon once again.

The younger once said that Heeseung looked the best when he smiled. 

_ “Why are you making that face?” _

_ “Why? I’m trying to look intimidating right now.” _

_ “That doesn't suit you.” _

_ “What- why?!” _

_ “Look Jay is tripping.” _

_ “Where? That’s hilarious haha.” _

_ “That one suits you.” _

_ “???” _

_ “Smiling suits you the best Hyung.” _

That was why he was smiling right now.

He wanted to look the best in front of Sunghoon.

“Come here.” Heeseung told the younger one. “Help me put them into the box.”

Despite his question left unanswered, Sunghoon followed the older one. Helping him put his books into the box on his bed.

They were quiet for some time.

Honestly none of them were familiar with this kind of silence. Conversation always came easily between them.

They could be talking about nonsense, and it would turn into hours.

They were too used to each other.

Sunghoon was suffocated.

He could see that Heeseung indeed cried. His eyes were puffy and there was still remaining redness.

Heeseung walked into the other side of the room, picked something from the floor and put them into the suitcase.

And Sunghoon felt Heeseung was so far away. 

They were only separated by his bed, what the hell.

Sunghoon could see that the older one tried to squeeze all of his clothes into the suitcase. And suddenly he stopped trying.

Heeseung looked at him.

“How was it?”

“Excuse me?” Sunghoon was too immersed in his own thought that he couldn’t really catch that.

“How was the confession?”

Maybe Sunghoon looked as clueless as before. Heeseung chuckled and repeated his question. “Does the confession succeed? Does Jake accept it?”

oh-

Sunghoon nodded, feeling shy out of sudden, he couldn’t really look at the older one. “Yeah.”

Sadly, Sunghoon couldn’t see Heeseung smiling. “That’s good. I’m so happy for both of you.”

Maybe it was because Sunghoon only heard Heeseung’s voice without really looking at his face.

But it sounded so sad.

Sunghoon lifted his head to look at the other. But Heeseung wasn’t looking at him anymore, he was busy folding some garments.

Heeseung said he was happy for both of them.

But his Hyung was far from being his excited self unlike the other time. 

Sunghoon didn’t want his question to be left unanswered once again.

“Heeseung Hyung.”

“Yeah?” He didn’t even look up at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon took a deep breath before saying. “Do you have feelings for me?”

The older one stood still for a second before looking at him, finally.

Heeseung smiled at the younger one. “Yeah.”

Though Sunghoon asked the question, he didn’t quite expect that as an answer.

* * *

Sunoo could see that the other one had been nothing but anxious since before, and he didn’t understand what made the younger one behave so carefully around him like this.

What did Niki say before? He didn’t want to hurt Sunoo?

What kind of nonsense was that?!

Sunoo had enough.

“Niki, we can’t stay like this.” He stood in front of the younger, facing him.

Maybe that wasn’t a really good start just like Sunoo had intended it to be, looking at the younger who looked like he was in the state of disbelief.

What’s on Niki’s mind that makes him look so terrified like this?

Sunoo supposed he could get the answer from the younger only.

“Listen-” Sunoo tried to make Niki look at him, but the younger kept his gaze low, looking at the ground between them.

Did Sunoo just kick a puppy?

Sunoo brough both of his hands and cupped Niki’s face, making the younger one facing him for real. “Listen to me.”

“I don’t know what’s going on inside your head, but please stop it.” Sunoo continued.

Niki just stared at him without saying anything.

But Sunoo found the younger’s hand around his wrist, keeping them in place, close to Niki. As if begging Sunoo not to leave.

Sunoo took a deep breath. “I won’t understand if you don’t tell me your problem Niki, and I know you have one for a while.”

“Would you like to talk to me Niki? I’m sorry if I look like I’m forcing you to be open, but please, I just can’t-” Sunoo couldn’t even finish his sentence, there were too many things he wanted to say. But guilt was too fast approaching him. “I’m sorry.”

Sunoo was about to pull his hands from Niki, but the hand on his wrist prevented him from doing so.

“No Hyung, it’s okay.” The younger’s grip was firm but it was far from hurting.

“I know I’ve been acting strange these days, I don’t mean to avoid you. It’s just-” Niki continued. “People get me thinking.”

Sunoo was confused by Niki. “Why? What did they do?”

“It’s nothing, really-” Niki looked at the person in front of him who was ready not to buy any excuse from him. “I’m just overreacting, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“Niki, I don’t want you to be troubled with unnecessary things.” Sunoo raised his hand that wasn’t being grabbed by the younger, stroked Niki’s hair with it. “Let me help you.”

Niki wanted nothing but to melt into Sunoo’s warm hands. 

“I’m nothing but bad luck for you Hyung.” Niki took a deep breath. “You fainted the day we first met, and-” The younger couldn’t really speak up his mind. “You got hurt because of me as well.”

“Who told you that?”

“No, it’s-”

“Niki.”

The younger chose to stay silent.

Niki expected that Sunoo would be really annoyed right now and left him alone in the middle of the park.

But none of that happened.

Sunoo kept his hand on Niki’s hair, leaving comforting touches here and there. “You know that’s not true. Yes maybe I faint but that’s not on you. I had a really long day at that time.”

The older one laughed softly. “And I know you’re still thinking about my swollen ankle.” Sunoo felt silly out of sudden, as if the whole jealousy thing was already far away and nothing to get upset anymore.

“Look, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry anymore.” Sunoo looked at the boy in front of him. “You’re not a bad luck Niki.”

“In fact, I feel really lucky to meet you. You helped me a lot, and I never had so much fun before I met you.” Sunoo had a playful smile on his face. “Trust me, my best friends may look like a bunch of fun people, but yeah, they are too loud sometimes.”

“I hope you’re not going to avoid me again Niki.” Sunoo smiled. “I really miss having you around, don’t you know that?”

Niki missed him as well. Hell, he missed Sunoo like hell.

The older one didn’t know that this whole time, Niki tried to be content watching the sunshine from far away.

Niki learned that Sunoo shined just as bright no matter how far the distance.

But he missed the warmth.

The younger always found himself getting braver and braver around the other one.

Sunoo got startled when Niki pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry. I miss you too.”

For a second Sunoo didn’t know how to respond to that. He was too afraid that Niki noticed how fast his heart was beating right now.

“I just really hate it that you got hurt.” The younger’s voice was muffled. Niki buried his face deep into Sunoo’s shoulder.

Sunoo patted Niki’s back, trying to reassure him that everything was fine. “Don’t disappear on me again.” He landed a playful hit on the younger’s back. “Let’s talk to each other when we have a problem instead.”

“Okay.”

“Are we good now?”

“Yeah.”

Sunoo laughed softly at the younger cuteness. Niki seemed like he wouldn’t let go anytime soon. “You big kitten.”

Niki didn’t mind being called a kitten, if that meant he could stay like this longer, he wouldn’t think twice before asking God to turn him into Sunoo’s cat.

Talking.

What a simple way to solve things.

  
  


* * *

Heeseung didn’t know that Sunghoon would come and talk to him today.

Asking about his feelings especially.

Heeseung wasn’t really a fan of sport, and he was tired of running away. Maybe today was the day he got to say his final goodbye.

“Yeah.” He looked at the younger. “I do.”

Sunghoon looked thrown back at that. As if he didn’t expect such an answer from his brother.

Brother. Maybe this time the term couldn’t be used.

Heeseung wanted to face Sunghoon as himself, the one that loved the younger and hurted so bad.

“How do you figure it out?” Heeseung supposed that the younger wouldn’t hear the news from Jake or Sunoo.

Sunghoon couldn’t look at Heeseung. “I saw you crying back in the ice rink.”

Heeseung bit his own lip. He thought he was good at hiding it, well, maybe he needed to learn.

“And that leads you to the conclusion?”

“I-” Sunghoon tried to form his sentence. “I have had the feeling about it for awhile already. But I don’t want to assume things.” The younger one finally looked at him. “Because you’re just too kind and naturally affectionate toward us.”

“I thought it was the same case to me.” Sunghoon continued.

Heeseung never had the intention to make his feelings clear to Sunghoon. But once again, maybe he really needed that acting class Sunoo once attended years back.

“Am I making you uncomfortable Sunghoon?”

The younger one looked visibly shocked at Heeseung's question. “What do you mean Hyung? Of course not!”

Heeseung laughed softly. “What makes you ask me out of sudden?”

“I want to apologize to you.”

“For not feeling the same way as I do? You know that’s not your fault-”

“For hurting you.”

Heeseung was stunned at his place. 

Loving Sunghoon was a series of getting hurt. He knew the consequences and yet he couldn’t really stop himself.

The smile.

Soft touch.

Stolen gaze.

Heeseung never dared to ask for all of that. He knew they were reserved for someone else.

And yet it still wound.

He once wished he was born a rock. Didn’t have feelings and just did nothing but stay still.

But he soon realized that himself wasn’t that different from one.

The pain didn’t always come like a big wave in the ocean. It was more like water slowly dripped over a rock, over and over.

The pain scraped his heart over time, like an erosion.

He almost got used to it. Almost.

But knowing Sunghoon who realized he hurted the older one, even though Heeseung knew damn well the younger never intended to do so, was a different kind of pain.

Realizing Sunghoon felt guilty for something that wasn’t on him.

“You never meant to, so it’s okay.”

“But-” Sunghoon said. “If I knew before-”

“Would we stay being like this if you found out sooner Sunghoon?”

Being friends.

Being brothers. Damn it. Seemed like Heeseung couldn’t really erase the fact.

“Would things be different between us Sunghoon?” Heeseung knew that question was kinda cruel. But damn it, he just wanted to end it already.

The younger one couldn't say anything.

For a second he wondered as well.

What if-

No. There was no ‘what if’.

Sunghoon knew from the start that he couldn’t see Heeseung in a different light. He just didn’t want to be so harsh.

He got surprised when he heard Heeseung let out a laughter. 

“You look so funny, no need to think so hard Sunghoon. Both of us knew the answer already.”

“I’m sorry Hyung.”

“It’s okay, I’m just being dumb here. Hope you don’t think about it so much anymore.” Heeseung folded his clothes and put it inside his suitcase. “I’m going to move on from you for real now.”

Heeseung’s breath caught on his throat when he realized that Sunghoon crossed over the room, now stood just before him.

“I don’t know Hyung, I just can’t stop being sorry to you.”

“What’s the reason?”

“I just- I feel like you deserve something.” Sunghoon looked at the person before him. “Something like a closure maybe?”

Closure.

But they never started anything.

It’s sadly funny, ending things even before starting it.

“Heeseung Hyung.” Heeseung wished nothing but Sunghoon’s happiness, but why did the younger look so broken?

“I’m so sorry for hurting you all this time. I’m so grateful that you stay by my side-” Sunghoon continued.”-our side. You keep giving us endless support, and I took them blindly not knowing how hurt it must be.”

“You make me sound so miserable.”

Heeseung didn’t mean to make Sunghoon give a pained smile. “I’m serious Sunghoon, it’s okay, that’s what friends do after all.”

Sunghoon looked like he wasn’t expecting that one as well.

“After all of this, you still call me your friend Hyung?”

“Of course, you don’t want to stay friends with me?”

“I do!” Sunghoon tried to explain. “It’s just I’ve been hurting you-”

Heeseung rolled his eyes. “Stop it already Sunghoon.”

“Forgive-” Sunghoon stopped when he looked at Heeseung who gave him a piercing gaze. 

He wanted to laugh, his Hyung never failed to bring a smile to his face every time.

“Hyung.”

Sunghoon gathered all his courage. “Would- would you like to be my brother again Hyung?”

Closure.

Maybe this was the kind of closure the fate had reserved for him long before.

“Of course.” Heeseung wanted to curse his cracking voice.

“Just give me some time.” Heeseung glanced at the things on his bed. “I’ll come back to you before you realize.”

“Where are you going Hyung?”

“Home.”

It wasn’t like Heeseung could just book a flight overseas, running far away from him. He had things on his hand and it wouldn’t be really responsible if he just left them unfinished.

Though, Heeseung really just wanted to fly away already.

Maybe somewhere in Antarctica. Who knows maybe the cold could numb his feelings?

But for a second he forgot to whom he had fallen in love with.

Heeseung lost his winter already.

What about somewhere warm then? He supposed he would need something to melt his feelings.

“You know that I already planned to stay at home for a long time. Sorry to break it, but you aren’t really my reason for leaving this time haha.” Heeseung tried to break the ice.

Maybe it’s a good sign that he started not to enjoy the cold that much anymore.

“My mother thinks it’s better for me to stay at home for the time being. She’s worried that I’m not taking care of myself well enough here at the dorm.” He continued. It was half the truth, but it wouldn’t hurt if no one told Sunghoon.

“For how long?”

“I don’t know, maybe a month or two? It’s a bit inconvenient for me to go back and forth after all. Just enough time for my mom to make sure I’m really okay.”

‘Just enough for me not wanting to break everytime I see you with him.’

“We’ll miss you a lot.”

Heeseung laughed. “Chill Sunghoon! It’s not like you won’t see me at school haha.”

“But you’re so busy, and we barely see each other even in the dorms.”

Heeseung didn’t know what possessed him, but he pulled Sunghoon into a big hug. “Aw someone is missing his Hyung haha.”

He felt the younger hands wrapped around him as well. Heeseung held his breath.

“Please take care Hyung.”

Heeseung lost. His tears fell from his eyes. He hugged the younger one even closer if that was possible. He just nodded, couldn’t really believe his own voice this time.

He tried to cry as quietly as possible, but he knew that Sunghoon must have noticed his tears as well. The other only stayed there, holding him close as well, saying nothing.

It shouldn’t be this sad.

Where’s the light confession over coffee he had once imagined?

Well things tended not going as he wanted lately after all.

Heeseung took a deep breath and pulled away from Sunghoon. “Now you gotta help me to pack things up, someone is waiting for me outside.”

“Wait- what? You’re going right now?? Tomorrow is Monday!”

“And?”

“School! You have to go to school tomorrow.” Sunghoon looked at the clock on the wall. “And it’s almost midnight!”

“I’ll call in sick.”

Sunghoon was dumbfounded. “I didn’t know that the school’s president can pull something like this.”

Heeseung laughed. “Come on! It’s not like I’m lying.”

Sunghoon’s eyes got way bigger. “You’re sick Hyung?” He reached to feel the older’s temperature.

“I don’t have a fever you dumbass.” Heeseung playfully made a pained face. “I got hurt here, right in my heart. I just got my heart broken ugh.”

Maybe the only one who found his jokes funny was only him. “Come on! Don’t make that face, I’m trying my best here Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon silently picked up the clothes on the floor and threw it to his brother. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m going to tell the teacher that you’re lying.”

Heeseung smiled. “I’m not! Look ugh it hurts!” Heeseung flopped himself into the bed.

Sunghoon laughed softly at Heeseung antics. “Stop it, you said you’re in a hurry.”

“Oh shit- Help me to fold these!”

Heeseung loved to read the ending of the novels he read. He couldn't wait to see how the writer finished their writings.

It was always interesting.

And that’s kinda subjective.

He once bickered with Jake and Sunoo because Heeseung thought the ending of the novel they were reading was beautiful. But the others insisted that it was a tragedy and the second lead deserved better.

Heeseung didn’t know what kind of ending he had with Sunghoon right now.

He thought the ending was okay, not that beautiful if he dared to say. But being like this, like nothing happened, laughing at each other, was better than any cliche ones he read before.

But at the end it was always subjective after all.

* * *

“Jay what color should we wear?”

“Black is traditional I think, but what about navy Sunoo?”

“I think blue would be good if it’s a beach wedding.”

“Oh right! Jake where do you plan to hold the wedding?”

“SHUT UP.”

Jake was red all over his face. He should have known that their friends would react this way over the news.

Yeah, Jake just told them about him and Sunghoon this morning. Days after the confession.

The reason was, they wanted to be prepared for the teasing. Well Jake found out that no matter how long he prepared himself, their friends would find the most annoying way to express their excitement.

He couldn’t believe that he needed to listen to their teasing alone at practice. Sunghoon was nowhere to be seen after he disappeared to finish his project with his group in the library, skipping practice for today.

They were waiting for other club members to come.

He was flustered when he saw Sunoo and Jay just laughed at him, not taking him seriously. Damn it, they were annoying.

“I can’t believe it, finally!” Sunoo exclaimed. “I’m so happy, I know I told you already, but-”

“If you’re happy for me, stop teasing me!”

“No way.”

Jake rolled his eyes at Sunoo childishness. He turned to Jay who looked like he was about to spout some nonsense.

Jake grabbed a popsicle they just bought and shoved it into Jay’s mouth. “Don’t say anything, just eat your ice cream.”

Jay was surprised at first. “Like that would stop me!” He said while chewing.

“But seriously tho, tell me more about the confession!”

“You’re too nosy Jay.” Sunoo told his best friend. “But well I’m curious as well, Jake tell us!” They were best friends after all.

“Ask Sunghoon!”

“Aw you see that Sunoo, ‘ask my boyfriend’ he said.”

Sunoo and Jay broke into a laughter fit once again.

Jake was thankful when the practice room’s door opened by someone.

“Niki!” Sunoo immediately got up and ran to the younger.

Jake was really grateful that finally his best friends got their distractions.

“Huh? You’re here Jungwon?” Sunoo said when he saw Jungwon standing behind Daniel.

Jungwon greeted him. “Yeah, I don’t have anything to do.” He searched the room and found Jay who was waving excitedly to him. “Can I watch today’s practice Hyung?” He asked the dance club leader.

“Of course. You have full access here!” Jay turned to whisper to Jake. “Boyfriend’s privilege.”

“Why don’t you say it out loud?”

“Ssst Jake, Jungwon would kill me if I say that.”

“Say what?”

Jay got startled when Jungwon appeared beside him out of sudden.

“Hahaha nothing!” Jay quickly grabbed another popsicle and gave it to Jake, preventing him from saying anything to Jungwon.

Jake wanted to prove that he was better than his best friend, that was why he didn’t say anything. He could keep the teasing for later.

Sunoo dragged Niki to join the other. He didn’t forget to pull Daniel’s hand as well. “We bought ice creams! Daniel I know you love ice cream.”

Daniel excitedly sat beside Jungwon. “Wow that’s a lot!”

Sunoo smiled fondly at the younger. He then turned to Niki. “Did Taki already leave for his monthly check up?”

“Yeah.” The younger answered. “His parents picked him up, and- oh Hyung Taki said his mother baked some cookies. He will bring some for you.”

“Really?” Sunoo let out a happy noise. “Let’s eat them together later!”

Niki smiled and nodded.

Ding

Someone was getting a message. Jake opened his phone to find a new message from his boyfriend.

Calling Sunghoon as his boyfriend gave him a warm feeling inside. Damn he was so happy, he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Bet it’s from Sunghoon.” Sunoo said once he sat before him, Niki right beside the other.

Jake ignored Sunoo’s comment.

“He’s still not done?” Jay asked.

Jake shook his head. “Looks like he would pull all nighter haha.”

“That’s why you should do your project way ahead from the deadline, Niki, Jungwon and Daniel, you guys need to learn from your seniors.” Jay said.

“Maybe I should go and help him.” Sunoo said out of sudden. “I have nothing to do anyway.”

Niki almost opened his mouth to ask Sunoo to stay here, but he supposed he didn’t lose his common sense yet. He stared at the older one instead. Wishing Sunoo to understand that he wanted the other not going away.

Niki felt himself being so clingy to Sunoo lately. And he didn’t hate himself for that.

“Niki, I know you want Sunoo to stay but please, Sunghoon is dying in the library.” Niki turned to Jay who just said something at him. He got flustered that somehow his senior could hear his thoughts.

Sunoo turned to him this time. “You want me to stay?”

“Yeah.” Damn it, Niki didn’t mean to say that out loud. “I mean, you can go if you want.”

Niki could hear a series of laughter around him, he didn’t even need to look to know who was laughing.

Jake tried to hold his laugh, but Niki was too cute, he couldn’t help it.

“Stop it guys.” Sunoo told his friends.

“I’m gonna watch you practice another time okay? Jay is right, Sunghoon must be dying right now.” Sunoo said before getting up to gather his things.

“Practice hard Niki, you can do it!” Sunoo patted Niki’s head before finally leaving.

Niki stared at the door after Sunoo left.

“Wait-” Jake said out of sudden. 

Jake got up immediately, snatching the bag of ice cream from Daniel and took some of them before running outside.

“Sunoo! Give this to Sunghoon!”

They could hear Jake’s voice.

“Wow look at that.” Jay said. “I can’t believe I’m surrounded by couples.”

Jay’s gaze fell to Jungwon who was busy choosing ice cream with Daniel.

“Jungwon-ah.” He called the younger.

“Hm?” Jungwon was too focused on his ice cream, he settled for vanilla. He couldn’t tear open the ice cream.

Jay took it from him and teared it for Jungwon. “Why don’t we become a couple as well Jungwon?” He handed the ice cream to the younger.

Jungwon got used to Jay’s flirting.

“Did you just ask me to be your boyfriend using an ice cream?” Jungwon said. “I’m expensive, bring me a ring and I’ll think about it.” He took the ice cream from Jay.

It was the first time Jungwon responded to his flirting without a scoff or disgusted look! Jay was overjoyed right now.

“Bet.” Jay got up and ran outside.

“Jake! Didn’t you say your mom has a jewelry store??” Jungwon could hear Jay’s voice.

He laughed.

He turned to Daniel, and he regretted it immediately after seeing the stupid smile on his best friend’s face.

“You start to like him.”

“Shut up.”

“Do you hear that Niki? He didn’t say ‘no’!”

Niki just laughed softly before getting up to stretch. “Stop teasing each other. Daniel, help me to set up the room.”

The other just laughed once again before joining his friend to prepare for the practice today.

They left Jungwon on the side.

Jungwon and his thoughts alone.

Did he start to like Jay?

Daniel’s question got into him for real.

Well no one could hear his answer anyway.

He smiled at the ice cream on his hand. He used to hate vanilla ice cream, it was too sweet and creamy.

But maybe he was really capable of learning to love things he used to hate after all.

Things and people weren’t really different, were they?

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Thank you so much for reading today’s update! I hope you can tell me about your thoughts on this chapter, it helps me a lot, I just want to know if I’m disappointing you with this one or not haha.
> 
> I’m so grateful for the love that this story gets!
> 
> You can always find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe!
> 
> Hope you have a wonderful week ahead! See you in the next chapter!!
> 
> ps. don’t forget to stay safe and I just want to say that you’re loved! 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunoo wanted to believe that he knew no worry or anxiety. All he wanted to recognize was happiness and the warmth of Niki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi!!

Sunoo and Sunghoon walked out of the library.

It was already 8 PM when Sunghoon’s project was done. Sunoo was a really great help. He was so grateful for his best friend.

“I wouldn’t be able to finish that project if it weren't for you Sunoo. My groups are sucks.”

“I know, you can’t live without me anyway.” Sunoo said. 

Sunghoon laughed at him. “You’re damn right.” Sunghoon put his arm around Sunoo’s neck. “You better stay with me for the rest of my life.” He messed with the other’s hair.

Sunoo tried to get away from Sunghoon. “Don’t touch my hair!” The other just laughed at him before letting him go.

“You’re so annoying, no one would want to spend the rest of their life with you.” Sunoo said, but suddenly he got a suspicious smile on his face. “Well no one except this one person named Shim Jake.”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “You teased me all day, don’t you get tired?”

“Why?! You tease me all the time!”

Sunghoon fold his arms. “But seriously Sunoo, you guys need to stop teasing us already.” He sounded so serious about it. “You know how shy Jake is sometimes, what if he wants to break up with me because he can’t take the teasing???”

This time Sunoo was the one who rolled his eyes. “You know that Jake likes you too much, he won't do that.”

“But-”

“Sunghoon listen to me.” Sunoo placed both of his arms on the other’s shoulders. “Jake likes you more than you think.”

“I can’t believe both of you are afraid of the same thing.” He continued.

“You know that I can’t help that. But it is slowly getting better after he accepts my confession tho.”

Smile grew on Sunoo’s face. He was happy that finally the both of them managed to be honest with their feelings, it was exhausting looking at two people being confused when the answer laid before them.

He wanted to say that Jay and himself did God’s’s work, by teasing them, well at least it was an attempt to make them realize their feelings after all.

“That’s Heeseung Hyung.” Sunghoon said out of sudden. Sunoo’s gaze followed Sunghoon’s.

Heeseung was walking on the other side of school with his friends. Sunoo wanted to applaud Sunghoon for recognizing Heeseung, the distance was too far for Sunoo to see his face, but then again no one would walk around school in this hour bringing files on their hands if it was not the student council and their president.

“He looked tired.” Sunghoon murmured.

It had been days since the night in Heeseung's room, and it was the first time Sunghoon saw the other again.

He was wondering if his friends noticed how Heeseung suddenly disappeared like fog in the morning or not. Or maybe it was only him.

He was the one that received Heeseung’s goodbye after all.

Sunghoon missed Heeseung already.

He knew it would be really egoistic of him to ask the other to stay by his side after doing nothing but hurting him all this time. But he couldn't help but feel emptiness when looking at the door of Heeseung’s room every time he passed by.

And it was everyday, all the time.

Sunghoon turned to look at Sunoo who was staring at Heeseung’s disappearing shadow.

“You know, you should treat him better next time.” Sunoo suddenly said.

Sunghoon was about to open his mouth to ask whether his friend knew all along, but he remembered that beneath that beautiful smile laid thousands of truths Sunghoon couldn’t guess.

Sunoo was always like that. 

“Let him heal properly this time.” Sunoo looked at Sunghoon. “And be happy with Jake. I’m sure Heeseung Hyung would tell you to do the same.”

The truth was, Heeseung told him that countless times already.

“I’m sorry.”

Sunoo smiled at him funny. “Why would you say sorry?”

“For hurting your brother.”

“He’s your brother too, and you need to stop feeling sorry already. You know it’s nobody’s fault.”

Sunoo opened his arms wide and engulfed him in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you and Jake, and please be happy, no need to be sorry to anyone.” He let go after saying that.

Sunghoon was grateful that he had his best friends. “Thanks Sunoo.”

Sunoo smiled. “Now off you go, bet Jake is waiting for you in the dorm.”

Sunghoon was confused. “You’re not coming with me?”

The other let out a deep breath. “I left Niki for you before.” Sunoo threw a piercing look at his best friend. “The things I do for you.”

Sunghoon just laughed quietly. “But where are you going? The practice was done already.”

“Jay texted, Niki is staying behind practicing for more.”

Sunghoon seemed like he remembered something. “Come to think of it, Niki always stays behind after practice these days.”

“Why does he practice so much? You guys got a show or something?”

“Not really, but Jay has been hinting on performing in the school festival.” Sunghoon continued. “But Niki is a really great dancer, I don’t think he needs more practice.”

Sunoo was wondering why Niki stayed behind so much, maybe the younger loved dancing a lot. Guess he needed to see it himself. “I’m going to see him, just go.” He told Sunghoon.

“You want me to come with you?” Sunghoon offered. “You’re afraid of dark.”

Sunoo was contemplating at first, but looking at his best friend who looked like he needed sleep so badly right now making him shook his head. “Just go, I’m good.”

He just needed to reach the building as fast as he could. “See you tomorrow Sunghoon!” He said before walking away.

“Call me if something happens!” Sunghoon yelled at Sunoo who didn't even look back at him.

Sunghoon was about to go when he heard the library’s door being opened. He thought he was the only student left here at this hour.

“Sunghoon Sunbae?” It was Taki.

Sunghoon wasn’t expecting the younger. “Huh? Taki? I didn’t know you were here.”

The both of them met each other a few times already. It was the first time they met without Niki or Sunoo between them.

“I studied in the tutor room to catch up.” Taki smiled. “What about you Sunbae, why are you here?”

“Oh I just finished a project. You live in the dorm right? Why don’t we go together?”

“I’d like to Sunbae, but I still need to submit my assignment in the gym building.”

Sunghoon was dumbfounded. “Why would you submit it there?”

Taki just laughed. “My teacher stays mostly there, I put my assignment on his desk in the teacher’s room last time, and he didn’t check it almost a week later!”

Sunghoon smiled, he felt like he knew the teacher Taki just talked about. “Let me go with you then, it’s better to go there together.”

“It’s okay Sunbae, I can go alone.”

“I heard that it’s not good to go near the gym building alone at night, bad people hang out there a lot.” Sunghoon said.

Taki heard it as well, in fact he was quite familiar with the back of the gym building. The place was like Jaeha’s territory, and the other brought him there a few times before, beated him up on the ground.

“If it’s not a bother then… Thank you so much Sunbae.”

Sunghoon smiled. “It’s okay, let’s go, it’s getting late.”

* * *

Sunoo walked fast, thanks to Sunghoon he remembered how afraid he was with the dark. But he already made his mind, he wanted to see Niki as fast as he could.

He was surprised when he saw a figure walking toward him from the corner.

“What a coincidence, It’s been a while baby.”

Sunoo knew nothing about boxing, but he just wanted to punch the smile out of the person’s face that stood before him.

“Jaeha Sunbae.”

For God’s sake, the club building was right in front of him, and now he needed to face this bullshit.

“What are you doing here? Want me to take you back?” Jaeha walked closer. Sunoo instinctively took a step back.

“You really need to stop doing this Sunbae.”

Jaeha just laughed. “Stop doing what?”

Sunoo rolled his eyes. “Don’t you get tired bothering me?” He was surprised when the other grabbed his arm out of sudden.

“You used to be so sweet.” God, Sunoo hated that smile. “Why are you being like this now?”

“You know I was just being polite.” Sunoo said firmly. “Let me go.” To Sunoo’s surprise, the other pulled him instead, the hold became harsher on his cold skin.

“Is it because you find someone else?” Jaeha was too close. “I’m much better than that boy Niki.”

Sunoo couldn’t take it anymore, he yanked his arm out of Jaeha’s bruising hold. “Sunbae, you better leave Niki alone.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I may be quiet about you this whole time, but I swear I’m not going to shut up if you ever lay a finger on my friends ever again.”

Sunoo took a few steps from Jaeha, leaving the other.

Jaeha looked at Sunoo who stopped his steps to turn around and stared down at him. “You’re not the only one with the family name here Sunbae.” Sunoo walked away with that.

Jaeha did not miss when he saw Sunoo entering the club building. He immediately knew the reason the younger was here at this hour.

The voices around him were loud and clear, people talked about this first year student who was apparently a dance prodigy and would soon become the talk of the school because of his skill and handsome face, and not to forget about how close he was with popular students from 2nd year.

Nishimura Niki

Jaeha spat the name out of him.

* * *

Jaeha was sick of this.

Niki.

Niki.

Niki.

Come to think of it, the real culprit of his messed life right now was him. If Niki didn’t come that day into the classroom, none of these shits would happen.

Jaeha walked to where his lackeys were waiting for him as always just behind the school building.

“ARGH” Jaeha punched the wall.

His lackeys looked at him with fear in his eyes. Jaeha turned around to see them. “Where’s the new guy?”

The people in front of Jaeha looked at each other before pushing someone out of the crowd.

It was a first year who wished to be part of Jaeha’s gang a few days ago.

Nobody understood why one wanted to be part of Jaeha’s messed up group of friends, maybe it was the money and fame, or promised fear on everybody’s face.

“Yes Hyung-nim?”

“You said you will prove yourself.”

“Y-yeah.” The first year visibly trembled.

Mad Jaeha never had good news.

“Prove it then, if you can win against me. I’ll grant one of your wishes.”

The first year looked at him in disbelief. “I-”

“In a count of three, 1, 2, 3.”

Jaeha didn’t even spare the 1st year some time to think. He immediately landed a kick on the poor boy’s stomach.

The boy crouched down on his knees. “Hyung-”

“Get up.” Jaeha said before pulling the boy’s collar. “Fight.”

The boy tried to regain his composure before trying to hit the person in front of him. Jaeha easily dodged the punch and kicked the boy once again.

Jaeha’s lackeys looked at them from the side, they pitied the first year, but couldn’t really do anything to help him.

Jaeha’s anger management included beating up people as he pleased.

Jaeha strangled the boy on the ground, holding him in place and landed punches on his face.

The voice inside him whispered some nasty memories.

_ ‘You’re not the only one with the family name here Sunbae’ _

Kim Sunoo.

Jaeha never wanted something as bad as this in his life. He got them awfully easy.

But Kim Sunoo.

Jaeha wanted nothing but him.

The person under him barely reacted to his punch anymore. But Jaeha started to see someone else before him.

The sly smile and mole on his chin.

Jaeha saw red in front of him.

The lackeys started panicking when they saw their leader continuously beating up the unconscious boy. They could see the blood and cracks.

They tried to stop Jaeha by holding his shoulders.

“Jaeha stop it! You’ll kill him!”

“ARGH” Jaeha screamed, no one could stop him. He started to fight his other lackeys as well. 

“Help me hold him down!” One of them yelled.

His lackeys had a hard time stopping him, they ended up pinned him on the ground together. Jaeha could only yell and scream. Between his swears and curses the name was loud and clear. “NISHIMURA NIKI”

* * *

Sunoo was beyond annoyed. He tried to rub the skin on his arm, right at the place Jaeha’s hand touched him before.

He felt awful after bringing up his family name in front of Jaeha. But he was so sick of the other seeing him as something to win over and owned.

Sunoo didn’t realize that his legs already reached the dance club practice room. It was the only room with the light still on.

He peeked into the room.

Sunoo’s annoyance was replaced with awe in a second. 

Niki was dancing alone in the room. His steps were fast and Sunoo might start to question whether the younger really had bones in his body.

It was crazy how Niki could manage to change from moving so slowly and turned into a fast pace. 

Sunoo opened the door once he saw Niki stopped dancing.

The younger’s shocked face was cute to him.

“That’s really cool Niki!”

“Huh? Why are you here Hyung?”

“Jay texted me, he said you’re staying behind.” Sunoo pouted. “I love it when you’re dancing but please you need to get a rest Niki!” He scolded the younger.

“I heard that we can get a good sleep when we’re tired.”

Sunoo raised his eyebrows. “I bet Jay told you that.” Sunoo couldn’t understand how Jay’s body worked. He always slept like a log after spending his energy all day and yet he was always the first one to wake up in the morning.

“Don’t trust him, his body works differently from us. You’ll feel sore in the morning if you worked so hard like this.”

The younger smiled at him. Instead of answering he held Sunoo’s arm. 

Sunoo looked at his arm that was being held by the other, it was the same place Jaeha’s hand had touched him before.

And suddenly Sunoo felt lighter than before, as if Niki’s warmth melted away the burden of Jaeha’s touch on him.

“Do you want to join me Hyung?”

Sunoo was flustered when he realized the song was still playing. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“It’s okay.” The younger pulled him closer and held both of his hands. “Follow me.” Niki started to show the older one some steps.

Not once did his hands leave from Sunoo’s.

“Come on Hyung.” Niki cheered on him.

Sunoo felt shy actually, but he did comply and follow the other’s movement.

His steps were awkward but Niki found them endearing.

And before Sunoo realized, he was drowned.

Sunoo didn’t want to care about anything anymore.

He wanted to live in this moment fully, with Niki.

Sunoo wanted to believe that he knew no worry or anxiety. All he wanted to recognize was happiness and the warmth of Niki.

* * *

Taki felt chill all over his body. He turned to Sunghoon who was as shocked as him.

They were just done with submitting Taki’s assignment in the gym building. 

Sunghoon had advised them to take the shortcut to their dorm, it was closer from here since the gym building was located on the far east of the school.

Everything was fine until they heard a scream.

Curse Sunghoon and his curiosity, Taki tried to stop him at first, but suddenly he got worried that someone experienced something like him a few months ago.

The both of them didn’t expect to hear the familiar name out of Jaeha’s filthy mouth.

* * *

Niki laid on his bed.

He looked at the time on his phone. It was 2 AM.

Jungwon was fast asleep on his bed already.

Lately, Niki found he couldn’t sleep that peacefully just like before.

He had trouble sleeping ever since Taki’s accidents, and he just slowly got better.

He couldn’t believe that the reason for his peaceful sleep turned into the cause of him losing it once again.

Niki didn’t want to blame Sunoo for his insomnia. But Niki kept getting nightmare when he closed his eyes, even with constant reassuring from Sunoo, Niki was honestly still thinking about the probability of him hurting Sunoo, intentionally or not.

Taki called him a few hours ago, right after Niki took Sunoo back to his room.

His best friend told him about something he saw just before. Taki warned him that it seemed like Jaeha had some hatred toward him.

It was no longer news. Niki knew that already.

But hearing his best friend's story, Niki felt like something was coming.

He didn’t remember doing something to fuel the hatred Jaeha had on him.

Kim Sunoo. 

Niki didn’t know why the name appeared out of sudden on his mind.

No matter how many times Niki changed his position, he still couldn’t find any sleep no matter how hard he tried.

He pictured Sunoo’s bruised arms and tears every time he closed his eyes.

_ ‘Let’s talk to each other when we have a problem.’ _

Niki removed his cover and got up from the bed.

* * *

Sunoo wanted to curse whoever thought it was a great idea to call him at 2 AM when he was trying to maintain a good sleep. Well it was before he read the caller ID.

Sunoo sat on his bed and tried to read the name properly.

He was confused when he read Niki’s name on his screen.

They were just parted a few hours ago after dancing around in the practice room. Sunoo didn’t know if he could call his move as dancing or not, well it was an attempt to copy the dance machine, so no one could blame him.

Sunoo accepted the call.

/“Hyung?”/

“Hey Niki, is there something wrong?”

Silence for a few seconds.

/“Can- can I come over to your room Hyung?”/

Sunoo was sure that something happened. He was concerned for the younger. 

“Just come in, you know the pin already.”

Well Sunoo didn’t expect his door would open right after he finished his sentence. He ended the call when he saw Niki closed the door behind him.

“Um hi Hyung.”

The younger just stood in his place. “I’m sorry for disturbing your sleep.”

“It’s okay.” Sunoo looked at the younger softly. “What’s wrong Niki?”

Sunoo could see that the younger was unsure of what to say.

He was about to tell Niki-

“I had a nightmare.”

“Oh Niki-” Sunoo immediately scooted over to the other side of the bed, making room for the younger. “Come here.”

Niki reluctantly climbed the bed and slipped under the cover.

It was like a  _ deja vu _ .

The younger was surprised when Sunoo wrapped his arms around him. Sunoo pulled Niki close to his chest.

Finally Niki could hear his favorite melodies.

“Heeseung Hyung used to cuddle me to sleep every time I had a nightmare when we were a child.” Sunoo could smelt Niki’s shampoo. “I just realized that we had sleepovers a lot.” He smiled at the memories.

Niki didn’t remember the last time he slept while hugging someone, maybe it was when he was a child. His mom used to cuddle him and sing him to bed. 

Niki tried to focus on Sunoo’s steady heartbeats, he put his arms around the other as well.

Sunoo ran his hand to caress Niki’s hair. Heeseung always did that to help him fall asleep faster, it worked every time for Sunoo.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

Silence.

Sunoo looked down to see Niki, his eyes were closed. But Sunoo knew the other was still awake.

He kept holding him close.

It was funny how he was trying to help Niki to fall asleep and yet it seemed like he was the one being drifted away to the land of dreams.

Sunoo didn’t know if Niki really said it or it was only his imagination that drunk on sleep. But Sunoo heard a line of something similar to  _ ‘I’ll protect you.’ _ .

  
  


* * *

“I don’t know the point of doing it.” Jungwon folded his arms.

He needed to learn not to question Jay about his choices all over again.

“Come on, it’s cute.” Jay showed him the matching phone case.

They were at the mall. Jay had woken him up on a Saturday morning and dragged him here. The other said he needed some advice on something.

“We have different phones-” Jungwon was shocked when he saw Jay pulled out another phone from his jacket. It was the exact same as his. “Don’t tell me you bought that phone for this.”

Jay laughed out loud. “Maybe?” Jungwon was about to throw hands. “No- no I really need another phone actually.”

Jungwon just rolled his eyes. He looked at Jay who was paying for the phone case.

He wasn’t that surprised anymore when he saw his phone already on Jay’s hand. He didn’t know when Jay stole it from him. The other put the case he just bought.

Lately Jay had been a bit obsessed with matching things with Jungwon.

He said it's a thing couples do.

Jungwon wanted to scream at his face that they weren’t a couple. But it seemed like Jay had muted the fact on his head.

“Here.” Jay gave him his phone. “What about a couple rings?”

“Hyung stop it!” Jungwon pointed at the bags on Jay’s hold. “You bought so much already.” He cried out.

“At least let me pay for them! I’m going to use them as well you know?”

Jay thought Jungwon being angry was cute. “I just love giving you things.” He smiled. “Maybe because you looked like a lost sheep, I can’t help but wanting to take care of you.”

Honestly Jungwon was a bit offended to get called a lost sheep. But at the same time he was flustered at Jay’s sentence.

Damn it, he hated remixes.

Jungwon didn’t say anything when the older one grabbed his hand and dragged him around once again.

He kinda got used to Jay being clingy. The other strangely loved to hug him from behind and place his head on the younger’s shoulder.

At first Jungwon was annoyed because of the heat, but soon he learned that it wasn’t really a big deal to have another weight clinging to him.

“What do you want to eat Jungwon?”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Oh right, I hear there's a new cafe just outside the building.” Jay turned to see him. “Let’s get drinks there.”

“Okay.” Jungwon was thinking what to get. “Are they selling cake as well? I want to eat one.” He craved for something sweet after hearing Jay’s idea.

“I don’t know, but we always can go to the bakery if you want.”

“Okay.” Jungwon was happy.

It was insanely strange how easy it was for him to be happy when Jay was around.

“Jungwon? Is that you?” Someone called him.

And Jungwon felt like his worst nightmare just found him being happy and couldn’t stand it.

Even without turning around he could name the owner of that voice.

Jay stopped his steps when he heard the call as well.

Jungwon didn’t know why the hold in his hand became tighter, maybe it was him needing the comfort of the older one.

Jungwon turned around to face the main character of his bad dreams.

“Minhyun Hyung.”

Jungwon didn’t know that he would meet him here today. He thought he would never see that face ever again.

But he forgot that fate loved to play a joke.

Jungwon didn't expect to see the other when he was holding someone else’s hand.

The epitome of regret.

His first heartbreak.

Lee Minhyun, his ex.

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Thanks a lot for reading the chapter!! Please let me know about your thoughts on this chapter!! Hope you like it!
> 
> You can always find me on Twitter @yeonlyfe!!
> 
> Have a nice day and don’t forget to stay safe!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He said he would never let the other go.
> 
> But then, he looked at the other's shaky hand, the tears masked by the rain.
> 
> He couldn’t help but stay still in his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe hi? 
> 
> Please read the end notes!! (It will be a long one, once again)

Jungwon didn’t know that the face he once adored would turn into one Jungwon despised with his whole heart.

Not once the thought passed his mind that one day he would meet the other once again after that damned incident.

“Jungwon? Is that you?” Even his voice sounded like a broken tape.

Jungwon just wanted to escape.

“Minhyun Hyung.” The name tasted bitter.

Minhyun’s expression was unreadable as always, even after Jungwon learned how dark someone’s heart could manage to be. “It’s really you.”

“Jungwon you know him?” Jay asked the younger.

Fuck, Jungwon really wanted to say that he didn’t know the person in front of him so bad. But hell, no one could change the past even if he begged a thousand times. “He’s- Let’s just go Hyung.” Jungwon was about to pull Jay away from the scene.

“How funny.” Minhyun said out of sudden, making Jungwon turn his gaze to him once again. “Seems like we meet again, Jay.”

Jungwon was beyond surprised when Minhyun called Jay’s name, he didn’t know that they knew each other, he turned to Jay, seeking an answer. 

But he could see the way Jay’s jaw hardened.

Jungwon realized that the one who held the other’s hand tighter was Jay. What’s wrong?

“I’m not surprised by you actually Jay, but Jungwon?” The way Minhyun talked was filled with something Jungwon recognized as something despising and almost insulting at the same time. “I thought you’re better than this Jungwon-ah.”

Jungwon hated riddles and puzzles. The way Minhyun seemed to love playing with his mind, Jungwon hated it the most.

“Jungwon-ah.” He didn’t know why he chose to stand here listening to Minhyun, it was like a habit. “Do you know that the person you’re with right now is a player?”

Minhyun eyed their intertwined hands and scoffed. He could play a villain with that kind of evil laugh.

Maybe it’s time for Jungwon to face his nightmare.

“I know.”

Minhyun raised his eyebrow, he seemed amused. “And you still choose to hold his hand?” He laughed. “I didn’t know you’re this dumb Jungwon-ah.”

Jungwon held Jay on his place when the other seemed like he was about to approach Minhyun after hearing the word ‘dumb’ in front of his name.

“How do you know him Hyung?” Jungwon turned to Jay.

“He’s-”

“He made my girlfriend cheat on me.” Minhyun chirped.

Both Jay and Jungwon looked at the person in front of them.

“I didn’t even know her name, and yet you blame me for your failed relationship.” Jay finally said. “It’s not my fault that she found me better than someone like you.”

It was nothing but the truth.

He was used to people holding grudges against him for something he barely did. Love really was a complicated thing huh?

Jungwon wasn’t surprised at Minhyun’s exclamation. He was always like that, he found the joy of blaming someone for bad things that happen in his life.

He knew Minhyun too well.

And hell, he didn’t even know how he managed to fall that time.

“You’re always full of yourself Jay.” Minhyun took a step toward them. 

“And you’re nothing but a trash.” Jay pulled Jungwon and stood before him. The feeling Jay had when Jungwon told him about his past came like a sudden wave. How dare this person hurt Jungwon? The purest angel he knew. Oh God, if they weren’t in the middle of the mall, Jay would’ve given Minhyun some words, maybe some punches as well.

Minhyun raised his eyebrows. 

“Jungwon-ah.”

Don’t get him wrong. Minhyun held nothing toward Jungwon. It was the fact that Jay, once again had his hands on someone that once his. It was as if the universe tried to tell him that the person in front of him was way better than himself.

Minhyun hated it.

“Jungwon-ah.” He called the younger’s name once again. Jungwon peeked from Jay’s back. “Does this person make your heart flutter?”

Jay was dumbfounded. What kind of question Minhyun just asked?

But the way Minhyun looked at Jungwon, Jay knew something was bound to happen. A bad one at that. 

He looked at the younger, whose hand was shaking on his hold.

What’s wrong?

Jungwon was wrong. He wasn’t ready to face his nightmare yet. The humiliation left him with scars that need a lifetime to heal.

_ “You’re so dumb.” _

_ “You think all of that is real?” _

_ “You know there’s a thin line between naive and being stupid.” _

Bad decision. As much as Jungwon hated the person in front of them, he couldn’t change the fact that somehow Minhyun teached him something valuable.

Stop making bad decision Jungwon-ah.

He learned to take a cautious step everytime. He didn’t want to regret things he did by himself. Nothing feared him the most than being a failure, to himself especially.

Minhyun laughed quietly. “He does huh?”

It should be nothing, but it rang as loud as an insult on Jungwon’s ears.

Jay couldn’t bear it anymore. He felt like he needed to get Jungwon away from him, fast.

“Jungwon, let’s go.” Jay pulled Jungwon’s hand and walked away.

But Minhyun skipped forward and pulled the younger’s arm and whispered something to Jungwon. Jay couldn't hear anything.

“If you like being played that much, why don’t you come to me instead Jungwon-ah?” Minhyun let go of Jungwon's arm.

The color left Jungwon’s face.

Jungwon didn’t know what just happened.

Jay strode forward and launched a punch right on Minhyun’s face, making him fall on the ground with a loud thud.

Jungwon could see the blood on the corner of Minhyun’s lips.

Jay didn’t stop there, he got on top of Minhyun, held his collar and started to throw some more punches to his face.

Jay was mad. He didn’t know what happened to himself. He liked to call himself a calm person. Someone chill. 

He didn’t even hold a grudge toward people who picked a fight over nothing with him.

But hell, hearing those words from this jerk was enough to boil the blood inside him. How dare this trash speak to Jungwon like that? 

How dare he?!

Jungwon was terrified. He tried to stop Jay from hurting Minhyun. People started to stare at them. “Hyung! Stop it!” Jungwon held Jay’s arm and pulled him away.

Jungwon was close to crying. “Hyung- stop it please.” The way Jungwon’s voice shook was enough to bring Jay into reality.

Jay threw one last punch to Minhyun’s face before standing and walking away with Jungwon’s wrist held tightly by his bloody hand.

Jungwon looked back to see Minhyun get up and sat on the floor. He could tell that Jay broke his ex nose.

Minhyun laughed like a maniac and mouthed the same words that he whispered to Jungwon minutes ago.

‘He’s going to leave you just like I did.’

Jungwon wished he couldn’t read Minhyun’s lips.

* * *

  
  


Nishimura Niki was awake already, for quite some time actually.

He looked at the person who was peacefully sleeping in front of him. He didn’t know that Sunoo’s lashes were this long before.

He didn't get to experience this moment before, the last time he slept with the other, Sunoo woke up before him, he missed the chance to see Sunoo’s sleeping.

So he made sure not to miss it this time. He woke up this morning with Sunoo cuddled close to him, he had his arms around the younger all night.

Niki felt bad, it must be really uncomfortable for Sunoo. But Niki couldn’t help but feeling happy when the sound of Sunoo’s heartbeat woke him this morning.

The younger learned that Sunoo didn't really move when he slept. He didn't even stir when Niki detached himself from Sunoo and moved back a bit to get a better view of the other’s sleeping face.

Niki looked at the clock, it was almost noon. They already skipped breakfast and Niki knew that Sunoo needed to eat before having his medicine.

He stroked Sunoo’s hair, it was always him who did that for the younger. Sunoo needed to know that the simple gesture meant a lot on making Niki feel at ease.

He was grateful that he came here last night. He didn’t know that sleep could come so easy to him. The only thing he could remember was Sunoo’s steady heartbeat.

The thought of Jaeha putting his hand on Sunoo feared him the most. He still remembered the bruises on Sunoo’s arm the day he met the other in front of the nurse room, it was always Jaeha.

Seemed like Niki really needed to put an end to whatever thing Jaeha had started between them. He was fine if Jaeha targeted him like last time, at least he could throw some kicks to the other. But imagining Sunoo getting hurt, he didn’t know that the imaginary pain could hurt.

He couldn’t be by Sunoo’s side all the time.

Niki moved his hand to caress the other’s cheeks, Jungwon said that Sunoo had this natural blush on his face, and maybe it was what Jungwon talked about.

Kim Sunoo was too beautiful.

Niki could see the way Sunoo’s nose scrunched, it was so cute.

Sunoo slowly opened his eyes, he blinked a few times.

God, did Niki talk about Sunoo’s mesmerizing pair of eyes already?

They were really clear and the color naturally shining. It was as if the sun settled on those beautiful pairs of fox like eyes.

“Niki?” 

Niki caressed Sunoo’s cheek. “Good morning.” He could almost see the disappointment on Sunoo’s face when he pulled his hand away.

“Oh my God I’m still sleepy.” Sunoo said before scooting closer to the younger, hiding under the blanket.

Niki put his arms around the older one this time. “Are you cold Hyung?” Niki could feel Sunoo nodded against his chest.

“You need to wake up though, it’s almost noon.”

“What time is it?”

Niki looked at the clock on the nightstand. “Ugh.. it’s almost 11 AM.”

“WHAT-” Niki was surprised when Sunoo got up out of sudden.

“Is something wrong Hyung?” Niki got up as well and sat on the bed, facing Sunoo.

“I’m supposed to have lunch with my friends before leaving.”

“Where are you going Hyung?”

“Oh right, I have my monthly check up scheduled today.” Sunoo could see the concern on Niki’s face. “Come on, why are you making that face?” Sunoo cupped Niki’s face and pinched the younger’s cheeks. “Stop frowning, I’m okay it’s nothing to worry about.”

Honestly, Sunoo didn’t know if he was really okay or not. This past month had been stressing him out so much, and he got rapid heartbeats sometimes.

Just like this morning. Sunoo was wondering if his rapid heartbeats got something to do with his sickness or the way Niki looked at him.

God, he really needed help.

“I should go back to my room then.” Niki was about to get off of the bed, Sunoo immediately stopped the younger.

“No! We can have lunch together.” Sunoo held Niki’s arm. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Sure.” Sunoo was happy when he heard Niki agreeing. “I still need to shower in my room though.”

“You can shower here! I have plenty of Jay’s clothes in my closet, he always left his clothes everywhere.” Sunoo looked at the younger. “I know you prefer black over pastel.”

Niki gave in and sat on the bed again. “Okay.” He could see the way Sunoo’s face brightened.

“I’ll go wash up real quick!” Sunoo ran to his closet and took some clothes with him before disappearing behind the bathroom’s door.

Now, what should Niki do?

Going back to sleep for a few minutes would be great. Niki laid down in Sunoo’s bed, he chose to sleep on the other’s side this time, did he ever mention that he loved Sunoo’s smell?

Niki didn’t need any sleeping pills to help him sleep as long as he got a piece of Sunoo with him.

* * *

Jake stood in front of his boyfriend’s door.

Boyfriend.

He wanted to scream. He wasn’t used to this yet. He doesn't think he will actually.

Jake you can do this. 

He held the knob. But that was all. He couldn't open it. He was so nervous for some reason. Come on, it wasn’t the first time he came to Sunghoon’s room!

But it was the first time he came here as the other’s boyfriend though.

They had promised to have lunch with Sunoo before the other left for his monthly check up at the hospital. It was already 12 AM and Sunghoon hadn't answered his call since morning. He was sure the other was still in bed.

Jake slapped his own face lightly, trying to gain any confidence in him.

Sunghoon’s roommate moved school last winter. Jake didn’t have to fear bothering anyone. But still, he was contemplating to knock or just barged inside just like always.

Fuck it.

Jake wasn’t being himself right now. He quickly turned the knob after punching the password to his boyfriend’s room.

“Sunghoon wake-” Jake was surprised when he saw the other. “-up.”

Jake looked right to Sunghoon’s eyes. He didn’t know where to look!

Sunghoon was putting on his shirt when Jake opened the door.

Damn it Jake, you guys saw each other changing all the time but why do you need to get embarrassed this time??? Jake wanted to curse himself.

“Oh? You’re here?” Sunghoon seemed indifferent, which made Jake feel embarrassed even more, damn it.

“Haha- yeah.” Jake decided to turn around, pretending to close the door. 

Sunghoon tried to hold his smile. He knew Jake was really embarrassed right now, and he found it really adorable. His boyfriend was too cute.

Honestly, Sunghoon was no different. Who wouldn’t get embarrassed when someone you like accidentally walked in when you changed? And Sunghoon was shy by nature.

He tried to calm his heart and buttoned his shirt quickly. 

“I told you to wait in your room with Jay.”

Jake finally turned around after pretending that the door was stuck and couldn’t be closed easily. He was relieved when he saw Sunghoon was done with his shirt.

Wow, Jake was too busy being embarrassed before that he didn’t realize how handsome Sunghoon looked today. He was always handsome but there was something about the black shirt the other wore today.

“Jay dumped us.” Jake pouted. “Again.”

Sunghoon laughed softly. “What happened this time? Jungwon?” He could see Jake nodding from the mirror, Sunghoon was trying to style his hair. Yeah trying. He turned to Jake, asking for help.

Jake rolled his eyes. “You know the only hair I ever style is Layla’s, do you want me to put a hair tie on you?”

“I should ask Sunoo to help me, do you think he wakes up already?”

Jake sat on Sunghoon’s bed, he pulled out his phone and called Sunoo’s number.

Nothing.

“Let’s wake him up!” Jake was eager to pull a prank on his best friend, teasing Sunoo was always fun!

“Wait.” Sunghoon walked to his closet and pulled a pair of jackets. He put one of them on Jake. “They said it will be raining today.” He pulled the hoodie to cover Jake’s hair.

Jake wanted to jump out from the window. It was too much for his fragile heart. 

“Let’s go.” Sunghoon turned his back and walked toward the door.

Jake could smell Sunghoon’s cologne on the jacket he was wearing, he just wanted to scream at this point until he noticed something.

Jake smiled when he saw how red Sunghoon’s ears were. Well at least he wasn’t the only one being flustered here.

Jake was happy. He smiled widely before running to his boyfriend and jumped to his back. “Carry me!”

“What the-” Sunghoon instantly held the back of Jake’s knees. “You’re heavy!”

“Oh shut up, this is a punishment for not answering my call!”

“You called? When?”

“All morning!”

Sunghoon tried to reach the phone in his pocket. “Oh shit sorry, it was on silent.”

“Come on, let’s go, I’m hungry.” Jake put his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. He felt like a koala.

“Of course you are, I told you to eat your dinner-”

“Ssst, stop nagging me, let’s just wake Sunoo, get your hair done, and have lunch.”

Sunghoon just laughed. He walked out his room with Jake still clinging on his back.

He was excited to have more days like this with the other.

  
  


Jake and Sunghoon stood quietly in front of Sunoo’s door. They exchanged playful looks.

You know that kind of couple that consist of two pranksters? Yeah, them.

Sunghoon quietly entered Sunoo’s password, Jake’s hand was ready on the knob.

Both of them sneaked inside quietly.

Sunghoon looked at the bed. He turned to Jake.

Jake smiled and counted.

3

2

1

“SUNOO WAKE UP!” The both of them threw themselves into Sunoo’s bed and crushed the person that was sleeping under the cover.

“The fuck-”

They laughed when they heard a low cursing under the cover. Wait-

Sunoo rarely curse-

And the voice was familiar, but it’s not Sunoo’s!

“Niki???” Jake said when he removed the cover.

“What- how?!” Sunghoon was just as confused.

They heard the bathroom’s door opened. The three of them turned their gaze toward Sunoo who was busy drying his hair with a towel.

“Huh? You guys here already?” Sunoo asked innocently.

Jake and Sunghoon turned to the person that was trapped under them.

“Uhh can you guys get up? You’re crushing me.”

“Oh shit sorry.”

The couple quickly got up from the bed, letting the younger go.

“I’m sorry, we thought you’re Sunoo haha.” Jake laughed awkwardly. 

“It’s okay.” Niki got up completely.

Sunoo walked towards them. “What is it? Don’t tell me-” Sunoo laughed before he could finish his words. He knew that one day this kind of thing would happen.

“Stop laughing!” This time Jake found his real prey, he tackled Sunoo and tickled him on the bed.

Sunghoon looked at them, his best friends. Yeah, Jake would always be his best friend. Nothing could change that fact, he was really grateful to have Jake in his life. His best friend, his lover, everything Jake could be called.

Sunghoon turned his gaze to the youngest. Niki was looking at Sunoo and Jake who were wrestling on the bed. Sunghoon instantly knew where the fond look on Niki’s eyes fell.

“You guys had a sleepover?” Sunghoon asked the younger.

Niki turned to look at his senior. “Um yes.”

“Sorry for before.” Sunghoon laughed softly. 

“It’s okay.” Niki’s answer remained the same.

“Oh right!” Sunoo said out of sudden.

Niki and Sunghoon looked at the person who was struggling to get up from the bed.

Sunoo walked towards his closet and pulled some clothes and new underwear from the box. “You can use them.” He shoved the clothes to Niki. “Now off you go!” He pushed Niki inside the bathroom and closed the door. “You can use the new toothbrush on the cabinet!”

“Isn’t that Jay’s?” Jake asked when Sunoo sat on the bed.

“He wouldn’t even know if we sell half of his clothes.” Sunoo said.

Sunghoon nodded. “Maybe I should start selling his clothes that are left in my closet.”

“Oh God, you should look at our room! Bet you can find clothes under our bed.” Jake complained. 

“Talking about him.” Sunoo’s gaze fell on Sunghoon and Jake. “Where is he?”

* * *

Jay opened the door and walked inside the cafe with Jungwon.

He never let the younger’s hand go.

He would never let it go.

Jay found a table for them. He sat Jungwon on the seat. The younger visibly shaken from the recent incident.

Fuck Lee Minhyun.

Jay crouched down in front of the younger and held both of Jungwon’s pale hands. “Are you okay?”

Jungwon looked at the hands that were holding his.

Jay.

_ Minhyun. _

Shit-

Jungwon shook his head, his head hurted so much, he got a headache. His heart beat rapidly. He didn’t know that meeting Minhyun would affect him this much.

Jungwon unconsciously held Jay’s hands tighter.

_ Don’t leave me. _

He could never say such things. His ego wouldn’t let him do it. But hell, Jungwon was close to begging.

Jungwon didn’t expect that he would fall so fast, so deep, it got him afraid once again.

He got a taste of happiness from Jay and he found himself addicted to the love the older gave.

_ Was it really love though? _

Jungwon finally looked at him. He seeked truth behind those pairs of eyes.

He could see nothing but worry in Jay's eyes. It terrified him when he noticed how deep they were.

_ Worry. _

_ Concern. _

_ Fear. _

_ Love- _

Jungwon wished he never learned the word.

What are you fearing Jay?

The voice rang loud on his ears.

Suddenly Jay pulled his hand away.

_ Please don’t leave- _

Jay put something on Jungwon’s hand. A handkerchief.

The older started to wipe Jungwon’s hands. “You hate it when your hands are sweating.”

Jungwon never told him about that before. “How did you know?”

“You carry a handkerchief all the time, I just notice that you wipe your hands a lot when you’re sweating.”

Jungwon didn’t know how to respond to it. Jay was too sweet, way too sweet to his liking.

“Thanks Hyung.” That was all Jungwon managed to say.

Jay smiled. “Now wait here, I’ll get us some drinks.”

“No-” Jungwon was about to stop Jay from leaving, but the older one was already walking toward the counter.

Jungwon looked at the piece of cloth on his hand. Jay knew Jungwon brought a handkerchief almost everywhere and decided to bring one as well.

Jay never returned Jungwon’s handkerchief that he lent back then.

And Jungwon thought that the other owed him one more thing.

His heart.

It was like a bad habit.

Jay needed to learn a lot of things.

Drrt drrt.

Jungwon pulled out his phone from the pocket. 

An unknown number.

Who?

The phone almost slipped through his hand when he remembered Minhyun's face.

How-

Jungwon was really close to hanging up the call. 

But he tried to reassure himself that it could be someone else. The call could be an important one.

Jungwon accepted the call with a shaky hand. “Hello-”

/“Jay! Quick, what should I wear to our dinner tonight? Blue or red?”/

What? It was a girl's voice. Jungwon couldn’t recognize the voice.

/”Jay? Hurry up I’m in the store right now!”/

Jay? 

Jungwon looked at the phone on his hand. It wasn’t his.

/”Hello? Jay don’t tell me you forget about our date today.”/

His heart fell on the ground, his blood ran cold.

Jungwon stared at the person who was walking toward his table. Jay had a smile on his face.

It was as if Minhyun was beside him, whispering something as deadly as a poison to him.

_ He doesn’t love you. _

_ He would leave just like I do. _

_ You know the truth. _

Jungwon said nothing when Jay sat in front of him. He just couldn’t believe his own voice at this point.

The younger put the phone on loudspeaker before placing it on the table, in front of them.

/”You can’t forget about it Jay! You promised you would go on a date with me tonight!”/

“Shit- Jungwon-” Jay was surprised when Jungwon started to get up and leave.

He ran after the younger. “Jungwon! I can explain-”

Fuck, the younger left the cafe already.

Jay chased the younger. He pulled Jungwon’s arm, making the younger facing him.

Jay knew he was damned when he saw the tears on Jungwon’s face.

“Let me go.” Jungwon pulled his arm away from Jay’s hold. His voice was clearly shaking.

The older one didn’t know what to say. He messed up big time.

He shouldn’t have agree to the date-

“You can’t even explain yourself this time.” The younger said.

Jay took a step closer to the younger. “Jungwon-ah I’m-”

“ _ I’m sorry, It won’t happen again, I promise. _ ” Jungwon said to him. “You’re gonna say those words again.”

“Please let me explain Jungwon.”

“What left to explain Hyung? Let me ask you, is it real? The date.”

Jay quietly nodded.

Jungwon laughed, it was so painful to hear. “Oh silly me, sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I have no place to ask you those questions.” Jungwon said.

Jay was confused. “What do you mean-”

“We’re nothing in the first place, it was up to you with whom you would spend your night.”

“Jungwon I’m sorry it’s a bad habit-”

“Bad habit?”

Bad habit.

It was a bad habit indeed.

The sky started to rain. The morning news was right.

Jungwon saw Jay took off his jacket. The older one stepped close to him and put the jacket on his shoulder. “You’ll catch a cold.”

Jungwon wiped the tears on his face. “Jay Hyung.” He smiled.

Jay looked at the younger. 

_ Sorry. _

_ Worried. _

_ Regret. _

_ Love. _

_ Fear. _

So it was what Jay feared.

Jungwon took off the jacket Jay gave to him.

“Thanks to you today I realize.” Jungwon didn’t care anymore about his shaking voice.

“You're not the one with the bad habit here.” Jungwon was grateful that the rain hid his tears away. “It’s me, trusting you ends up being my bad habit Jay.”

He shoved the jacket to Jay and turned to leave.

Jay stared at Jungwon’s figure that slowly blurred.

Jay said he would never let the younger go.

But then, he looked at Jungwon’s shaky hand, the tears masked by the rain.

He couldn’t help but stay still in his place.

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you miss me? Haha sorry I don't know what am I doing.
> 
> First of all, I’d like to say sorry for disappearing so suddenly. I couldn’t believe I just left Sunki cuddling while Jaywon stood in front of a trash can for a whole month. Sorry.
> 
> I’ve been busy with finals and endless assignments *cries
> 
> It was the longest break I ever took wow.
> 
> Hope you don’t lose your interest in this story while I’m gone.
> 
> There are only few chapters left on this story (hopefully)
> 
> I may start to update randomly again since I’ll be kinda busy next month… I’M SO SORRY
> 
> And about this chapter, when I tell you I cried writing the last scene, I’m not lying. 
> 
> Just a little trivia, if Jaywon have their own series, I’ll call it Bad Habit.
> 
> Well, how was it? I feel bad for leaving this story for too long only to come back with angst. But yeah..
> 
> You can always scream at me here or on twitter @yeonlyfe! Just talk to me, I promise, I don’t bite!!
> 
> Thanks a lot for all the love that this story got, I can’t believe the AU would be this long haha. I really appreciated every words you sent to me, I’m sorry if I can’t reply to each messages, you know how bad I’m at communicating haha
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the story! 
> 
> Hope to see you in the next chapter soon! Have a great day! Oh and Happy New Year!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But it made him think whether he tied the other to him all this time, making the younger unable to breath or fly away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry!!

_ “Mother, when will Father come home?” Little Jungwon stood beside the window, it had been a while since he heard his father’s car pulled up on the driveway. _

_ The color of the lollipop on his hold looked so bright compared to the dark sky outside, and the air inside his home. _

_ He looked at his fingers. _

_ Ten used to be such a big number for him. It was a lot. _

_ It was too much. _

_ It was too long. _

_ He started to wonder when his father would come home, he ran out finger to count. _

_ “Stop looking at the window Jungwon.” His mother always answered his question, no matter how silly it was sometimes, his mother always gave him an answer.  _

_ But lately she stopped giving him answers to the question that involved the word ‘father’. _

_ Jungwon knew that people tended to fight sometimes, he even fought with his friends a couple of times, but they always made up in no time. _

_ He learned it from his mother.  _

_ Lollipop worked like wonder every time. _

_ Jungwon always asked for some extras candy every time he fought with his friends, he loved offering sweet peace. _

_ He walked to his mother who was busy packing something into a really big box. _

_ Jungwon held the lollipop closer to his chest. “Mother.” _

_ Another unanswered call. _

_ But little Jungwon knew his mother was listening, so he continued. _

_ “Are you fighting with Father?” _

_ His mother seemed as if she didn't expect such a question from her seven years old. _

_ She stopped packing things and looking at Jungwon. _

_ Jungwon noticed that it had been a while since he saw his mother’s beautiful smile. People always said that he had the same smile as her, maybe it was the dimples. _

_ And the aunt that sold flowers down the street always called him ‘the boy with the sweetest smile’, he supposed maybe she was right. _

_ It was the different kind of sweet the candy tasted on his tongue. _

_ But he liked the way his mother smiled just as much as he loved the candy cane. _

_ And he craved for both. _

_ “Um-” Jungwon was a shy kid, but never once he felt this anxious in front of his mother.  _

_ He walked closer and held the candy to his mother. “Can you give this candy to Father and be friends again with him?” He asked his mother. _

_ His mother sighed and crouched in front of him. “Jungwonnie.” The smile was there. _

_ But it wasn’t the same. _

_ He learned to tell the difference, but he just couldn’t name them. _

_ Bitter? _

_ Maybe he could call the smile on his mother’s face right now as bitter. _

_ He hated to taste something bitter. _

_ “You can keep the candy, I can’t give it to him.” His mother said. _

_ “Why? But father will love it!” As far as Jungwon remembered, his father had the same sweet tooth, just like him. “Oh- I know!” He said excitedly. “Father is big! So he will need two candies!” He was about to run to his room to fetch more sweets, but his mother stopped him. _

_ Jungwon looked at his mother, he was wondering why his mother looked so sad. He didn’t remember not being a good boy this week. _

_ “Jungwonnie.” His mother caressed his hair. “We can’t offer the candies to make friends again with Father.” _

_ “Why?” Jungwon asked. “Did father do something to upset you Mother?” _

_ His mother just smiled. _

_ “Do you want some candies from him?” _

_ “No Jungwonnie, I hate sweets.” _

_ “Then what should we do?” Jungwon felt distraught. _

_ “We can start packing your toys.” She stood up and held Jungwon’s hand, walking together to his room. _

_ “Are we going somewhere?” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ Jungwon took one of his plushie and gave it to his mother who just finished setting up a box for his toys. “Mother, if you don’t want candy from father, what do you want instead?” _

_ His mother stopped putting his toys into the box to smile at him. _

_ Almost sweet. _

_ “Come here.” She opened her arm and Jungwon quickly climbed up to her lap, like always. _

_ She hugged her only child close and said. “I don’t think I need anything else when I have you here with me Jungwonnie.” _

_ Jungwon had enough fingers to count the kind of emotions he knew. _

_ It was called sad. _

_ He felt sad out of sudden, and he didn’t know why. _

_ He hugged his mother. Jungwon looked at the lollipop that stayed on his hold all day long. _

_ Jungwon let go the candy, it fell on the floor just beside his messy toys. “I don’t want anything else too.” _

_ That day Jungwon found that candy wasn’t as sweet anymore. _

* * *

Jungwon opened the door to his room and closed it harshly. He could care less about anything.

He was hurting and it was impossible to apply any medicine.

He was really ashamed of himself for falling the second time.

Jungwon felt like a fool-

“Jungwon?” Niki asked him, he came out of the bathroom, his hands were wet.

“You’re here?” Jungwon tried to hide his pain from his friend. “Sorry for slamming the door.”

But it seemed like Niki was able to read through him clearly, way too clearly.

Niki just came back from his lunch with Sunoo and his friends. It seemed like Jake and Sunghoon had their own plan and Niki was alone after Sunoo left to have his monthly check up.

He was surprised to find Jungwon standing in their room, looking so disheveled and shivering from the rain. “Are you okay?” He asked the other.

Is he okay? 

Is Jungwon okay?

Not at all.

Not even a bit.

Jungwon nodded to Niki, but damn it, he couldn’t hide his tears. “I’m- I’m okay-” Jungwon tried to say. 

Niki took a step toward him. He got taken aback when Jungwon fell on the ground and shook his head. “I’m not-.” It hurt so bad.

Niki didn’t know what to do, he never really had a chance to comfort someone who was crying.

He sat down beside Jungwon. 

Damn it Niki, think!

_ Sunoo always pulled him into a hug. _

Niki carefully held Jungwon’s shoulder and pulled him closer. He attempted to give the other some pats on his back too.

“It’s okay-” Niki tried to say. “You can cry.”

And Jungwon just did exactly as Niki said. He did cry.

For a really long time. 

* * *

Niki stood in front of his room.

He asked Jungwon if the other needed something and it didn't really surprise him when his friend said he just wanted to be alone.

So Niki left the room only to stand outside the door.

He heard some steps coming closer.

“Where is he?” Daniel seemed like he just ran a marathon, maybe he was, judging from how sweaty the boy was.

“Inside.”

Niki had called Daniel at one point, he knew that the other would handle the situation more properly.

Niki realized that every time Jungwon had a bad day, the other always ran to his tall best friend. It was a fact, and Niki knew as well that Jungwon and Daniel had the strongest bond between them.

Maybe just as strong as his bond with Taki.

But it was nothing to compare.

It was different after all.

“What happen?”

“I don’t have any idea, he just came to the dorm and cried.”

“What is he doing right now?”

“He was in the bathroom when I left.” Niki answered.

“Okay.” Niki was about to stop Daniel from opening the door.

“He said he wants to be alone.”

“He would do something stupid if we leave him alone.” Daniel looked at him. “He tends to overthink a lot.”

Niki understood.

“Hey Niki.” Daniel asked him.

“What is it?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

Niki raised his eyebrow.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Daniel seemed to have something on his mind as well. “I have a lot to talk with Jungwon actually.”

“Sure.”

“You can sleep in my room if you want.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll manage.”

Daniel chuckled. “Of course you’ll manage, you think I don’t know that you spend the night in Sunoo Hyung’s room?”

Niki rolled his eyes. “Just go inside.” He looked at the closed door. “I knew that he would need you more than me.”

“That’s not true, you’re his friends too.”

“Nothing could be compared to the years you spent with him.”

Daniel smiled at him. “Friendship isn’t being measured by time you know.”

“I know.” Niki opened his door and pushed Daniel inside. “Just go.”

Daniel turned around before closing the door.

“Thanks Niki.”

Niki couldn't even ask why the other thanked him, Daniel closed the door too fast for him.

He was about to leave when his phone rang.

‘Jay Hyung’ brightly displayed.

* * *

Niki looked at the phone on his hand. It wasn’t his.

Jay just called him and asked him if he was free to meet him in front of the coffee shop near the school.

Niki was so confused when the older one handed him a phone, saying it was Jungwon’s.

_ “Can you ask him if he still wants to see me? I need to apologize properly.” _

No explanation, nothing.

Niki was dumbfounded when Jay immediately left him on the side of the street with his bike.

He was on the way back to the dorm, he planned to wait for Sunoo in the common room and asked the other whether he was okay if Niki spent another night with him.

Niki was contemplating if he should accept Daniel’s offer instead, but he supposed he got addicted to Sunoo’s sleeping face.

A car passed him. It stopped right in front of the main entrance of the student dorm. Niki was elated when someone got out of the car.

It was Sunoo. Looked like he was done with his doctor appointment. 

The older one noticed him immediately and waved excitedly before talking to someone through the car window.

The car took a turn and drove away, it passed Niki once again.

“Niki!” Niki turned his head to the sweet voice that just called him, Niki ran to him immediately.

“Hey Hyung.”

“Did you go somewhere?” Sunoo asked him curiously.

“I just met Jay Hyung outside.”

Sunoo raised his eyebrow. “Huh?”

“I think he is fighting with Jungwon.”

“Huh??” Sunoo was nothing but a pile of confusion. “What happened?”

“I don’t really know honestly. He just gave me Jungwon’s phone and left.” Niki looked at the phone in his hand, he could tell that the case was brand new, and it was even a couple one. He saw Jay’s when the older one took them out of his jacket pocket.

“Oh no-” Sunoo clearly looked really worried. 

Jay always ran to them every time he had something on his mind. He loved telling people about his daily life.

But Sunoo knew that Jay was more than what people picture him everyday.

He had a lot of things on his mind, and the others never really shared the deep secret he hid under the silly act and stupid smile, even with them, the one he always proudly called his best friends.

Sunoo took his phone out and called Jay.

Nothing.

The call never reached him.

* * *

If people ask him, Jay would choose a motorcycle over a car.

There was something about driving through the wind.

The cold always pieced his uncovered skin, but it was a good distraction at least.

Jay needed it, the distraction.

He went slower when he reached his family house.

The security opened the gate immediately when they recognized the bike Jay’s dad got him earlier this year.

Jay parked his bike carelessly.

He wanted to despise it.

Jay just came back from meeting Niki near the school. He didn’t dare to come any closer, in fear of meeting Jungwon out of sudden.

He knew he acted like a coward.

But Jay thought that maybe disappearing from Jungwon’s sight might help the younger better than him barged in like the last time.

The wound was too deep.

It couldn’t be healed by a simple bucket of white tulips.

Jay started to think that maybe it was a sign that he needed to stop writing their story.

No matter how good the plot would seem to him, it looked like Jungwon would end up suffering in it.

And Jay would hate himself truthfully.

He looked at the house building in front of it.

People always said how big the house was and how lucky Jay was to be born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

But it was nothing but a prison.

Jay always hated complicated things. He listened well to his parents, he just didn’t like it when they got mad and took his toys away.

His whole life was shaped to suit his parents’ needs.

He still remembered the doll Hyeri threw to him when he said ‘no’ to her when she said Jay had to marry her when they grew up later.

The thing was, Jay liked the 7 years old, but too bad, he just promised Sara that he would be her groom the other day.

_ “Don’t worry Hyeri-ah, Jay just joked, he will marry you when the both of you get older.” _

Jay was surprised when he heard what his dad just said. As far as seven years old Jay remembered, it was his dad that told Jay to play with Sara again next weekend.

_ “Just say yes to her. Don’t you want to help me Jay? If Hyeri is happy, his father will gladly work with our family.” _

It was always like that. 

And Jay was too young to understand.

He was just happy to meet a new friend.

It was another weekend when Jay got to meet Hyeri once again. 

_ “But you said you want to marry me.”  _ Jay didn’t mean to sound as betrayed, but he hated the fact that Hyeri said she would marry Minseok instead, an older boy that just moved to their elementary school last Monday.

_ “He said he will give me a candy if I marry him!” _

_ “Candy?”  _ Jay’s face brightened when she mentioned his favorite snack. It always upset him that his mother never let him have more candies before bed.  _ “Then I’ll marry Minseokie Hyung too!” _

The teacher was having a really hard time separating two seven years old who were fighting on the playground. They didn’t know whether the kids were fighting over Minseokie or some cheap candies.

It was natural for him for gaining ‘the playboy’ title people put on him. His parents tried to have the best benefit of having a really fine boy as their child.

And Jay thought it wasn’t really a big deal.

People tended to believe what they wanted to hear.

And Jay enjoyed the thrill.

Until he met this particular boy that loved to peek on his dance practice room one evening. He wanted to blame Jungwon’s dimples for it.

He just wanted to stop it.

Jay walked to his house and the door opened immediately, he ignored the people that greeted him, it was always lively, but still he felt suffocating.

He brought himself to his parent’s study. He knew they would be there, they were always there.

Leaving Jay alone to play with their maid.

He opened the door. Jay couldn’t even say a word before his mom threw him a question.

“Tell me, why Anna’s mother just called me saying that you made her daughter cry.”

Wow how fast the news spread?

Apparently Jay made two people cry today. He wanted to curse himself, what a jerk. It was funny how Mrs. Lee’s youngest daughter hated fakes and always made sure to have every piece of the season and managed to shed fake tears all the time.

“I told you that Anna is interested in you.” His dad moved his eyes from the document he was reading. “Call her and apologize. Don’t you understand that we’re so close to signing a deal with her father?”

Jay had enough.

“Can you just stop?” He yelled to them.

Jay felt like the emotion he hid deep inside his cramped heart started to flood him whole.

“What? Did you just-” His mother seemed to have a shock on the sudden change in his boy’s behaviors.

“Are you trying to disrespect me? What kind of tone is that?” His dad looked at him right on the eyes.

“I’m so tired.” Jay pushed his hair. “I told you I don’t want to go to that dinner.”

“Jay what happened? You never behave this way.” His mom walked to him.

“I’m just tired listening to all of your silly requests.” He stared at them both. “I’m your child, not some kind of tool for you to gain deals and acquaintances, if you don’t remember, that’s it.”

“Is there someone?”

Jay wanted to flip the table in front of them. It was always hard talking to his parents, it was complicated and he was never fond of each moment.

“Yes.”

“It won’t last long anyway.”

Of course it won’t last long, you guys ruined it even before something started between him and Jungwon.

“I never say anything about it before, I always do what the both of you want.” Jay clenched his fist. “Because I never really cared about someone before.”

His parents seemed taken aback by the way Jay showed his emotion, it was rare even for them who lived with him for the past years.

Maybe if they don’t bury their noses in work…

The way his parents shaped him made Jay believe that the life he was living was truly his. He was like a puppet who couldn’t see the strings behind it, believing that the voices were its.

Jay was so done lying to himself that he enjoyed this kind of life.

The only thing that he could proudly claim as his was his dancing skill. It was the fruit of his endless hard work and painful crying when he fell on the ground.

Maybe his friends too.

He still remembered how bright Sunoo was when the other thanked him one morning on the first day of school after Jay ‘saved’ him from tripping Sunghoon. Jay could even name the color of Jake’s tie when the foreign boy countlessly apologized to Sunghoon, while holding the dictionary that tripped the other on the floor.

It was a bit chaotic. 

But Jay was grateful that he held that pale hand that day, he didn’t know that the hand would bring another couple of warm palms. Jay was grateful that he was blessed with enough room to be filled with more colors other than black and blue.

“Can I finally live the life of my own?” Jay didn’t know that the sadness would feel this warm on his cheekbone. “Please.”

* * *

Sunoo knocked the door multiple times.

“Sst you’re being too noisy Sunoo!” Jake threw an apologetic look at the people that passed by them on the hotel hallways. Sunghoon just stood quietly on the side.

The three of them spent the rest of the day calling Jay and messaging him on all of his social media. It took hours for the other to finally text them back saying ‘Stop it, I can’t even see my screen because of the damn notification flooded it!’

And it took a lot of convincing for Jay to finally tell them where the hell he was.

“I swear to God if he doesn’t open the door-”

The door creaked open.

“You’re too loud.” The three of them couldn’t believe the sight in front of them. Jay stood there, holding the door open, looking nothing but lifeless.

What the hell happened?

* * *

It was almost midnight when Jay finally told them what happened.

What truly happened.

“I didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t know, I never told you before.” Jay was gifted with a pillow on his face.

He was still not okay, but having his best friend here with him strangely lifted something from his shoulder. Jay almost felt bad that he didn’t tell them sooner.

“Your parents have too much ambition.” Sunghoon commented.

“I know right, they are my parents after all.” Jay looked at the window. “I have too many dreams on my own.”

And Jay felt pain when he remembered how his dream turned into a nightmare in no time.

He was wondering how Jungwon was doing right now. He wasn’t even sure if he had any right to wonder about the younger anymore.

Jay should have said ‘no’ when his parents told him to go.

Maybe sometimes complicated things would have its own benefit.

He wished his parents were right when they said Jay’s feeling would soon disappear just like the other ‘feeling’ he had before.

But damn, he should have known that it was nothing but another bullshit he wanted to paint on him.

He was like an old canvas that was filled with ugly scribbles by some untalented artists he called his parents.

Jay was wondering if he was being too harsh toward his parents today.

But it was like a broken dam that held the water for too long, it turned green and mushy. Jay couldn’t help but spill the ugly thought out of his mind.

Jay started to think whether running away like this without talking properly to his parents was a good thing.

But he just needed some time.

To learn.

To think.

To feel.

“You don’t know how worried we were.” Jake said to him. “Sunoo was about to cry thinking that you would do something stupid.”

“You always barge into my room every time I have a bad day, you can’t just disappear when it was your turn to feel sad!” Sunoo angrily shook Jay’s shoulder. “Let me barge into your room like you always do!”

Jay chuckled. “Okay- okay, but not the hotel’s room. I don’t want people to see my best friends being weird in public.”

“But Jay, seriously.” Sunoo hugged the pillow close to his chest. “What are we going to do about it?”

“About what?”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “About you and Jungwon of course.”

Jay was dumbfounded. “Wait a min.” He looked at his best friends. “I don’t think this is a ‘we’ problem.”

“It is.” Jake told him sternly.

“But really.” Jay told them. “I don’t think anyone could do something about it.” He stared at his phone on the bed, the case was too distracting. “About Jungwon and me.”

“You’re just going to give up like this?” Sunghoon asked him.

The dialogue strangely felt familiar.

Maybe because Jay spent the rest of the day thinking about the matter way too much.

And giving up just sounded too harsh.

Letting go may be worded better.

But it made him think whether he tied Jungwon to him all this time, making the younger unable to breath or fly away.

He felt he really was a bad guy.

Karma.

That word was underlined in his dictionary.

Maybe his parents didn’t have to take the full responsibility.

He turned to his best friends, trying to look as casual as a person with a crack on his heart could be and said, “Whatever you guys named it.”

* * *

Jake sat on the side of the hotel’s bed.

He was alone.

Sunoo was taking a call outside on the balcony, while Jay was busy with himself in the shower, he could hear the running water.

Jay had forced him to stay in the room while Sunghoon went out to buy some drinks for them.

As far as Jake could remember, Jay never took a shower in an empty room, he said a bathroom was the scariest part of a building.

Maybe they should stop telling stupid ghost stories.

And Sunoo was just as cowardly as Jay was.

So, Jake had no option but to let his boyfriend run the errand alone.

Jake looked around the room.

The place screamed luxury but whispered the word of loneliness at the same time.

Jake lived in a very warm house, his father was really fond of cooking and mastering baking in his free time.

It was never a strange thing to come home with a ruined kitchen and a pair of giggles of his parents.

And listening to his best friend's story gave him an insight that not all houses were really a home at all.

Maybe that was why his parents tried to grow him into a really kind person.

Everyone could use some little kindness to others.

It made Jake curious.

Despite being ‘best friends’ the fourth of them and Heeseung never really had a really deep conversation. 

The trivia was dropped here and there, but they never really sat and listened to each other's hidden words.

The fact that it took him an eavesdrop to know about Heeseung’s feelings and Jay’s missing to know about his story drove him mad.

It reminded him of his relationship with Sunghoon. Jake noticed that the both of them had more deep conversation than before.

They were trying to get to know each other better, and that made Jake’s heart flutter.

The both of them were on a right path.

It gave him an idea.

Maybe they should spend some time together and tie their grey bond all together, all of them.

Maybe a trip?

He knew Jay could drive even before he turned fourteen.

Jake got excited out of sudden.

He heard the glass door open, and it looked like Sunoo had just finished his call.

Jake greeted his best friend with a smile. “Hey Sunoo, hear me out.”

* * *

The common room was empty if you excluded a boy who was tossing around on the sofa, trying to find a comfortable position.

Niki swore he wouldn’t be able to find sleep at this rate.

It wasn’t about the uncomfortable sofa, but more about his friends.

Daniel said Jungwon was sleeping when Niki went to give the phone to him. He didn’t get a chance to see how his friend was doing.

Niki felt like he was the only one who knew nothing about the real ordeal that happened between his senior and Jungwon.

He felt lost.

He was so tempted to text Sunoo, asking about what actually happened, Niki was sure Sunoo knew.

The other left as soon as he got the news, leaving Niki who was standing in the dark, alone. But Niki couldn’t blame anyone though, he knew it must be quite serious.

It was past midnight, all of his friends must be asleep already. Well, guess he had no choice but spending the night here.

He didn’t even have a blanket damn it.

Niki turned to his side, he opened his eyes.

The room was dark but Niki was sure he saw someone on the door. He actually preferred human companion better than a ghost, but well at least he wasn’t completely alone.

Niki chuckled at his own jokes.

He closed his eyes again, trying not minding the ghost’s business.

But wait a minute-

Niki heard someone approaching him. A hand even came to move his hair.

Wow Niki didn’t know that ghost got some comforting aura on them.

“Stupid Niki.”

Niki opened his eyes immediately.

Kim Sunoo was in front of him.

“Huh?” Niki blinked a few times, making sure that it wasn’t a product of his cloudy mind. “Sunoo Hyung?”

“Why don’t you call me?”

Real.

Kim Sunoo was real and crouched in front of him.

Niki changed his position and sat on the sofa, Sunoo followed suit.

“Uhh why are you here?”

Sunoo sighed. “Daniel called me, he said he was sorry for kicking you out of your own dorm and making you crash into mine. He thought you were with me.”

“I looked for you everywhere. I couldn’t even reach you on the phone!” Sunoo scolded him.

Niki scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, no battery.”

Sunoo stood up from the sofa. “Let’s go, we have classes tomorrow.”

Niki was contemplating, he loved the idea of sleeping on Sunoo’s room for one more night but his conscious eating him whole. He felt like he had been doing nothing but burdening the other this whole time.

“Uhh I’m fine sleeping here.” Niki said to the other. “You can go upstairs Hyung. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Even though there was no light on the room, Niki could clearly see that Sunoo slowly lost his patience to him.

“Move.” Sunoo pushed Niki on the sofa. “I’ll sleep here with you.”

Niki was dumbfounded.

“What- are you insane? You can’t be sleeping here!” Niki couldn’t even grasp the reason why Kim Sunoo would sleep in the cold room uncomfortably when he could lay on his warm bed with a soft cover??

Sunoo turned to him. “I should be the one saying that! Why would you sleep here when you could cuddle with me upstairs?! Are you insane??”

“Sst please don’t yell Hyung.” Niki was grateful that the lack of light made his red ears hidden. “It’s the middle of the night, they will kick us out.”

“Let them!”

Knowing Sunoo, he wouldn’t stop before Niki agreed to leave with him.

He supposed he got no other option, eh?

“Okay okay, stop yelling.” Niki looked into Sunoo. “Let’s go, I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Sunoo happily stood up and took Niki’s hand.

Maybe Sunoo was right, Niki must be insane to think that sleeping alone in the common room was better than having the other’s warmth around him like this.

Maybe Niki was indeed insane.

And he wanted to blame the boy with the brightest smile for making him go insane.

to be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe hello?
> 
> Does anyone still read this au? I’m so sorry for disappearing again. I’ve been really busy with life. I feel like I don’t think I can promise you a weekly update anymore… Since yeah you know...
> 
> Well, what do you think of this chapter? I feel like I added too much drama in the last few chapters haha. I know this chapter is a complete disaster.
> 
> Hopefully I don’t bore you with this story yet!
> 
> You can always yell at me here or on twt @yeonlyfe!!
> 
> Have a great day!!


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